Chapter Twenty-five
Karina
It was pouring outside when I woke up, and so my room was filled with humidity. Freaking Georgia and its unpredictable weather. Kael’s body was practically a heater, and the more it rained, the warmer he grew. I mentally scanned my body, which felt so much better than it had when I went to sleep. I was still a little tired, but my mind felt so much clearer than it had been in so long. Maybe all I’d needed was a good night’s sleep?
Kael’s arm was tight around my waist, his breath warm against the back of my ear. I wondered how I’d ever slept a night without him and what would happen if I ever had to again. I hated the way my mind always went to the worst-case scenario instead of to the next step and the immediate future. I couldn’t seem to enjoy a moment for too long without thinking of its expiration. My eyes shut, I counted backward slowly from one hundred to calm my thoughts and slow my breath before Kael woke up midpanic. I wanted him to sleep soundly, not be disrupted by my mental gymnastics.
I kept having to restart the countdown, but I finally began to zone out around fifty-four and dozed back off to sleep. This time when I woke up, Kael was no longer wrapped around me. I sat up to look for him, but he wasn’t in my room. I made sure I had enough clothes on to leave the room if Elodie and my brother were here, which was growing a bit tiresome. Not them being here, I was happy to help them, but that I never knew when I would have the house to myself again, and I felt selfish even entertaining the idea, but sometimes I did miss my alone time.
I made my way into the living room and checked the clock on the wall. It said midnight, which couldn’t be true given the sun was out. When I looked out the window, there was a break in the rain and the sun was shining. But that only meant the rain would show up again soon. Kael wasn’t there either. I instantly panicked, struggling with the way I was depending on him so much lately. My attachment to him was alarming, and according to the internet, I had an anxious-avoidant attachment style. On the one hand, I was clingy and insecure, not fully trusting but desperate for attachment and on the other, I was hyperindependent and not willing to fully merge my life with another person’s.
I grabbed my phone from the couch and called him. His voice was close by when he picked up. His silhouette appeared in front of my screen door, and he walked through.
“You okay?” He assessed me, a touch of worry lifting his scarred brow.
“I didn’t know where you were.”
“Working on your birthday gift during the break in the rain.” He craned his neck toward the door and porch.
Ah, my most favorite and the most thoughtful gift I’d ever received: a deck and a porch swing, built by Kael Martin.
“I didn’t want you to think I’d forgotten about it, but between the rain and all the drama, it’s taking longer than expected. The rain’s supposed to stay at bay for another three hours or so, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to keep working. I can finish the base of the deck at least, since all the wood is cut and measured.” He sounded excited, and I sure as hell couldn’t wait to see it finished. On top of that, I had to go into Mali’s soon.
“I have to work at some point anyway, so you can take all the time you need. My shift is about five hours long—I have two regulars, one new client, and space for a walk-in. If there isn’t one, I can leave after three treatments.”
“Great. I’ll get back to work then, and you get yourself ready. There’s food in the oven if you have time to take a few bites at least. And coffee in the pot.”
“But you don’t drink coffee,” I noted.
He smiled, dazzling as ever. “You do.”
I moved to wrap my arms around his waist, and he made a dramatic sound like I was squeezing all the air out of his lungs.
“I’ll miss you,” I told him, leaning on my toes to kiss him.
He bent his head down to give me an achingly slow, luxurious, and tempting kiss. I slid my tongue between his parted lips and he gently gripped my hair behind my neck, tugging. My body prickled with desire.
“If you want to make it on time to work, I wouldn’t do that,” he warned, pulling away from the kiss.
I blinked, mesmerized by the seductive tone of his threat. I couldn’t afford to be late today—Stewart was coming in for her last treatment before her big move to Hawaii with her wife.
“Rain check?” I asked, sucking at the inside corner of his full lips.
“Always.” He pulled away, kissing my cheek, my chin, my forehead, then lifted my hand and kissed each finger.
“I’ll be here when you get back. Now go eat and down some caffeine, baby.” He swatted my ass as I skipped away, high off the adrenaline rush he gave me and from hearing him call me baby.
