Chapter 21
Lola wished more than anything that she was strolling barefoot across Spiaggia di Cala li Cossi with Mirabel’s arm hooked in hers and a beach bag slung over her shoulder with towels and a picnic inside.
As it was, her trainers kicked up sand, her cross-body bag contained little more than her purse, phone, lip balm and a bottle of water and she was on her own as she passed groups of happy people making the most of the late September sun.
As Lola neared Mirabel, she couldn’t help but notice how forlorn she looked, with her legs crossed and shoulders hunched as she stared towards the pond-flat sea.
‘Hey, you doing okay?’ Lola said softly as she sat down next to her on the warm sand and they hugged. The sea barely lapped the shore and the voices from the other beach-goers were distant, twirled away on the lightest of breezes.
‘This is the beach Fabs took me to the first time I visited his family.’ Mirabel drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
‘Everything felt simple back then, even if I was overwhelmed by meeting his family. How wealthy he actually was wasn’t really apparent till I came here and saw how they lived and where he grew up.
None of that mattered back then, whereas now…
’ She exhaled deeply. Lola allowed her the time to put her thoughts into words. ‘Now, everything is different.’
Mirabel’s need to escape to somewhere that held happy memories was understandable, yet Lola sensed there was more to it than she was saying.
‘What’s really going on?’ Lola asked gently. ‘You running away has everyone worried. I understand how overwhelming the last few days have been, but are things okay between you and Fab?—’
‘Yes! Nothing’s wrong with us. I love him with all my heart, it’s just…’ She glanced away but not before Lola noticed her tears.
Lola reached for Mirabel’s hand.
‘I want to marry Fabs more than anything; I want us to start a family. I’ve got to the point where those things mean as much to me as my career, yet it’s the thought of starting over with everything that I’m struggling with: quitting my job, building my own business and client list, leaving my family and starting a whole new life in a country without friends of my own and on an island I’ve only ever visited.
I’ve always loved being here, but that’s with the knowledge that I’ll be going home again at the end of a week or two.
‘I’m not just marrying Fabs but his whole family, and that’s a lot .
Being referee between his mum and my mum got me thinking, what happens when there are grandchildren involved?
I’m still learning Italian and we’d need to bring up our children bilingual.
There’s so much to think about. And what if this never gets any easier?
What if I hate living here and miss my life back home?
’ She turned to Lola wide-eyed. ‘London’s my home.
’ She was trembling, her breathing sharp and her face flushed.
It was almost as if she was having a panic attack.
‘Oh Mirabel.’ Lola slipped an arm across her shoulders. ‘Have you shared these thoughts with Fabs?’
‘Not in so many words, but I will. I need to.’
Lola hugged her close. ‘It’s an awful lot to be processing, and emotions are bound to be running high when you’re all living together.’
‘It’s not like we’re on top of each other – their place is palatial.’
‘But isn’t that partly the problem? Your parents aren’t wealthy or used to this lavish lifestyle.
I mean, we have a chef at our beck and call at the villa.
The first night party was a catered affair – it’s so far removed from the way your parents live and how you grew up.
You said that yourself. Your parents are probably feeling the stress of it all in a different way to Fabs’s parents.
Different lifestyles, different cultures. It’s a lot.’
‘I know, you’re right and it was my worry all along, yet I ran with it, wanting the most luxurious wedding in the most photogenic location.’
‘No one can blame you for that. And this is Fabs’s home – one of you was always going to get married away from your home country.’
‘Mum’s pissed off because she feels the focus should be on the bride and therefore the bride’s family, as weddings usually take place in the bride’s home town with the bride’s parents hosting?—’
‘Yet here it feels as if Giada has stolen her thunder.’
‘Exactly, and I can’t do anything about it now, apart from try to put out the flames and make the best of everyone living together when tempers are frayed.’
‘No wonder you needed to escape.’ Lola gazed towards the sea. The emerald shallows turned a deep blue further out where rocks emerged from the water like huge stalagmites. ‘I kinda felt like that the first evening here, although for a different reason.’
