Chapter 24
JAX
My arms slice through the water, my muscles quivering from the abuse, but I’m past caring. Anger bubbles deep inside my chest as my brain whirs.
Kathryn Frazer has once again fucked with my head, something I swore I’d never let happen again, only this time it’s not only her.
I turn in the water and head to shore, slowing my pace to let my muscles cool down. Years of training cannot be ignored, despite my racing heart and overactive mind.
I stumble up the beach, dropping onto a sun lounger and closing my eyes.
“That was some swim, young man.”
I open my eyes and find Mary, Philip’s wife, leaning over me.
My muscles twitch from overexertion.
“I was working through a few things,” I say, my breath coming in pants.
“I’d say,” she tuts, making me smile. “You know a good conversation works wonders and is far less taxing on the body too.”
I harrumph, although it comes out more as a huff.
My chest rises and falls rapidly.
I feel a hand on my wrist and realise she’s taking my pulse.
I sit up.
“I’m okay, honestly,” I say. “I swim over one hundred laps a day.”
She raises an eyebrow.
“Physically, maybe, but I’ve just watched someone abuse their body to almost breaking point, so I’d say mentally, young man. You’re screwed.”
“Is that your medical opinion?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Nope, it’s one of a seventy-seven-year-old woman. Someone who has lived a lot and seen even more.”
Philip appears to be carrying a bottle of water, which he hands to me.
“Here you go, drink that.”
“Thanks,” I say, taking a deep swig. My hand and arm shake, although not as much as I feared.
“Did you and your lady have a falling out?”
“Mary!” Philip says. “Mind your own business.”
I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
She turns on her husband. “Poppycock. If someone hadn’t spoken to me all those years ago. You and I would never have happened.”
She pauses, then turns back, staring me down.
“I’m paying it forward,” she says.
“Paying what forward?”
“The advice I was given.”
Her hand snakes out and grasps Philip’s, entwining their fingers.
Philip shoots me an apologetic look, but stays quiet.
Mary smiles, taking my silence as my willingness to listen.
“You only get one chance in this life, and sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns. Nothing worth its salt comes easy. Things worth fighting for require effort and steely determination. Only you can decide if she’s worth it.
But looking at what you just put your body through, that level of emotion means something and shouldn’t be ignored. ”
“If only it were that simple,” I say, brushing my hair off my face.
“Have you tried talking to her?”
I look up and find her wise, blue eyes staring down at me. She shrugs, and her eyes sparkle.
“It’s the best place to start. You don’t want to reach my age and have any regrets. Life is not a dress rehearsal. You get one shot. I wish or I just moments, those suck, believe me. I’ve been around enough dying people throughout my career. Those are always the saddest.”
Her voice drops, and she places a hand on my shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze.
She turns back to Philip, sharing a silent message.
“Just think about it,” she says, before they both turn and walk away, leaving me sitting there, alone.
I rest my elbows on my knees and watch the waves roll up the sand.
I sip the water until it’s empty.
My muscles begin to relax, and I stand up, pulling on my t-shirt.
My mind races, searching for answers as I make my way back to the villa.
I know I promised Caleb I wouldn’t rock the boat, but bloody hell, I’m tired of all this shit.
When I enter, Kat is sitting on the sofa, curled up with a book and a half-empty glass of wine.
She looks up, her eyes hollow, and I would swear she’s been crying.
Something in my chest snaps.
“Hey,” she says, returning her bookmark to its page and closing the book. No folding down the page corner for Kathryn Frazer, even the spine of her book looks untouched.
“Hey.”
I dump my water bottle into the recycle bin before moving to the end of the bed and sitting down, my elbows resting on my knees.
I pull out the letter and toss it to one side.
Kat’s eyes follow the movement, her throat bobbing.
“We need to talk,” Kat says, before I can open my mouth.
“We do,” I agree. “But first I want to know, why? Why did you let me read it?”
Kat shrugs. “Its contents affect you as much as me, and to be honest, I’m tired of all the lies, the deception. I’ve spent sixteen years being someone else’s puppet, unwillingly dancing to their tune. It’s time I take my life back.”
