Chapter 34
JAX
Iroll over, my hand reaching out under the covers. The bed next to me is cold and very empty.
I force my eyes open and drop onto my back, staring at the ceiling. My senses are on heightened alert, waiting for a sound, any sound.
Nothing.
Memories of the night before flood my brain, leaving me instantly hard. She’s always had the ability to tie me up in knots.
Pushing up onto my elbows, I look and listen.
Silence.
I swing my feet off the bed and grab my shorts and t-shirt from where they were rapidly abandoned. Pulling them on.
I pad to the door, leading outside and open it.
Kat is sitting on the sofa in one of the hotel dressing gowns, her knees drawn up as she stares out over the beach and sea. In her hand, she nurses a steaming mug of something.
Strong coffee.
The smell hits my senses, making my taste buds water.
“Good morning,” I say, stepping up next to her.
Her muscles tighten as if my presence has surprised her, and when she looks up, my stomach knots.
“Morning,” she says, before inclining her head towards her coffee. “I didn’t make you one as you were sleeping.”
I drop into one of the cushioned chairs nearby.
“That’s okay,” I say, my stomach jumping, as a dullness envelops my chest.
An awkward silence settles between us.
“I have a meeting with Don in an hour. After yesterday’s trip, there are a few ideas I want to run past him before we leave.”
She swings her legs off the sofa, wrapping the gown more tightly around her. “I didn’t want to disturb you, but I need to pack.”
She turns to walk away. A chill settles in my chest, and I’m suddenly aware I’m probably not going to like what comes next.
“So that’s it?” My voice is coming out huskier than I want.
She stops, but doesn’t turn. Her eyes close, and she inhales, the image clear in the glass reflection of the doors in front of her.
She turns her head sideways, but her gaze doesn’t meet mine.
“I think with the project and —”
“Don’t fucking say it,” I interrupt, trying hard to hold on to my anger. “I’ll get out of your hair. I have my own packing to do.”
I stand up and move towards the beach entrance. I don’t want any of the staff members to see me leaving Kat’s villa. Rumours and gossip have a nasty habit of taking hold, and I don’t want last night tarnished, even if it meant nothing to Kat.
Kat grips my arm, appearing at my side. I freeze, before turning my head to look at her.
“I’m sorry,” she says quietly, her brows furrowed. “I just think getting involved now would be a mistake. Last night was amazing.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “But we’re about to embark on a major project together. This. Us… muddies the waters. The board—”
I harrumph. “Don’t worry, princess. I get it.”
“I don’t think you do. I need to be impartial and independent. If not—”
“I said, I get it. Look, you’re not the only one who needs to pack. I’ll see you at the jetty in a couple of hours.”
I gently pull my arm out of her grip and begin walking away. Each step adding additional weight to my already heavy soul.
“Jax,” she calls my name.
I spin to face her. “What, Kat? What do you want from me?” I snap.
She drops her chin to her chest, shaking her head. “I want, need you to understand.”
“Understand what?” I say sarcastically. “How you can fall apart in my arms one night, but the next day, you expect me to crawl back into my box and act like nothing happened?”
She opens her mouth and closes it again, so I plough on. “Forget that I have bite marks on my shoulders, or scratch marks down my back, or that my cum, even now, is dripping from your body after I filled you with it, over and over again.”
Colour floods her cheeks.
“Sorry, princess, I can’t turn it on and off like you apparently can.”
Last night was magical. Words can’t describe what it was like to kiss her lips, sink into her body. I’ve never felt for anyone what I feel when I’m with Kat, it’s like she opens something up inside me, something no one else has been able to reach.
A painful pressure builds in my chest around my heart, as if my ribs are suddenly too tight.
“You think this is easy for me,” she chokes out, her voice heavy. “I’d love to be like any other woman, but I’m not. People rely on me… It’s not about my happiness.”
I sigh, knowing this is one battle I’ll never win.
“Keep telling yourself that,” I say, my voice having lost all power. “I’m going to go.”
Before she can say anything else, I turn around and walk away.
This time, she doesn’t call me back.
Staring straight ahead, I exit her villa onto an empty beach, my eyes finding the temporarily repaired breakwater.
I make my way towards the jetty, alone. My eyes track the horizon and I want nothing more than to strip off my clothes, and dive into its crystal blue depths, Where I can swim until my muscles are screaming for me to stop.
I pick up my pace until I’m jogging, realising I’ve left my shoes at Kat’s villa.
Hitting the jetty at pace, I slow only to allow the carts and other guests to pass.
“Good run?” One of the men in the neighbouring villas asks as I pass.
I nod, pausing at my door to retrieve my keycard.
I push the door open, engaging all my willpower to refrain from slamming it shut behind me.
Damn her. I thought we’d finally got somewhere.
Stripping off, I grab my swimming shorts and pull them on, before heading straight for the steps leading down to the water.
I lower myself into the calm sea, the tiny fish darting away from the steps as I descend.
Making my way across the reef, I drop off the edge, diving into the dark, colder water. As I surface, I suck in a breath as the chill cools some of the burning need to return to her villa and demand she give us a chance.
I’m a fool. It’s not like she didn’t warn me.
I push forward, my arms driving through the slightly stronger waves now that I’m clear of the reef, the saltwater washing away the scent of Kat that clings to me like a second skin.