Chapter 24
EDEN
I knew Vaela was talking to me, but for several long minutes, nothing made sense. Her voice was simply background noise competing with the frantic rush of my pulse in my head. All I could do was cling to her hand as we made our way back to Bramble Cottage.
As we reached the boundary of the meadow, the cottage rising up between blackberry bushes, my panic started to fade and my heart settled into a steady hum behind the cage of my ribs. Finally, Vaela’s words started to penetrate the fog in my mind.
“Grady is in good hands.” We continued down the path and she stroked her thumb across the back of my hand. “You’ll see. The kid will be back patrolling in no time. And thankfully there were no other injuries. We got away light, considering what could have happened.”
By the time we stepped onto the porch, guilt ate at me. “I should be at the infirmary,” I said, turning to her, feeling silly, “helping everyone. Gunther might need—”
Vaela clutched my hands between hers. “He has an entire team of burntenders at his disposal. He’s not alone.”
“But—”
“Answer me honestly,” she said, pressing my hands against her chest. I could feel the calm beat of her heart.
“Are you in any state to be working right now?” I opened my mouth, but she pressed on.
“If you were one of your burntenders, would you want them standing at the exam table right now, trying to heal?”
I stared at my trembling fingers where they rested against her. Vaela held them tighter. “I suppose not.”
“You have to agree that you’re in no state to be working,” she said softly. “You can’t even stop shaking.”
I nodded, knowing she was right, but despite how badly I wanted to tuck my body against hers, I pulled back.
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Why do you always do that?”
“What?” I rasped, my throat thick, my head pounding.
“Pull away from me,” she said.
“You know why.” I turned. I already felt wretched enough, I didn’t want to endure that sad look on her face.
“Eden?”
“I can’t keep doing this,” I whispered, feeling tears in the corners of my eyes.
“Doing what?”
I couldn’t keep trying to get this wretched organ in my chest to understand that this—me and Vaela—was a horrible idea! I shoved through the door of the cottage.
Vaela followed me, her footsteps shuffling against the floorboards. They stopped directly behind me, and I could feel the heat of her, hear her breathing.
“Don’t,” I murmured, crossing my arms against my chest. I was trembling all over.
“I know you’re afraid,” Vaela said, reaching out, her fingertips drifting down the back of my arm. A cloud of pine and leather overwhelmed me. “Don’t you think I am, too?”
“Vaela,” I started, turning to face her, but I was unsure of what to say next. I didn’t want to keep pulling away. “I care about you. I do. But I—”
“Don’t let there be a but,” she whispered, catching my face with her hands. Her thumbs ghosted along my cheekbones so gently it could have been the touch of a butterfly. “Caring about someone means knowing fear, knowing you could lose them at any moment, and still doing it anyway.”
“I don’t want to live like that,” I murmured, those tears threading along my lower lids. But I wanted her. I wanted her so badly the ache of it ate through me, clawing at my ribs, leaving scars behind.
“Every time I climb onto Min’s back, some part of me knows it could be our last ride together,” Vaela said.
“But I love her enough to know she’s happier in the air, where she’s free, doing what a dragon is meant to do.
I love her knowing I could lose her. Knowing that I will lose her.
” Her voice grew soft, pleading. “What other choice is there, Eden? To never love at all?”
A sob caught in my throat. Was that to be my life now?
Wanting her.
Wishing for her.
But never crossing that boundary. Never letting myself fall?
“There’s something freeing about facing your fears.” Vaela’s words hummed against my lips. “Trust me. Just…”
“Trust you.” I didn’t want to fight it anymore. I surged forward, my heart beating in my throat as I gave in to the torrent of emotions that rocked through me. Vaela held me in the circle of her arms as I dragged her face down to meet mine, her lips soft, seeking, sure of their movements.
I tilted my head, and the kiss became something more, something desperate as her hands drifted up and down my spine, curling around hips and drifting along my backside. It was like she wanted to be everywhere at once, and I wanted that, too.
I wanted to know the rhythm of her hands on my body.
We stumbled sideways together, knocking our knees against the wooden frame of the bed. I lost my balance, yelping as I dropped onto my back. Vaela grinned down at me like I was something wonderful, and I giggled a little awkwardly, my chest lurching at the adoring look on her face.
“Can I?” she asked, catching the crook of my leg beneath my skirt. Her fingers stroked softly beneath my knee.
I nodded, patting the space next to me as I shifted back on the bed, making room. Vaela sat down, rolling up the fabric of her trouser leg before leaning over to remove her prosthesis.
I sat up, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
She pulled off the prosthetic limb and laid it on the floor with a thunk. “I’d hate to accidentally knock you with it in bed.” Her expression shifted suddenly, eyebrows knitting together. “It doesn’t bother you, does it?”
