Chapter 19
nineteen
. . .
BLAKE
“Look who decided to leave their room,” Spencer called, as Honor and I strode hand in hand across the outdoor patio.
The rehearsal dinner was tonight, at the same outdoor bar as the welcome party had been, only now the long table took up most of the lawn, wedding guests having steadily arrived all week.
“Just because you’ve struck out with every woman you’ve hit on at the resort, no need to be bitter, Spence,” Honor teased.
Spencer staggered dramatically, clutching his heart. “Why do you have to throw my strike rate in my face like that, H? I can’t help it if no one appreciates my charm.”
“Would we call you charming?” I asked, pressing my lips together in contemplation.
April shook her head. “I don’t think we would.”
Jeremy, Hudson and Kelly chuckled as Spencer narrowed his eyes on April.
“I thought you and I had something special, April. There’ll be no dance for you at the after party!”
“Spencer, you’re a groomsman,” Kelly said, placing a hand on his arm. “Please stop referring to our wedding reception as an after party.”
Hudson shook his head, clearly amused. “I need a drink if I’m going to deal with you all tonight. Who wants one?”
“We’ll get them,” I said, glancing at Honor. We’d only been here five minutes, and I already wanted to be alone with her. To have her body wrapped around mine like it had been for days and have her moaning my name over and over while I claimed her.
Instead, we made our way to the bar, leaning against it while we waited for the bartender.
I leaned close to murmur in her ear. “I forgot to tell you before we left the room how stunning you look tonight.”
She smiled up at me. “You don’t look too bad yourself, stud.”
I quirked a brow at her, nipping at her exposed throat with my teeth, my lips brushing over her skin to smooth the sting. “I don’t hate that nickname.”
Dinner passed without a hitch, Hudson and Kelly beaming the whole time at having all of their favorite people in one place. The wedding party milled around afterwards, the two families spending time together before the big day.
I spotted Honor on the lawn and went to follow, but I hadn’t taken more than a few steps when Reyna appeared in front of me.
“Don’t you look like a delicious snack. Same as always,” she said, giving me a smile that left nothing to the imagination. I waited for that throb of need I was so used to feeling around her, but this time… nothing .
“And just as fuckable.” Reyna’s tongue slowly licked her plump bottom lip as her gaze slid over me.
“As fuckable as my brother looked the night you propositioned him?” I asked.
Reyna reeled back at my words. When Hudson had told me what she’d done and I confronted her, I didn’t get angry or even upset. I’d told her to pack her things and watched her walk out the door. I’d never called her on her shitty, selfish behavior. I’d never shown any kind of emotion about it at all.
But right now, I didn’t care about her feelings. She’d blown up our relationship without a second thought and now she believed a few compliments were going to win me back? Or get me into bed with her because she was lonely?
I never should have considered sleeping with her again at the start of this trip. And it shouldn’t have taken falling for Honor to make me see that.
I searched the crowd behind Reyna, spotting Honor by the table, laughing with the same bartender from the bachelor party.
“Come on, Blake. Don’t be like that.” Reyna ran a finger along my forearm. “We used to have all kinds of fun. I’m sure we could again.”
But I was barely listening, all I could focus on was the way Corey placed a hand on Honor’s back and leaned in close to whisper something in her ear. She laughed in response and my frustration turned to raging hot jealousy.
It had been me making her laugh for the past three days. And drawing so many other sounds from her too. He had no right even looking at her, let alone touching her the way he was.
Reyna folded her arms across her chest. “Blake? Are you listening to me?”
I shook my head. “Not at all.”
I was so fucking done with Reyna and her games.
Stepping around her, I strode in Honor’s direction, just as Corey headed back to the bar.
Honor’s face split into a smile as I approached. “I was just coming to look for you.”
“Just thought you’d stop to flirt with the bartender first?”
Her eyes widened at my tone.
“Who, Corey? He was reminding me of this hilarious night at homecoming during our junior year.”
“He’s into you,” I snapped, surprising myself with how fucking jealous I sounded.
