Chapter 15 #2
“Go and have a wee, then come back and tell me what’s going on in that beautiful, overthinking head of yours.”
I smile at Cam’s words, the way he knew I was awake, and my mind was already a riot. The fact he knows I’m always busting to use the toilet as soon as I open my eyes. This big, beautiful man was made to be mine, and I’ll be forever grateful that’s exactly what he is.
Leaning across, I kiss his bare shoulder, then head to our ensuite.
While I’m there, I decide I may as well have a quick shower.
Once that’s done, I moisturise, clean my teeth, throw on a tee—today’s choice is Joe Jackson’s “Look Sharp” album cover image—and a pair of my favourite boy leg, bamboo cotton knickers.
I throw my hair up in a messy bun and return to my husband, who’s now sitting up in bed, looking at his phone.
At my entrance, he looks me up and down. “What time’s the circus arriving today?” he asks.
“Not till twelve,” I tell him as I climb back into bed. “They want to go through what they got yesterday to see what worked and what they need from today. Plus, it’s Saturday and sacred.”
Saturdays, mornings especially, are usually our reconnect days. If it’s just Cam and me, we stay in bed all morning, talk, nap, scroll our phones, watch the news, read the gossip and showbiz pages, then fuck.
If the kids come over, we usually go out for breakfast. The boys will either play golf in the afternoon or go and watch West Ham play. The girls and I will head out to the shops, maybe head over to visit my mum and dad if they’re in the country, or visit the day spa for a treatment or mani-pedi.
A knock sounds at our bedroom door. “Yo!” Cam calls out.
Harry pokes his head in. “Morning,” he calls out, entering our room with a cardboard tray of takeaway cups.
“I knew there was a reason you’re my favourite child,” I tell him with a grin.
“I heard that!” Lu shouts from somewhere just outside the door.
Kiki follows Harry, carrying my favourite Gracie Baby designed china mug, which has ‘Queen of Fucking Everything’ printed on it.
“Me, too. Shall I take this back down and force you to drink from the takeaway cup like a normal person?” she asks.
“Absolutely not, my joint favourite child,” I tell her as Harry leans in to kiss my cheek and hand me a cup.
Knowing how much I hate drinking out of them, Kiks immediately takes the cup off me, kisses my cheek, then heads into the bathroom, where, I assume, she’ll transfer my extra shot flat white into my mug.
Lu comes through the door with a tray filled with rolls, HP, and tomato sauce. George enters directly behind her, carrying side plates.
“Fuck me. What did we do to deserve this level of service?” Cam asks as he’s handed an egg and bacon roll on a plate, along with his coffee.
“Heard yesterday was a bit full on, so me and George stopped off at Full Bifta, seeing as you’ve gotta do it all again today and won’t have time to go out.”
“Aww, thank you, boys. That’s very considerate of you,” I tell them.
“It’s the way my mumma raised me,” Harry says with a wink.
“Arse licker,” Lu states.
“Tallulah,” Cam admonishes. She shrugs.
After kisses and handshakes, and the coffees and rolls are dished out, our kids pile on our super king bed, and we all eat.
“So, how’d it go?” George asks after a few minutes of silence.
“It went,” I reply. “Equal parts harrowing, emotional, funny, traumatising, revealing.”
“A lot, then?” H questions.
“Yep.”
“And it didn’t end when the cameras stopped rolling,” Lu informs the room, like more than half of us weren’t there last night.
I shoot Cam a quick glance, take a sip of my coffee, then look between each of our kids, wondering if I’m about to destroy the close and unique bond I have with each of them.
“There are a couple of things that’ve come up we’d like to talk to you all about,” I say before finishing off my egg and bacon roll.
My kids all look at each other, and I know for a fact they would’ve been discussing yesterday’s and last night’s events in their group chat.
I’m the last to finish eating, so put my plate down on the bedside chest of drawers, brush off my hands, then pick up my coffee and take another sip, acutely aware all eyes are on me.
“What we’re about to tell you doesn’t leave this room,” I start.
“There’s absolutely no reason you need knowledge of these facts,” Cam interjects.
“But we’re trusting you with them. The first thing, I’ve left for your mum to decide, and she thinks you’re old enough and mature enough to be told something that was revealed to us just last night.
