Chapter 16 #3
“At this stage, I was totally convinced someone was dead and was just waiting for the blow—waiting to hear which one it was. Then my dad started rambling on about a party getting out of hand, the police turning up, and the boys getting arrested.”
I’m conscious of the fact that I’m talking quickly, gesturing with my hands while my heart pounds in my chest. It feels weirdly good. Cathartic, almost, to relive it.
“I asked what they’d been arrested for, because it wasn’t making sense.
My mum crying the way she was just because my brother had been nicked just didn’t add up.
She was married to my dad, after all; he was no angel and had been to prison a couple of times when he was younger.
Then my dad said the word ‘rape’, and it was the weirdest thing.
When he said they’d been arrested for rape, I think I actually calmed down, because I knew, I absolutely, one hundred percent knew it wasn’t true. ”
I pause and take a breath. “My dad said he was flying out to France, and me and him got into a fight because I wanted to go with him. He absolutely wasn’t having it.
I was pissed off but calmer because no one had died.
Knowing the boys like I did, I knew they hadn’t raped anyone, either. And then Jimmie arrived.”
A cup of tea is placed on the table in front of me, and I look up to see Tallulah looking down at me. When I look around, my husband and kids are all lined up, leaning against the island, watching me. I’d been so focused on what I was doing, saying, reliving, I hadn’t heard them come in.
“That’s when my life, my world, all of my hopes, my dreams, my plans for our wedding, our future, the baby names we’d picked out, were burned to the ground. When Jim turned up and told me who had made the allegation, I just knew there was more to it.”
I reach for my tea and take a sip. Probably for the first time in forty years, I’m allowing myself to fully process my thoughts and feelings from that time. Allowing myself to remember exactly how I felt.
“You know, we’ve spoken a lot about how young we all were and, yes, I was only sixteen, living a life that only Gen Xers will fully understand, but as young and naive as I was, I knew. I fucking knew something was coming, and I knew from the second I set eyes on Haley White that she was a threat.”
I take another sip of my tea before looking directly at the camera. “Ladies, women, girls, no matter your age, trust your gut. No matter the situation, trust your gut.”
“Woohoo! Go, Mumma,” Lu calls out from behind me, making me smile.
“Everything basically went to shit from there. Jim told me what Len had told her. I think I vomited. I didn’t, not at any time, believe the allegations, but she, that little troll, had been in their room.
For me, the trust was broken. It could’ve been anyone, but not her.
Not her,” I repeat with a whisper, my skin prickling with the rage, hurt, and disbelief that he’d done that to me. With her!
“When Sean came home, I could barely look at him or Marley. He begged me to forgive him, and I think I might’ve even considered it, or considered hearing him out at least. But then we found out photos had been leaked to the press.
By the way, in case you or anyone watching doesn’t know, it was Rocco Taylor who took the photos, and Rocco who leaked them.
” I use air quotes when I say ‘leaked’ for the second time.
“My dad and brother were fighting. I think my dad might have hit Sean, too. I was screaming. Someone—can’t remember who—kicked Sean out, and really, apart from one other occasion, I think that was the last time I saw him for just over four years. ”
I hold my hands out, palms up. “That really was when I had one of those melt-downs of Georgia proportions you’ve heard so much about.
I was a mess, and I stayed that way for a while.
” I wipe at my nose in a most unladylike manner that I know my mum will be admonishing me for, and realise my face is wet with tears.
“I know people won’t get this, but what I felt in the following days was almost as bad as when Sean died.
I was grieving for what I’d lost, the trust in him I thought I had, the life we planned.
Every part of me was altered. It was beyond anything I was mentally equipped to deal with. It was… I was fucked.”
The studio remains quiet. Daniel watches me, fiddling with the pen he always seems to have in his hand as he slowly nods.
“Okay, fantastic. Not the events you’ve just described, obviously, but the editing team will weave all of that into what the boys told us yesterday. Now, you touched on your eating disorder and revenge sex. Do you want to elaborate or move things along?”
“Move things along, please,” I reply without hesitation. Talking about that time in my life is difficult enough with my husband in the room, who witnessed it firsthand, but I definitely don’t want to do it in front of my kids.
“It’s covered in the film, and I think what I said yesterday is enough.”