“No,” I assured her, touching her face with my fingertips, kissing her cheek.
“Of course not. I just want you, exactly as you are.” I slipped my hand past the neckline of her tunic, laying my hand on the bare skin of her chest, feeling her heartbeat flutter against my palm.
“This is the part I’m most concerned with. ”
I wanted her heart. Every bit of it.
She fell into me then, capturing my lips with another kiss, and we tumbled down together, wrapped in such a tight embrace I didn’t know if I was holding her or she was holding me. All I knew was that I burned. Not with fire.
With something stronger.
Something that spilled from my chest, shooting down every limb, filling me to the brim until each touch left me yearning to be undone. We moved together, shifting out of our clothing in a messy dance of tangled bodies and giggles.
“How does this bloody skirt work, woman?” she complained.
“There’s, uh, a button,” I murmured as she nosed at my throat, leaving soft kisses against my neck. I fumbled between us, finding the button, then Vaela helped me shrug the material down my legs.
Her hand moved back up my bare thighs, and I sucked in a sharp, needy breath.
“Can I touch you?” she whispered in my ear. She already was, voice caressing me, leaving goosebumps along my skin, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted more.
“Yes,” I panted, forcing myself to look at her, to find those dazzling gray eyes. And then, with more desperation, “Please.”
She cupped my face, kissing me harder, her tongue tracing the path of my lips. I opened my mouth to her, and she licked into the next kiss. I giggled and gasped at once as her hand trailed over my thigh, tracing light patterns.
“Is this okay?” she whispered.
I nodded against her mouth, slamming my eyes closed as her fingers slid against slick skin. She pulled back slightly, and I whined.
Vaela chuckled, pressing her lips against the curve of my breast before licking my nipple. I felt it pebble, exposed to the air, then she sucked it between her lips.
“Stars,” I murmured as my thoughts scattered and sensations overwhelmed me.
Suddenly Vaela’s hand was moving again, and she found that aching bundle of nerves between my legs. I almost lurched off the bed at her first touch.
“Shh,” she whispered against my temple, leaving a kiss there. “You’re okay.”
I was most definitely not okay. Something was building inside me. Something with the ability to make me explode. I could feel the tension twisting as Vaela stroked me, teasing those nerves with tiny circles, locking onto a rhythm that had me bucking against her hand.
I moaned in delight, already dreading the moment this all ended.
My earlier fears bled from me, nothing but desire left in its wake as my existence narrowed to this one moment in time, to the sensations Vaela was stirring inside me.
Suddenly her fingers curved, hooking just right. The pressure just right.
Next thing I knew, the world spun away from me.
I moaned as stars erupted behind my eyelids and a delicious sense of relief rushed through me.
It was a gentle wave and an uncontrollable torrent all at once.
I didn’t know whether I wanted to move or hold incredibly still, but Vaela made the choice for me, gathering me to her chest as she kissed me fiercely through the bliss.
When the feelings subsided, my muscles relaxed and I eased into the safety of her arms, knowing there was nowhere I’d rather be in all of Cai’amar.
After some time, I surfaced from my daze, my senses clearing. I found Vaela leaving tiny kisses along my hairline as she caressed my arm, my breast. I smiled into her, tilting my head to nibble at the underside of her jaw.
“Hello, you,” she whispered.
“Hi.” I curled my hand over her hip, squeezing. Then I propped myself up on my elbow, tugging her tunic aside to press a kiss to her shoulder, then her collarbone. I popped one button open, exposing more skin, leaving another gentle kiss.
She threaded her hand into my hair. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Shhh,” I whispered, giving her a coy grin as I turned my head to leave a kiss against her hand. “It’s my turn to take care of you now.”
I moved down her body, making note of all the things I wanted to learn.
The list was long. I wanted to know each line on her palm.
Each callus. The arch of her fingers at rest. The curve of her eyelashes.
Where the scar below her ear came from. I wanted to know the feel of the spaces between her ribs and memorize the softness of her breasts.
In contrast, I wanted to know the sharpness of her hipbone.
It felt like there were so many things to know and not nearly enough time.
“What is it?” Vaela said, glancing down at me with a slightly dreamy look.
I licked a path around her navel. “I feel like I could spend a lifetime studying you, and it still wouldn’t be enough to know all the things I want to know.”
“It will be,” she said. And it sounded like a promise.
I shifted further down the bed and paused by her legs, shifting the sheets aside.
“Eden?” She propped herself up and looked down at me with concern. “What are you doing?”
I smiled at her, then bent to press a gentle kiss to her residual limb. I caressed the soft skin there with my fingertips before moving back to the tops of her thighs, teasing a breathy moan from her as I located the center of her pleasure.
“Taking my time,” I whispered as she sucked in a breath, and then I set to work, making a slow, meticulous study of all the things I wanted to know.