I went into the kitchen and got the food out of the oven. Grabbing a spoon, I dug into the dish. It smelled familiar, but I hadn’t had it at Dory’s. From the pan it was in, though, I could tell it’d come from her. It tasted like the best version of a cinnamon roll mixed with bread pudding, and had big salty chunks of pecans throughout. It was so, so good. I grabbed a cup of coffee and felt creative when I dunked the bread into the coffee. Oh my god, was it delicious.
An eye on the clock told me I had about three minutes until I needed to splash water on my face and brush my teeth. My hair was in a braid that was coming loose, but it would make it through my shift. Kael making it possible for me to have my own porch swing made me so energized, so excited for the day. I wished all days started off so well.
I brushed my teeth and rinsed my face, putting a thin layer of moisturizer then sunscreen on, and was done with my routine for the morning and went to my room to put on my work clothes. I opted for a pale-purple work set, even though I usually wore black. Saying goodbye to Kael on the porch felt like we were playing house again. He was here more than he wasn’t lately, and I kept coming back to the fact that I found myself depending on him more with each thoughtful gesture, each action that made my day a bit better, a bit easier.
When I got to work, my mood was much better than the day before. I had a smile on my face and a little pep in my step. I was a bit worried yesterday that I was getting sick or something, but I’d just needed a break, mentally and physically. And sleep and warm food.
“You’re better today.” Mali echoed my thoughts as she pulled one side of the curtain to my workroom open.
I nodded, lighting my candles. Since it was fall, I was using both vanilla pumpkin and cozy fireside scents. The sweetness of the one and the earthiness of the other blended together perfectly.
“Good. I don’t want to worry about you too. You’re the stable one here.” She smiled at me while running her index finger over my counter to make sure it was clean. Of course, it was.
I laughed, knowing that there weren’t any clients there yet. “I’m the stable one? We’re all screwed then.”
“We’re all screwed anyway. Taxes are up, wages are down, the economy is shit. People can barely feed a family of four anymore.” She used my small mirror on the counter to mess with her eyelashes. “Enough small talk, are you two going to keep calling out of work? My husband is taking me on a cruise in two weeks and I need someone to stand in as the manager while I’m gone.”
Ah, so the vacation fever has set in, that was why she was more dressed up and cheery than usual. A vacation . . . I couldn’t wait for the day when I could take a vacation that I paid for myself. Maybe Mexico or Barcelona? That day was a long way away, but a girl could dream.
“Are you asking me?” I brought myself out of the daydream of a beach chair, a book, and no responsibilities for a solid week.
“Yes. And if you don’t burn down or remodel the place while I’m gone, maybe you can take over some of my workload. As a manager.”
I couldn’t hide my surprise. “Really?” I nearly shrieked. I went to hug her but she backed away, swatting at me in true Mali fashion.
“Don’t get too excited. Nothing is happening until I see what you do while I’m gone, but I can’t work forever.”
I poked a finger toward her cheek but knew better than to touch it. “And you trust me,” I teased her in a singsong voice.
She shook her head. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything!” She wagged her hand in annoyance as she left my workroom.
I was smiling ear to ear. A manager? That would mean more hours, a raise, even if it wasn’t much, and more control over the spa and the chance to make it better and busier than it was now. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, but who was I kidding? Of course, I grabbed my phone and texted Kael, telling him that I might be getting a promotion. My heart was beating fast as I moved around my room, waiting for my client to come. Stewart was right on time, and she hugged me as soon as she saw me.
“I can’t believe this is my last time seeing you,” I told her as we pulled away from the embrace.
“I’m going to miss you and our chats here. You know more about me than my therapist does.” She smiled, her unique green eyes shining with kindness.
I led her back to my space and gave her time to get situated on the table. I thought back to the first time I ever had her as a client and how we’d immediately clicked even though I’d been having the worst day ever. I had just started working here and I’d been late—my brother had gotten in trouble at our uncle’s and my dad wouldn’t stop calling me to complain. I’d been worried sick for Austin and of course, he hadn’t answered my calls. Stewart had been so empathetic; she could immediately tell that I was off, but that I wouldn’t want to say so or let it affect my job.
