Chapter 20
TWENTY
SOPHIE
As we sat at the table in the restaurant, my hands surrounded the thin stem of the extra-filthy martini the waitress had just delivered.
I brought it up to my mouth, smelling the brine and vodka before my lips surrounded the glass, and I took a sip.
It didn’t matter that I’d gotten off last night in the most lustful way, my body finally satisfied; I needed this drink.
After all the Colson talk between my brother and Troy, not to mention Colson getting my number and texting me, I’d also earned this drink.
“No toast?” Hayden held his bourbon in the air.
Dottie had ordered a vodka lemonade, her way of being daring. My girl had a Shirley Temple. And everyone’s glass was in the center of the table, waiting for mine to join.
“Oops.” I extended my arm, joining the others, and since no one said anything, I announced, “To family.”
Dottie’s smile was warmer than the air outside, and the way she looked at Hayden, my daughter, and me with such a motherly stare made me miss home even more.
“It feels so good to have you all here.” She put her hand on Abbi’s shoulder.
“And to be back with my Abbi girl.” As Abbi turned toward her, Dottie put her fingers under Abbi’s chin.
“Do you know I held you when you were only a few hours old?”
“Was I sooo little?” Abbi asked.
“You were a peanut,” Hayden said.
“He’s right,” Dottie replied, pushing up her glasses. “You were little and perfect, and you snuggled right into me. I’ll never forget it.”
Neither would I.
While they took their first drink, I went in for my second, which was just as good as the previous.
My eyes closed as my throat took down another swallow, with hopes that each one would erase a little more of Colson from my mind.
He still had this vicious control over my body that I couldn’t explain, especially given that he was a man I hated.
So, why did I think about him so much? Why did he have the power to make me tingle?
Of course, what hadn’t helped were the texts he sent.
He wanted to come over tonight.
He wanted to …
I know your body. Your cravings. I know your need to feel submissive, which you didn’t allow me to satisfy. Therefore, I know you’re fucking dying for me to tie you up.
Every pore was awakening like he was blowing against me. Every inch of skin was yearning for his caress. My pussy ached for friction, whether that came from his finger, tongue, both, or that deliciously pierced dick. I wanted—
“Mommy, I’m sooo hungry.”
When my eyes opened, my little girl was gazing at me to solve her starvation, which was equivalent to throwing myself into a cold plunge.
I recrossed my legs, squeezing my thighs together, taking a long pull from my glass to give those thoughts a final push.
Dottie tickled Abbi, and my girl melted into Dottie’s arms. “You just ate all those cookies a few hours ago. You can’t be sooo hungry.”
Abbi giggled. “I can always eat cookies, Dot!”
I handed Abbi the tablet from my purse. “We’re going to order in a few minutes, baby. Do you want …” My voice trailed off, as she was completely ignoring me now, fully invested in whatever was on the screen. Hunger, I was sure, was the furthest thing from her mind.
“Back to the old cookie tricks, huh?” Hayden teased Dottie, his fingers brushing through the side of his beard.
A beard that reminded me of—
Stop it, Sophie.
“I hope that means you brought me some?”
“Of course I did. They’re in the car.” She pointed behind her, toward the entrance of the restaurant. “I made sure the driver kept the air-conditioning on so the chocolate chips wouldn’t melt.”
Hayden patted his stomach, his polo tucked into his pants, showing nothing but flatness. Even before my brother had a home gym, he would go for a several-mile run on the beach every day, followed by at least an hour workout session. Convenience had only made him buffer.
“Dottie, I need to marry a woman like you.”
She waved the air. “You? Get married? Will I be alive to see that day?”
Dottie had gotten divorced before I even met her. She had a little girl a couple of years younger than me, closer to Hayden’s age, and Lucy had become like a sister to us. Wherever Dottie was, Lucy wasn’t usually too far behind.
My brother nodded toward me. “This one’s no better.”
I lifted my martini again. “Do not shift the topic to me. I’m innocent in all of this.”
“Innocent, but S-I-N-G-L-E,” Dottie said, spelling out the last word.
“Abbi isn’t listening—are you, baby?” I laughed when there was no response from my daughter. “Besides, Abbi knows Mom is all about her and doesn’t have time for anything else besides work, so nothing you say will surprise her.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
I looked at my brother, who had just spoken. “Don’t tell me you’re going to start in on the you need to be dating talk when I can turn it right around on you and say the same thing.”
“You’re older.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” I smiled at him.
“Neither of you is getting any younger.” Dottie crossed her hands on top of her plate. “Take it from someone who knows this well. I’m not saying my years were wasted. I have so much to look back on and be proud of.”
Before she could say another word, I cut in with, “You raised our whole family, Dottie.” I reached for her hand. “And you gave us much, much more than you had to …” Once again, I didn’t need to finish that sentence. She knew exactly what I was referring to. “You have a lot to be proud of.”
She clasped my fingers. “That’s why I have no regrets.
I love the life I’ve lived. But would it have been nice to share it with someone?
To have help with Lucy?” Her gaze shifted to me, like she wanted to emphasize the single-parent point.
“And once Lucy went off to college, I would have liked to have a home that wasn’t empty.
And someone to travel with, to talk to at the end of my workday and express all the pent-up feelings I harbored—because in my line of work, as you can imagine, there are many.
” She pushed up her glasses. “I wish I had made it a priority to find someone special.”