” He finishes his coffee, sets the cardboard cup down, and looks from me to each of our kids.
“The second thing…. That thing might be a bit hard for you to hear, but again, we’ve discussed it and think it’s no more than you can handle.
” He gives me a small nod, which I take as my cue to continue.
“We learned last night that when Sean and Marley were drugged, then falsely accused of rape all those years ago, while unconscious, Sean was also sexually assaulted.”
“What?” the boys simultaneously call out.
“Sexually assaulted, how?” Kiki asks.
Despite just finishing my coffee, my mouth feels dry. Despite just waking up, I feel like I need to sleep.
“Rocco Taylor had a video camera with him.” Cam, sensing my panic, takes over.
“He took photos, which he later released to the press, but the video was taken as police evidence. When the charges were dropped, everything was released. A rep from the label’s legal team collected everything, including the video camera.
It was eventually given back to Taylor, minus the tape inside.
The lawyers gave it to Len. Len watched it. ”
Lu closes her eyes, and Kiks’ hand covers her mouth.
“He doesn’t think Taylor and White realised the camera was still rolling, and they can be heard discussing how to obtain evidence to back up White’s rape claim she was about to make.”
“Fuck me,” Harry says with a headshake. “While the boys were unconscious?”
I nod and blow out a breath.
“They wanted semen, and both of them did whatever they could to get some,” I explain without going into graphic detail.
“It didn’t work. Nothing they tried worked, and before they could violate Marley, Sean stirred, so they carried on without the evidence they wanted, and the accusation was still made. ”
“What did Len do?” Lu asks.
“He told Sean, who, because he didn’t want to give them more publicity, didn’t want—”
“He didn’t want your mum to know,” Cam interrupts when he hears my voice crack.
“He didn’t want her hurting any more than she already was, and he didn’t want the whole thing dragged into the public eye again.
Plus, Marley wasn’t doing too great mentally after everything that happened.
Things were tense between all of the band members, so Sean insisted Len keep it between them, but requested the tape be kept in case it was needed as leverage at some point in the future.
Taylor was informed of its existence and threatened with SA charges being brought against him and White if they didn’t retract their accusations and give no comment responses to all press questions regarding what happened in Paris going forward. ”
“That poor fucking bloke,” Harry says.
“Mum.” Lu says my name in a way that has my eyes instantly fill with tears.
“I know,” I reply. “It’s awful. Horrible.”
“Did you know? Did he ever tell you?”
“No, baby.” I shake my head. “He never told me, but that was just typical Sean behaviour, always trying to protect me.”
“What an absolute pair of scumbags them two were,” George states.
“Horrible, horrible humans,” Kiki agrees.
“I’m just glad they’re both fucking dead, otherwise, I’d be making a call to Bailey asking if he knew someone who could off the oxygen thieves,” Lu declares.
“Bailey wouldn’t need to be involved. I’m pretty sure if that pair were still walking this earth, after mum and dad found all that out last night, Dad would’ve made sure neither of them were waking up this morning,” Harry says.
“That’s not what—” I start to argue only to get cut off by George.
“Yep, Dad would’ve had it all taken care of by this morning.”
What do I say to that? Do I lie? My kids are adults. They know Cam’s history, my family’s connections, so both Cam and I remain silent, watching and listening as our kids discuss and process the information they’ve just been given.
“I’m so sorry, Mum,” Kiki says as she shifts on the bed and squeezes herself between her dad and me. “What was the other thing?”
I look at Cam, wondering now if it’s too much, if it’s not the time, but he simply shrugs. The kids have started a discussion amongst themselves, but I just hear noise, not words.
“While I was married to Sean, me and your dad hooked up,” I blurt out.
The room falls silent.
I watch as Harry’s mouth opens and closes before his eyes dart to his brother and sisters, then come back to me. He closes his mouth and says nothing while my other three kids stare at me, wide-eyed.
“I loved my husband, but I loved your dad. I just hadn’t realised it when I left him and went back to Sean.
By the time I did, I was married… but we, me and your dad, we had unfinished business.
One night, we bumped into each other, and, yeah, it just happened.
It was just the once. We knew we couldn’t be trusted alone in each other’s company so made sure it didn’t happen again.
