11. Katie
Katie sat down on Toby’s bed. He looked adorable in his navy pyjamas with fire engines all over them. Beside them, Lucy was lying on top of her bed in her pale-blue pyjamas with white clouds, reading a book.
‘Mummy, will you read me a story?’ Toby asked.
‘Why don’t we get Lucy to do it?’ Katie tried to fudge it.
‘No, Mummy, I want you to do it. Lucy reads too fast and she gets grumpy when I ask her to slow down.’
‘You want a snail to read to you,’ Lucy piped up from behind her copy of James and the Giant Peach . ‘When I was your age I read my own books to myself. I didn’t need anyone to read to me. You’re a baby, Toby.’
‘I am NOT a baby!’ Toby roared.
‘Hey.’ Katie frowned. ‘Toby is not a baby, and just because you are an advanced reader doesn’t mean you have to be nasty to your brother. Toby’s a great boy.’
‘Yes, I is.’ Toby punched himself in the chest.
‘Am.’ Lucy sniggered.
‘Lucy!’ Katie warned.
‘Mummy, will you read me Hairy Maclary ?’ Toby said.
Damn, she hated that bloody book. It had all these character names that had lots of letters and were difficult to pronounce.
Katie’s palms were beginning to sweat. She didn’t want to read in front of Lucy. She knew she’d make mistakes and her daughter would notice.
‘Mummy!’ Toby shoved the book into his mother’s hands. Katie began reading slowly to Toby.
Lucy snorted. ‘It’s Schnitzel von Krumm, not Sknizel von Rum – you’re reading it all wrong.’
As much as Katie loved that Lucy was bright and precocious, sometimes she really wished she was less so.
‘It’s a silly made-up name, it doesn’t matter.’ Katie tried not to sound too defensive.
‘Miss Kerrigan says pronouncing words correctly is very important. Otherwise you’ll never learn to read properly.’
Well, I didn’t, and I don’t, and I’m embarrassed, and I wish you would shut up , Katie wanted to scream. Her face felt hot.
‘It’s okay, Mummy, go on. I don’t care about stupid old Schnitzel von Krumm.’ Toby patted her arm.
Katie looked at Toby’s big, brown, trusting, loving eyes and wanted to cry.
She felt as if she was back in school. Those dreaded moments when she was asked to read aloud and how she’d always try to make up an excuse to get out of it – need the bathroom urgently, sore throat, coughing fit.
Once, she’d even pretended to faint. She’d do anything to avoid it, and then, as she got older, she became the class clown.
She’d pretended not to care about school, mainly because she’d never been able to keep up, and by the time she’d realized she was behind everyone in reading, it was too late.
She was too ashamed to admit it. Leaving school and becoming a hairdresser was her way out.
She’d told Jamie she found books and reading boring because she never wanted him to know how bad she was at it.
Katie read on, but stumbled over several words. She could feel her throat constricting. ‘Hey, you know what? My throat is really sore. How about we listen to the audiobook instead?’
‘But I like when you read, Mummy, I like your voice.’
‘I think the actress who reads the books has a lovely clear voice,’ Lucy said.
‘Yes, me too. Let’s put it on.’
Toby’s face fell. ‘Okay, Mummy, if you want to. Will you stay and snuggle with me?’
Katie held him close and breathed in the scent of his freshly shampooed hair. ‘Of course I will. I’m just going to pop down and get a drink of water for my throat.’
Katie left Toby with her phone and the audiobook of Hairy Maclary and went downstairs to the kitchen, where she poured herself a large drink.
The wine eased her shame and embarrassment.
How was she going to manage the kids going forward?
How could she help them with their homework?
Lucy had already stopped asking her to read the stories and essays she wrote for school.
Instead, her daughter waited for Jamie to come home or, even more humiliating, she called Nancy and read them out to her over the phone, asking Granny for her wise advice.
Katie was gulping a second glass of wine when she heard Jamie coming in. He was talking to someone. He must be on the phone … Then she heard Nancy’s voice.
Oh, God, no! Not Nancy, not here, not now.
The kitchen was a mess. She hadn’t had time to tidy up properly after dinner because it was hair-washing night.
She’d made pancakes for the kids for dessert and they’d all got a bit carried away flipping them.
They’d had a competition to see who could flip them the highest. There were bits of pancake all over the hob and scattered across the floor.
