15. Colt
Colt
“Colt, I need a second trail hand for an overnight camp tonight.”
Gunnar stops in the barn aisle while he searches for me. When I poke my head out of a stall, he walks over.
“Yes, I can do that.”
“Sorry for the short notice, but your boyfriend keeps us busy. I’m not sure if I’m happy about it.” He laughs.
“He’s doing his job.”
Gunner smiles. “So you didn’t deny the boyfriend bit, I notice.”
“We haven’t labeled it or anything, but that’s probably accurate.”
What else would I call the man who basically lives at my place now and shares my bed every night? He’s certainly not a houseguest.
“You know, when I said you should go for it while he’s here, I didn’t think you’d move the guy in. It’s all or nothing with you, isn’t it?”
I’ve thought about that a lot since the first morning I woke up with Ethan. Maybe it’s a dumb move on my part, but I’ve never felt better about a choice.
“We have so little time, so why not make it count? When his contract is up, I don’t know where he’ll be or if I’ll see him again. I want every second I can with him.” Even if it crushes me when he leaves. I’ll keep that part to myself for now.
“I can understand that.” Gunner bites his lip. “Invite him with you tonight. He hasn’t been on an overnight trip yet, right?”
“No.”
“Call him right now.” Gunner laughs when I immediately reach into my pocket for my phone. “He’s got you carrying your phone all the time. That’s a feat. Are you texting now, too?”
Dropping my head to hide my smile, Gunner laughs again. “Good for you, Colt. No matter what happens, this is a good thing for you. Tell him to be here at 4 PM, and we’ll ride out about an hour later.”
After Gunner leaves, I walk to the far end of the barn and step into the pasture to call Ethan. He picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, handsome, sorry I missed you this morning.”
“Me too. I didn’t want to wake you. When you didn’t come out for coffee, I checked, and you were drooling on the pillow.”
Ethan laughs softly. “Yeah, well, you wore me out, Colt. I don’t know how you can function so well this morning.”
My neck heats as I replay last night’s activities. I felt like a teenager again and couldn’t stop giving Ethan pleasure. I took my own as well, but last night was…beyond description, and I’m only functioning because I drank a pot of coffee before even coming to the ranch.
“It’s been hard,” I admit.
Ethan snickers. “Still? You flatter me.”
I’m not about to replay all the ways I’d like to flatter him. If I do, I’ll never tell him why I called in the first place.
“Listen, I’m calling to ask if you have plans tonight.”
“Uh…no?”
“Do you want to join me for an overnight camping trip? It’s a group that’s too big for Gunner on his own, so I need to go, but you can join us.”
His silence makes me wonder if the call dropped, but my phone says we’re still connected.
“Ethan?”
“I’m here. It’s just…so here’s the thing….” He clears his throat. “I’ve never camped in a tent. I’ve slept in a trailer or a cabin, but the stuff you do I’ve never done. To be honest, it scares me.”
“What? Why would you be scared?”
“Don’t laugh.”
“I won’t.”
He exhales while I wait. “Tents have no protection. They’re like a peel-and-eat treat for bears or whatever big animal out there might be hungry. I don’t know if I can sleep in one feeling like an easy snack.”
It’s not the first time someone new to the camping experience has said that, and he’s not wrong, but I’m not sure what will help him feel better about it.
“I understand, and that’s a valid fear, Ethan, but I’d never let anything happen to you. You’re safe in a group.”
“You don’t know that, though.”
He’s right. I don’t know with absolute certainty. Nobody can.
“How about this? If you want to join us, be at the ranch at 4 PM with a change of clothes for yourself. If you come, great. If you don’t, I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. No hard feelings, okay?”
“You really wouldn’t be mad if I don’t go?”
“No. I’d never make you do something that you’re uncomfortable with, Ethan. Ever.”
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Bye, Colt.”
“Bye, Ethan.”
Returning to the horses, I switch modes to prepare for the overnight trip.
I’d love for Ethan to have this experience, but I certainly won’t pressure him into it if he doesn’t want to go.
He’s already done so much to fit into my life here that I wonder if I should make more of an effort to do the same for him.
Shit. I really should.
I’ve not asked him once if he’d like to get out of town for a day or anything about what he might like to do in the city before coming here. I’ve been so focused on having him experience the ranch for his job, I’ve not really asked him what he likes.
“I’m a shit boyfriend,” I mumble to the horse I’ve brought into the stall. Thankfully, the horse doesn’t confirm it, and I push my failings aside and get to work.
