Chapter 19
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
GEORGIA
I’m bone tired to the point of not even wanting another drink. Call me old, but all I really want right now is a shower, to take my makeup off, put my pyjamas on, and curl up with a cup of sleepy time tea.
And Cam.
With all my babies under one roof.
“We’re going to walk down to the pub and get some dinner. You and Dad wanna come?” Harry asks.
My eyes find Cam’s, who gives a swift headshake.
“Thanks, babe, but I’m knackered. A shower and bed are all I’m after tonight. You’re all staying here, though, right? We’ll do breakfast,” I promise him.
“Yeah, we’re all staying.”
The kids say their goodbyes to everyone and head out, leaving just me, Cam, Marley, Jim, and Len standing around our kitchen Island.
The door to the deck opens, and Ash and Makenzie, who I didn’t even know was still here, walk in.
Makenzie immediately says goodbye and makes her way back to the studio, where she says she has to pick up her equipment. I leave her to see her own way out.
Rude, I know, but did I mention how tired I am?
“You ready to go? I’m starving,” Ash declares before I get a chance to ask what she was doing outside with Kenzie.
“Whenever you are, my sweet. I was thinking maybe dinner for two with a view, tonight?” Marley suggests.
“Ohh, where you taking me, Rock Star? Somewhere nice, I hope?” Ash asks.
“Absolutely, baby. Home to our very own bed for a sixty-nine… Ooof!” is the sound my brother makes as soon as Ash elbows him in the ribs.
“You’re taking over Cam with the Dad jokes,” Len says before letting out a yawn, making me yawn, too. Soon, Marley follows suit, making us all laugh.
“Sorry,” Len apologises. “I had a shit night’s sleep last night.”
“Same,” Marley states. “I had the weirdest dream. I was at that theme park in Australia. Remember? The one with the big mouth that the kids were all scared of when we went there. I can’t remember if it was Melbourne or Sydney?”
“They have one in both places,” I say while trying to recall the name.
“Luna Park,” Len says with a click of his fingers.
“That’s it,” Marley agrees. “I was there. I think we were all there. I was in the mouth trying to run towards all of you and something was chasing me. I finally got out to daylight, and when I turned to look back, standing in the big mouth was Maca. He had his hands on his hips and was shaking his head at me.”
I get a stabbing pain in my temple as a memory, or maybe the recollection, of a dream fights to make itself known.
“Are you winding me the fuck up?” Len asks, all amusement now gone from his face. “Did you tell him?” he asks, turning to Jim. “About my dream? Have you told him?”
“I haven’t said a word. I didn’t even tell George,” Jimmie replies.
“Tell me what?” I ask Len as my scalp prickles.
“I had a dream that we had a load of Carnage merchandise made. The T-shirts were supposed to have the eye logo on them, but when they turned up, they all had The Rolling Stones’ big lips and tongue on them.
I phoned the supplier, and they kept saying this is what Maca ordered.
He said you and Marley had to wear them. ”
“He said he was going to haunt you for being big-mouthed fuckers who couldn’t keep a secret,” I say. “I dreamt of him, too.”
I feel dizzy and laugh a little nervously as soon as the memory of my dream explodes into my consciousness.
“Carla gave him a blow job,” I blurt. “After I lost baby M, before you caught them together at the Hampstead house, she gave him a blow job in the studio. He lied to you when you asked if there was anything going on between them,” I tell Marley.
“What?” Jimmie and Ash say in unison.
“What the fuck? That was your dream?” Len asks.
“It wasn’t…. They’re not…” I trail off.
How do I explain to my brothers, my husband, that my dead husband visits me? Are they dreams, or is it real? It feels real, or is that just wishful thinking on my part? “It was a dream—the dream I had last night,” I say, watching Cam as he moves to stand beside me.
Marley and Len are looking at each other while shaking their heads.
“You dreamed he called us big-mouthed fuckers, and we both dreamed about him and big mouths? What the actual fuck?” Len questions.
“And he told you he cheated?” Jimmie asks me.
I deflate, looking between Jim and my brothers. I know I have a confession to make. I think Len will be okay, but I’m not sure about Marley.
“He told me because I asked if he knew about…” I pause when I feel Cam move in behind me, pressing his chest into my back and wrapping his arms around me. His lips brush the top of my head.
