Chapter 13
The bed was big enough, but that didn’t stop Rhys from being acutely aware of Lola lying next to him.
She’d fallen asleep quickly, her breathing now slow and gentle, keeping him company in the darkness.
He figured her ease at sharing a bed was because she hadn’t been thinking about him in the way he was thinking about her now.
A cool shower had helped to some extent, but as he lay coffin-still staring up at the ceiling, Lola remained firmly fixed in his head.
The tickling had all been a bit of fun, but the memory was driving him insane in a way that he’d be fantasising about it for a long time to come: the feel of her smooth skin as she’d squirmed beneath his touch, his fingers tracing her collarbone and sides, making her wriggle and cry out.
There was no way they’d not heard from the next room.
Hell, with the balcony doors wide open the whole hotel and anyone on the street below had probably heard.
He flushed hot. His senses tortured him: the sound of her hushed breathing, the scent of her mandarin body lotion and the warmth of her next to him.
Would it be wrong to shuffle close, to put his face to her skin, to breathe her in?
Certain that it would be impossible to fall asleep while his thoughts eddied, his heart pounded and every part of him throbbed with desire, he got out of bed. He padded the short distance to the balcony doors and slipped out, closing them quietly behind him.
‘You couldn’t sleep either?’
His heart ricocheted against his ribs at the sound of Zoe’s voice.
He turned towards the adjacent balcony and met her eyes. She was sitting on one of the wrought-iron chairs with a glass in her hand and her bare feet resting on the railing.
‘Nope.’
She grunted and glanced away. ‘I’m surprised you’re not knackered after your earlier performance,’ she said with an underlying tone he couldn’t quite decipher.
Performance. Did she believe it had been real or known they’d been pretending and had intended for her to hear? Either way, she was looking uncomfortable, which was making him feel as guilty as his and Lola’s earlier ‘performance’ had heartened him. He hadn’t laughed that hard for ages.
‘It’s surprising really,’ she continued, ‘given you were always so worried about what other people would think, to make that much noise. Unless of course you’ve changed drastically, which I’m guessing not.
’ The look she cast him could have flayed a person top to toe.
‘So I assume it was all for my benefit.’
‘I think you’re getting me confused with someone who actually cares about you still, which I don’t,’ he said coolly, despite his stomach twisting with guilt and disappointment that she’d managed to get the upper hand. Him still having rumbling feelings for her was why he was in this mess.
‘You keep telling yourself that.’ She crossed one ankle over the other and studied him with a smirk. ‘At least I don’t have to fake anything with Freddie.’
He knew he should take a deep breath, go back inside and not let her get under his skin. ‘And I see you haven’t changed a bit either, still being casually cruel and not caring if you hurt me.’
‘I thought you said you didn’t care about me any more? If that’s the case, why be bothered what I say? Unless of course you’re aware it’s the truth.’
‘Are you happy with him?’
Zoe fixed him with a glare. ‘I had to wait two years before we even moved in together and that was because I suggested it. How long would I have had to wait for anything more?’
His heart dropped into his stomach, remembering how close he’d come to asking her to marry him.
‘You’re honestly telling me you’d have said yes if I’d proposed?
You gave me no indication that was what you wanted and the fact you left so abruptly only makes me think it was actually the last thing you desired. ’
‘At least Freddie is decisive and knows what he wants.’
Rhys snorted and leaned his hands on the railing so he wouldn’t have to look at her. Despite being outside, it was claustrophobic with the houses opposite looming close, but at least the touch of cooler air was helping to temper his rage.
‘You never did understand me,’ Zoe said.
‘No, I didn’t,’ Rhys swung back. The balcony light cast shadows across her face, but she looked tight-lipped, angry, bitter, and all for what? ‘I didn’t understand you then and I sure as hell don’t understand you now.’
‘Well, that makes two of us. When we were at uni you were fun and up for a laugh. You took risks – what the hell happened?’
‘And yet you still slept around behind my back.’
‘You’re too straight-laced for your own good.
Try living a little, Rhys. It’s the only way you’ll end up keeping a woman like Lola.
Everyone can see she’s way out of your league.
Probably just wants to have a bit of holiday fun.
Although maybe you have learnt a thing or two if you can make her scream like that.
’ She downed the rest of her drink, thumped it on the table and stood up.
‘I only wanted you to be happy and truthful,’ Rhys said softly. ‘I wish you’d left me well before you did instead of leading me on. Make sure you don’t do the same to Freddie when you get bored of him.’
He turned on his heel and strode back inside, closing the door as quietly as he could manage when he wanted to slam, smash and rage.
How had he ever loved her? Had she been that good an actor or was she skilled at playing games to get what she wanted?
He couldn’t comprehend how he’d once thought of her as a friend, a lover, a partner, someone he had envisaged spending his life with.
He didn’t recognise the person she’d become – actually, she’d always been like this, she’d just hidden it well and played him for a fool for too long. Freddie was welcome to her.
Rhys knew he was better off alone, rather than being trapped in a toxic relationship. Zoe was in the past and he would no longer wallow in the what ifs or live with regret. It was time to move on for good.