“Your call. If we feel it’s lacking in any way when we pull all of this together, I’ll reach out, and we can add some filler.”
I draw in a breath, glad that it’s done. That part of my life, anyway.
Chastity appears in front of me, palette in one hand, a brush in the other.
“Just gonna touch up those tear stains,” she says quietly in her East London accent.
“Tell you what, my lovely. You’re gonna have the whole nation in tears when they watch this, and I’ll tell ya what else.
It’s a fucking good job that poisonous pair are already dead, because they’ll be plenty out there wanting to hunt them down once they hear the facts. ”
I don’t reply because I’ve nothing to say. I don’t want to publicly admit I’m glad they’re dead, but I am.
“Jesus, woman, your kids are blessed with some amazing genes. Just look at this.”
Kenzie replaces Chastity to stand in front of me and positions her camera where I can see the screen.
On it is a picture of my kids. The girls are in the middle, both long and lean, built like me, with Lu slightly taller than Kiks.
Their dark heads are together, neither of them wearing much makeup, and they look absolutely beautiful and so much alike.
Apart from their height, the only point of difference is their eyes.
Kiks’ are brown like her dad’s, and the boys’ and Lu’s are blue like mine.
My handsome sons stand on either side, both with the same dark hair and eyes and standing at six foot three. They’re both tall, and both look so very much like their father.
I press my fingertips to my lips, then remember Chastity has just applied a fresh layer of lipstick and remove them.
“Can you get me a copy of that? I’ll pay whatever it costs.”
“Girl, hush. Of course, I’ll get you a copy.
I’ve captured a few great ones, I’ll send them across to you.
Look at this…” Kenzie swipes through more images until she stops at a picture of the girls and Cam.
Lu is turned to his left, with one hand on her hip while she’s looking up at his face.
Kiks is standing front on to Cam’s right, her head, too, is tilted up as she looks up at her dad with a smile on her lips.
Cam has his arms around each of them as he stares out across the room, and I know, I know just by the look on his face that he’s looking at me.
My insides fill with warmth and an overwhelming need to be in his arms.
“Excuse me,” I say to Kenzie before I stand and unclip my mic.
When I turn to face my husband, his eyes are already on me. He opens his arms, and I walk right into them, to my safe space. He holds me against him, refilling my empty emotional cup.
“The boys are in a pissing contest over who can flirt with Makenzie Wild harder,” Cam whispers in my ear.
I pull back so I can look up at him. “Who’s gonna get the girl?”
“George has more rizz. H is playing it cool.”
My grin widens. None of my kids have had a serious relationship yet.
We’ve met a couple of dates they’ve taken to events, but none of them have ever told us they’re serious with anyone.
I think the girls are a little bit guarded because of who they’re related to, whereas the boys wear their familial ties like a badge of honour, claiming the Layton connection acts as a babe magnet.
“Have a word with your children; they’re embarrassing me,” Kiki leans in and whispers in my ear.
“They’re more related to you than me. You have a word,” I whisper back as George throws his head back in exactly the same way Cam does and releases a big, booming laugh at something Kenzie just showed him on her phone.
Harry gives him the side-eye and feigns only mild interest when Kenzie offers up her mobile to show him whatever it is George just found so hilarious.
George catches us all watching and shrugs. “Dad took a chance on the rock star’s bird and did all right, so I might as well stand on business and shoot my shot,” he says with a cocky grin.
“She’ll eat you alive,” Kiki tells him.
“Hush your noise.” He presses his finger to his lips. “She may be taken, but at least we’re on the same continent,” he tells his sister, and my mumma senses are instantly on high alert.
“Why? Who’s not on the same continent?” I step out of Cam’s arms and turn to face my daughter, who’s currently flipping her middle finger at her brother.
“What continent? What are we talking about? Why you flipping him off? What d’you do to my sister?” Tallulah emerges from the butler’s pantry with a glass of Prosecco in her hand.
“Is it even midday yet?” I question.
Lu takes a sip from the stemless champagne flute.
“Does it matter? We’re about to get to the part where you meet Daddy. I’m gonna need a drink and popcorn for this. In fact, I think I speak for all my siblings when I say we’re all gonna need a drink for this part.”