I’m not making excuses, I’m not condoning adultery or any kind of cheating, and I’m well aware that what I did makes me the world’s biggest hypocrite after the way I shut Sean out of my life for what I thought he'd done. I accept all of that, but that doesn’t stop it from being the truth. That’s how deep what we have goes.”
“You were married to the world’s biggest rock star, the hottest man on the planet, and you risked it all for Dad,” Lu states quietly.
“I did, and I’ll tell you honestly, if we’d been caught, if Sean had left me, I’d have gone straight back to your dad because I loved him. I loved both of them. Think what you like about me, of me, whatever, but the honest truth is that I’ve spent around thirty-five years in love with two men.”
“Fuck me. Sean McCarthy’s gotta be the unluckiest geezer on the planet. Bags a worldie, gets sexually assaulted, accused of rape, loses the girl, becomes the world’s biggest rock star, gets the girl back, she cheats—sorry, Mum—with her ex, he gets dead.”
I draw in a breath at my son’s short yet graphic, somewhat accurate description of my late husband’s life.
“Would it be inappropriate if I high-fived Dad right now, cos, go fucking you, old man,” Harry says with a grin.
“Totally inappropriate,” I tell him.
“I knew it. I knew there was something between you two you’ve been keeping secret,” Lu says with a headshake and a small smile.
“This information stays between these four walls,” Cam announces firmly.
“You tell no one. We all okay? We need to book a family therapy session? We need time to process? A group hug? What? Tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen.
You have questions, come to us and ask them.
We’ll be open and honest. If there’s nothing else for now, thank you for coffee and breakfast, but you all need to fuck off so I can get my naked arse out of bed and get myself showered. ”
The kids scatter, H, George, and Lu with smiles on their faces, Kiks with a frown.
“You okay?” Cam asks me once the door closes behind them, followed by noise instantly erupting on the landing.
“I don’t know what I am,” I reply honestly.
“They’ll be fine. They’ll have questions, especially the girls, but they’ll be fine.”
“Hope so.”
“I know so,” he says as he walks around the bed before he leans across and kisses me gently on the mouth. “Love the fuck out of you, Kitten.”
“Love you, too, T,” I reply, watching his bare and oh-so-perfect arse heading towards the bathroom. “You’re the hero in all of this, I’m just the ho!” I call out.
He stops mid-step, then turns to look at me, shaking his head. “Nah, I think they’re just seeing us in a different light. We’ve just made our kids realise that there’s so much more to us than just being their mum and dad.”
“Okay, then, you’re the hero and a hitman, and I’m still the ho.”
“Georgia.” He says my name on a sigh as he turns and heads back towards where I’m still sitting cross-legged on our bed.
“I think you’ll find you’re the hero. You’ve never been anything less to any of them, but what you did just then, laying yourself out there like that?
I think you’ll find you’ve reached a new level of respect from Lu. ”
“Because I’m an adulterer? That’s worrying.”
“Because you just showed her you’re flawed and not this perfect person she always thinks she has to live up to. You showed her you’re not Superwoman, you’re human like the rest of us, and you risked everything for me.”
“You’re making what we did sound romantic,” I say as warmth grows in my belly at his words, desperately wanting them to be true.
“You don’t think our story’s romantic?”
I can’t hide my smile. “You think us fucking against the office door of a nightclub is romantic?”
“I think”—he places his palms down on the bed and leans into me—“the way we’ve always been drawn back to each other, the way our lives took so many twists and turns only to set us on a path that brought us back together on the other side of the world is definitely romantic.
Not that I’m an expert on that kind of shit, but yeah, I think that’s as romantic as fuck.
And you know what? Let the kids think what they fucking like.
They’re grownups now. Shit happens in life; we’re prime examples of that.
I love the fuck out of you, you love the fuck out of me, we love the fuck out of them, and that’s all that matters. ”
He kisses my nose, stands, then heads back to our bathroom, leaving me on our bed, my brain and insides buzzing, my skin prickling at my husband’s words, while I once again wonder how I got so fucking lucky.
“Stop overthinking it all, Kitten. Just get in here and suck my cock,” he calls out over the sound of running water.
Happily, I oblige.