Chapter 30
THIRTY
SOPHIE
Ifingered the stem of my wineglass, the twirls sending waves across the top of the dark red liquid. I watched the movement, slightly mesmerized and feeling a bit lightheaded, as this was my third refill.
My house was too silent.
Abbi had been asleep for several hours, I believed.
The TV didn’t hold my attention. Every time I opened social media, the sites, knowing my interests, fed me a constant stream of Weston and Gordon drama.
I was one drink too deep to dig back into the novel I’d been reading, and the wine made me lack the attention span to turn on a podcast.
I’d been to Lush four times in the last week, waiting for Colson to show up. I’d decided today, while at work, I couldn’t go again. I didn’t have it in me. In fact, I was almost positive I’d be canceling my membership.
I don’t know what to do.
A thought that hit me several times each hour. And a statement I wasn’t any closer to answering.
In law, when there was hesitation or I needed an expert opinion, I reached out to Bob.
His level of knowledge guided me toward a solution.
Maybe I should treat this situation the same way.
Even though I had grown up with mostly men, observing how they thought, processed, and reacted, I understood nothing when it came to Colson.
Up until this point, I loved that about him. That his pieces and layers and idiosyncrasies challenged me. That nothing was predictable, aside from the constant coincidences of appearance. That he was impossible to figure out.
But in this moment, I didn’t love it at all.
I lifted my phone off the couch cushion beside me, found Troy’s number, and held my cell to my ear.
“Is everything all right?” His voice dripped with concern after the call connected.
“Mostly. Why do you ask?”
“You don’t usually call this late.”
Late?
I pulled the phone back to check the time on the screen. It was after eleven. I’d had no idea. “Shit, I’m sorry. I must have lost track of time. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I’m actually up, doing work. Why are you only mostly okay?”
I stretched my legs out, my bare toes rounding over the edge of the ottoman. “You’re a man.”
“I am.” He chuckled.
“I need advice about men.”
“Elaborate.”
My head fell back against the cushion, but not before I took a long drink of wine. “This thing with Colson—I’ve done everything I can possibly think of to get him to talk to me. I’ve even gone to places where I thought he might show up.”
“And he hasn’t?”
“No.”
Gymnastics had been part of that short list, and so had Lush. Not that I needed to fill in those gaps for Troy.
“I’ve done the obvious things, like call or text,” I continued.
“I’m assuming he blocked my number since nothing shows Delivered.
” I groaned. “Troy, the man has completely shut me out. And if he did that after hearing my side of things, fine. But before? Absolutely not. Until he listens to the details that come straight from my mouth, he can’t make the decision to ban me from his life. ”
“Damn, he’s a hard-ass.”
I nodded. “What do I do?”
Several seconds of silence passed.
“You know, even I tried to talk to him about you.”
I lifted my head. “You did?”
“He was in my office yesterday, and I attempted to bring you up. The second I did, it was like a switch flipped. He completely shut off and wouldn’t discuss you.”
“The same thing happened with Hayden in Lauderdale when he tried to bring me up to him.” I sighed.
“I appreciate that Colson doesn’t want to discuss me with my family.
But to not discuss me with me? I can’t, Troy.
I just can’t.” The exhaustion was taking effect.
Extremely late nights at Lush. Early mornings at work, where things were still a bit unstable.
Thoughts of Colson eating away at me. Something had to give. “Tell me what to do.”
“Is being with him the ultimate goal? Or do you just want to plead your side and be done?”
I stared at the remaining wine and set the glass on the coffee table. This was one of the thoughts that haunted me. The guilt of not admitting this sooner. The fear of not being given a chance.
My eyes closed. “I want to be with him.”
“And you’re willing to get a little bold in order to do that?”
“What do you mean?”
“To get his attention, will you consider doing something unconventional?”
This answer required backup.
I grabbed the wine again and drained the rest of the glass. “Yes.”
“Then I have an idea.”