‘Ha, yes! And you ran straight into Rhys’s arms.’
‘Something like that,’ Lola said, biting back the desire to tell Mirabel the truth about her and Rhys.
Now wasn’t the time. She didn’t know how she felt about Rhys, how he felt about her or what the hell they were doing to be able to explain it anyway.
She held Mirabel’s hand in her lap. ‘You’re torn in every direction and don’t have any time with Fabs either.
It’s no wonder you’ve reacted like this.
A wedding is stressful enough, but to then be starting your married life in a completely different country and leaving every—’ Lola stopped talking as Mirabel’s face crumpled, her eyes once again damp.
‘What I’m attempting to say is try to see the positives, see beyond the stress of the lead-up to what will be the happiest day of your life.
You’re so incredibly lucky, not just to be getting married to the most gorgeous and lovely guy, but to have parents who care and support you enough to go along with your dream wedding, even if it’s not what they’d have chosen, and you have in-laws who would do anything for you – it’s not just about money.
They adore you because you make Fabs unbelievably happy.
You have the chance to start a new exciting life in a place that people can only dream about living, and yes, you have to start from scratch job-wise, but that’s exciting too and it’s not as if you’ll have a financial pressure to go along with it.
You’re choosing to work because you love what you do, but you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. There’s freedom in that.’
Mirabel pursed her lips and wedged her sunglasses in her hair. Her eyes glistened damp in the sunshine. She drew out a long breath. ‘So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t be complaining because I’m lucky and should hold my tongue and be happy.’
‘Okay, you’ve taken me the wrong way. Maybe I didn’t say it right. Everyone’s stressed, Fabs is too, although he might not show it, so everyone’s reaction is understandable, yours included.’
Mirabel pulled her hand from Lola’s and smoothed out the creases of her red dress.
At work and at home, actually in every aspect of Mirabel’s life, she was usually so unruffled.
She was the dependable friend who had her shit together, and that had a lot to do with having a supportive family, her head screwed on and making wise choices.
Plus she had great taste in men – not because of the way they looked, but because beneath their handsomeness they were good people.
Mirabel couldn’t have asked for a better partner and fiancé in Fabs.
If Lola hadn’t known him, she would have thought Mirabel had made him up because on paper he was beyond perfection.
And in real life he was perfect. So yes, Lola believed Mirabel was lucky, but she also knew that didn’t mean her worries weren’t real.
‘Your upset is valid, Mirabel.’ Lola reached out and touched her arm.
Mirabel’s hands stilled, pressed tight against the material covering her thighs.
‘I didn’t mean to belittle how you’re feeling.
I just wanted to give you a balanced perspective because I understand how panicked you’re feeling.
I’ve witnessed the stress rolling off you for weeks, increasing the closer we got to coming here.
But you’ve run away today, which has Fabs worried, and me; hell, everyone will be freaking out.
’ Lola watched the sea sending tiny ripples to the beach, dampening the sand and turning it honey-coloured.
Her eyes travelled beyond the rocks scattered in the calm water of the bay, to the horizon, where the azure sea merged in a hazy line with the sky.
She understood why Mirabel liked this beach so much – it was enclosed and majestic, beautiful and interesting.
Lola turned back to her friend. ‘I also know what a panic attack feels like, and what the stress and underlying feeling of being constantly in flight-or-fight mode does to you, not being able to think straight?—’
‘Because of Jarek?’ Mirabel cut in.
‘Yes, because of him.’ Lola couldn’t bring herself to even say his name – again a defence mechanism, as if ignoring him and not talking about him would make him go away, despite what the evidence of the last couple of days had proved.
‘You’re right,’ Mirabel said. ‘I’m sorry for snapping.’
