Chapter 28
LEXI
Jonah surveyed the McDonald’s with the attached play area, looking distrustful.
“This is where we’re going to have dinner?” he asked.
I laughed. “This is where we’re going to enjoy dinner,” I insisted while Evie ran into the play area. I looked around for the large tablets to order our meals.
After asking Jonah what he’d like, to which he raised one skeptical eyebrow, I nudged him playfully with my elbow. “Go on. I’m sure you’ve eaten at McD’s before.”
He stared at the menu with distrust before shaking his head. “Never,” he added, barely parting his lips. “I’ve never eaten at chains.”
I rolled my eyes. “Dear God, help me. Here, let me order for you. I promise it’s going to be good.”
He gave me a doubtful look and grinned. “You’re making decisions for me?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’m learning from a certain bossy friend of mine,” I said with a grin as I walked over to the cashier.
After ordering two Big Macs, both with extra tomatoes and pickles, and a cheeseburger for Evie, I walked back to where Jonah stood, watching Evie.
We watched her in silence, while Jonah turned at my presence. His face softened as I looked up at him.
Our food arrived, and I grabbed the tray while Jonah brought Evie back to me. We sat down, and Evie attacked her burger hungrily while Jonah stared at his with suspicion etched across his handsome face.
“I forgot to check,” I joked. “Is this branch of McDonald’s Michelin-starred?
” I made a show of looking around. “You know what?” I said, turning back to Jonah, who was eyeing me with a serious expression, unable to laugh.
“I bet it is, and they just forgot to hire the obnoxious ma?tre d’ that goes with the whole Michelin-star thing.
” I winked before biting into my burger. It was good—predictable taste, cheap.
“I didn’t know you ate at places like this,” he said after a beat.
“Admit it. You’re a snob.” I grinned after a moment.
“I have minimal requirements,” he insisted. “Cleanliness, good ambiance, and a lack of E. coli. That’s all.”
I smiled.
It was fun getting to know the kind of guy he was. My one-night stand had turned out to be so much more than that.
He paused, as though reminded of something.
“One time, one of my college buddies took me to a food truck when we were in the Caribbean. It was fantastic. We went back for seconds. Only, once we got back to our rooms later that night, we had the worst food poisoning ever. So bad, in fact, that I didn’t think I’d make it to the next day.
We survived, but we had to spend a few days in the hospital, getting IVs.
That experience ruined small restaurants for me ever since. ”
“Now, that sounds horrible,” I murmured.
We sat in silence for a minute as Jonah finally took a bite of his food. He chewed and chewed while Evie and I watched … with bated breath.
He swallowed, and Evie and I exhaled in unison.
“He likes it,” Evie announced, and I laughed.
“I think so too,” I whispered back to her while Jonah tried to keep his face impassive. “But he’s never going to admit it, Evie.”
Jonah coughed. “It was decent,” he said, but took his next bite more readily.
Evie and I high-fived and did a finger-squiggly thing while Jonah shook his head at us.
“We would’ve been heartbroken if you hadn’t liked it,” I said, putting my hands dramatically on my chest while Evie nodded.
“Well, I’ll let you know for sure, based on the number of visits I make to the bathroom later tonight.”
“Mind you, if it’s just the bathroom and not the hospital, we’ll count it as a win.” I winked while Jonah shuddered.
An hour later, the three of us walked back home. Evie enjoyed skipping ahead of us while Jonah and I talked softly.
“Tell me something,” he said, as we walked. I leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked, his arm curving around my waist, pulling me close. This comfort with each other was something new, different from the passion we’d shared during sex.
“What does Dylan want?”
“I’m not sure,” I said with a sad smile. “After I left with Evie, he never chased me. He agreed that we should lead our separate lives.” I drew in a deep breath. “But now he’s back, saying he wants a relationship with me again. That he wants us to be a family.”
I shook my head, stupefied at how Dylan could even think it was possible.
“Are you interested in a relationship with Dylan?” Jonah asked.
Heat flashed across my cheeks as I considered it. I shook my head. “I’m not in the least bit interested in him. I left him around three years ago, and I still don’t consider him a reliable partner.”
My gaze dropped to my hands, and I sighed.
“Growing up, things at home weren’t really stable.
Dylan and I were in high school together, and we went to college together too.
I felt Dylan was dependable in a way my mom hadn’t been.
I convinced myself that he was there for me, in ways my Mom hadn’t been.
