Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Lou
I wanted to tell him the truth.
It was all I wanted—and I tried. I tried to tell him Blaze and I weren’t together, but he didn’t understand. He misinterpreted. And then the things he said… the things he promised… the way he looked at me. Somewhere in the midst of all that, the truth had changed. My truth had changed.
In this moment, the only truth that existed, real and breathing inside me, was that I desperately wanted to kiss him.
I wanted the heat of his mouth crushed to mine. The firm of his lips branding my skin. I wanted to know what every moment I’d spent around him had promised. The look in his eyes. The barely tethered restraint of his body. The raw promise of his words. I wanted to know what it was like to be wanted by a man I desired. Even if it was only for one kiss—only for a few seconds. I wanted to steal those seconds for myself.
Just once.
Mine.
I whimpered at the press of his mouth. Firm and hot, it charred my lips, scorching the sensitive flesh, and all I wanted was more. All I wanted was him.
Maybe I wanted him so badly, this was still part of my dream. Maybe I was still asleep on the couch and had only imagined the man kneeling at my feet. The one who’d looked at the magazine picture and knew immediately it was for me. Known why I’d picked it.
I wondered if he knew I’d looked at the photo and saw his face staring back at me.
It was a crazy thought. Almost as crazy as kissing my fake boyfriend’s older brother. But whether I was delusional or dreaming, I didn’t want this to end.
Wade cupped my face, the expanse of his hands stretching onto the sides of my neck, marking the gallop of my pulse.
“Open your mouth for me, angel,” he ordered and tipped my head back, his tongue teasing the seam of my lips until they parted. He growled. “Good girl.”
My gasp was extinguished by the way his mouth devoured mine. He was everywhere—tasting, exploring, claiming. Everywhere all at once, and I was dissolving the way Frankie always explained a candle loses to its flame. Not melting, but vaporizing. Every hot stroke of his tongue drew desire up my body, evaporating it into pure want.
Pure ache.
I felt something for Wade that I’d never felt before for anyone. A yearning I tried to ignore—tried to box up and put aside like I’d done with so many other wants over the course of my life, but it wouldn’t let me. He wouldn’t let me.
He deepened the kiss, and I heard a bottomless groan break from his chest. “So fucking sweet, angel. You have no idea how I want you.”
He wanted me.
Wade. Wanted. Me .
I felt swept away by the subtle power of him. Unmoored by the desire thudding through my veins. Like a ship without a compass, I knew what I wanted—where I wanted to go—but I needed him to guide me. And he did.
His tongue stroked along mine, coaxing it to spar with his. Our mouths tangled together until I felt the wet friction of each lick as though his mouth was anchored directly between my thighs.
It had been too long since I’d been kissed, but no length of time would make me forget that I’d never been kissed like this. Searing and starved and desperate. Shivers cascaded along my skin with each stroke of his tongue.
How was it another person could supply my body with warm electricity? How was it that another person could make me come alive?
How was it that this kiss didn’t feel horribly wrong?
It should have. The hard press of his lips. The way he held me prisoner to his body. The invasion of his tongue into the depths of my mouth. It felt warm and wet and wanting… and it should’ve felt wrong.
He was Blaze’s brother. Even though I’d said we weren’t together—even though it was the truth—there was still a minefield of lies lying in wait between Wade and me, and yet, somehow, his lips managed to find a safe path to mine. Somehow, the kiss only felt right— only felt true.
“God, you taste so fucking good,” Wade rumbled, taking my bottom lip between his teeth and biting it until I gasped. With a groan, he soothed the worried flesh with his tongue and then kissed me again.
Deeper, this time, until my mind was in a continuous spin, and all I could do to not lose my balance was for my hands to climb the lapel of his jacket and then wind around his neck, flushing my body to his.
Goose bumps invaded my skin. He was so hot, so hard. The feel of his broad chest was like a wall of hot stone against mine. And lower… there was no mistaking—no guessing about the size of him as his erection wedged into my stomach.
“He didn’t deserve this—he didn’t deserve you,” he ground out, but I didn’t have the words nor the strength to correct him.
My heart thudded in my ears as my hands locked around his neck, trying to anchor myself in the storm of pleasure that whipped through my body. Waves of heat rolled through my veins. My nipples drew painfully tight, the thin bra I had on suddenly chafing the sensitive flesh. And between my thighs… I squeezed them tighter, the pulsing ache in my core so strong it made the whole of me feel on pins and needles.
“Wade…” I shuddered as his mouth moved to my cheek.
“What do you want, angel?” he asked again, decorating the edge of my jaw with bites and licks until he reached the sensitive corner of my neck.
My throat tightened. He was like some kind of gorgeous genie asking me what my wishes were. Begging to make them come true. My lips parted, but my tongue was still lost from the dizzying demands of his kiss.
I wanted more of his heat. More of his touch. More of his kiss. I wanted more of him before I remembered he could never be mine.