Katie threw the frying pan and the dirty dishes into the sink and grabbed a dishcloth to try to wipe the worst of the mess off the hob before they entered the kitchen. But the door flung open and Jamie wheeled in his mother. He mouthed, ‘Sorry,’ over Nancy’s shoulder.
‘Hi!’ Katie was very glad she’d had the wine to settle her nerves and help deal with her mother-in-law.
As if on cue, Nancy looked around the kitchen, wrinkling her nose as she took in the chaos – school bags, uniforms, shoes, trainers, the cooking mess and then, to top it all off, a huge pile of laundry in the middle of the kitchen table.
‘My goodness, has a bomb been detonated in here?’ Nancy asked.
Katie saw Jamie flinch. She felt bad. The place did look awful.
‘We made pancakes and it all got a bit crazy. Here, let me make some space for you.’ Katie shoved the laundry to one end of the table, then pushed aside two chairs to make space for Nancy’s wheelchair. Jamie grabbed a cloth and wiped the table free of crumbs, jam and pancake bits.
Nancy was, as always, immaculately dressed, in one of her perfectly tailored trouser suits and a pussy-bow cream blouse. Katie felt like a hobo in her cosy leggings and oversized hoodie, which were covered with flour and splodges of jam.
‘Would you like a drink, Nancy? Glass of wine?’
‘No, thank you. A glass of sparkling water, please.’
Katie didn’t have any sparkling water. Who had sparkling bloody water knocking around the house? ‘Will tap water do?’ she asked.
Nancy sighed. ‘Fine.’
No clean glasses. Katie pulled out the only clean mug she could find. She had bought it for Jamie last year and it said on it My husband is hotter than my coffee .
Nancy held it, looking as if she was sucking lemons.
Jamie grinned and nodded at the mug. ‘Ain’t that the truth!’
Katie could have kissed him. Jamie always had her back and she loved him for that.
‘Where is Lucy?’ Nancy asked. ‘I’ve come to give her some books, three classics.’
‘In bed, reading. I’ll call the kids now to say hello to you.’
‘Just Lucy. Let Toby sleep.’
‘I think he’s still awake, he’s listening to an audiobook.’
Nancy tutted. ‘Children should be reading books at his age, not listening to them. He needs to practise his visual reading and exercise that muscle.’
‘Granny! I knew I heard your voice.’ Lucy ran over to Nancy and hugged her.
Nancy actually smiled and hugged her back. ‘Hello, darling girl, how are you?’
‘Good. I’ve almost finished James and the Giant Peach , but I think it’s a bit babyish for me.’
‘I agree.’ Nancy patted Lucy’s cheek. ‘I’ve brought you three new books that I want you to read and then review for me.’
Lucy’s eyes lit up. ‘Thank you, Granny!’ Lucy picked up the books and read the titles. ‘ The Secret Garden , Charlotte’s Web , Goodnight Mister Tom . Wow.’
‘How did you do in your English essay? What mark did the teacher give you?’
‘An A, Granny,’ Lucy said proudly. ‘She said it was the best essay she’d ever read by a nine-year-old.’
‘You clever girl!’ Nancy clapped her hands.
Their bond was undeniable. They were connected as if by an invisible thread. Jamie leant towards Katie and whispered, ‘I’ve never seen Mum like this with anyone. It’s brilliant. Lucy’s amazing.’ His eyes shone with pride.
‘Wine, please.’ Katie motioned for Jamie to pour her a glass. She did not share his delight in Nancy favouring their child. She felt pressured and unnerved by it. Sometimes she felt as if Nancy was pulling Lucy away from her. Lucy talked to Nancy almost every day. They had their own little bubble.
Turning to Katie and Jamie, who were sipping their wine, Nancy said, ‘You need to get on to the school and talk to Lucy’s teacher.
She needs to understand that she has an exceptionally bright child in her class and that Lucy should be given extra work and stretched so she doesn’t get bored.
In fact, I’d say she could easily skip to the year ahead. ’
Lucy swivelled to face Katie. ‘Could I, Mummy? Am I really that clever?’ Then she frowned. ‘But what about Sorcha and Ingrid?’
Katie held up her hand. ‘Hold on, Nancy. Lucy is not skipping any year. She is happy in school and thriving. She has a nice bunch of pals in her class too.’
‘She needs to be stimulated more.’
‘She also needs to play sport and do drama and lots of things outside academics.’
‘Nonsense. Lucy doesn’t like sports. I didn’t either. They are a waste of time, as is drama. What rubbish. Lucy has a bright, curious, intellectual brain and it is our job to nurture and foster that.’
