4. Chapter Three
Chapter Three
R ichard found her upstairs in the bedroom. He tried to open the door, but she was leaning against it.
“Come on, Nadine, let me in,” he said softly.
“Go away.”
“I won’t go away until we talk.”
Sighing, she stood up, swiping at her eyes with a soggy tissue. Herman, who’d been keeping her company, stood but didn’t take his eyes off of her. Richard stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Nadine hopped up on the king-sized four-poster bed. Herman looked at her, and she patted the empty space beside her. The dog looked over his shoulder at Richard, but Nadine said, “Come on, Hermie, it’s all right.” She knew Richard hated the dog on the furniture, especially their bed, but as he wouldn’t be sleeping in it anymore, it no longer mattered. Without ceremony, Herman jumped up and settled beside her, laying his head in her lap. Absentmindedly, she stroked his head, brushing the hair away from his eyes.
Richard stood there with his hands in his pockets. Beneath his tan, he was pale. He looked washed out. Nadine could only imagine how she looked.
Trying not to disturb the dog, she leaned over to grab the box of tissues from her nightstand.
“How did Emma take the news that she has a little brother?” she asked. She needed to pull herself together to be able to comfort their daughter.
He shrugged. “Not well.”
“Of course not!” Nadine said. “How did you think she’d react?”
He had the grace to remain silent, but Nadine felt herself just starting to get on a roll.
“I mean, I thought the kid looked familiar when I opened the door but, dummy me, I couldn’t place him!” she said. How could she have been so stupid? Herman lifted his head and whined. She buried her hand in his fur, stroking him. “All I had to do was look at the photo on the bookshelf.”
“I’m sorry this has caused you pain,” Richard said quietly.
He was so damned calm about the whole thing. This was a quality of his that stood on her last nerve from time to time. His feathers never got ruffled. Nothing ever seemed to upset him .
She stared at the crumpled tissue in her hand, trying to find a dry spot but failing. “Is there any chance the child is not yours?”
Deep down, she already knew the answer to that. One didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to see the strong resemblance he bore to Richard. When Richard’s answer wasn’t forthcoming, she looked at him. He stood with his hands on his hips, his confidence pose. She wondered how confident he felt now.
“You love her,” she said.
“Not like I love you.”
Nadine snorted. “Poor Julie!”
When he didn’t say anything, she shook her head, and her laugh was brittle. “I must be a special kind of fool.”
“Nadine—”
“You promised me you would never cheat on me again,” she said through gritted teeth. “But this is something else altogether.”
“Nadine, I—”
“And don’t tell me she means nothing to you! You have a son with her!” she said, her voice rising.
“I was going to apologize,” he said quietly.
“That’s rich of you,” she said. “Do you remember the first time you cheated?”
The muscle along his jaw clenched and he lowered his head, looking at the carpet. “Yes. ”
They had only been married a few years. Emma was two. Nadine found out that Richard had been sleeping with one of the neighbors for a couple of weeks. She’d been devastated. It had precipitated intensive marriage counseling and a move to a different neighborhood.
“Do you remember what I said to you after that first affair?” she asked.
“Yes, but—”
“No buts,” Nadine said sharply. “I told you if you ever cheated on me again that there’d be no reconciliation. That it would mean divorce.”
Richard reached out, but she shrank back against the headboard. “Nadine,” he said, “let’s not do anything rash.”
She blinked several times. “Rash? You’ve got a child with another woman!”
“We’ve got twenty years invested here,” he said. “There’s no need to throw it all away.”
“You should have thought about that when you were sleeping with another woman, fathering a child. How would that work? Would your son be spending the weekends with us?” As much as that child was an innocent, she didn’t want a constant, physical reminder of her husband’s infidelity.
“I’m sure we could work something out.”
She blinked rapidly in disbelief. “You’re serious. And what about Julie? I’m sure she didn’t come here to discuss a custody arrangement, that we’d have Sam for holidays and weekends.” This conversation was so surreal it beggared belief.
“I’ll talk to her.”
“The same way you were going to talk to me about Sam and Julie? That only took six years.”
Finally, her stomach, which had been threatening to rebel, did just that. She managed to scramble off the bed, dislodging Herman’s head from her lap, and dashed to the ensuite bathroom. Lifting the lid and seat from the toilet, she promptly vomited into it, feeling the pressure behind her eyes. The vomit spewed forth until there was only bile left.
Richard was beside her, reaching to pull her hair back as he’d done for her during her pregnancy or any time she’d gotten sick with a stomach bug. Lashing out, she pushed him away with her arm. “Don’t touch me,” she bellowed.
He retrieved a clean hand towel from the cabinet and handed it to her. Without a thanks, she took it from him. Quietly, he left the room.
