8. Katie
Katie pulled the black eyeliner up into a wing at the side of her eye.
‘That’s weird, Mum,’ Lucy said, peering at her over her book.
Katie sipped her glass of wine. ‘It’s a party look for the concert I’m going to with your uncle Frank.’
‘Is that why you’re wearing a sparkly dress?’
‘Yes, it’s a sparkly-dress kind of night.’
‘What’s for dinner? I’m starving,’ Toby asked.
‘There’s a lovely chicken casserole in the oven for you.
Your dad will be home soon and he’ll sort it out.
’ God bless ready meals, Katie thought. She’d never have got out of here tonight without them.
She turned her focus back to the mirror.
She had very little time to make herself look good for the gig.
She topped up her glass of wine. The alcohol gave her that lovely tingling feeling, right down to her toes. Bliss.
‘I got an A in my essay, Mum,’ Lucy announced.
‘Wow! You’re such a clever girl, Lucy. I was rubbish at English, so you must get that gene from your granny.
’ Katie was proud of herself for saying something nice about Nancy.
It was hard at times to compliment the old boot.
She knew that Nancy had never approved of her because she wasn’t ‘good enough’ for Jamie and never would be.
In Nancy’s eyes, Katie was a school dropout who didn’t like reading, and a hairdresser who didn’t earn a ‘proper’ salary doing a ‘proper’ job. It stung like hell.
When she and Jamie had first started going out, Katie had refused to meet Nancy for a full year.
She knew by the way Jamie talked about his mother that she would be judgemental and that Katie would not pass muster.
Katie didn’t want Jamie to meet her dad either.
She wasn’t bothered with people’s parents.
You were stuck with the parents you had: they didn’t define you.
They didn’t make you who you were. Your life choices did; your experiences did; making mistakes and learning from them did.
Katie cared about Jamie, not his family.
She’d grown up with no mother and a fairly hopeless dad and she’d turned out just fine.
She didn’t need her dad to approve of Jamie.
She loved him and that was all that mattered.
She didn’t care if Nancy didn’t like her, but she did care that Nancy’s disapproval might sway Jamie.
So Katie made damn sure that Jamie was head-over-heels in love with her before she agreed to meet his mum.
The initial meeting had gone exactly as Katie had predicted.
When Jamie had arrived to pick her up and saw she was wearing ripped jeans and her favourite cherry-red Dr Martens, she saw him flinch just a little, but Katie wasn’t going to pretend to be someone she wasn’t.
At Nancy’s home, which was like a show house, not a cushion out of place, Nancy had been polite but cold.
She’d asked Katie a million questions, which Katie had answered honestly and directly.
Katie had been working, earning her own living and dealing with all sorts of difficult customers for six years at this stage, so Nancy didn’t faze her.
When Nancy had asked her what her career plans were, she’d said, ‘To be a great hairdresser,’ and smiled.
Nancy had then asked if she wanted to own a salon.
‘No. I don’t want the hassle of all that admin and stress, with employees and wages and rent increases. I like doing hair and I’m good at it.’
She could see Nancy was not impressed by her lack of aspiration to be the next Vidal Sassoon, but Katie didn’t care.
She only cared what Jamie thought. They’d left the lunch holding hands and Jamie had hugged her and told her she was amazing and how proud he was of her for not being intimidated by his mum, like all of his previous girlfriends.
Katie had turned to him, looked into his eyes and said, ‘It’s you and me, Jamie.
No one else matters.’ And she loved that he had agreed and chosen her despite his mother’s objections and disapproval.
Nancy had a face on her like a slapped fish at their wedding, but Katie had spent the day in a prosecco haze, not giving a toss about her mother-in-law.
‘I have a spelling test coming up, Mummy. I need to learn my spellings,’ Toby announced.
Katie looked at the clock. She had to leave in ten minutes and she had only just begun to do her make-up. ‘Why don’t you get Lucy to help you? She’s so clever. She got an A in her essay, Toby. Isn’t that amazing?’
‘I want you to help me. Lucy helped me last week when you had a headache.’
Damnit, she didn’t have time for this.
‘I’m sorry, sweetie. Lucy, can you help him?’
