Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gazing into her expressive eyes, Carson was fully aware that his entire life was spinning out of control and could never be put back together the way it’d been before—and he wasn’t doing a damned thing to stop it.
“‘Everything’ is a big word,” Cresley said tentatively.
“It’s a big change. You and Ty have made me want something that I thought wasn’t for me.
And in case you’re wondering, I was already wanting it before I got stabbed.
But coming pretty close to dying helps to bring some perspective.
We think we’ve got all the time in the world to figure out our crap, so it’s a shock to find out that isn’t true. ”
“It was a shock for me, too, how you went from perfectly fine to fighting for your life in a matter of seconds… I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from the sight of you lifeless and covered in blood.” She shuddered, as she had every time that horrifying image popped into her mind.
“I’m so sorry you had to see that. I hope we can replace that memory with much better ones and that over time you won’t think of it that much.”
She moved her head so she could see his face. “That’d be good. But you’re talking about over time…”
He grinned. “You caught that, huh?”
“I did.”
“I was thinking that maybe you might want to take on a massive project and show him what it’s like to be in a… um…”
“A relationship?” she asked, her lips quivering with amusement.
“Yes. That.”
“Only if you can say the word.”
“Do I have to?”
“I think so.”
“Fine,” he said with an exaggerated grimace. “I’m suggesting we attempt an actual… relationship.”
“Was that so hard?”
“It was excruciating.”
She laughed. “I’m so proud of you, my brave little boy.”
“Aw, thanks. But you should know… I’m apt to screw it up here and there. I’ll be counting on you to keep me in line.”
“I can do that. But…”
“What?”
“Your siblings will be upset about this. Well, not Julian, but the others…”
“I’m aware. I can handle them. And besides, after this last week, we’re kind of out of the closet with them.”
“That’s true, but will you tell them we’ve decided to go official?”
“Do we need to announce it?”
“To them? Yes, we do.”
“Why?” he asked on a protracted moan. “That’ll be like poking a hornet’s nest.”
“Because it’s not official in your world until they know.”
“Why do you gotta be so observant? It’s annoying.”
Cresley laughed at his petulant expression. “Truth hurts, my friend. They’re the most important people in your life, and they need to know that you’ve crossed the line into the dark side with Julian.”
“They’ll never forgive me—or you.”
“Eh, we’ll be fine.”
“You won’t let their reactions run you off, will you? It’s apt to be intense, especially with the parents deciding to rekindle and all that.”
“I can handle it, and no, I won’t let them run me off.”
“You promise? We can be a tough crowd.”
“I’ve seen that already through Isla’s point of view. I know what I’m getting myself into, and I’ve decided you might be worth it. We’ll see. Jury’s still out as to whether you’ve got what it takes to be a boyfriend.”
“I’ve never been one of those before.”
“Not once ever?”
“Nope. When I tell you I steered clear, I meant it.”
“Good God. You really are a babe in the woods, aren’t you?”
“Big-time.”
“I have one request before we officially make it official.”
“What’s that?”
“No matter what happens between us, even if it goes south in epic fashion—”
“Which it will not.”
“You can’t know that.”
“If it goes south, it’ll happen gently.”
“So we hope, but regardless… Ty is already attached to you, and it would be important to me that you try to stay involved with him. That is, unless you do something horrible like cheat on me, in which case you’re dead to us.”
“Who in their right mind would cheat on Cresley Dane?”
“You’d be surprised.”
“Well, I won’t. That much I can promise you. After spending almost ten years tracking cheating spouses for a living, I’m all set with that drama. If I want out, I’ll tell you, and I’ll never stop seeing Ty as long as that’s okay with you.”
“Now that we’ve negotiated the end of our relationship, how do you feel about the beginning?”
“Kiss me.”
“Right now?”
“This very second.”
Cresley moved carefully to get closer to him and pressed her lips against his.
“Mmm, yes, more of that, please.”
She placed a hand on his face and kissed him again.
“In case you’re still wondering, I’m feeling pretty good about the beginning of our… relationship.”
