Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Wade
I was out cold all night. Dead to the world. And what a hell of a way to die, I thought, my chest rumbling as I came back to life.
And to an empty bed.
Shit.
I sat up, my hand sliding to the empty spot next to me. It was cool. Lou had been gone for a while.
Did she regret it? It was the first and only thought that came to my mind as I reached for my phone.
It was early. Too early for even the sun to be up and dripping light through the blinds on the windows. Too early for even Lou to be preparing for breakfast.
“Shit,” I muttered and threw the blankets off, realizing all the things I hadn’t done last night.
My body had been too wrung out, too completely spent to do anything but fall asleep with Lou in my arms and my cock softening inside her. Once she was finally asleep beside me, I’d barely had the wherewithal to pull the condom off, wrap it in a tissue, and drop it on the floor to be cleaned in the morning.
It had been a while since I’d been with a woman. Not for any particular reason but a mix of work, stress, and disinterest. And I was now paying the price. I should’ve gotten up and cleaned her—cleaned the both of us. Should’ve talked to her. The things I’d said…
Groaning, I spun to the side and stood, picking up the discarded tissue and not bothering to turn on a light until I reached the bathroom.
I looked myself in the mirror. ‘When I’m done with you, you won’t remember fucking him either.’
Except she hadn’t fucked my brother.
I hung my head, and my eyes caught on the tissue I was about to toss. My brow drew tight, unmistakable streaks of blood stained the tissue.
She hadn’t fucked anyone.
The realization was like a sledgehammer to my chest. Lou had been a virgin. And I fucked her… not gently. Not like I should have.
I swallowed hard and fought to steady my breathing. I’d been so concerned—so fucking consumed with making her mine. With the primal need to claim her, to fuck my brother out of her system, I didn’t even realize I was her first.
I felt honored… and like the biggest fucking asshole. No wonder she disappeared this morning.
I balled the tissue and tossed it in the trash, leaving only my guilt to stain my hands. I’d told her she deserved more—deserved better than my brother, and then I’d gone and done this.
Dressed in a pair of Blaze’s sweats and another one of his tees, I went quietly downstairs, following the muffled sounds of movement coming from the kitchen. Of course, she was preparing for the day, even though it was way too early.
“Lou.”
The spoon in her hand clattered onto the island as she gasped, “Wade.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, closing the door behind me and moving deeper into the room. “Are you alright? ”
“Yeah.” She flushed. “Are you?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, unable to answer her because I wasn’t alright. I was coming apart at the seams, harboring this insatiable need for her yet afraid I’d never have her again.
Her eyes balled like a deer in headlights. “Tell you?”
“The truth,” I said when I reached the island and gripped the edge of the butcherblock top. “You said you were never with Blaze?—”
“I can explain?—”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?” I rasped, watching her chest cave in with her exhale. “If I would’ve known, Lou… what I did… what I said…” I broke off, my eyes closing.
Soft hands rested on my chest, and I sucked in a sharp breath as I opened my eyes again and stared down at her upturned face.
“If I’d wanted you to know—if I wanted you to do something different—I would’ve told you,” Lou murmured.
I shuddered, her words like a balm to my worry. I cupped her face, tipping it to mine.
“So then why did you leave?”
Her lips peeled apart, lashes fluttering to her cheeks.
“Because I’ve never done this,” she admitted softly. “Because I don’t know what happens next, and I was afraid…”
“Look at me,” I rasped when her gaze dropped to the center of my chest. Without hesitation, her golden-flecked irises found mine again. “What were you afraid of, angel?”
“I was afraid you might regret it,” she said, her throat working to swallow. “Because of your brother… because of me… because I wasn’t…”
“Don’t,” I warned, my jaw clenching violently. “Don’t overthink this, Lou, because I promise you, the reality is simple.”
She let out a weak laugh. “Is it?”
I couldn’t argue that there were times—parts of this situation—that were anything but simple, but not this part. Not her and me. Not us .
“Ask me what I want,” I said, knowing how many times I’d asked her the same question last night.
“What do you want, Wade?”
I moved closer, my hand sliding from the side of her neck to the end of her braid, tugging the tie off of one and then the other.
“You,” I murmured, combing her hair free. “I want you. Whether I should or shouldn’t, I want you more than I can explain, Lou. I want you so much it hurts—” I broke off and took hold of her wrist, dragging her hand down my chest all the way to the front of my sweats so she could feel my cock. “I want you so damn much it physically hurts to not be inside you.”
Her expression softened, the worry in her eyes drowned swiftly and suddenly by desire.
“I want you, too.”
With a groan, I sealed my mouth over hers, her lips opening instantly for me. For more. So, I gave it to her. I slanted her face, angling her perfectly so my tongue could delve deep into her heat and devour every sweet corner of her innocence that had been mine.
