Chapter 21 #2
“Last week was a big week. This week’s going to be bigger. I think we all needed a blow out,” Cam says with his mouth pressed against my ear.
It causes goosebumps to erupt across my skin, but I’m far too hungover for sex. Then his words sink in.
“You doing okay with it all?” I question.
“Babe, as long as you’re doing okay, I’m doing okay. As long as the kids are happy, I’m happy.”
“Yeah, but you had to sit through a lot of my past last week, and there’ll be more this week.”
“I don’t have to sit through anything. I choose to. I’m here for you. I’m not letting you do this on your own.”
“I fucking love you,” I say and start to turn around, but Cam presses his weight into me, holding me in place.
“Don’t swear, and I know you do. That’s why I’m able to sit through it all. But do me a favour?”
“What?” I ask, a million and one different possible answers popping into my head, making it hurt even more.
“If you really love me, go get in the shower, and clean your teeth without turning around to face me, because you fucking stink.”
I snort out a laugh. “But I need to sit up and drink my coffee.”
“You can do that without turning to face me.”
“I don’t smell that bad,” I whine.
“Babe, believe me, you do.”
He rolls away, and I sit up slowly.
“Fuck, my head hurts,” I complain as I hold onto it and look around the room.
“Well, that’s what happens when you start on the cosmos, switch to red, then to champagne, and finish the night with shots,” he says as he climbs out of our bed.
“You let me do shots?”
“You ever tried stopping you, Jim, and Ash from doing anything when you’re all half cut?”
“Well, obviously not if I’m part of the equation.”
“Part of the problem, more like.”
I stick my tongue out at his remark, and he hands me my coffee and headache tablets.
“That thing has more fur on it than a polar bear’s arse,” he says, nodding at my tongue.
“You wouldn’t mind it licking the tip of your—”
“Noooo! Nope! I absolutely did not just hear that,” Lu says as she walks into the room.
“Serves you right for not knocking,” Cam tells her.
Folding her arms across her chest, she rolls her eyes at him.
I look from our daughter to my husband and press my lips together in an attempt not to laugh. My husband looks from our daughter to me, and I know exactly what’s going through his head.
“You!” He points my way.
I nod and smile before launching the pills down my throat, washing them down with a mouthful of coffee. There’s no point arguing because it’s true. My daughter is me to a T.
“Chastity’s here, and a van’s just pulled up with I don’t know who in it,” she tells me.
“What?” I almost screech. “What time is it?” I look around for my phone.
“Quarter to ten,” Lu says.
“I said you needed to get up and showered,” Cam says as he heads into our bathroom and turns on the shower.
I chug the rest of my coffee down, grab a chocolate biscuit out of the packet, then climb out of bed.
“Jesus, Mother. Naked, much?” Lu says with a head shake.
“They’re just tits, Lu. We’ve both got them. Besides, I’ve got my knickers on.”
“Yeah, but mine ain’t as good as yours, and that little scrap of fabric doesn’t even cover your skinny arse.”
I flip her both my middle fingers as I head to my bathroom.
Still shaking her head, she turns and walks away.
“I’ll tell your entourage you’ll be ten minutes,” she calls out.
“Twenty,” I reply.
An hour later, wearing my Boomtown Rats “I Don’t Like Mondays” tee, I’m in the chair as Chastity puts the finishing touches to my face while Oasis’s “Champagne Supernova” plays quietly in the background. It’s not coming through our speakers, so one of the crew must be playing it from their phone.
After blasting me with setting spray, Chastity takes a step back.
“There, perfection. All you needed was a bit of a glow and some colour on your cheeks.”
“What about the bags under my eyes?”
“No bags,” she says. “They were a bit puffy when you first came down, but the gel patches have sorted them out. Honestly, George, you have amazing skin. It means I don’t have to go heavy on the foundation or concealer.
Just a light base, a swipe of bronzer, a nude lip, and you’re done without looking done. ”
“Thank you,” I tell her before taking a swig from my bottle of water.
I’d never met this woman before this project, but I really like her. I think it’s because she comes across as one of us. She’s a no bullshit East Ender, a bit like Cam.
“Still got a headache?” she asks.
“Yep.”
“Drink this.” She pulls a bottle of coconut water from her bag and hands it to me. “Full of electrolytes, trust me. Knock it back, and you’ll be fine in ten.”
I take the cardboard bottle from her, crack the cap, and swig about half the contents.