“You’re getting better at saying the word.”
“It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.”
“Because you’ve never said it before.”
“You’ve found me out.”
“You’re not going to suddenly change your mind about this, are you?”
“I don’t think so.” Carson wanted to give her a guarantee, but such things weren’t possible in situations like this. He knew better than most how often “relationships” didn’t work out.
She kept her head on his chest while he ran his fingers through her hair, feeling calmer than he would’ve expected after making a commitment to a woman for the first time in his life.
Their interlude was interrupted by his ringing phone.
Cresley fished it out of his pocket and handed it to him.
“It’s my mom.”
“You should take that.” When she would’ve gotten up, he kept her right where she was. “Don’t go.” He slid the button to take the call. “Hi, Mom.”
“I heard you got released.”
“I did.”
“How’re you feeling?”
“I’m doing okay.”
“Where are you?”
“With my friend Cresley in the Canyon. We’re hiding out in Isla’s rental until Cresley’s ex is found.”
“Is it safe for you to be there?”
“Yes, Mother. Don’t worry.”
“Well, that’s not likely. Can we visit?”
“Sure. Just give me a day or two to get settled, and I’ll send you the address.”
“Do you need anything?”
He buried his fingers in Cresley’s soft hair, surprised by the profound contentment that came with having someone to call his own. “I’ve got everything I need.”
“What did he say?” Corbin asked Kate after she spoke with Carson.
“That he’s with Cresley and has everything he needs.”
“So that’s an official thing, then?”
“Who knows with our children? They don’t kiss and tell.”
“Can we see him?”
“He said to give him a couple of days to get settled, and he’ll send me the address. They’re staying at Isla’s rental in the Canyon while Cresley’s ex is still on the lam.”
“Is that safe?”
“He said it was fine.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I, but what can we do? It’s not like he’d listen to us.”
Corbin put his arm around her and guided her to the sofa in the sunroom at her place in Santa Barbara. With their nerves shot from the trauma of the past week, they’d come up the night before, after visiting Carson in the hospital and learning he was due to be released.
“He seems quite taken with Cresley,” Kate said.
“And Julian with Isla. These are big developments for our commitment-averse children.”
“I overheard something when we were at the hospital that I’ve been wanting to tell you when we had a minute to catch our breath.”
“What’s that?” Corbin asked.
“I think Griffin has a daughter with an ex-girlfriend.”
His shocked expression was priceless. “What? No way. I would’ve heard about that.”
“Not necessarily. You know how secretive our children are.”
“So that would make us…”
“I believe ‘grandparents’ is the term most commonly used.”
“Haha. No way. I’m not ready for that.”
“Ready or not…”
Corbin blew out a deep sigh. “What’re we going to do about the kids, Katie?”
“I don’t know. They’ll barely even look at us since TMZ outed us, not that I blame them.”
“I’ve gotten emails from all the Hollywood shows wanting us for an exclusive interview. Some of them are even offering big payouts.”
“I’ve gotten the same messages.”
“Maybe we ought to go that route to tell our side of the story.”
Kate curled her hand around his, which gave him a warm feeling of homecoming with the only woman he’d ever loved.
“The kids wouldn’t appreciate us bringing more attention to the story than we’ve already gotten,” she said.
“They haven’t given us much choice since they refuse to engage with us.”
“It’s a bad idea, Corb. We’re already on extremely thin ice with them. Things have been very tense with the girls at the office.”
“Same for me with the boys. They’re mostly ignoring me, which can’t go on forever.”
“We need to have some patience with them,” Kate said, “and give them time to get used to seeing us together, and perhaps eventually, they’ll want to understand what brought us back to each other.”
“That might be wishful thinking.”
“Despite our many failings, we were decent parents. Surely that has to count for something.”
“No, we weren’t, Katie. I fucked up royally, and all of you suffered as a result.”
“We share equal blame for what happened.”
“That’s not true,” he said with another sigh. “It happened because of me accusing you of something horrendous.” When he thought about that now, he felt nothing but shame for the way he’d treated the mother of his nine children.