“I should’ve been gentler with you,” I rasped, trailing my mouth along her jaw as my hands worked into the loose strands of her hair.
“I didn’t want you to be,” she said breathlessly, turning her head so her lips met mine.
I tugged her head back and kissed her hard, the eager slide of her tongue promising me that she liked it.
“And what do you want?”
“I want you to be not gentle with me now.”
A ragged groan ripped from my chest, my forehead resting on hers. “Lou…”
Whatever I wanted to say died a sudden death on my tongue as she palmed the length of my erection.
Growling savagely, I slammed my mouth back on hers, kissing her until we were both breathless and I had her back against the island. My hands had moved to her waist, finding her skin underneath the edge of her shirt.
“Wade…” she moaned as I kissed and bit along her jaw, scraping and soothing her soft skin.
I wanted to savor her—at least a little of the way I should have last night. But Lou had other plans. The moment I found the pulse of her neck, she reached between us again and squeezed my cock, dragging her small hand up and down its long length.
“Fuck.” I spun her so suddenly that she let out a small cry. “Keep that up, and I won’t even make it inside you, angel,” I rasped into her ear, feeling her shudder against me. “Put your palms on the island.”
My hands toyed with the skin at her waist, waiting until her small fingers splayed over the wood.
“Good girl,” I praised and hooked my fingers under the waistband of her leggings, drawing them down her legs… and finding nothing underneath them. “Fuck, angel. No underwear?” I palmed her bare ass, sinking onto one knee as I stared at her slick, pink pussy that was completely bared to me.
“I didn’t plan on being down here long…” She ended on a moan as I pushed two fingers inside her.
She winced a little as I stroked inside her. She was still tender from last night, but that didn’t stop her from drenching my fingers with want.
“Don’t stop,” she begged, like she heard where my thoughts were going.
Groaning, I bent forward and bit into the fleshy part of her ass, curling my fingers into her G-spot at the same time and marveling at the way her knees went weak.
“I can’t stop, angel,” I murmured, standing straight but keeping my fingers working on her pleasure. “I can’t stop wanting you.” I reached for the band of my sweats and stopped with a curse. “Fuck.” My teeth ground together. I was zero for two on being prepared for her—for this. “Condoms are upstairs. ”
“I’m on birth control, and I…” Her breath hitched. “Well, it’s only been you.”
I stilled, my breath morphing into a beast that clawed in and out of my lungs. “Lou… are you sure?”
She pushed back on my fingers. “Please… I want you.”
I groaned like my very bones were breaking and tugged my sweats down over my hips.
Sliding my fingers from her heat, I gripped the meat of my cock and wiped her desire along its length.
“Fuck, Lou…” Placing my other hand on the small of her back, I held her forward and lined myself up at her entrance, dragging my tip through her arousal.
“Do you feel what you do to me?”
She moaned and tried to press back against my cock, but my hand on her spine stopped her.
“Answer me.”
“Yes,” she panted.
I rewarded her by pushing just the tip into her heat, savoring—and slowly dying—at how her body clutched and tightened on me for more. It was so much hotter this way. To feel her desire right on my bare skin…
Letting out a hiss, I yanked my hips back.
“ Wade!”
“Promise me you’re not going to disappear from my bed in the morning ever again.”
“I promise,” Lou whimpered. “I promise. Please…”
“Good girl,” I said and gave in because I couldn’t hold out any longer.
I worked the head of my cock inside her, gripped her hips hard, and buried myself inside her with one fast thrust.
We both cried out, but I didn’t give a shit who heard. I was in heaven. Playing by the rules meant I’d never fucked a woman without protection before, and this was more than I could imagine.
And I proceeded to be the not gentle she swore she wanted .
I pulled out and thrust even deeper. Harder. Faster. I stared down at where my body disappeared into hers, everything the darkness had hidden last night now on full display. Her swollen pink pussy spread around my shaft. Her desire that slickened and dripped from my cock.
“You’re so good, angel,” I croaked. “The way you feel around my bare cock, so wet and hot, wanting me to slide so fucking deep…” I ended on a groan, feeling my hips bottom out against hers.
“Please, Wade.” She used the island as leverage, pushing off her hands and back onto my cock, meeting each thrust with a lust of her own.
“You were made for my cock,” I said, moving faster. The knot of pressure started to tingle at the base of my spine, and I knew my release was coming.
I pressed on her back, bending her more forward, so the change in angle made me hit that sweet spot buried inside her pussy.
“ Yes,” she whimpered, each thrust now making her breath catch.
Holding her hips hard with one hand, I snaked the other around her front and searched for her clit, feeling her body spasm along mine when I found it.
“Be a good girl and come for me. All over me,” I rasped, circling my fingers and making her gasp for air.