‘You have nothing to apologise for. I’d be more surprised if you weren’t stressed, I just wanted to refocus you on the positives and remind you that your parents and Fabs’s love you both and want what’s best for you, but they’re likely stressed too, which is why it’s all come to a head and made you want to get away. ’
Mirabel raked her fingers through the sand between them. ‘Perhaps deep down I’m wishing I could enjoy myself like you, Deni and Sarah are, without the pressure of being the bride, of having to ensure everyone is happy, while trying to keep the peace between our families.’
‘Which is a normal and sensible reaction, wanting to enjoy the time with everyone, Fabs in particular.’
Mirabel huffed. ‘When even time for us is scarce.’
‘Well, you have an epic honeymoon in New Zealand to look forward to after all the madness is over.’
‘That I can’t wait for.’
The smile Mirabel gave reached her eyes and made the tightness in Lola’s chest loosen.
‘And if it’s any consolation, everyone’s having a wonderful time – maybe not your immediate family right now, but friends definitely are.’
Mirabel flashed her a cheeky grin. ‘Everyone can see how much you’ve been enjoying yourself – or enjoying a certain someone, I should say. But you have surprised me.’
‘Oh?’
‘Because Rhys isn’t your type.’
‘Oh, I don’t know about that?—’
‘You have a type, Lola.’ Mirabel cut her off with a shake of her head. ‘And you definitely go for looks over personality.’
‘I do not. And I don’t have a type either.’ She attempted to ignore the knowing look Mirabel was giving her, but realised her protestation was an outright lie, something that had become clear over the last week. Okay, fine. Maybe she did have a type, but didn’t everyone?
‘I’m just saying I’m surprised by you and Rhys because he’s not someone I’d ever thought you’d go for. He’s good-looking but not in the way you rate.’ Her voice softened as she touched Lola’s arm. ‘It’s a good thing and I’m happy for you.’
‘I do rate personality,’ Lola said, unable to control the edge to her tone. ‘It’s just I keep getting it wrong.’
Epically so, was what she didn’t say. Mirabel knew an awful lot, but she didn’t know everything and not as much as Rhys now knew.
Not sharing everything had been Lola’s way of protecting her friend, because she knew that Mirabel had held back her true feelings about Jarek, not wanting to dampen Lola’s spirits when she’d been in love.
And she certainly wasn’t going to risk talking about him now and adding an extra layer of worry to Mirabel’s shoulders when Jarek was on Sardinia.
That was something she needed to deal with alone. Actually, not alone – with Rhys.
She glanced back across the beach to where she’d left him perched on a rock bathed in the late afternoon sun. Dependable, kind, thoughtful and supportive Rhys. She hoped he’d remembered to apply his factor 50 this morning.
‘What do you want to do?’ Lola asked, turning her attention and the conversation back on her friend.
‘I don’t want to go back, not yet.’ Mirabel visibly shuddered. ‘The thought of another evening being a mediator and attempting to please everyone, I just can’t do it.’
‘You need to talk to Fabs though – you can’t let him worry that you might want to call the whole thing off.’
‘Oh God, that wasn’t my intention at all.’
‘He needs to know that.’
Mirabel scrunched her nose and dug her fingers deeper into the sand.
‘Why don’t we get Fabs to come out here,’ Lola suggested. ‘Rhys drove me; I’ll get him to call him.’
‘I’ll let Mum and Dad know where I am too, so they don’t worry, and maybe the four of us can go somewhere this evening – I could do with the easy-going company of our best friends.
’ She suddenly grinned. ‘I’m sorry what I said before about you favouring looks over personality, I know it’s not just about that and I honestly didn’t mean to make you sound shallow?—’
‘It’s okay, and I know my track record with men has been shocking. Rhys has opened my eyes to that because I’ve got to know him slowly rather than jumped in feet first.’
‘If you say so!’ Mirabel said. ‘I’d say you moved pretty fast. I never would have put you two together, but somehow it works.’
Lola’s smile hid her true feelings because Mirabel had a false idea of her relationship with Rhys. They were friends, nothing more, and yet they were obviously doing a convincing job of pretending they’d fallen for each other.