Chapter 21
KAT
The door of the villa closes. An unprecedented heaviness sits in my body.
He caught me at a weak point, and typical Jax, was trying to help. Has always been there to help.
Despite the heat, a coldness spreads through my limbs. I close my eyes, begging the sun to warm my frozen soul.
I’ve been such an idiot.
They say, “Sorry is the hardest word.”
But to me, it’s not sorry. That’s the easy part. It’s the other words that go with it. The words that make a true apology, not a lame excuse.
Played. I was played, like the Steinway grand piano I loved so much as a child.
I look back at the door.
Jax has gone.
Gone with the letter that vindicates him.
My chest constricts, pain crushing my heart and lungs. I suck in a breath, then another. Sobs wrack my body.
I bite down on my wrist to stifle the sound, but the usual confident and controlled me, has gone.
All the anguish of the past sixteen years. Jax, Elijah and Darra, Pen, Lottie, Zach… Dad, rise to the surface. Everything I’ve ever suppressed. And I’m the queen of suppressing my feelings.
Sixteen Years Ago
“Oh. My. God. Is that Danny?” Carol hisses, next to me.
I follow her gaze, stopping short.
“The bastard,” she says, turning to face me, her hand gripping my arm.
What the hell? He said he was studying.
Danny called me two hours ago to cancel our date.
“Sorry, babe, but I’m going to have to bail. I really need to get this proposal done. If not, Mr Kick-My-Ass is going to fail me, and my parents are going to freak.”
“Do you need any help? I can come over.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Danny says, a little too quickly. “I’ll just get distracted. You do that to me, babes. You’re just so beautiful.”
“Okay,” I say, barely able to keep the relief from my voice.
We’ve been dating for a couple of months. I was hoping it would get better, but Danny is more brawn than brain, and his lack of conversational skills is getting a little tiring.
“What will you do now?” he asks.
“I’ll have an early night, read that book I bought the other day.”
“I’m sorry, babes, I really am. Anyway, I better go, this assignment won’t write itself.”
Carol had called two minutes later, and I decided to be spontaneous and go out with the girls, let my hair down.
“Is that?”
I watch my flatmate Cleo walk up to Danny. I freeze as she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls his face to hers. I expect him to pull away, but instead, he grabs her arse and hauls her against him, smashing his lips to hers.
“Do you want to leave?” Carol asks quietly, placing a gentle hand on my arm.
I shake my head and lift my chin. I turn to face her.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I say.
I square my shoulders and walk over to where Danny and Cleo are still sucking face. Two of Danny’s mates look up, the colour draining from their cheeks as they spot me.
“Er, Danny,” Ed says.
“Fuck off, mate, can’t you see I’m busy?”
“He can, but he’s trying to warn you I’m standing behind you.”
Danny jumps back from Cleo like she’s on fire, almost sending himself flying over the stool behind his knees.
“What? I thought you were—”
“Like I thought you were working on an assignment for Mr Kitterman.”
Danny bites his lip.
Cleo’s hand comes up, but he shrugs it off with a grunt.
“Not now, Clo,” he says, with a little too much familiarity.
“What the hell, Dan?” she says, stepping up next to him. “I’m not just here for you to fuck.” She turns to me and gives me the once-over. “I thought you said you were going to dump the frigid bitch.”
Wow, I know Cleo isn’t a close friend, but we still live in the same house. So much for the girl code I keep hearing so much about!
“Clo, don’t be daft. He’s never going to do that, she’s worth billions.”
Terry, Danny’s other friend, laughs, nudging Ed.
“Shut up Ter,” Danny hisses, reaching for me. “Kat, baby,” he whines.
A twitchy feeling starts in my extremities, and I shrug him off.
I turn to my housemate. “Cleo, honestly. You’re welcome to him,” I say, turning and walking away. “Goodbye, Danny.”