What did she mean, our job ? Since when was she Lucy’s parent? Since when did Nancy decide how Katie and Jamie raised their daughter? And who the hell was she to dictate what they did with and for Lucy? She was hardly the poster woman for motherhood.
Katie put down her empty wine glass. ‘Lucy is perfectly content in school and we will not be making any changes.’
‘But we both appreciate how much you encourage her reading, Mum,’ Jamie added.
Nancy pursed her lips. ‘Sometimes parents who don’t value education highly enough miss out on enabling their children to reach their highest goals.’
The bitch. The snide, patronizing bitch. Katie’s blood was boiling.
‘Steady,’ Jamie whispered, laying a hand on his wife’s arm. Turning to his daughter he said, ‘Time for bed, Lucy Goosy. Come on, let’s go and tuck Toby in too.’
‘ Daaaad , that’s a baby name,’ Lucy said.
‘You’ll always be my Lucy Goosy.’ Jamie kissed her head and Lucy grinned.
Playfully nudging her father aside, Lucy bent to hug Nancy. ‘Night, Granny, thank you soooooo much for the books. I love you.’
‘I love you too, my little pet.’
Katie couldn’t remember the last time Lucy had told her she loved her.
It had been a while. Maybe Katie should spend more one-on-one time with her.
She’d have to think of something they could do together, but all Lucy ever wanted to do was read or go to the library or a bookshop, which, frankly, was Katie’s idea of hell.
She always felt as if the books were shouting at her: You’ve never read us, you’re stupid, you’re thick, you mispronounce and misspell, you didn’t even finish school .
She knew it was mad, but that was how she felt.
‘Piggyback, Dad?’
‘Of course.’
Lucy hopped onto Jamie’s back and he bounced her around as they left the kitchen. Katie loved seeing her daughter giggling like the young girl she was.
She prayed Jamie wouldn’t take too long. She poured herself another glass of wine.
‘So, uhm, how are things in the agency with Ross and all?’ she asked as she busied herself stacking the dishwasher.
She needed something to do to make it all less awkward.
While she didn’t care what Nancy thought of her as a person, she did care what she thought of her as a mother.
Those comments about not valuing education had cut deep.
She would have liked to smash a plate over the old witch’s head.
‘Ross is a great asset. He’s bringing a wealth of experience from his time in London. He just needs to find his place in the agency.’
‘And how is Theo settling in? Not easy for him.’
Nancy made a dismissive sound. ‘He needs a firm hand. Amanda fusses over him far too much.’
Right. So I don’t do enough for Lucy, but Amanda does too much for Theo. Is Melanie the perfect mother, then? ‘He’s only seventeen. He just needs time to find his feet.’
‘Teenagers these days are far too mollycoddled. They’ve no resilience.
They need to get on with things and stop constantly navel-gazing, banging on about anxiety and depression.
Christ, I lost my husband and almost my son.
I had to get up and get on with it. I had to earn money, support the family and help poor Frank to recover.
What Frank experienced was real trauma. Moving school is an inconvenience, not a trauma. ’
While she had a point, Theo hadn’t just moved school, he had moved country too. But Katie wasn’t getting into that with Nancy now.
‘How are you feeling? Do you know when you’ll get the cast off?’
‘Thank God I’m due to be rid of it in two weeks. Then I can start physio and get back on my feet.’
‘That’s good news. It must be such a help to have Amanda there to cook and help look after you.’
Nancy shrugged. ‘To be honest, I hate having people living with me. I’m used to having my own space and a peaceful, quiet house.
Amanda is always fussing about. I don’t particularly like her cooking either.
But she is helpful in some ways, given that this awful cast has made me very immobile.
I can’t wait to get it off. It’s impossible to sleep. ’
Katie almost felt sorry for her mother-in-law.
It couldn’t be easy being seventy-six, stuck in a wheelchair and suddenly sharing your space with three people you’d never spent that much time with before.
‘Would you like me to come over and give you a blow-dry tomorrow? I’m finished at twelve, so I have an hour before pick-up,’ she offered.
Nancy picked up her phone and flicked through her calendar. ‘No. I’ve back-to-back meetings tomorrow. We’re not all part-time working women.’
Bitch! All sympathy was erased. Katie wanted to turn her wheelchair around and shove her out of the door.
She went to pour herself more wine, but the bottle was empty. Where the hell was Jamie?