Finally, when she thought she had no more to expel, she straightened up and washed her face and brushed her teeth over the marble sink with the gold taps.
All this luxury, what did it mean? Absolutely nothing.
Feeling somewhat fresher despite the pain in her stomach, she grabbed the roll of paper towels and disinfectant from the bottom shelf of the cabinet and cleaned up after herself. Once finished, she put everything away and washed her hands.
Herman waited in the bedroom, standing and wagging his tail, worried about her. She smiled at him. She could always count on him. She was his person, and had been ever since she’d found him going through their garbage bin four years ago.
Richard stood there as if waiting for her to pronounce some sort of sentence. As far as Nadine was concerned, there was only one way forward, and that was separation.
“Look, we can get through this,” he said.
She looked at him sharply and spoke, not caring that her voice had an edge to it. “I don’t think so.”
“Come on, Nadine.”
Nadine’s anger blazed. “Wake up, Richard. I could never trust you again.” Was he delusional, thinking their marriage could be saved?
“We can go to counseling.” His tone suggested that he’d made the decision and that’s what they would do.
She looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “What’s a counselor going to do? Wave a magic wand? Have us talk about our feelings? I’m pretty sure you know how I feel.”
“We can’t throw away over twenty years of marriage.” His voice was calm and reasonable. She wanted to punch him.
“ We didn’t throw it away. You did it all by yourself. ”
A thought occurred to her. “What does she want? Why did she show up here?”
Richard blew a short, sharp breath between his teeth. “She wants us to be together as a family, full time.”
Nadine snorted. “I bet she does.”
“She wants me to divorce you.”
“Obviously. Tell her she’s succeeded.” Nadine was going to make all of Julie’s dreams come true.
“She can be persistent,” he said with a sigh. Was that regret for the entanglement? Had the bloom worn off of that rose? Served him right.
“All this time, you’ve been raising this boy, and I didn’t know a thing,” she said. Again, disbelief overwhelmed her. She considered herself to be reasonably intelligent, but now she felt ashamed that she hadn’t picked up on what was going on. She leaned against the bed, parking her butt against the mattress. Sadness rolled over her. She thought back to the start of her day, just that morning, when she’d sat at her kitchen table watching the breakfast morning show, eating some fruit, yoghurt, and toast and not having one clue that her life as she knew it was ending that day.
“You’re responsible for the boy,” Nadine said.
“I know that, ” Richard snapped. “I’ve never shirked any of my responsibilities.” With emphasis, he added, “Ever.”
Well, good for you , she thought. You’re one upstanding guy . She rubbed her forehead with her fingers and sighed. “Look, I need some time and space to process all of this. You need to move your things into the spare room tonight.”
“You’re not going to let me sleep in my own bed?” His voice was tinged with disbelief.
“No.” He couldn’t be that stupid that he’d think things could go on as usual. Or was it arrogance, pure and simple? She was betting on the latter.
“This is kind of rash, but okay. I’ll go to the spare room. Take all the time you need and then we’ll regroup.”
She clenched handfuls of the bedcovers on either side of her. She almost clenched her teeth. “You’re not listening to me, Richard. We will not regroup from this.”
“How many times can I say I’m sorry?”
“I don’t have the answer for that either.”
“What about Emma?” he said.
“What about her?” Nadine asked sharply.
“She’s really upset.”
Nadine’s laugh was brittle. “What did you expect? A handshake? A hearty pat on the back? Of course she’s upset, you’ve not only betrayed me but her as well.”
Richard squeezed his eyes shut and patted the air down with both his hands, as if trying to keep a lid on something. “Don’t use that word. Betrayal.”
“Actually, it’s the perfect word,” Nadine said evenly. An image of her daughter in her room on the other side of the hall filled her mind. I need to see her and make sure she’s okay .
“We can work this out . . .” he said, his voice trailing off as if he no longer believed it either.
“I don’t think so,” she said coldly, brushing past him with Herman following her. She needed to put her own hurt aside and go see her daughter.
She thought about the pot waiting for her in the kitchen that would need a good scrubbing, and the laundry waiting to be folded and ironed. It was going to be an early night: pajamas, a box of tissues, and binge-watching something on Netflix. She was grateful they’d installed a television in their bedroom. She could close the door, climb into her bed, and not have to deal with her husband or the mess he’d made.
She stood outside her daughter’s door and knocked softly.
“Go away!”
“It’s Mom.”
The door opened and Emma’s tearstained face came into view. Her eyes and nose were red. Immediately, Nadine pulled her into her embrace and held her tight as her daughter sobbed.
She whispered in her daughter’s ear, “We’re going to be all right, I promise.”