Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
FINLEY
“And you promise you’ll get your ass out of the house today?
” Sydney says, her face filling the screen of my phone.
“I mean it. Take a shower, put on something cute, do your hair, and go get a cup of coffee or something. The couch is getting an indentation from your ass, and you need some fresh air.”
I scoff. “First of all, I’ve barely even been on the couch.
” It’s not a lie. I’ve preferred to stay in bed for upwards of twenty hours a day since I arrived last week.
“And secondly, do you know of any shops that sell cute circus tents? Because that’s about all I’ll be able to get into at this point. ”
She laughs. “Shut up. You’re gorgeous, even when you’re being a sad sack in your blanket burrito.” Her stare hardens. “I mean it, Fin. Take my car and go somewhere. Anywhere. It’s not healthy for you or the baby to be cooped up all day.”
I sigh. “I know. I will. Maybe I’ll check out the new café on Carnegie. I’m sure it won’t be too crowded, since everyone will be at the sports bars.”
The Renegades are in Charlotte today for their big playoff game.
Livvy, Sydney, and Bailey are there, while Stella is pulling double duty with work and stopping in to take care of Boner.
I texted Theo on Friday to ask if he wanted me to stay at his place while he was away, since that was our original agreement, but he said he had it under control.
I can’t lie, it was like a punch in the gut, but I was the one who left.
This is what I wanted, so I can’t really be upset.
“Alright,” she says. “Text one of us if you need anything.”
We end the call, a pang of sadness hitting me when I think about not being there to cheer him on for such a huge game.
I’m too far along to fly, anyway, but that hardly dulls the ache in my chest. I should’ve at least kissed him goodbye and made sure his lucky dinosaur pajamas were packed.
Instead, I’m here alone, hoping that he knows how proud I am when he takes the field this afternoon.
Following Sydney’s orders, I take a shower, cutting it a little shorter than normal because it’s been getting more difficult to stand for long periods of time.
I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions, but my doctor reassured me that it’s a completely normal way for my body to practice for the real thing.
They’re not super painful—more annoying than anything—and oddly, they don’t bother me as much when I’m focusing my attention elsewhere. So, I guess a day out wouldn’t hurt.
Ninety minutes later, I’m feeding the parking meter outside Brew-La-La, the brand-new café that just opened on the other side of the city. Just as I suspected, it’s not busy, and I only have to wait in line for a few minutes before I’m called up to the counter.
“Welcome!” an adorable black-haired girl around my age says, her silver septum ring glinting against the recessed lighting. “What can I get you today?”
I look up at the menu that hangs overhead, scrunching my nose. “What do you recommend? No caffeine,” I add, laying a hand over my belly. “I don’t want to give this one any more reasons to use my bladder as a trampoline.”
She laughs, understanding passing over her expression. “In that case, the decaf vanilla bean latte is amazing. We also have fresh croissants, if you want a snack to go with it.”
The baby kicks, letting me know that she approves of those choices.
I give the girl my name, pay for my order, shove a ten-dollar bill into the tip jar, and slide out of the way while I wait.
Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I pull up the Renegades app on my phone, clicking on the live video that sits at the top of the main page.
The guys are warming up, the camera panning across the field as they stretch and go through drills.
Immediately, I find Theo, noticing the slight darkness under his eyes and feeling like shit because there’s a strong possibility that I caused them.
Jett walks up, slapping him on the shoulder and earning a half-smile.
Even though he looks kind of sad, he’s still as devastatingly handsome as ever.
Fuck, I miss him so much.
“Finley.” My name is called from behind the counter, and I look up to see another girl—this one, a blonde—pushing a cup and bag toward me.
I thank her, bringing it to the nearest empty table and sitting down with my gaze still locked onto the screen.
But before I can even take a sip of the steaming drink, a masculine voice garners my attention.
“Finley? Is that you?”
I lift my head to find a tall man, maybe in his late forties, looking down at me.
At first, I don’t recognize him, but the longer I take in his features, the more unmistakably familiar they become.
The dark, curly hair that was almost always covered with a Cleveland Crunch ballcap.
The kind, blue eyes that are wrinkled at the corners from smiling.
The same black onyx ring that used to sit beside our bathroom sink every evening, until one day, it didn’t.
“Vince?”
I’m nearly speechless, my eyes wide in disbelief as an elated grin stretches across his face.
He’s barely changed, yet somehow looks so different, but there’s no way in hell I’d ever forget that smile.
It was the one I ran to every day after school, excitement vibrating through me because I knew I was in for an evening of fun.
Whether it was going on a bike ride, watching cartoons, or helping him fix things around the house, I always wanted to be with him.
He was the closest thing to a father I ever had.
“You’re beautiful,” he says, his eyes glossy with emotion. “You look so much like your mom. How is she?”
My heart sinks, and I look down, fidgeting with the paper bag in front of me.
“She’s ummm…in Europe, I think. Her boyfriend surprised her with a trip around the world.
” It’s pretty sad that I don’t even know for sure where my own mother is, but that’s the kind of relationship we have.
She still has no idea that I’m pregnant, and since I stopped making an effort to reach out, I haven’t heard from her. Sadly, I doubt she noticed.