“Kat, no. She doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s just, a guy has needs, and you keep saying no—”
I spin around, putting up a hand to prevent him from smashing into me. Instead, it ends up flat against his chest. Danny clasps it in both his hands.
“Kat, listen, I’m sorry.”
A roiling heat fills my belly, and I pull my hand away, using all my willpower to refrain from wiping it down my jeans.
“Ever think the reason I didn’t jump into bed with you is more to do with you than me? Go back to Cleo, Danny.”
I look over his shoulder, but Cleo has disappeared. Maybe she only wanted him because she thought he was mine.
Call dibs on stealing Kathryn Frazer’s boyfriend.
I stop the grimace that threatens.
Oh joy, living together now is going to be so much fun!
I turn to walk away, only this time he grabs my arm.
“Don’t walk away from me, Miss High and Mighty Frazer,” he snarls.
I glare down at his hand curled around my bicep.
“Remove your hand, Danny,” I say quietly.
“Or what?”
I don’t say anything, instead I grab his hand and twist, the way my self-defence coach taught me years ago. Danny spins, and I press him down onto the nearest table.
“That’s what, Danny. Don’t fucking touch a woman when she doesn’t want to be touched,” I say next to his ear, shoving down hard before I let go.
A camera flash goes off, and I grimace.
Great, just what I need.
Mum and Dad are going to love that headline.
He slides off the table onto the beer-soaked floor, grabbing at his shoulder.
“You’re a fucking psycho,” he yells.
I raise an eyebrow, but say nothing, turning on my heel and walking back towards my friends.
Carol runs up. “Are you okay? Where the hell did you learn to do that?”
I smile at her. “Dad made sure we all had self-defence lessons growing up. Glad I’m not rusty.”
“It was really cool, can you teach me?” she asks.
“Of course.”
Every girl/woman should know some form of self-defence. The other girls gather around. Danny has clearly sloped off somewhere to lick his wounds. He’s Mr Popular, he won’t appreciate having been put in his place by me, not so publicly.
“I don’t know what you ever saw in him,” Rach says, coming up and giving me a spontaneous hug.
“If I’m honest, I don’t either,” I say.
At the time, I thought it would be the quickest way to fit in.
I’ve been here two years, and my social life was non-existent until I started dating Danny.
When he invited me out, I decided to throw caution to the wind and go.
I met these lovely ladies at one of the house parties we attended together.
Danny got so drunk that he passed out. I made friends. No regrets.
“Good riddance,” Claire says, stepping forward and pulling us all in for a group hug. “Are you going to be okay? You share a flat with that backstabbing bitch, don’t you?”
I shrug. I can’t say I’m looking forward to coming face-to-face with Cleo, but I refuse to be intimidated.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll call Eli.”
The girls nod, and Carol fans herself, making the others laugh. She has a huge crush on my older brother.
“There’s no accounting for taste.”
I chuckle at my friend.
I pull out my phone and dial Eli’s flat. I put my finger in one ear to hear over the music.
“Hey, Stud Central. How may I be of service?”
I roll my eyes.
“Hey Jax, is Eli there?”
“Kat? Shit, sorry about that. It was a dare.”
I pick up the embarrassment in his tone.
“Where are you?” he asks. “It sounds like you’re in a club.”
“I am. Is Eli there?”
“No, he’s out with Darra.”
There’s disapproval in his voice. I know he doesn’t like her, he’s told me as much.
“Damn,” I say, before I can stop myself. “It’s fine, I’ll try his mobile.”
“What’s up? Can I help? I can come and get you if you need a lift.”
My heart speeds up, as it always does at the thought of seeing or spending time with Jaxson Lockwood.
“It’s okay,” I say.
“Kat,” he warns. “What’s going on?”
Rach steals my phone and gives him the rundown of what’s happened.
She smirks, before handing it back to me, mouthing, “You can thank me later.”
Jax’s deep voice comes over the line.
“Kat, stay where you are. I’m on my way.”