Lucy sighed dramatically and put her book down. ‘Fine, but it’s a mother’s job, not a sister’s.’
‘You’re an angel.’ Katie reached out to hug Lucy but her daughter swerved to avoid her. ‘I’ll take you to the bookshop tomorrow and get you some new books for being so helpful.’
‘Okay, fine.’ Lucy softened slightly at the bribe.
Jamie arrived ten minutes later. He kissed her and Lucy, and swung Toby over his shoulder, to his young son’s delight. ‘Frank’s waiting for you outside in a taxi.’
Katie applied some last-minute lip gloss and stood up.
Jamie whistled. ‘You look very sexy.’
She giggled. ‘So you like my gig-style?’
‘Very much. I might have to wait up for you.’
‘Do that!’ She drained the last of her wine, kissed him and ran out to the waiting taxi.
Frank was the best person ever to go to a gig with because he knew everyone in the music business.
From the moment they arrived at the venue he introduced Katie to loads of people, ordered drinks for her and, best of all, they had VIP tickets for the concert and to hang out afterwards.
Katie hadn’t come to one in ages, and now she wondered why they didn’t do this every week. It was amazing.
Tonight, their VIP spot meant they were within touching distance of Isla Overtone. Katie was in heaven. They danced and sang their hearts out.
After the final song, Katie threw an arm around her brother-in-law’s shoulders. ‘I’m only ever going to gigs with you from now on. This is so epic!’
‘It’s a deal.’ Frank grinned. ‘Melanie hates them.’
Katie often wondered what Frank and Melanie had in common.
Obviously they worked in the same agency and that was how they’d met, but they were so different.
When she’d asked Jamie how Frank and Melanie had ended up together, he’d said that his mother had instigated and encouraged the relationship and then they’d fallen in love.
Jamie said that in the beginning Melanie had been slightly less obsessive about work and Frank had been more successful and involved in the agency. Slowly, over time, that had changed.
But Katie still couldn’t see Melanie falling for Frank.
He was her total opposite. He was Mr Chill and she was Mrs Wound-up Like A Spring.
Katie knew there was a theory about opposites attracting, but when you saw it in action, it just didn’t work the way they said it would.
Frank’s chill vibe didn’t calm Melanie: it irritated her.
Her obsession with work bothered him and he constantly tried to get her to slow down, which also irritated her.
By the time Katie met them, several years into their marriage, they seemed at odds with each other in every way.
‘Jamie prefers to have a beer and watch sport than go to gigs. I’m lucky to have you to go with,’ Katie said to Frank, kissing his cheek.
Isla came back out for an encore. Katie and Frank clinked glasses, hers full of wine, his sparkling water, and sang along to Isla’s most famous hit – ‘I Want It All’.
Katie was having a blast. She felt young and cool and edgy, not a boring suburban mum. This was the crazy, fun Katie who had partied hard in her teens and twenties. She let the music wash over her as she danced. God, she felt so alive!
At the after-party, Frank’s music friends told her she was hot and fun, and she was getting lots of attention, which she lapped up happily. This was a million miles away from school lunches and spellings. She’d forgotten how much she loved gigs, and she was having an absolute ball.
Katie went to the bar and ordered shots. She came back with a tray of J?germeister glasses for the table.
Frank raised an eyebrow. ‘Whoa, Katie, are you sure you need these? You’ll have the kids waking you early.’
‘Hell, yes!’ she shouted, over the music.
The other people in their group cheered and they all threw back the shots and slammed their glasses down, laughing. Everyone except Frank.
Some guy called Denver bought another round of shots, and then another … Katie was throwing shots back, whooping and feeling high on life. She felt greedy for everything, all of this.
She threw her arms around Frank. ‘You are my favourite brother-in-law in the world.’
He laughed. ‘And you’re my favourite sister-in-law.’
‘To be fair, the competition is not high,’ Katie slurred.
They weren’t the type of in-laws to have deep-and-meaningful chats.
There was an awful lot never spoken about in the Fitzroy family, and Katie had always gone along with that, but now, emboldened by alcohol, she asked, ‘How do you stand Ross, seriously, Frank? He’s driving Jamie nuts. ’
Frank put his glass of water down. ‘You must remember, Ross has had a tough time. He’s just a product of his childhood.
