Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
SOPHIE
With Abbi asleep in his arms, Hayden walked through my front door and whispered, “Have you been out running?” as he stalled by the kitchen island, where I was standing.
I nodded before lifting my baby’s hand and kissing and smelling the back of it. She didn’t even stir from the movement. The quietness of alone time was appreciated, but I missed her, even if the period away from one another had been brief.
“Will you put her in bed?”
“Of course.”
He disappeared down the hallway, bringing my girl to her room. From the moment she had been put in my arms, she had always been a sleeper. Unlike her mom, she was not a morning person. As soon as Hayden tucked her in, she’d stay asleep for at least another hour, probably more.
When my brother returned, he stood on the other side of the counter, taking me in. “No coffee? Are you feeling all right?”
I pointed at my water bottle and laughed. “I’m jittery enough. How was last night with Abbi?”
“Perfect. But, man, that kid can really eat some ice cream.” He smiled. “I thought for sure she was going to have a stomachache from the hot fudge, but nope. She took it down like a champ.”
I twisted off the top, but I didn’t take a drink of the water. I just played with the plastic cap, and when that didn’t hold my attention, I set my elbows on the island, my palms cupping my cheeks.
“You and Troy are competing for who can give her the most dessert and who she likes the best. I’m sure he’s going to try to one-up you the second we get back to LA.”
He tapped his thumb against the counter. “I’m the uncle. I’ll always win.”
“He is too—don’t forget that, Hayden.”
“True … but Abbi’s my blood.”
I didn’t even attempt to come back with a reply. I didn’t have it in me. Not after a sleepless night and a run that had taken every ounce of energy from my body.
And a conversation that had haunted me since the second my toes had hit the ground and I left Colson standing in the center of the beachfront promenade.
Why can’t I stop thinking about you?
“What’s going on in your head?” Hayden eyed me down pretty hard, and then he went to my fridge and took out a container of orange juice, drinking straight from the bottle.
“I can tell you’re not feeling any better from last night.
” He wiped his lips and set the juice back, closing the fridge door. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I never want to talk about things like this.”
There was so much I shared with my brother, and so much I held in. Things I wouldn’t even discuss with a girlfriend. The truth was, I didn’t know how. I would get so close, my lips on the verge of parting, and something would immediately make me close up.
“I think you should change that. Starting now.”
I let out a breath, my head dropping but my stare staying on him. “Do you ever want to talk about it?”
“We’re not discussing me.”
“But—”
“Sophie, come on. You’re deflecting.”
I’d been leaning against the edge of the stone, and I pulled back one of the stools and took a seat.
“Let’s start with this,” he said after I remained silent. “Did the run help?”
“No.” I held the sides of my head. “Because guess who I fucking saw.”
“Colson was on the same run?”
I nodded.
He put his hands in the air. “That wasn’t my doing, I swear. Last night, sure, I’ll take the blame. But I had no idea you were going running this morning.”
My eyes closed. “It’s just one coincidence after another. Everywhere I go, he’s there. Everywhere except right here.”
“But what if it isn’t a coincidence? What if the universe is trying to put you two together?” The kitchen lights shone against his gelled hair and beard. The blackness so dark that there were hints of blue in his strands.
“I know you don’t believe a word of what you just said.”
“What if your situation has changed my mind and I do?”
“Hayden …” My exhale was long and drawn out.
“Don’t tell me you’re joining the Dottie train.
I heard everything she said last night about all the regret she has.
But she’s coming from a different place than us.
She never took a step in our shoes. She didn’t grow up like we did. ” I paused. “She doesn’t get it.”
“She gets it, Sophie. She might not have seen the before, but she experienced the after.”
A statement that shook me to my core.
He moved next to me, his arms so close as they rested on the counter that they almost touched mine. “For what it’s worth, he’s a good dude. I like him.” He gripped my shoulder. “That approval should hold some significant weight—you know, it’s hard to get that kind of seal from me.”
It was impossible to get it from any of my family. We didn’t let just anyone in. We weren’t built to trust.
“Hayden, we’re like oil and water.”
We lived to fight one another. But that anger and frustration and animosity created explosive chemistry. For as much as I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to touch him equally as bad. For as hard as I wanted to push him away, I was desperate to pull him close.
It wasn’t a game. It was a disease that lived in my head.
“As you should be,” he said quietly. “Can you imagine if you liked someone who was just like you?” He huffed.
“That wouldn’t work. Not even for a fucking second.
You need someone who will challenge you, like he does, and battle you during every round.
And someone who won’t put up with your shit and isn’t afraid to call you out on it either.
That dude walked right into a dinner with you and some of the boys and gave no fucks, despite knowing how spicy you would treat him.
That takes courage, especially since he knew everyone at the table was on your side, not his. ”
I finally turned my head toward him. “I never said I liked him.”
“If you denied it, I wouldn’t believe you. Never in my life have I ever seen you act this way over a guy. And last night? Seeing you spiral? Shit, you drew the conclusion for me.” His green gaze was pleading with mine.
Hayden wasn’t wrong. I had spiraled. I wasn’t proud of that or my actions. I reacted on an assumption, and that wasn’t fair to Colson. But the moment I spotted him with her—his hand on hers, her fingers on him—all I saw was red.
Until this morning, when he told me who she was, and I felt like a fool.
A fool who deserved to be called out.
A fool because of how much the sight of him last night had affected me.
And a fool because I’d actually felt relief when I found out she wasn’t someone he wanted to sleep with.
“I didn’t handle things well at all,” I admitted. “Not last night or this morning. I’m sure he’s confused and pissed off and feeling a slew of other emotions.”
“How much does he know?”
My head shook. “He knows nothing.”
“Maybe it’s time to tell him? And throw in an apology or two?”
I had told Hayden I didn’t want to talk about it. Yet here we were, talking about it, and he was offering advice and giving me solutions.
And whether it was planned or not, he was making me think even deeper.
I pressed my lips together—the run had made them so dry. “Maybe.”
“Sounds like you have a decision to make.”