“Kat—”
She may call herself a puppet, but she went from my bed to his in a short time. My stomach roils as the thought of them together, her crying out his name as her body milked his cock.
I press my thumb and forefinger into my eye sockets, trying to ease the pressure building behind my eyes.
When I look up, Kat has schooled her features.
She opens her mouth, but it’s like her voice has lost its power. She closes it again, her posture sinking slightly.
“Kat. I don’t know what you want me to say?” I tell her truthfully.
I run a hand through my hair, resting it at the nape of my neck.
“You don’t need to say anything. It’s me who needs to apologise.
To own what happened. I’m sorry I believed them over you.
I’m sorry I’ve treated you the way I have.
Blamed you, when you were innocent.” She shakes her head.
“Not that words can undo any of it. Please don’t think I’m making up excuses.
I’m not. I’m trying to own it.” Her hand goes to her pendant.
“I believed them over you, and I’ll have to live with that choice for the rest of my life. ”
I lean forward, resting my forearms on my thighs and glance up.
“The whole thing is a mess,” I say with a sigh.
Too many people have had their lives controlled because Zach and Darra were complicit in her old man’s scheme.
Mary’s words haunt me. Regrets.
Kathryn Frazer will always be my biggest regret.
Loving her, never. But, our relationship since that day…
Caleb and Elijah weren’t my only friends in the Frazer household.
Kat was that, long before Cal. Losing her nearly broke me.
It was why, when Dillon Myers offered me the internship, I went as far away as possible.
“Do you know, when you confronted me, I initially thought it was a joke. How could you believe that of me? Then I began to wonder, did you doubt me because you knew I wasn’t good enough for you?”
Kat’s stoic expression cracks, and is replaced by one of horror.
“Not good enough? Why on earth would you think that?” she blurts out. “What the hell, Jax! I truly thought you’d slept with Sasha. When did I ever give you the impression you weren’t good enough for me?”
Kat jumps up and starts pacing. I can almost hear her brain humming. She spins to face me.
“You were my lover, my best friend. Do you know how lost I was without you?”
My heart pounds at her words.
She clearly has a poor memory of past events.
Heat rushes through my body, my muscles tense.
“Lost? Really? Wow, we have quite a different recollection of past events.”
Kat frowns. I stare at her.
Has she really forgotten?
“You were fucking hanging off Zach within a few weeks of us breaking up.”
It’s my turn to get up and start pacing, although the additional bed makes the space small.
“I came back from my interview in the US, and he was all over you like a rash. It didn’t look like you were too lost from where I was standing. It looked like Zach was the perfect replacement. One you later moved in with, need I remind you.”
Kat blanches at my words, her cool exterior finally shattering.
She shakes her head, but the adrenaline rushing through my system has taken over. I grit my teeth and inhale deeply before closing my eyes. I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“You’ve got it all wrong,” she whispers. “He was helping me.”
I growl.
“Not like that,” she snaps. “He was a buffer. After everything that happened, I couldn’t face the parties and the social events alone. He offered to be my platonic plus one.”
“I’m sure he did,” I hiss, having read his fucking explanation!
“He said if people saw me with him, they’d leave me alone. I needed space to process, and he was offering as a friend, or so I thought. I was too bruised to argue. It’s not like I could talk to Elijah, he was going through enough of his own shit, and you were gone.”
“How did Zach know about us? Did you tell him?”
Kat’s head shoots up.
“He didn’t. Not as far as I was aware.”
I shake my head.
“You never questioned how he knew you needed a buffer?” I ask sarcastically.
The colour drains from Kat’s face.
“I…”
She sinks onto the sofa, her head in her hands.
“After everything Sasha said, I asked Zach about your love life. He told me you had a flock of women chasing you.”
“Did you ever mention you and me? That we were together?”
Kat’s eyes clash with mine, and she inclines her head as if trying to remember. She bites her lip before shaking her head slowly.
I let out a forceful breath at the sharp tightness in my chest.
“Everything was such a mess. Elijah had just found out about Darra’s pregnancy, and my family were in turmoil. Then straight after I confronted you about Sasha, you disappeared off to the US for two weeks.”
My body temperature rises, my voice growing thick.