Our group of excited campers has assembled, and while Gunner and I show them how to pack their saddle bags and check in with each one on their riding skills and expectations, a familiar Jeep drives into the yard and parks next to my truck.
“Will you help us with the tents?” a man asks, and I bring my attention back to the group.
“Yes, of course. We’re here to help you with anything you need and bring you a memorable experience for your overnight trip. Don’t be afraid to ask.”
Ethan hangs at the edge of the group, and once they settle into their tasks, I step away to greet him.
“Hi. Are you joining us?”
He nods once, but chews on his lip. “I came ready to, but I’m still scared.”
With a quick glance over my shoulder at the group, I pull Ethan around the corner when Gunner gives me the up nod that he’s got everything under control.
“I don’t want you being scared, Ethan. Don’t feel you have to do this, okay? I mean that. It’s not for everyone.”
His hand reaches for me, and I quickly grab it with mine and squeeze gently.
“I know. It’s…if I’m with you, it’ll be okay, right?”
“I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Okay.” He exhales an extended breath. “I want to do this. I can bring my camera, right?”
“I hope so. You’ll see some amazing views tonight and again tomorrow.”
Ethan’s smile loses its tightness, and he nods. “I’ll get my stuff.”
After kissing his knuckles, I release his hand so he can do that.
He jogs over to his Jeep while I rejoin Gunner, who raises an eyebrow. I give him a thumbs up. He excuses himself from the couple he’s chatting with and strides over.
“Put Ethan on the horse in front of you. You’ll bring up the back as usual. Fair warning, we’ll keep the tents close tonight. I spotted a few black bears near the cattle last week. They rarely bother us, but you know the drill.”
“Yep. Do the bear safety talk once he comes back, then leave? He’s already nervous, but the talk usually calms the nervous ones.”
“Yeah, agreed.”
It’s almost time for us to head out, and Gunner gathers us all in a tight group to go over bear safety. A few teenagers titter nervously and reach for their parents, while Ethan reaches for my hand, then changes his mind. He stands tall, lips pressed together tightly.
I pass him the whistle and bear spray on a lanyard, and he puts them around his neck.
“You sure you’re good?”
“Yes. Let’s do this before I change my mind.”
Kissing him quickly, I whisper, “Sleeping under the stars will be your favorite memory when you leave here. You won’t regret it.”
The campfire flickers in the darkness and pops occasionally, sending a plume of sparks up into the air.
Most of the campers have retired to their tents for the rest of the night. After a ride to the foothills, a hike around the small lake, and working first to make dinner, then to clean up properly, it’s been a full night.
Ethan’s nerves left when we stopped at the first lookout, which had a small lake below us. It’s more of a marsh, really, but still pretty. We allowed him more time than usual at the spot since he was technically documenting for the ranch. I was just happy to see his nerves finally settle.
He was a natural with the guests, offering to take photos, just like he did with the group that was rained out a few weeks ago. I admire the ease he has with new people. Envy him, really. That kind of feeling was never easy for me.
“Hey.” He settles next to me near the fire. “Do you keep the fire going all night?”
“No, I’ll put it out when we turn in for the night.” He leans closer, and I wrap an arm around him. “Are you cold?”
“Just a little.”
We sit on the log for a bit, and Ethan tilts his head back to look at the night sky.
“When I was a kid, we lived in this one place away from town. No streetlights or anything. Even though houses were around, it got so dark it felt like being lost at sea, even though you had solid ground under your feet.”
“City lights don’t let you see this, that’s for sure.”
“Nope.” He sighs and shifts closer to me.
“I used to watch the stars a lot when we lived there. Mostly when I walked home from my friend’s house.
One night, walking home, I was so into the stars that I didn’t notice the dog.
They had one of those giant dogs, an Irish wolfhound. Do you know those dogs?”
“I do. They’re big all right.”
“Anyway, their dog followed me home one night, and I didn’t know it was there. Scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I thought it was a wolf and screamed so loud they probably heard me in space.” Ethan doesn’t laugh, and when I turn my head, he’s watching me closely.
“That’s why I was afraid to come out here. Statistically, I know it’s fine, but I remember that dog more than I do the stars. Which made me miss the stars, and I wanted to see them again. With you.”
We sit in silence for a touch longer, watching the fire, and I realize Ethan is the first man in years I’ve shared something like this with. It shouldn’t have me in knots like it does.
“I’m glad you came.”
He bumps his shoulder against mine, and I turn my head toward him.
“Can I kiss you?” he whispers.