61. Grady
GRADY
The longer I drive around Nolan, the worse I feel. I’ve hit up all the usual party spots and shoved my way through crowds, calling her name and showing her picture to people who had no idea who she was.
“Haven’t seen her.”
“Nope.”
“Who’s she?”
By the time I leave my third party, I am beyond frustrated.
Zander calls me with his latest update as I slam back into my Jeep.
“Tyrell and I have walked around campus. There’s no sign of her.
Carson and Nylah didn’t see her in Offside; they even checked the bathrooms. Satch and Wily said the library is closed already and they didn’t see her around it…
and Sienna’s searched the house from top to bottom.
She’s not here, man.” Zander sighs. “Fuck, I don’t even know if she’s in Nolan anymore.
But we’ll drive past th at all-night diner on Main before heading back to Football Frat. ”
“Unless you think there’s somewhere else we should check,” Tyrell calls out.
I shake my head, irritation sizzling through me as I stay parked alongside the curb and slam the steering wheel. “Fuck!”
“I know. I’m sorry, brah.”
Closing my eyes, I end the call and rest my forehead against the wheel. Where the hell could she be?
Maybe she didn’t leave the hospital. Could she be hiding out in that massive building?
Then why’d she leave the note?
And Wily’s truck is missing. She’s taken his truck, and she’s gone somewhere.
Shit! Why would she just take off?
“Think, dammit!”
Starting the engine, I head for the hospital, for no other reason than I don’t know what else to do.
“Siri, call St. Vincent’s Memorial Hospital.”
My phone does as it’s told, and I get through to reception faster than I thought I would.
“St. Vincent’s emergency room. How may I help you?”
“Yeah, hi. I was there earlier this evening and my… girlfriend… had to leave early. She left me my car keys and a note. Do you remember that?”
There’s a pause, and I can feel the woman’s confusion before she slowly answers me. “I’m sorry, sir, but my shift only started three hours ago. What time was this?”
“Uh…” I glance at my watch. “Yeah, shit, it would have been way before that. ”
“I’m just looking around my desk, and I can’t see a note or car keys.”
“No, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” I hang up after a quick goodbye and slam my wheel again, pausing at a red light and forcing myself to stop being so fucking emotional and use my logical brain.
I tap my finger on the wheel as I try to go back to the beginning and run things through.
We got to the hospital. She was with me.
I had to deal with Mac, then Teah’s parents and… she must have walked out at some point during that exchange. The last time I remember seeing her was when she touched my shoulder and told me to let Mac go. Then security came, Mrs. Wilson was crying, and she wanted me to go see Teah.
Blake must have walked to reception, given them my keys and the note.
As soon as I make it through the intersection, I pull over and scramble to tug the note out of my pocket.
You’re busy, and I’ll only get in the way. Here are your keys. Take care, Grady.
“I’ll only get in the way.” I read the words aloud a few times, and a horrible, ugly thought starts to form and grow and…
Fuck! Did she think she was getting in the way of me and Teah?
Did she think… ?
“Fuck!” I shout again, balling up the note in my hand and forcing myself to think the way she might have been.
After the blowup with her brother, she’s running on the assumption that Wily hates her. She’s obviously confessed all to her parents, and that mustn’t have gone well by her parents’ reaction on the phone before. And now she’s running on the false assumption that I’m trying to get back with Teah.
Maybe.
Shit. I can so understand why her brain went there.
I hate myself for giving her that impression. I was just so pissed with Mac for putting Teah in danger. I’ve been worried about her with him. It’s been eating at me ever since the first time I saw them together; then the accident happened, and it all came bubbling out of me.
Snapping my eyes shut, I focus back on Blake, shoving my guilt aside for another time.
Right now, all that matters is finding her and making sure she’s okay.
So… she’s feeling rejected, alone… ashamed after that shit with her parents.
“What would she do?” I whisper, my brain lighting with an idea. “Disappear.”
Hasn’t she been begging me ever since we got back to take her into the forest and disappear? It was always said in jest, but the underlying tone was clear. She wants to run away from her problems.
“Would she do that?” I stare out my windshield, gripping the wheel and wondering if she would seriously drive back to the forest.
