Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Lou
Brave heart.
Dammit, Gigi, how could you?
Even now, the drive back to Friendship passing in sedate silence, my heart still rushed like torrential rain against my chest.
How could Gigi know it was him? Had she known the whole time? Had she told anyone else?
I wanted to bury my face in my hands and sob. I didn’t know how Frankie managed feats like this for her entire life, treading tightropes between truth and fib like the deftest acrobat.
Between protecting the inn, helping Wade protect his brother, and then protecting my heart… I was twisting myself in knots to keep it all balanced. The thing about knots, though, is when there are this many of them, there is no unraveling. You either hurt yourself to break free, or you suffer in their prison.
And I wanted to break free.
I wanted Wade to know the deepest truth: that I wanted to be loved by him.
Joanna had given me fortitude. Hope. The way she’d easily—graciously—understood when I’d told her the truth had given me so much hope for what Wade’s response would be. But no amount of hope could unearth the seed of fear rooted deep in my stomach.
And that was why I didn’t want to come back to the inn after leaving the hospital. I didn’t want to tell Wade the truth in the place that was my home. My haven. The place that was now filled with so many memories with him, to have Wade hate me for everything would be the equivalent of sending the entire building up in flames.
So, I’d suggested Stonebar, knowing the festival was going on and having the pastry pick-up as an excuse.
We were away from everything—everyone. It felt safe to tell him, especially as we talked about his brother. It felt safe right up until I realized just how much danger I was in.
The things he’d said. The way he looked at me—kissed me. I felt the words I love you like every touch was steeped with them, soaked into pockets of breath, infused into each syllable. Wade Stevens was about to tell me he loved me… and the worst part was that I loved him, too, but how could he believe me when I’d been lying all this time ?
“Lou.”
I rushed to the back door of the inn and away from Wade, words caught in a net inside my throat.
Did I tell him I loved him first and hoped he’d forgive me for the lie? Or did I tell him about the lie first and protect myself—protect my heart—in case Joanna was wrong? And if she was wrong, how would I… how could I live knowing that confessing the lie was only half of the truth?
Like night leading into day, I’d lied about dating his brother, but it led me to him… to falling in love him.
Wade caught my hand before I could grab the knob.
“Lou.” He pulled me to him. “What is it?”
My tongue felt like a sandbag weighing on the floor of my mouth. And then I saw it—Kit’s minivan parked in the back next to Jamie’s. I’d been too lost in thought when we’d pulled in to notice it in the spot where Violet had parked Jamie’s truck earlier.
“Why is my brother here?” I blurted out. The blip in Wade’s focus was enough to get me through the door.
The hallway was quiet—a heavy kind of quiet that hung suspended between the broad shoulders of my older brothers. As soon as we entered, they both looked up from where they stood on either side of the reception desk, their elbows propped on the counter.
“Hey. What are you guys doing here? Where’s Violet?” I rushed closer, adjusting my glasses on my nose as my eyes flicked between them.
I’d texted Violet when we left Stonebar to let her know we were on our way back. Her response hadn’t given me any indication she wasn’t here… or that my brothers were.
“We need to talk, Lou,” Jamie spoke first, his voice a low baritone, one that rarely boded well.
“Is everything okay? Is everyone okay?” Panic made my voice waver, a myriad of worst-case scenarios vying for front-row seats in my mind.
I didn’t even notice my purse started to slide off my shoulder until Wade came beside me, catching my bag before it dropped to the ground.
I should’ve fixed it— shouldn’t have stood there and let Wade take care of it and me in front of my brothers. But I couldn’t stop him… and I was tired of pretending I wanted to.
“No, everything’s not okay.” Kit looked like a rubber band about to snap. His jaw. His fist. His gaze. Everything was pulled taut… and ready to unleash on Wade.
No .
Jamie stepped forward, putting a hand on Kit’s chest and moving himself between Kit and Wade. He leveled Wade with a stare that would’ve stopped a freight train.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing with our sister?” my oldest brother demanded .
My stomach sank into a pit of panic.
“Excuse me?” Wade growled, now equally on edge, and stepped in front of me.
“Wait. Stop.” I scrambled to stop everything from imploding, thrusting myself in front of Jamie. “What are you talking about?”
“This,” Jamie bit out, his teeth interlocked like a pressurized puzzle.
He held his phone up so I could see—so Wade could see, too—the image on the screen.
Oh, no. Air sank like an arrow into my lungs. No, no, no. The photo was taken not even an hour ago of Wade and I kissing at the festival on the pier.
“Where did you get that?” I asked, my voice like wisps of sound woven into fragile fabric.
“Max sent it to me.”
My exhale whooshed out. Max.
I hadn’t even thought about who might be in Stonebar. There were so many people, and I was so caught up in the moment with Wade that I hadn’t even considered my cousin might be close by, finishing up at his shop for the night. The lights had been off as we drove by, but it was a foolish assumption to believe he wasn’t still in town.