“More,” I whispered hoarsely, feeling his lips close on my earlobe with a gentle tug.
The sound that came from his chest was ragged, like steel wool torn in two. Wade lifted his head just far enough and just long enough for his eyes to find mine. They flickered and sparked like charred embers about to catch fire—a blaze that would consume me with him.
Our tongues tangled until I felt like I was spinning. My stomach turning into sparkling knots. My core tightening into a hot ache. And then I was falling—or he was falling. No, sitting. And I was on top of him.
Wade took my seat on the couch and, with his hands on my waist, pulled me onto his lap, my knees finding their spot on either side of his legs. Instantly, the clench of my thighs was replaced by the pressure of his hard arousal straight under my core.
“Go ahead, angel,” he cooed in response to my gasp. “Take what you want from me.”
His hands tugged on my waist, encouraging me to rock against him, the pressure sending a shot of pleasure arcing through me. Without thought, I repeated the movement. I chased what my body wanted. Needed.
“Good girl,” Wade growled his approval, and it broke loose something inside me. Something that would allow for more than a kiss. Something that needed more than a kiss.
He claimed my mouth again, and this time, I kissed him back with abandon, meeting the hot invasion of his tongue and letting the waves of pleasure sweep me away. My body moved with a mind and hunger of its own. Rocking and bowing. Ebbing and flowing. My hips ground my core against his thick ridge, desperate for more of the friction.
My head fell back, my eyes closed as his mouth burned a path along my neck and then lower. I wanted his mouth lower. I wanted his lips on me, his tongue. I wanted to know what it felt like… Needed to know. My fingers threaded into his hair, clutching his head as he moved down my neck.
“Tell me what you want, angel,” Wade muttered, his lips resting on my collarbone.
I trembled and sucked in a breath, realizing at that moment that I hadn’t been holding onto his head but guiding it down my neck and toward my breasts.
His hot breaths came in angry spurts against my skin. “Tell me,” he ordered, rougher this time.
He knew what I wanted. His thumb stroked along the underside of my breast like a thoroughbred pawing at the gate. He knew what I wanted, but he wanted to hear me say it… and I wanted him to call me a good girl again.
“I want your mouth… on my breasts. ”
His ragged groan made my nipples pebble tighter. “Good girl.”
I whimpered, another bolt of pleasure spearing through me. His praise was like bait on a hook, catching me every time and reeling me closer and more desperate for him.
Wade took the sleeve of my shirt and, with one swift yank, pulled it and my bra below my breast, baring me for him.
I had a single moment to feel the cold air on my skin—a single moment where Wade paused, his gaze worshipping the sight his mouth was about to desecrate. A single moment to process the feral sound that broke from his lips before they covered me.
“Wade…” I gasped… or moaned… or both as my head lolled back, pleasure churning through my insides at the feel of his lips and tongue.
He licked and bit and sucked in some combination that felt like nothing short of magic, the way it spelled pleasure through my body. His other hand rose to my shoulder and pulled down my other sleeve, the fabric of my top now rolled and wedged underneath my breasts.
“So perfect,” he cooed, his fingers stretching over my newly exposed skin.
Between the swirl of his tongue and the roll of his fingers, I lost myself in the onslaught of sensations, like a tornado with no center. No safety. No reprieve from the pleasure. My hips began their frantic chase, grinding along the ridge of his cock, chasing the friction that promised to ease the ache.
“That’s it, angel,” he purred against my skin. “Take what you want. You deserve it. You deserve everything.”
A strangled whimper broke from my throat. I couldn’t stop even if I’d wanted to. I’d never felt the urge to orgasm like this before. Not with my fingers. Not with my vibrator. And certainly not with a man.
If someone came downstairs right now, I could only imagine the sight they’d be treated to: the innkeeper straddling one of her guests on the couch, half-naked in the candlelight with his mouth and hands on my breasts. It was so wrong—so forbidden and exposing. It almost tempted me to believe it wasn’t real, but there was no way any dream could make me feel the way he did.
“Wade,” I panted, my body coming apart at the seams.
He groaned. “Say it again,” he ordered, his voice strained. “Say my name again.”
“Wade.”
Somehow, his name became the translation for everything I needed. It meant more. It meant please. It meant yes. And above all, it meant him.
I couldn’t give him the whole truth, but I could give him this part—the knowing that he was the only man who made me feel this way. The only man on my mind.
“ Wade.”
“Good girl,” he chanted, and another tremor rocked me.
I’d never had a nickname. Frankie had a slew of them because of all the trouble she got herself into, but me… I was always sensible. Rational. I was always Lou. Except in Wade’s arms. Then I became something hungry and wanton. I became his angel. His good girl.
“Come for me, angel,” he ordered like it might kill him if I didn’t. “Come for me all over his jeans, so there’s no question who you belong to.”