“Thanks, love. Someone needs to remind me I’m too old to mix my drinks and remind my husband not to let me drink shots.”
“Would you have listened? Girl, I get the feeling that man lets you get away with far too much.”
Her words cause a strange sensation in my belly.
“You think I take the piss?” I ask her.
She takes a step back from where I’m sitting in my makeup chair, and her hand goes to her hip as she studies me for a minute.
“You can be honest,” I tell her. “I know I can be a lot, and I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.”
“I… I don’t really know you, but, yeah, from what I’m seeing and what I heard last week, you can be a lot. I also get why you wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But do you know what that man does?”
“Tell me.”
“He lets you be you, but he’s not afraid to tell you when being you is wrong, and that’s why you two work.”
A lump instantly forms in my throat as I process her words.
“You know what, as different as Sean and Cam’s personalities are, that’s what they both do—or did, in Sean’s case.
They let me be me, and even if being me means I’m being a bit of a cunt, they’ll let me know that’s what I’m being.
They let me know they love me regardless, and they’ll be there to pick up the pieces when I realise I’ve fucked up.
How lucky am I to have found two men who have given me that? ”
“Girl, not just two men who have given you that, but look at you the way Sean did, the way Cam does, and love you unconditionally. I’m not gonna say you’re one lucky woman, because your husband and your babies died.
What I am going to say is that you’re loved that way because that’s what you deserve. ”
My tears spill over as I shake my head. “I don’t think I deserve either of them, but I’m so very grateful for them anyway.” I say the words through trembling lips. I’m tired and hungover. Today is not the day to be putting the control I have of my emotions to the test.
“I’ll say less because these tears mean I’ve got to fix your face again,” Chastity says, reopening her kit bag.
“I thought you said I didn’t need much work?”
“I lied. You’re one ugly, ‘ol, craggy-faced bitch, and I’ve no fucking clue what them fine men see in you,” she says, making me laugh while she dabs under my eyes.
Ten minutes later, I’m mic’d up, under the lights, and back sitting on the interrogation couch. The room’s very quiet since I have no audience right now. It’s just me, what’s left of my hangover, Daniel, and the crew.
“We good to go?” Daniel asks.
I give him a tight-lipped smile and shrug, because, no, I’m not. I know what we’re heading towards, and I’m in no way prepared.
It’s something I lived through and something I’ve lived with for twenty-five years, and the only reason I’m prepared to talk about things now is that for twenty-five years there has been so much speculation and so many rumours that I can now put right while making some money—possibly a lot of money for our foundation.
“To recap, you’re back with Sean, Jimmie has married Lennon, Ashley’s with Marley—actually, married to Marley, unbeknownst to you and the rest of the world—and you settle into life as the girlfriend of a rock star. Why not his wife?”
I steeple my fingers and rub them together while I formulate my answer.
“We went through a pretty traumatic and very public break-up, and in those four years that we were apart, we changed. We grew. There’s a huge difference to the way you think and feel at sixteen than the way you do at twenty.
Same as there is between twenty and thirty.
We needed time to get to know each other again.
We needed to work out if we felt the same, or if we were just in love with the kids we used to be. ”
“And that took you ten years?”
“No,” I say with a headshake and a smile, just as Daniel glances over my shoulder. He focuses back on me in an instant, but he looked away long enough to let me know someone else has entered the room.
“We knew straight away that we still loved each other, but did we love each other enough to let go of the past and move forward?”
I pause, feeling a little bit paranoid about who might be listening. I take a quick glance behind me to see Jimmie, Len, and Ash all sitting on the stools around the island, facing me.
“Where’s Marley?” I ask.
“Hanging,” Ash says with a smile. “How the fuck are you up there looking like that and functioning after yesterday?”
“Chastity’s magic and coconut water,” I tell her. “Do an Uber Eats and send out for some.”
“On it,” Jim says, pulling her phone out of her Chanel Maxi Hobo bag.
“Is that…? How’d you get that?” I ask or maybe demand to know. The bag’s from their autumn/winter collection and not yet for sale.
“Bitch, you’re not the only one with contacts,” she says as she leans in and kisses Len’s cheek.
I raise my brows. “Really? You got her one, and not me?”
“If by her, you mean my wife, then yes. They’d only let me have one, and imagine the shit I’d be in if I gave it to you. Besides, you’ve got your own contacts. Get your own bag,” Len tells me.
“I don’t want one now. They’re common,” I say and stick my tongue out before turning back to face Daniel, whose mouth is slightly open as he watches our interaction.