So I’d held my own problems in, suffering in silence, as usual. She’d confided in me about her life, not all at once, but in a slow and intimate conversation that had distracted me from my crappy day. She’d been so generous emotionally and we’d had a great session. Stewart had booked her next appointment on the spot, given me a huge tip, and made me feel so much less anxiety over whether I would make a good therapist or not. Over the last year we’d bonded, and though I’d kept it as professional as I could, I considered her to be someone I truly cared about. I was so happy for her and her wife and their new life in Hawaii, but I would miss her.
After her treatment, she gave me another hug and another too-high tip, but refused to take it back when I refused it. I wished her well and off she went. The provisional lifespan of military friendships and relationships was not something I would ever get used to. I never planned on entangling myself with the enlisted or their families, but plans were just that, and I’d clearly failed. I could not be more entangled than I was.
My shift continued to go well and by the time I finally looked at the clock, it was time for me to go. I tidied up my space and put a load of towels in the washer to make Elodie’s shift a bit easier for her. I wrote a little note for her and left it on her cabinet with a small candle from my room that she had complimented a few days ago. She walked in the back door as I was leaving, but she either didn’t see me or was ignoring me. Since she had no reason to ignore me, I brushed it off and went on my way, eager to get home, hoping Kael was there waiting for me.
He was still outside working on the deck. A tremendous amount of work had been done in a short time. I looked for Austin, assuming he had been helping, but only Kael was there, on his knees, hammering one piece of wood to another to cover my concrete steps.
“Did you see Elodie?” I asked as I approached him.
He turned to me, wiping his brow with the bottom of his T-shirt. It wasn’t remotely hot outside to me, but I hadn’t been working on a deck for hours.
“Yeah, but she’s upset with me, so she didn’t talk to me.”
“Why would Elodie be upset with you?” I asked. Elodie had a soft spot for Kael, taking his side even over mine sometimes.
Kael looked away from me and stood. “Are you sure you want to know?”
“Do you know me?” I asked, wondering what on earth they could be fighting about.
“I gave your brother a hard time over something, and was wrong about it.”
“Don’t be cryptic. What did you give him a hard time over?”
Kael sighed and sat down at the beginning of my sidewalk. The grass was still wet from the on-and-off rain, but the sun had dried the concrete. “I heard him talking on the phone with someone about money and I accused him of using.”
My scalp prickled. “Why did you assume he’s using just because he was talking about money?”
I knew why, and couldn’t say I wouldn’t think the same, but Kael had always been so hard on my brother and quick to accuse him of being on drugs. Whether he was right sometimes or not, it pissed me off. My dad once told me that if my brother murdered someone, I would make the best defense for him even if I caught him with the gun in his hand. I liked to think he was wrong, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Because of his history, I guess. I feel like shit over it and am going to apologize. I haven’t seen him, though.”
“Where is he? It’s not like he has many places to go these days,” I said, pulling my phone out to text Austin.
“Not sure. Maybe he’s at mine.” As he finished the sentence, his eyes went wide and his nostrils flared.
He reached for his phone as it vibrated in his pocket. Gloria’s name and photo popped up on the screen. He answered instantaneously. Less than thirty seconds later, we were in his truck, driving way over the speed limit to get to Kael’s place. I kept asking Kael what was going on but he was dead silent, intent on getting there as fast as possible. I was panicking. Was my brother really on drugs? Did he overdose with Mendoza there? Was Mendoza drunk and out of control and had Austin called Gloria? None of the scenarios made much sense, and each one made me more nauseated than the last.
“I know you won’t, but I really wish you would stay in the truck,” Kael told me as we pulled up, his voice tight.
Like always, I climbed out of the truck, and noted Mendoza’s van parked on the street. Was Gloria here? I was about to text her when I heard shouting coming from inside. Kael moved faster than my eyes or feet could follow. When I got to the front door, it was locked.
That bastard.