My thrusts grew faster. Shorter. More frantic as my release started to drown me. I couldn’t hold out. She felt too fucking good.
“That’s it,” I cooed, feeling her pussy tighten. “Come all over me… make me come with you.”
Lou cried out as she came apart, and the next thing I knew, white spots erupted in my vision as my orgasm washed through me, carrying me with her. I pinned her against the island, my cock pulsing hard inside her and pouring every drop of my release against her womb .
This time, exhaustion wasn’t going to steal my aftercare.
I carefully pulled out of her and reached for some tissues first. Once those were used, I wet a cloth with warm water and gently cleaned us both. Next, I righted her leggings, silently enjoying the idea that she’d be leaking my cum all morning.
“Lou…” I turned her to face me, lightly brushing her hair back from her face. “Are you okay?”
Her smile was everything. “Perfect,” she answered huskily, making me groan, and then her eyes went suddenly wide, a small cry escaping her chest. “You don’t think anyone heard?”
I chuckled. “I think we’re safe,” I murmured. “But if you disappear from my bed again, I can’t make any promises.”
She blushed. “I won’t.”
“Good.” I kissed her again, slow and deep. “Now, what can I do to help you with breakfast?”
Her lips parted, and then she smiled the kind of smile that made me feel like I’d just taken the world off her shoulders.
“You can help me arrange the Vatrushkas.”
I felt my eyebrows raise, and she laughed.
“They’re a Russian pastry similar to a Danish,” she explained and scooted by me to grab one of the boxes off the end of the counter, opening the lid for me to look at the circular pastries stuffed with blueberries in the center. “They’ve got a blueberry and ricotta-like filling in the center.”
“Interesting…” I murmured.
“You can have one… after you arrange the rest on the platter.” She closed the lid and set it next to the tray while I went to the sink to wash my hands.
We worked a few minutes in silence, me unloading the Vatrushkas and Lou slicing the fresh fruit.
“Can I ask you something?”
I paused at her voice and looked over my shoulder. “Anything.”
“What did my brothers say to you yesterday? You came inside looking… upset. ”
My teeth ground together, recalling the conversation I’d had with Kit and Jamie.
“I was just… on edge. They were only being protective of you.” I placed the second to last pastry on the plate and then picked up the final one in the box for myself.
Lou hummed. “Overprotective?”
“Isn’t that what brothers are for?” I grunted and took a bite.
“Is that what you are? For your brother?” she countered softly.
Her response unsettled me. I’d been upset by the overbearing way Lou’s brothers had spoken about her, yet I couldn’t help but think I treated Blaze the same way.
I swallowed and answered, “I had to be. Our father was… tough.”
It was hard to talk about anyone in my family, honestly. I hadn’t been close with them in so long. It was hard to find the right words to say. It was like looking at a picture on a postcard, easy to see but hard to describe if you’d never been there. And if I’d never been close to my family, it was hard to talk about anything more than the image.
“How so?”
“He had expectations, and he didn’t know how to handle people who didn’t meet them.”
“Blaze,” she said softly, knowing.
I nodded and took another bite. “He was hard on Blaze. Cruel. I didn’t want to be like him, but it was the only way to keep his anger off my brother.”
“That’s tough in a different way,” she said thoughtfully. “It’s hard to be outside of the mold, but when you’re in the mold, it’s hard to see everyone else not realize the mold is more like a cage.”
I stared at her, the sentiment striking right through the beat of my heart to my very core.
“Is that how you feel?” I asked, moving closer to her again.
Her hands stilled in the middle of arranging the pineapple slices on the plate. She lifted her gaze to mine and murmured, “Not with you.”
“Good,” I rumbled, tracing my finger along the curve of her cheek. “But you shouldn’t feel that way with anyone, Lou.”
She looked away and then murmured, “I’m working on it.”
Lou fixed the last of the fruit on the plate before moving it to the end of the counter. She looked around, satisfied with what we’d accomplished so far, and then glanced at the clock. It was still about forty-five minutes until the buffet needed to be ready.
“I think I should shower quick and then put everything out.”
“Whatever you want,” I said, covering the pastry platter and the fruit with plastic wrap.
We walked to the kitchen door, and when I opened it for her, she stopped and looked at me. “What happens now? With us, I mean.”
I watched the color in her cheeks deepen.
“What do you want to happen now?” I said low.
The way this question caught her off-guard was jarring. She was so surprised, so unaccustomed to anyone asking her what she wanted, that it caught her unprepared every time.
I was going to change that.
“I want… to be with you,” Lou answered hesitantly. “I want to be here with you.”
I stayed quiet, soaking in the sight. She was so damn beautiful like this, courageously vulnerable. Lou put herself out there even though she wasn’t sure about the response.
“Then that’s what happens now.” And then I picked her up and carried her upstairs to my shower.