But while that was true in some ways, I was glaringly wrong about the kind of person he really was. ”
I swallowed hard. Dylan had been someone different than what I’d expected. “Dylan isolated me from my friends when I got to college. He wanted my life to revolve around him, and I went along with it. For a long time.”
We slowed down to watch Evie pick up a stone from the sidewalk. In a minute, she resumed walking, stone clutched firmly in her hand.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I continued.
“Until I got pregnant. Dylan was initially supportive. We moved to a two-bedroom apartment from our studio, and he took two jobs. He gave up on college, but continued to work nearby, and we managed. But once Evie was born and I longed to meet someone, anyone, to talk to, Dylan forbade it outright.”
My voice tightened. “The last straw was when I couldn’t even meet my mom.”
Thinking about those days made me resent Dylan and his actions even now. I’d been so naive and foolish to believe everything he said.
Evie turned around to check in on us, before resuming her walk. She knew the way home and didn’t need me to lead.
“So, anyway, once I realized he’d lied to me about the birth control, I found the courage to stand up for myself, and I walked out on him.”
I could see the concern in his eyes as my heart raced. I’d confessed things to him that I’d never even told Sasha, and I couldn’t understand why he looked so troubled.
“That’s really horrible of him, Lexi,” he said at last, but the concern in his eyes didn’t go away.
His hands pulled me closer as he brushed a quick kiss to my lips. I closed my eyes as the kiss swept over my skin.
“I’ll never take anything away from you, Lexi,” he said. “Not Evie or your friends or your job. That’s a promise.”
I believed him. I glanced at my hand in his, wondering how long we’d walked like this, hand in hand. It felt intimate, cozy, and unlike the heated exchanges and passion I’d come to associate with Jonah. This was different.
“You’ve met Evie. We’ve had dinner together. I guess this is where I bid you goodbye.”
We stopped outside my apartment, with Evie skipping up the steps ahead of us. I could see the longing in his eyes and felt it reflected in me. I wanted to spend the evening and the night with him. Even if it were the two of us curled up on the couch, watching TV, I wished I could have that.
Look at me, aspiring for things a normal couple would want. I almost laughed at myself.
We walked up the stairs to the door, where Evie was waiting, and I unlocked it. Evie ran in, squealing when she found Sasha inside.
When I turned back, Jonah was smiling at me. I liked the way he smiled when he was with me. It was not like the charming smile that was meant to get something out of you. It felt more honest, true to Jonah.
We kept our eyes on each other.
“By the way, I found the note,” he said, in a low voice. “The one you wrote on the napkin.”
I angled my face to his, trying to recall what I might have written. “Don’t tell me. I embarrassed myself again?”
He shook his head, looking a little rueful. “No, it only made me realize how special you are, and what a fool I am for letting Cora scare me away from you.”
His expression shifted, and I caught a flicker of vulnerability.
“I’ve spoken to my Dad about Cora’s unexpected appearance at work,” Jonah said immediately, seeing my expression.
“He’ll keep her in check, for now. But,” Jonah reached for his phone from his pocket and pulled up something on it.
Turning it to me, he showed me a picture. “That’s my Mom,” he said simply.
I took a closer look at the woman in the picture. She seemed to be in her late thirties, had hair that matched Jonah’s dark blonde hair, and a careful smile that hinted at a deeper pain.
“Helen Gallagher,” Jonah continued. “She was a member of the staff at Dad’s home.
She got pregnant with me, lost her job, and eventually lost me too because she couldn’t support me financially.
” His voice was quiet as he put the phone back in his pocket.
“I don’t want any of that for you, Lexi.
That’s why it’s so important Cora doesn’t find out anything more about us. ”
“There is no us, remember?” I asked.
“Do you want there to be one?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” I said.
“To me, it does. Do you?” he insisted.
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply while I considered the question I already knew the answer to. A deep resounding yes. “I do.”
When I opened my eyes, he was smiling.
“Good,” he said, stepping closer. “Because I’ve tried my damnedest to stay away from you and Evie.
And this is the first time in my life I’ve failed at something so miserably.
” He held my gaze. “I’ve now decided that if I’m going to fail at something, I’d rather fail spectacularly, don’t you think? ”
I pulled him closer to me and gripped his hand in mine, interlocking our fingers. He turned, and I gave him a deep kiss, which I hoped said all I needed to convey.
“Because I want you too. Very, very badly,” I whispered.