“We fucked,” Cam says. “Georgia and me. While she was married. One time. It happened one time.”
Marley takes a step back, his face contorted in a sneer.
“You fucked?” He frowns harder. “While you were married to Maca, you two fucked?”
I feel Cam nod at the same time I do.
“You cut him out of your life for four fucking years, for what? He didn’t fuck anyone.”
“I know. I’m aware how much of a hypocrite it makes me, but it happened.”
“When?” He barks the word.
“Don’t fucking talk to her like that,” Cam warns quietly. “I get you’re pissed off, but…. Do. Not. Talk. To her. Like that.”
“I’ll talk to her—”
“No. No, you fucking won’t. My house. My wife. My fucking rules. You wanna raise your voice, you leave.” Cam’s tone is low, calm, and even. He doesn’t raise his voice, nor does he loosen the protective hold he has on me.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“I’m not,” Cam admits. “I told you earlier, Marls, that I begged her to leave him. If she’d have agreed to an affair, then we would’ve had one. She didn’t, wouldn’t, and that one time it happened, she was instantly remorseful and in floods of tears.”
“So, you’re telling me you dreamed Maca told you that he knew you two had fucked, then he confessed that Carla gave him a blow job?” Marley asks, his tone disbelieving.
“She did. We had security cameras in the studio. We had them set up all around your property. An alarm pinged because the doors were locked—probably by Carla, since she had keys. Because movement was detected by the sensors, the feed was looked at. Thankfully, it was monitored in-house and brought to my attention. If an outside company had monitored the footage. . .” Len shrugs.
“It would’ve been sold to the highest bidder.
Instead, I had it destroyed and told Maca I would do the same to him if he didn’t put an end to things.
He begged me, fucking cried and sobbed for me not to tell you.
He was broken, George. You both were, but I knew you loved each other. ”
I close my eyes against the pounding in my head and chest, but it just exaggerates the pain. Makes me more aware of their presence.
“No one knew.” Len turns to Jimmie. “I’m sorry. I know we don’t have secrets.”
“Well, I’ve found out over the past couple of days that’s bullshit, because apparently, we definitely do,” she snaps.
“Did you know about them? These two?” Len gestures to me and Cam while aiming his question at Jimmie.
I still. This isn’t what I wanted, but it is what I was afraid of when I agreed to do this interview.
“Yeah,” she says quietly. “But it wasn’t mine to share.”
“Same, baby girl. Same,” he tells her as he pulls her into him.
“You know?” Marls asks Ash.
She gives the barest of nods.
“I didn’t tell them till years later, after me and Cam were married. The only person who knew was Mum.”
“Mum?” my brothers question in unison.
I nod.
“You told your mum?” Cam asks.
Again, I nod.
“Was Maca pissed off?” Marley asks.
“What?” I turn to him.
“In your dream, was Mac pissed off?”
I shake my head in an attempt to stop the floaty feeling taking over me. “With Cam, yeah. And with you and Len.”
“What did we do?” Len asks.
“Typical Maca, pissed off with everyone except his Gia,” Marley whines before I can respond to Len.
“You for telling me about what Rocco and Haley did to him, and Marley for telling me about catching him and Carla together at our house, and her having an abortion. Then Cam for fucking his wife. But he also said he respected Cam for dealing with Rocco. Actually, he was pissed off with me as well. Pissed off because he’d asked me when he found out we’d bought Cam’s old house—the house Cam bought for us to live in.
We had a huge blow-up, and he asked me then if there was anything going on between us. I lied and said no,” I admit.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Marley holds his hands up.
“Fuck,” Cam whispers in my ear. “He didn’t know.
” Cam immediately jumps in. “Neither of them knew at first. Georgia had already fallen in love with the property and told Sean she wanted it. They arranged to come back and view it together, then Georgia found out I owned it,” Cam says, matter-of-fact.
“But no one told Mac, and you just let him buy it?” Marley asks as he shakes his head in disbelief.
All I can give is another feeble nod.
“You really are a piece of work, you know that, right?”
Again, I’m not sure if Marley’s question is rhetorical, but I answer anyway.
“I’m aware,” I reply.
“Is no one freaked out by this?” Jimmie asks.
“I fucking am,” Cam states.