“In the beginning, maybe, but I share in the blame for the despicable way we handled the divorce and custody battle. I wish we had those years to do over.”
“As do I, but there’s no going back. We can only do our best to make the future better for ourselves and them.”
“You really think we have a prayer in hell of repairing our relationships with them?” she asked.
“As long as we’re still here, there’s hope.”
“Not if they won’t talk to us about anything other than work.”
“You’re right that it’ll take a lot of patience.”
“You’re pathologically impatient,” Kate said with a laugh.
“You’re not much better.”
“That’s fair.”
“If we give them some time to get used to the idea, perhaps it’ll start to become no big deal to them. It was already kind of like that at the hospital.”
“Only because they didn’t care about anything other than Carson when we were there.”
“Still, they saw us coming and going together, and no one had anything to say about it.”
“I’m sure they’ve had plenty to say about it to each other,” Kate said with a sigh.
That their children were extremely close was a point of pride to them, but they knew their bitter divorce had bonded the siblings in a shared trauma they had caused. “No doubt.”
“That awful night, when we were waiting to hear if our Carson would survive,” Kate said, “I looked over at Jackson at one point and noticed him staring at us with a bewildered expression, as if trying to make sense of it.”
“Keep in mind that it seemingly came out of nowhere for them, while that’s not how it happened for us.”
“I hate that we’ve hurt them. Again.”
“Are you… reconsidering things?” Corbin asked, hoping against hope that she wasn’t.
“No, no, nothing like that. I want to find a way back to them, and since TMZ forced us to go public before we were ready, they seem further from us than ever.”
“I want a way back, too, but they’re adults with their own lives, and we can’t force them to engage with us. I’ve been thinking a lot about how they’d have nothing to do with us if it wasn’t for the firms.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“Of course it is, Katie. Think about your interactions with them. Is it ever anything more than business? Because mine aren’t.
They give me the bare minimum required to do the job, and that’s it.
I never see them outside the office or talk to them about anything that isn’t work-related.
I was the last to know that Julian had fallen for Isla. ”
“I think I found out after you did.”
“Which proves my point. I never see the girls. You never see the boys. Despite the fact that we each work with some of them, we’re alienated from our children.
They’re rightfully pissed that we’re back together after everything we put them through.
My dad read me the riot act when I drove him to the hospital.
He said, ‘Haven’t you learned anything from the past? ’”
“I think we’ve both learned a lot.”
“No question that with age comes wisdom, but that doesn’t erase the mistakes of the past, and we made a lot of them.”
“What do you suggest we do?” Kate asked.
Corbin thought about that for a long moment, trying to organize the thoughts that’d been running through his mind in the days since they’d nearly lost Carson.
“We tackle it one-on-one with each of them. We show up. We give them our time, our attention and our love. We keep doing that over and over and over again, and hopefully, we begin to write a new story with them.”
“I like that idea, but what do we do when they start to ask questions about what happened between us back in the day? They’ve always wanted to know what went so wrong, and we’ve dodged that question for all this time.”
“We tell them that’s between us and it’s going to stay that way. We can never tell them the truth about what drove us apart.”
“That needs to stay locked in the vault forever.”
“Agreed.”
“So where do we begin?”
“With Carson,” Corbin said. “He’ll be recovering for quite some time, and his parents should be front and center, helping with anything he needs.”
“What if he doesn’t want us there?”
“He said we can see him when he gets settled, so he’s already said he’s open to it. Let’s hope his second chance at life comes with a bit of forgiveness.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“I’ll think of something, maybe work-related, that I need his help with. Stick with me, kid. We’ll figure this out.”
Kate rested her head on his shoulder. “I haven’t been this happy since before it all blew up.”
“Neither have I.”
“I won’t be truly happy, though, until we find a way to make amends to our children.”
“I know, sweetheart, but as long as we’re all still breathing, it’s possible to fix this.”
“I sure hope you’re right.”