My hips ground harder. Faster. I chased the rub of the fabric against my clit and distantly wondered why there was any fabric at all between us. Pleasure spiraled and arced. And just when I felt it whip me over the edge, my release erupting through me, his lips sealed back over mine.
It wouldn’t be until later I realized it was so he could swallow my scream.
My body stiffened and quaked and then fractured on my orgasm. And Wade held me through the storm. His mouth fed me oxygen when it felt like my chest had forgotten how to breathe. His arm locked around my back, holding me upright when I worried my spine would turn to Jell-O. And his hand on my waist guided me along his cock, leading me through the waves of pleasure that threatened to drown me.
“Lou…”
His voice reached me through the fugue. What just happened?
What had I done?
The sound of my heavy breaths was so loud inside my head. Was breathing always this loud? What about the pound of my heart? How long had I been like this? How long would it continue?
“Look at me, angel,” he said, but his knuckles under my chin didn’t give me a choice. He lifted my face like it was nothing. Like he couldn’t feel the thousand-pound thoughts stacking in my mind.
I’d kissed him. I’d…ridden him. And then I’d orgasmed in his lap.
My eyes flung open, and I scrambled off the couch—off him, unable to miss the dark spot on the front of his jeans where my release soaked not only my own clothes but left a wet spot on his jeans. Oh god—on Blaze’s jeans.
“Come for me all over his jeans, so there’s no question who you belong to.”
My core clenched traitorously at the memory of what had sent me over the edge.
“Wade…” I pressed the back of my hand over my mouth and then brought it to one cheek and then the other, feeling the heat buzzing under my skin.
“Don’t say it,” he ordered, and the apology disintegrated on my tongue. But it didn’t change the sentiment storming in my chest. This was still wrong. A mistake. He still believed I was involved—though not currently—with his brother. He still believed my lie.
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
Anger tore through him like a bolt of lightning. It didn’t help that while I’d found release, he hadn’t. The wet denim stretched threateningly by the thickness of his cock.
“Because of my brother?” Wade ground out low.
“Wade—” I broke off when he stepped closer, invading my space and my scrambling sanity.
“Did Blaze ever make you feel that way?”
My chest tightened. I didn’t want to answer because the answer wasn’t the whole truth. “Wade?—”
“Did he?”
I sucked in a breath, the hot, electric air loaded into my lungs. I shouldn’t give him an answer. It was wrong. Dangerous, even. The worst-case scenario was…bad. But how many other times in life would I have this moment?
“No,” I admitted. Blaze had never made me feel this way because he’d never had the opportunity. He’d only been a guest. A person I knew in passing, even in spite of his fame.
“I know you feel guilty because you argued—because of what happened to him, but you don’t owe him this, angel. You don’t owe him the feelings that you have for me.”
My breath caught like a knife punctured through the center of my chest.
“I don’t care what happened. I don’t care that you were with him. I don’t care that you were his once. I care that you’ve never been with a man who gave you what you wanted. Who praised you for your desire. Who worshipped every inch of you… for you.”
I couldn’t speak. Forget the truth, I couldn’t even find a semblance of acknowledgment for the things he said.
“I care because I want to be that man,” he finished a little softer, his thumb brushing my cheek like a match softly caressing the strike paper. A little more pressure, a little more determination, and he’d have my body on fire again.
“Wade…”
“But I won't... can't care if Blaze is who you want.”
He wasn’t. But the words stayed locked in the prison of my guilt.
The heat of his touch disappeared, and I stood there, watching as Wade turned and strode from the living room and disappeared upstairs. Only when the click of his door echoed down to me did it feel safe to breathe again.
Numbly, I collected the stacks of papers I’d organized on the coffee table, tidying them all into the folder folio I’d labeled WEDDINGS on the front.
You kissed him, Lou. You wanted to kiss him.
I shuddered and looked for the magazine page, the one that started this all, but it was nowhere to be found. Had he taken it?
You wanted to do more than kiss him.
The ache still lingered between my thighs—a hungry pain in spite of the pleasure he’d given me. I looked toward the stairs, wondering how he must be feeling because while I’d found relief, he hadn’t…
I wanted Wade. Blaze’s older brother. It was wrong and impossible and forbidden… and all because of my lie.
It took two tries before the tightness in my throat would let me swallow. I fished for my cell phone. I had to tell Wade the truth.
I can’t do this anymore. I’m telling Wade the truth tomorrow. I never should’ve let it go this far.
I sent the message off to my sister in a hurry and then gathered my things, returning them to the reception desk before heading up to my room. When I reached the second floor, I paused and stared at Wade’s door. I could knock… I could tell him right now…
Or I could have this one night.
In the end, I took the Cinderella option. One night dressed up in the lie that let me live in the fantasy with the man who was everything I wanted. Tomorrow, I’d step, glass slipperless, into the reality that Wade Stevens was instead the man who could take everything from me when he realized I wasn’t who I said I was.