Milán
Jordan is sitting on the windowsill in the laser tag place. The moment Rory and I step inside, he’s already smiling.
Theo sprints out from behind the corner a second after. He stops right in front of Rory. Hesitates. There’s some kind of palpable, nervous energy to him today.
“Hi!” he says loudly, eyes on Rory the whole time. “Hi!”
“Hey,” Rory says, much more subdued.
“Thank you!” Theo blurts. “Thank you.”
Rory looks down at his hands, where he’s still holding the gift bag with the birthday present, and holds it out. “Here?”
It’s Theo’s turn to look between the bag and Rory. “No. But… You already got me a gift. You gave me Dog.”
Rory’s eyes fly to Jordan.
“He discovered his reflection on the toaster, and now he likes to sit in front of it and bark.” Jordan chuckles softly. “But we love him anyway.”
“Come on. We’re making up teams right now. Do you… I thought maybe you’d want to be on mine?” Theo hovers and twitches and waits.
Rory hesitates and fidgets and doubts.
“Yeah,” he finally says softly, almost like he doesn’t think he’s allowed to do this. “Yeah, we can be a team.”
With one quick look in my direction and my unnecessary nod of encouragement, he’s off.
“I think that’s everybody now,” Jordan says, grinning at me. “What’s your plan for the day now that you’re free of kid-related responsibilities?”
I shrug. “Nothing much.”
Nothing at all.
“You want any help?” I ask.
“You didn’t even let me start to lure you into that trap. Just walked right in yourself. That’s an impressive level of ignorance.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Is that a ‘yes, thank you, you’re the absolute best person in the world, Milán, and I’m forever grateful’?”
“Too late for that. You already offered. Just a suggestion, if you ever want to extort compliments out of people, don’t offer help yourself. Guilt the others into asking for it.”
We grin at each other.
“There’s not that much to do here, to be honest. Just have to make sure they sort out their inevitable arguments with words and not fists, then feed them pizza and ice cream after. Your most difficult task will be to keep me entertained for the next three hours.”
“Because otherwise you’ll start throwing tantrums?”
“You never know.”
My smile stretches wider.
“I guess we’ll see if I’m up to the task, then.”
We’re sitting on the front steps of Jordan’s house later that evening. It’s cold enough that I’m freezing my ass off, but I don’t say anything, and he doesn’t make a move to leave. Theo and Rory took Dog for his evening walk.
I still don’t understand the whole thing with Rory and Dog.
He clearly loves Dog. He was practically rolling around in the hallway with him the moment we stepped into the house.
Dog went crazy, licking Rory’s face and jumping around like in one of those tearjerker videos where a soldier comes home to their pet after eight months of deployment.
Now he, Theo, and Dog are in the park, and have been for the last hour and a half, which doesn’t exactly scream “I don’t want a dog.”
“How’s Dog?” I ask. “For real. I almost feel like I didn’t give you any choice but to take him.”
“I’m perfectly capable of saying no.” Jordan gives me a small smile.
His eyes go to the spot on the street where Theo, Rory, and Dog disappeared around the corner a while ago.
“I think he’ll like living with us. He clearly likes having people around, and there’s always somebody here.
When I’m at work and Theo is at school, he’ll hang out with Dad in his workshop.
Otherwise he’s been glued to Theo’s side.
All the treats he’s been sneaking him help.
” He gives me a dry look, and we both smile before Jordan sobers.
“He keeps waiting at the door every now and then. For Rory.”
I clutch the back of my neck and blow out a breath before I shake my head. “Every time I think we’re getting somewhere, he throws me a curveball and locks up again.”
I can feel Jordan’s gaze on the side of my face.
“Wouldn’t it be cool if I had some really profound words of wisdom right about now?” he says after a bit.
I snort out a laugh. “So cool.”
“Alas, I have absolutely nothing for you. How disappointed are you in me right now?”
I drop my head back and grin at the sky. “So disappointed.”
My life is messier than ever before, but it doesn’t feel it. It’s almost as if the mess is a worthwhile tradeoff.
You’re a disaster, but here, have some Jordan in your life.
I’ll take that deal. No hesitation.
I’ve never been one to appreciate calm. Anything but that. Calm leaves too much room for thinking. I’ve built my life around chasing excitement for that very reason.
I look at Jordan. The rays of the setting sun that have managed to filter through the rows of houses all around us land straight on him, painting him golden.
Something simmers in my belly. A realization on low boil, bubbles popping and jumping around.
I blink.
My heart starts beating faster.
Faster still.
He turns to look at me and smiles, and the feeling multiplies into a waterfall of simmering golden bubbles that fill my insides.
Not lust.
A crush.
Lust was there already. I’ve acknowledged it. Easy to handle and easy to ignore.
Lust is a bodily function.
A crush is much worse. A crush is about feelings. I don’t want any of that.
And anyway… What the fuck? This is not supposed to be happening. We’re friends, he’s hot, and I will admit that under any other circumstance, I’d put in every effort to get him into bed.
It’s what I should be thinking about now, too.
Instead, I’m thinking about talking to him, about every- and anything. I think about him laughing. I think about waiting to see him and the empty spaces in between that stretch impossibly wide.
I think about smiling goofily at getting a text from him. Dozing off on the couch. Watching a movie.
I think about my fingers in his hair and my lips on his. Pressing kisses to the pulse point of his neck. The feel of—
I slam my eyes shut, and my face heats while I try to put a stop to the torrent of images.
When the fuck did I travel back in time and become a middle schooler again?
I push myself to my feet so quickly that Jordan jerks in surprise and snaps his head toward me, staring at me with wide eyes, so calm and unaware of my inner turmoil.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
I make myself glance at my watch.
“It’s getting late. School night, you know?”
“Look at you. Becoming all responsible.”
I make myself laugh. “It’s self-preservation mostly. Waking up a sleep deprived teenager?” I let out a theatrical shudder.
He holds my gaze for a few seconds, smile wide and luminous in the twilight, but at the sound of barking, he turns away.
“There they are.”
Rory is holding Dog’s leash and smiling at Theo. It’s small, but it’s there.
Rory hands Dog’s leash to Theo when they reach us, and Dog looks between the two of them, a dopey expression of adoration on his face.
“Ready to go?” I ask Rory.
He nods. “Mhm.”
I glance at Jordan again because I can’t help myself. It’s as if everything I’ve ever associated with goodness and kindness is personified in him.
My heart beats in my throat.
Not pleasantly. This is sudden red lights and flashing letters that make up the word danger.
I know myself. If there’s one thing I’m not good at, it’s resisting temptation. When I want something, I take it, prices and consequences be damned.
For the first time in my life, the stakes are too high to just blithely ignore them.
I almost start to laugh.
Well, fuck me.
This should make things interesting.
Rory and I wave our goodbyes and turn to leave.
On the street corner, I glance over my shoulder.
Jordan is still outside, standing on the sidewalk, head tilted up, eyes on the sky, a small smile on his face.
My chest jolts savagely.
Fuck.
Me.