Kit shoved his way forward next to Jamie, threatening, “I don’t care who you think you are or how angry you are at your brother, I’m not going to let you use our sister as a pawn.”
My pulse galloped in my chest, watching as the three of them seemed to close in on each other like walls closing in around me. I struggled to breathe—struggled to see a way out of this without wrecking everything.
Wade tensed behind me but didn’t move, his deep voice a presence all on its own. “I would never use Lou.”
The way Wade said my name… it was powerful because it was precise. Not like how Kit referred to me. Our sister. I was an abstract term to them, and that was my own fault.
I’d done such a good job fitting myself into their lives, being who they needed me to be that the idea I had my own life outside of that box… that there was a Lou who existed independent of being their sister, was something I’d never asked them to see. Never wanted them to see. Was it right to punish them for not being able to see through the walls I’d built around myself?
“Then how the hell do you explain that photo?” Jamie demanded. “Because it sure as hell looks like you’re not only disrespecting our sister but your brother, too.”
“I don’t have to explain it because it’s none of your business,” Wade fired back.
“Bullshit. She’s our sister. It damn well is our business?—”
“Well, she can explain if that’s what she wants.”
Jamie’s attention narrowed on me. “What’s going on, Lou?” he asked without even a flicker of doubt in his eyes.
Oh, Jamie.
I wanted them to know the truth. It wasn’t that. But I didn’t want to tell them like this—I didn’t want Wade to find out like this. But neither could I lie to the two of them. Not again. Not for this.
It was one thing to shade in the outline of the ‘dating Blaze’ story at Mom’s house, but it was another to look the two of them in the eyes, emotions heated, and give them some carefully carved story that was enough truth to stop them from realizing the entire lie.
“Lou—”
“Enough,” I said softly. All their eyes were on me, but it was my brothers I felt the most.
They were here to protect me—defend me—and it wasn’t their fault they had to. It was mine. Because all I’d ever shown them was the woman who hid her true self, tucked away in a closet, and let her siblings take the attention for her.
“Enough,” I repeated, but this time for myself.
Enough hiding. Enough lying. A stillness came over me like everything that had been sent fluttering and flying had now found a place to land.
With him.
I turned to Wade, my gaze tracing the hard line of his jaw, the firm set of his mouth. Here was a man trained to defend people—to speak on their behalf—and still, he held himself back. When he had every right to defend himself against their accusations, he let them think the worst of him… for me.
My head swiveled back to my brothers, and I felt a surge of guilt. Not because I’d lied to them. Not because I still wasn’t going to tell them the truth. But because the Elouise Kinkade they knew, the one they had to stick up for and fight for, was changing. Was becoming who she was meant to be.
A woman who didn’t need her brothers, or even her twin, to show up threatening fire and brimstone to protect her.
That woman also knew there was only one thing—one truth that would stop their inquisition in their tracks. And it was the truth that would leave my heart in jeopardy.
I moved in front of Jamie and set my hand on his chest. How many times did he rock me to sleep when I was a baby? How many nights did I fall asleep listening to the beat of my half brother’s heart? He’d soothed me so many times, and I just hoped that what I was about to say would be able to soothe him.
“I love him,” I declared softly. Fervently. “That’s what’s going on.” Every word felt like a firework that came from my chest, ignited by the spark Wade created and then bursting with my own strength. “I’m in love with Wade, and that’s all the two of you need to know.”
I loved my brothers. I would tell them the whole truth at some point. But I didn’t owe it to them now—I didn’t owe it to them before the man who’d been directly affected by it. The man who’d captured my heart.
“Lou…” Jamie said faintly. Maybe Kit did, too. I couldn’t be certain. It was hard to hear anything over the screaming of my heart.
“I love you, Jamie. I love you both for coming here. For wanting to protect me—for having protected and sheltered me for so long. But now, I need to love you for knowing there are boundaries in my life and for honoring them.”
Jamie processed the information, slow and steady, as was his way. And then, a tight stream of hot air exhaled from his lips, and his chin lowered.
“If you’re sure,” was all he could manage.
“I am.”
Jamie hugged me tightly, and it was a brief relief before he moved aside so I could talk to Kit.
“I don’t understand,” Kit said, his voice more hurt than angry.
I took his hands in mine and clasped them tight. “I think you do,” I told him. “The part of you that drew all of Aurora’s sea specimens in secret understands what it’s like to fall for someone you shouldn’t.”
Kit fought it for another second, his gaze flicking to Wade and then back to me. And then his chin lowered, resigned to accepting the situation because he understood the feeling even without knowing all the facts.
My brothers left with wary stares, simultaneously respecting that they had no right to the particulars of my relationship with Wade but not liking it. They would come around.
Slowly, I faced Wade, surprised by how soft his gaze was when it captured mine. I started to speak, unsure of what was even coming out of my mouth, until he stopped me.
“Don’t say it, angel. Don’t apologize for that.”