When Mum and Thomas broke up, Ross was pretty much abandoned by his dad, who moved to France to start a new life.
Meanwhile, Mum was falling in love with her second husband, my dad Patrick – I wish you’d got to meet him – and there wasn’t much room for Ross in that set-up.
It was really hard for him. Mum, me, Jamie and Patrick were a little family unit, a foursome, and Ross was the outsider, the fifth member who never really fitted in.
He was half-brother to us and stepson to Dad.
Mum tried, in her own unique way, to make him feel included whenever he was home from boarding school, but he resented her.
Ross blamed my dad for the break-up of his parents’ marriage, even though it was long over before Mum met Patrick.
By the time Ross was sent to boarding school, Mum was already pregnant. ’
‘With you.’ Katie pointed to Frank.
‘Yes. Mum thought sending Ross to boarding school would be good for him. She reckoned it would be easier for him to be with friends rather than have to deal with a new stepdad and a new sibling. Also, let’s be honest, it was convenient.
Mum could focus on her career, her new husband and her new life without her son glaring at her and blaming her for everything.
I was born, and then Jamie arrived, so when Ross came to stay with us during the holidays he saw a happy family unit that he was not part of.
I’m sure it hurt like hell. Jamie and I adored him and looked up to him, but he resented us too.
I get it. He never got to experience what we had – a happy home life.
I think underneath it all he still resents Mum hugely, and I do understand that. ’
‘I didn’t have a happy home life either, but I didn’t become bitter and entitled and take it out on other people,’ Katie said.
Frank sighed. ‘I think he felt marginalized, but when he grew up and met Amanda and began to find happiness in life, he started coming around to see us more. We were beginning to get to know him better, but then the car crash happened and Dad died. Mum never forgave herself for letting Dad drive that day, and on top of all the grief and guilt she felt, she also had to look after me because my injuries were pretty bad. To be fair to Mum, she can be hard and tough but she’s had a difficult time.
Her life has been complicated. In one day she lost her husband and almost lost me.
Imagine the stress. She is kind of remarkable to have come through it all in one piece.
But unfortunately for Ross he got shut out again as Mum had to focus on nursing me and looking after Jamie, who was only fourteen and broken-hearted.
There was very little room left for Ross.
He barely saw Mum for the first two years after the accident.
It must have been awful for him. Jamie and I were locked in our own grief, but we probably should have made more of an effort with him. ’
Katie nearly choked on her drink. ‘You were fighting for your life, Frank, plus dealing with the trauma of being in the car when your father died, and Jamie was a fourteen-year-old kid who’d lost his dad.’
‘I know, but I’ve dealt with my anger and grief through years of therapy. Ross has never faced his truth.’
‘Don’t go all hippie-dippy on me. You chose to deal with your grief and your trauma. Ross has chosen not to and just to be an arsehole instead.’
‘Ah, now, that’s harsh.’
Katie poked Frank in the chest. ‘No, it isn’t. I know you have a big heart and I know you try to love and respect everyone, but come on, Frank, you have to admit your brother can be a total dickhead.’
Frank laughed. ‘He can be difficult at times, but I understand why. That’s the key. When you understand why someone behaves the way they do, it helps you to accept them. Ross is a decent person underneath.’
Katie snorted. ‘I bet Melanie doesn’t think so.’
‘Melanie would have a different viewpoint, all right.’ Frank grinned.
‘I must say, you’re amazing, Frank. To have gone through what you went through at only eighteen and to be so … well … normal and lovely is incredible.’
Frank smiled sheepishly. ‘Not everyone thinks I’m normal, per se , but thanks.
Like I said, I’ve had a lot of therapy and I’ve sought out ways of healing through yoga and meditation.
I had a lot of time lying in hospital to think about things and I read a lot about healing and recovery.
Even at eighteen, I knew I couldn’t do anything about the scars all over my body from the operations, but I could heal the internal ones. ’
Katie hugged him again. ‘I think you’re brilliant. In my teens I healed my grief through alcohol and hash. I probably should have chosen yoga.’ She giggled. ‘On that note, time for more shots!’