Looking at my watch, I wince, hoping like hell she isn’t that reckless .
But fuck it. I have to check. What other options do I have right now?
Squealing away from the curb, I head out of Nolan, speeding to the forest as fast as I can get there.
It’s a two-hour drive, and it’s getting close to dawn by the time I pull into the parking lot and spot Wily’s truck.
“Thank God,” I whisper under my breath, then feel my insides disintegrate.
Oh shit.
She went into the forest. No doubt unprepared, just stormed into those woods in the dark. Who knows where the fuck she’s ended up.
“No,” I whisper, jumping out my door and running around to check Wily’s truck. It’s been here for hours. The metal is cold, the windows frosted over from the dropping temperatures throughout the night.
She’s out there in it.
I spin, eyeing the start of the trail and feeling my gut plummet. Which way did she go?
Yanking out my phone, I call Wily. “I’ve found your truck. It’s in the parking lot.”
“Is she there? Is she okay?” Wily sounds wired, like he’s been pacing all night…or ever since I called to let him know where I was heading.
I wince. “She’s not in it. I think she’s gone into the forest.”
“Fuck!” he barks. “How long ago?”
“I don’t know, man. But I’m gonna go in and start looking for her.
If I don’t find any tracks within the first thirty minutes, I’ll call in search and rescue.
It’s fucking freezing out here, and she’s completely unprepared.
” Fear starts choking me. She’s unprepared.
And there are so many dangers in this wood—animals for one.
What if she’s been mauled by a bear? Attacked by a wolf pack? Pounced on by a mountain lion?
My brain starts short-circuiting as I picture her wounded, all alone, bleeding out on the forest floor.
“Shit, Wily!” I run a hand through my hair, breaths punching out of me. “Shit!”
“Hey, dude.” Wily quickly switches roles with me, his voice easing me out of this sudden, blinding panic. “Chill. I need you to stay calm. I need you to find her, okay? Promise me that you’ll find her.”
“I have to,” I choke out. “Because I’m gonna lose my shit if I don’t. Wily, she’s got to be okay.” Images of me stumbling over her frozen body make my heart rate spike.
“She will be.” Wily’s only saying what I need to hear, but he can’t hide the underlying fear lacing his tone. “She’ll be okay, but only if you stop freaking out and go do your thing. Go find my sister, Grady.”
I swallow, nodding and sucking in a breath as I let that sizzling terror rip through me, then force my body around to the back of my Jeep.
“If I haven’t heard from you in an hour, I’m calling search and rescue,” he tells me.
“Yeah, okay. Reception might be a little sketchy once I get into the forest, but I’ll do my best to keep you posted.” We say a quick goodbye, and I hang up before pulling out my emergency supplies.
I go through them, quickly repacking my smaller daypack and taking the essentials for this situation. The guys always hassle me about having a backup for my backup. Well, it’s for moments like this !
I don’t know what I’m gonna find, but I remind myself that Blake can survive a night. It’ll take temperatures much colder than this for a body to freeze. She’ll probably be dehydrated and suffering mild hypothermia, but she’ll still be alive.
As long as an animal hasn’t gotten to her first… but if she’s making enough noise as she moves around, they’ll probably keep their distance anyway.
“She has to be alive,” I tell myself, willing the statement to calm me, forcing my brain to conjure up images of me finding her sleeping peacefully just off the trail, or stargazing by the lake where we spent our first night.
“But she might be injured.” I have to be prepared for any scenario, right?
Placing my first-aid kit at the top of my bag, I then throw in an extra bottle of water, forcing my brain away from more wildlife nightmares.
Mountain lions, black bears, coyotes. Does she know how to deal with those?
Shit, shit, shit!
Fear is taking out my barely there calm like machine-gun fire.
I’ve never felt like this before.
The thought of losing her is fucking killing me.
Because you’re in love with her. You found your cosmic match, and you just didn’t realize it!
Snatching the bear spray, I slip it into my pocket as a final precaution, then close up my Jeep and catch my reflection in the glass.
“You!” I point to myself. “Calm down and go find her.”
Clenching my jaw, I suck a few deep breaths in through my nose, then turn and start running. Shouting her name, I head down the most likely trail and scour the ground for dainty shoe prints.