“Well, you fucked his missus. You’ve probably got the most to be worried about. He’s gonna proper haunt you,” Marley says, and I can’t help it, I get the giggles.
Jimmie obviously finds it funny, too, as she lets out a snort while attempting to contain her laughter.
“Imagine if they put all this in the film,” Jimmie says.
I cover my face with my hands. My life is insane. It truly is stranger than fiction.
“I’m sorry,” Marley says.
I lower my hands to see my brother staring at me.
“Sorry I lost my shit. Sorry I raised my voice.” He holds his hand out to Cam, and they shake, then he steps in and kisses my cheek. “I said earlier that yours is the real epic love story. You and him. Everyone thinks you and Maca had the fairy tale, but really, it’s you and him.”
I turn and tilt my head so I can look at my husband.
“I’ve been lucky enough to have two great loves of my life, two great love stories, but I wouldn’t describe either of them as a fairy tale.”
Cam kisses my cheek, and my family take that as their cue to leave.
We say our goodbyes, and the instant I close the front door, Cam says, “Is Ash okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Why?”
“She didn’t say a word. Even when I told Marley to wind his neck in, I expected her to say something, but she didn’t say a word.”
I tried to think back over the evening, but so much has happened, I don’t remember whether Ash spoke up or not.
“I… honestly, babe, I’m exhausted. I’m literally running on empty. I’ll talk to her tomorrow, but right now, can we just shower and go to bed?”
“Of course we can,” he says as he pulls me against his broad chest and wraps me in his strong arms.
We stand there for a long moment. Just us. The house, our home, is unusually quiet now, especially after being so full of life, people, and noise these past few days.
“You hear that?” he asks.
“What?”
“The sound of our imperfect fairy tale.”
I step back to look up at him.
“Sean been coming to you in your dreams and giving you lessons in poetry and lyrics?” I ask.
“Has he fuck. I made that one up all by myself.’
“I love it.”
“Enough that it’ll get me anal?”
“Absolutely not. But if you make me a sleepy time tea, you might just get some front door action.”
“I’ll take it. Go get showered. I’m gonna lock up the house, then I’ll bring it up,” he says before he turns me around and smacks my arse.
“Watch out for Maca!” I call out as I head up the stairs.
“He don’t scare me. Bloke wore eyeliner, for fuck’s sake. What’s he gonna do? Draw on me? Sing me a song?” I hear him mumble on his way to the kitchen while I grin all the way up to our bathroom.
I turn on the shower, then connect my phone to the speakers.
“Romeo and Juliet” plays.
“Give me a fucking break.” I look to the ceiling, singing along to the song, that song, while I attempt to wash away the day.
I lie in bed staring into the darkness. It’s just gone three in the morning, and after a hot shower, a sleepy time tea, and an orgasm, I crashed out before nine last night. I vaguely recall stirring when the kids arrived home, but
have no idea what time that was. Until a few minutes ago, I’d been sleeping soundly.
Now I’m lying here, with Cam snoring beside me as I stare up at the ceiling with a million and one thoughts churning through my brain. Front and centre of those thoughts is Sean. Namely, his visits to me.
What are they? Are they real? Are they dreams? Something supernatural? My own mental health issues?
They’ve been happening for so long now—almost from the time I lost him—that I’ve never really questioned whether they’re real or not.
I’ve just accepted they happen and been grateful for that very brief connection without overthinking it too much.
I know, right? A first for me, because I didn’t want it to not be real.
But the last time he was here, the things he told me, the conversation we had, then for Lennon and Marley to have the dreams they did after Sean telling me they had big mouths, and he was going to haunt them…
What choice do I have but to accept that my dead husband somehow visits me in my dreams? How else do I explain Sean telling me about him and Carla? And Lennon, the only other person who knew, confirming the story?
I’m not religious, nor particularly spiritual. I’m more practical. But there is no practical way to explain this.
Apart from the stress of the past couple of days, mentally, I’ve been in a good place lately.
Early menopause caused me to have a bit of a wobble, but I’m out the other side of that now, supposedly sane while I lie here awake, waiting on my dead husband to turn up and explain exactly what the fuck is going on.
He doesn’t come and, eventually, through sheer exhaustion alone, I fall back asleep. A deep, dreamless sleep.
Right up until Sean’s voice shouts loud and clear in my ear:
“Marley!”
And I sit bolt upright in bed.