His expression goes somber, the light behind it dimming. “I’m happy to hear that. Glad she found someone who could give her the things I couldn’t.” His posture falls, and he swallows thickly. “And you?”
I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. “I’m good. Just thought I’d check out the new café while the city was preoccupied with the Renegades game.”
He chuckles. “I was actually heading home to watch it myself, but had to drop in for a pick-me-up. This place has the best Peppermint Mochas in the state of Ohio.”
I have a million questions swirling around in my head—ones that I never thought I’d have the opportunity to ask since he left without a word.
We moved shortly after, never returning to the neighborhood again.
I was just a kid, but the whole thing really jaded me, making a lasting impact on the woman I am today.
The same woman who’s currently running from a man who wants to give her the world because she’s terrified of losing him.
It’s now or never, Finley. This is your chance to find out what happened, so you can finally heal.
“Can I ask you a question?” I say quietly, my voice shaking as nerves wash over me.
“Of course,” he replies, his brows drawing together with concern. “May I sit?”
I nod, chewing the inside of my cheek nervously as he takes the seat across from me.
My foot taps against the tile, my mouth going dry because what do I even say?
It’s been over fifteen years since I’ve seen him, and I certainly don’t want to unload all my childhood trauma, when he was only there for a small part of it.
“Finley,” he says, his expression softening. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. You just have to ask.”
I press my lips together, taking a deep, soothing breath. Even if he confirms every one of my adolescent fears, maybe it’ll bring me some kind of closure. I just want to move forward, and I can’t do that when I’m still hanging onto the past.
“Why did you leave?” I blurt, unable to hold the words in any longer. As soon as they’re out, I look down, bracing for impact as I ready myself to relive the heartbreak all over again. My heart beats like a drum, throat closing with every second of silence that passes by, until finally, he speaks.
“I didn’t want to.”
I whip my head up, my confused stare begging for more as his posture turns inward. He looks sad and defeated, nothing like a man who’s happy with the decision he made.
“I don’t want you to think ill of your mother,” he continues, “but she didn’t give me a choice.
I did everything I could to provide for the two of you, but when I was laid off from my job at the warehouse, I couldn’t afford to pay the bills anymore.
I was out there every day putting in applications and going on interviews, but I wasn’t able to find a new position fast enough.
So, when she broke up with me and told me to pack my things, my hands were tied. The apartment was in her name.”
His tear-filled gaze softens, and he exhales a mournful sigh.
“I wanted to say goodbye. To tell you I loved you and apologize for letting you down, but she forced me out before you got home from school. Hell, I even met with a lawyer after I got a new job, hoping that I could at least get visitation. But since you weren’t biologically mine, they said there was nothing I could do.
” He shakes his head slowly. “I’m so sorry, Finley.
I wanted to be your dad more than anything in the world. ”
I cover my face with both hands, tears flowing down my cheeks as I sob silently. I’m overwhelmed with emotion, the weight of every lie I ever told myself falling away as I finally release them after all these years.
He wanted me. He loved me. I was enough.
He rounds the table, crouching down beside me and laying a comforting hand on my shoulder, his whispered words of affirmation healing the little girl inside me one by one. He consoles me as I break down, only returning to his seat when he’s absolutely positive that I’m okay.
“Wow,” I say on a breathy laugh, dabbing at my wet cheeks with a napkin. “I definitely wasn’t expecting this when I left the house today, but I really needed it. Thank you, Vince.”
He reaches across the table, patting my arm softly. “No. Thank you for hearing me out. I was never able to have children of my own, but those months with you were a gift I haven’t forgotten.”
My heart swells, a hand lifting to my stomach when Norah pushes against it from the inside. His eyes fall to the motion, brightening as a giant grin splits his face. “So, you’re going to be a mom, huh?”
“Yeah,” I reply, my expression matching his as I look down. “A little girl. Any day now.” I can’t believe my due date is right around the corner, and I’ll be holding her in my arms soon. I can’t wait to see what she looks like and kiss her adorable little face until she’s sick of me.
“And the dad?” he asks, catching me off guard. “Is he taking good care of you?”
Theo’s face flickers in my mind, bringing with it an ache that’s almost unbearable as realization slams into me.
He loved and supported me unconditionally, and I fucked it all up over a bunch of bullshit fears—ones that never would’ve existed had I known the truth about my past. He deserved better, and I hate myself for not believing that our love could be enough.
“I hurt him,” I choke out, desperation gripping at my throat. “I have to fix it.”
I shoot out of my seat, adrenaline pumping through my veins.
My rational brain knows that he’s not even in Ohio right now, but I don’t care.
I need to get home and wait for him so I can apologize as soon as possible.
I won’t go a minute longer than I have to without telling him how sorry I am for doubting us.
“Let me get your number, so we can meet up again,” I rush out, reaching for my phone.
Suddenly, a sharp pain rips across my belly, causing me to double over.
I brace against the table with one shaky hand and hold my stomach with the other, trying to catch my breath as my vision blurs from the pain.
These are definitely not the Braxton Hicks contractions I’ve grown accustomed to.
“I need to go to the hospital.”