“It’s not too late,” I told her.
She squeezed me. “Who would want me?”
“Dottie! Don’t you dare say that. Plenty of men would want you.” I shook her fingers, like I was trying to punish her. “You’re only in your sixties, and you’ve got it going on, girl. Don’t act like you’re on your deathbed. You’re far from that.”
She pointed at her forehead. “Do you see these wrinkles?” She then nodded toward Hayden. “You and Jones and Callum and Talon and Leo gave these to me.”
Hayden put his arms on the table, his brows rising. “And Sophie didn’t?”
Dottie snorted. “She wasn’t the one trying to skydive off dirt piles or jump from the roof to dunk a basketball.” She patted her heart. “Or the time you boys took the golf cart to the pond to see if it would float …”
I laughed, remembering many of those episodes. “I kept things fresh in different ways.”
“You sure did.” Dottie grinned at me. “Anyway, the whole point is, not even Botox can fill these grooves. I look haggard and tired and—”
“Are you saying I need to find you a man, Dottie?” Hayden rimmed his bourbon with his finger before lifting it. “You know, I know a lot of people. Men the same age as you who are worth—”
She released my hand to point at my brother. “Absolutely not. Don’t even think about it, Hayden. You will do no such thing.” She let out a long breath. “I just want you two to learn from me and hear me out because when I say you don’t get these years back, I mean that.”
Her attention turned to me. “When you came into my life at eleven years old, I knew you could do it all. I saw it in your scared eyes and your dirt-smudged cheeks.” She gave me a soft smile.
“I thought to myself, This girl can’t be stopped.
” She paused. “I was right.” Her shoulders shook a little, adding to her point.
“You can have it all, Sophie. You can be a mom, a top attorney, and a wife—if that’s what you choose.
But don’t avoid the latter because of time.
Not when time moves so fast, and it’s not something you can rewind. ”
Her head whipped toward Hayden. “I’m talking to you, too, there.”
“I hear you,” Hayden replied.
As I held my martini, I listened intently. Everything she said made perfect sense.
And in all the years I’d been single with a membership to Lush, I had never mentally obsessed over anyone like I did with Colson.
Sure, there were others at Lush who had satisfied me.
But the sensation that had pulsed through me when I saw Colson there the second time, that was an entirely new feeling.
The same sensation that had trickled through me when I came out of the restroom last night and saw him at the bar.
Oh God.
The vodka I was sipping wasn’t turning me gentle. It wasn’t easing the emotions I had for that man. I truly didn’t know if we could be in the same room for an extended period of time without wanting to verbally whip one another.
But this was the closest I’d ever gotten to wanting more.
“Hayden, what’s good here? I’ve never been.” Dottie opened her menu.
“Everything. Especially the seafood,” he said.
Despite needing to order for Abbi and me and having no idea what either of us wanted since I hadn’t even looked at my menu, I reached into my purse and grabbed my cell, pulling up Colson’s last text.
As my fingers hovered over the screen, I felt a set of eyes on me, and the feeling made me glance up. I scanned the room, looking for the stare and who it belonged to. I couldn’t locate it, but what I did find, directly across the right side of me, was a sight that made the air in my throat hitch.
No.
It couldn’t be.
I blinked several times to make sure what I was seeing was correct. Each time my eyes readjusted, the view became clearer, confirming what I suspected.
Colson was in the bar of the restaurant, sitting at a small high-top table.
His hand was cupped around a tumbler, and he was smiling and laughing.
Not because he was watching TV in the bar or having a conversation with a fellow solo diner who stood near his table.
It was because there was a woman with dark hair and a stunning profile sitting across from him, his concentration unbreakable as he gazed at her, soaking in everything she was saying.
I knew that stare all too well. Because it was the same way he always looked at me.
I continued to focus on them, unable to stop, my resentment building with each change in his expression and the way his tongue swiped the inside of his lips before he spoke.
At one point, he reached forward, gently grabbing a chunk of her hair and running his fingers through it.
As soon as he reached the bottom of her strands, she clutched the back side of his palm, staring at it, grinning, and laughing soon after, like those same fingers had just spanked her.
They probably had. He loved doing that.
Asshole.
He’d had the actual nerve to ask me to come over on the same night he was on a date with a different woman. So he could taste her first … and then me.
Fuck him.
I dropped my phone into my purse and downed the rest of my martini, and when my hands were free, I threw open my menu.
The force sent the top of the leather into the plate in front of me, sliding it several inches forward so it banged into my water glass.
The glass threatened to fall, and I stopped it just in time.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered under my breath. I read the entrées and descriptions, but nothing sounded even remotely appetizing, so I shut the menu and moved it off to the side.
“Are you all right?”
“Fine,” I replied to Hayden.
“Do you want to tell me what made you just drink your martini like it was a shot and almost break a glass?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Sophie …” He continued to keep his voice down so only I could hear him.
I finally looked at him.
“It’s something.” His eyes were attempting to peel back my locked layers. “What is it?”
A date? Is he serious?
Was he planning on fucking her before he came to my condo to sleep with me?
If I thought I hated him before, that was nothing compared to this.
My hands shook as I reached into my bag and pulled up Colson’s last message.
Me
You won’t be coming anywhere near me. Ever again.
Once I hit Send, I looked at my brother. “Instead of asking questions, what you can do is get me another drink.”