My brother’s voice mixed with another man’s, which I didn’t recognize. I made my way to the back of the duplex, hoping to god that the back door was unlocked. It wasn’t. I began to feel helpless, which sent me into rage. I hated feeling helpless more than any other emotion. Kael was doing what he thought was right, but so was I. I pounded on the door as the not-familiar voice clicked in my brain. Phillips. A line of ice water trickled through my veins. I pounded harder.
“Let me in!” I screamed.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that me being there wasn’t going to help a single bit, that it would distract Kael and my brother from whatever the hell was happening inside the house, but I couldn’t help it. I was that idiot in films who never listened and kept adding fuel to the fire. Before I could change my mind and go back to Kael’s truck and hope for the best, the door flew open and Phillips met me eye to eye. He looked like a madman, his front teeth covered in blood. I looked past him to see my brother, panting and holding his waist. Mendoza was propping him up and Kael was standing in the middle of the room with his hands spread out like wings, keeping distance between them.
“Oh, look who joined us. Now the party can really begin,” Phillips said, bloody smile gazing down at me.
A sharp pain ran through my body and I yelped, not realizing that he had grabbed a fistful of my hair and was yanking me farther into the room. Kael’s expression turned murderous, and he flew toward Phillips. I was tossed to the ground, and staggered backward on my hands to get out of the eye of the storm.
“Karina, leave!” my brother spat.
I could barely register what I was seeing—a piece of blue plastic was dangling from his side, and his T-shirt was lifted and covered in blood. A screwdriver. There was a screwdriver hanging out of his side. I could taste bile in my throat as I tried to move closer to him without Kael stopping me or Phillip noticing.
“What the fuck happened? You said you were going to stop this!” Kael shouted, grabbing Phillips by the shirt and lifting his body like he was a rag doll.
“You should have kept him away from me! I was going to leave today to go to my parents’, but he fucking came here to taunt me!”
“I didn’t come to taunt you. I didn’t know you were fucking here!” my brother coughed out.
As I pulled my phone out to call the MPs, Mendoza noticed and silently shook his head at me. So I put my phone away. I crawled closer to where my brother was and stood up. His skin was turning slightly yellow and the area around the puncture was already purple. Dark-red blood seeped down his torso onto the top of his jeans. I swallowed, trying not to vomit.
“You all think you’re so much better than me. You think you can get away with fucking my life up. And you—” Phillips turned his chin toward my brother as Kael slammed him against the wall. “I’m going to fucking kill you. I don’t have anything to lose now,” he threatened.
My brother lunged at him before Mendoza or I could stop him. The room was spinning. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Things like this didn’t happen in reality; blood and death threats were only on the screen.
Mendoza grabbed me by the shoulders, holding me back from trying to get my brother. “Go. Fucking go,” he said in my ear. “Martin or your brother will get killed if you don’t go.”
I froze at his warning, knowing he wouldn’t say that if he didn’t believe it. But as my feet carried me toward the door, I heard Kael groan in pain. Whipping my head around, I tried to keep up with what was playing out in front of me, and was suddenly back in Mendoza’s backyard, Phillips standing there with a gun in his shaking hands.
“Put it down,” Kael warned him, a trinkle of blood running down the side of his mouth. Phillips must have hit him with the weapon. “Put my gun down,” he said again, this time slowly.
“Fuck all of you. You’ve all been planning this. You wanted me to fuck up and get locked away so you can steal my wife and my baby. My whole life.” He began to sob.
I could see his mind splitting in front of my eyes. Paranoia and pain were driving this man into madness, and with each second that passed I could see the humanity leaving him. It was terrifying, and I couldn’t move.
Were we all going to die?
Just like that? I had never feared for my life until now, and it was shockingly not as terrifying as I always thought it would be. The last time Phillips did this, I was so shocked that I couldn’t even consider it. But now, as Phillips turned his gun on me and Kael shoved my brother away from him, I wondered what the news would say.
What my dad would feel.
If my mother would see our faces on the news and wish she would have come back.
I thought of Kael’s mother and sister. The two of them never seeing him again.
That drove me up, toward Phillips.
Kael screamed my name, and everything shifted. Phillips turned the gun on my brother, and I moved toward him. The bullet was fast but so was Mendoza, who dropped to the floor as my brother screamed.