She frowned. “No, he isn’t.”
“Honor, I know men. I am one. Trust me when I say the way he looks at you, the way he tries to touch you. He’s into you.”
“Okay... well, I’m not into him.”
I scoffed. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend.”
Or at least playing the part of my girlfriend. It wasn't clear where we stood now after we'd just spent days devouring each other. We'd spent so much of that time naked and exactly none of it talking about where it left us.
Too late now. She'd already moved on to flirting with someone else.
“How do you think it looks to my family when you’re flirting with him?”
She took a step back, crossing her arms over her chest. “I think it looks like you overreacting and turning into a possessive caveman. Do you always get this way after you sleep with someone? Corey and I are friends, Blake. That’s all. We’ve known each other since high school.”
“Did you sleep with him in high school?”
Her brow creased. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
I had no idea what was wrong with me. I’d never acted like this before. This was the first time I’d felt anything like this for a woman since Reyna, but even with her, I’d never been this guy.
I didn’t know how to rein it in. I just kept seeing the way he’d looked at her, and the way she’d leaned towards him as they spoke. Was that how it had started with Reyna and my brother? Subtle glances to try to get my brother’s attention? Trying to talk to him at events, thinking no one would notice? I’d never asked Hudson about it, and he’d never offered any information. Hadn’t wanted to know. When it ended, I shut it out and shut down, determined to close myself off and not let Reyna’s actions affect me. And it had worked.
Until Honor.
It was different with her. I cared far more than I was comfortable with already.
I’d missed all the signs from Reyna back then, but I sure as hell wasn’t missing them now.
Honor closed the space between us, sliding her hands up my chest to my shoulders.
“Blake, there’s nothing between me and Corey. You don’t have to worry about this, I promise you. I want you.”
I gripped her wrists, removing her hands from my body. “That’s not an answer to my question.”
She stilled, disbelief and hurt simmering behind her eyes. She stepped away from me.
“I don’t owe you an answer, because whether I slept with him in high school or not has no bearing on today. I’m not going to sleep with him now, because I’m sleeping with you. And you either trust me when I say that you’re who I want, or you don’t.”
The image of Honor laughing with Corey morphed into Reyna’s face in my mind, sidling up to my brother the way she’d just done with me. Running her finger along his forearm as she leaned in close and whispered all the things she wanted to do to him without me or Kelly ever finding out. I’d been a stupid, lovesick fool to trust Reyna and I’d been humiliated for it.
It wasn’t going to happen again.
My fists clenched at my sides. “I don’t trust you.”
“Wow.” Honor shook her head in disbelief. “You know I’m not Reyna, right? I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me.”
Anger rolled inside me.
Totally unjustified, unwelcome anger.
This was supposed to be simple. She was going to play the role of my girlfriend, I would pay her, we would part ways. I had to go and get in too deep and feel things for her that I never should have allowed.
I never should have fucking kissed her, and I sure as hell never should have slept with her. It was clear Reyna’s betrayal had messed with my head more than I was willing to admit.
My jaw clenched so tight I was at risk of cracking a tooth, and I turned away from Honor, running my hands through my hair. I was losing control of my emotions, and I had no idea how to get a hold on it.
“Fuck!”
I wasn’t this guy.
I hated this guy.
And the way Honor was looking at me, she wasn’t far from hating me either.
I had to get the fuck out of here.
Out of this .
“Sweetheart, don’t swear at your girlfriend like that,” my mom said, crossing the lawn to join us. “We can hear you on the other side of the patio.”
I stared at Honor, a wariness now in her eyes when she looked at me.
I’d never wanted to be in this position again. And right now, I could only see one way out of it.
I sighed.
“It’s okay, mom, she’s not my girlfriend.”
Honor’s eyes widened in surprise, and my mom glanced between us, clearly bewildered.
But I was on a roll and there was no putting the genie back in the bottle now.
I was ready to self-sabotage at its finest, so I came out with the one thing I knew would ensure it.
“Honor’s just some woman I paid to be here.”