Chapter 35
Waking up next to Lola should have made Rhys the happiest man in the world, but despite their connection and spending the night together – even if they’d only shared each other’s company – uncertainty still tugged at him.
Regardless of the yearning he’d felt last night – and the desire that was so obvious this morning it was downright torturous – Lola was hurting and had come to him in fear; his desire was not something he felt comfortable acting on, however much he wanted to.
Instead of initiating sex, he snuck out of bed, pulled on a clean T-shirt and shorts and made a Nespresso coffee. Opening the sliding doors to the courtyard, he clasped his cup and breathed in the scent of herbs, damp soil and the coffee steaming into the fresh morning air.
Rhys gazed up at the vibrant green of the juniper trees against the wash of blue sky, the leaves translucent where the sun hit.
He sat down on the edge of the pool and dunked his feet into the water, which was warm enough to combat the chill of the morning.
He sipped his coffee while watching the birds flit between the trees and listened to the rustle of leaves as the branches were stirred by the breeze.
Rhys wasn’t sure how long he sat there watching the ants soldiering across the paving and the butterflies dancing over the thyme, when he heard the coffee machine whirring.
He turned just as Lola stepped outside and his heart juddered at the sight of her in the shirt he’d been wearing last night.
With her bare legs, ruffled hair and smudged make-up, she’d never looked more beautiful.
She sat down next to him with her coffee and plunged her feet into the pool with a sigh. ‘That is gloriously warm. You been out here long?’
Rhys drained the remainder of his coffee. ‘A little while.’
‘It’s peaceful.’
‘More so than last night,’ he said quietly. ‘Everyone’s still asleep.’
‘You didn’t want to lie in?’
Not when all I could think about was wanting you , Rhys didn’t say. ‘Bit of an early bird.’ He shrugged.
‘You keep school hours, that’s why.’
‘You must have to get up early for your job?’
‘Of course, but not all the time. My hours are quite erratic with lots of late nights thrown in and travel. Keeps me on my toes. And I’ve always been a bit of a night owl, although now I’m in my thirties I definitely can’t do the late nights and early starts like I used to.
At least not without feeling like shit. The grumpiness is unreal – you would not want to witness it. ’
Oh but I would , Rhys thought.
‘So, Mr Early Riser, is your sabbatical your way of taking a chance on doing something different with your life or do you really intend to go back to teaching?’
That was a big question for first thing in the morning; he gazed up at the pearly blue sky while he considered it.
‘It’s not a stipulation of taking the time off, but my intention is to return, although the year away is an opportunity for me to focus on doing something different and what I might want to do differently, you know, in the future.’
‘You’re being very non-committal.’ Lola slipped her arm in his and kicked her feet beneath the surface of the pool, sending warm water lapping further up his legs. ‘Saying out loud that you want to change your life scares you silly, doesn’t it?’
‘It’s that obvious?’ Her arm was tight, grounding him.
His elbow brushing the side of her breast sent heat coursing through him.
Being open and honest was less scary than bottling everything up only to wind up unhappy and filled with fear and anxiety.
He didn’t want to remain in an endless downward spiral.
‘You’re absolutely right. I don’t know what I’m afraid of – failing, maybe?
Worried I’ll feel worse about myself than I already do?
’ He glanced at her. ‘Than I did. I feel pretty good right now.’
Lola put her cup down and turned to face him, her eyes bright despite the smudges of mascara beneath them.
‘To manifest change, you have to vocalise it and believe in it to make it happen.’
‘But that’s what I still need to figure out.
I love teaching. The kids are the best; the workload, the stress, the challenges not so much, but I don’t hate it by any means, I’ve just got into a rut and filled with negativity in here.
’ He pressed his fist to the centre of his chest. ‘Travelling around Europe selfishly doing something for myself for a few weeks I hope will be the start of me healing.’
‘It’s not selfish if it’s to protect your mental health.’ Lola placed her hand on his thigh. ‘I’d say that’s essential.’
A phone pinged from inside the room.
‘That must be yours,’ Rhys said, lifting up his own phone.
Lola covered her mouth as she yawned. ‘Who’s messaging me this early in the morning?’ She went still, then scrambled to her feet.
Rhys watched as she disappeared inside and scooped up her phone. Her shoulders tensed. He knew who it was without having to ask.
Leaving his cup next to the pool, he joined her inside. He put his hand on her shoulder and flinched as she jumped.
‘Lola?’ he said softly.
She turned to him, her face sheet-white, and held out her phone. ‘Read this.’
I’ve had enough, you ungrateful bitch. After everything I gave you and everything I’ve done for you. I was the best thing that ever happened to you and you’ve thrown it all away. You’ll just have to live with the regret. We’re done.
Rhys looked up from the message and met Lola’s wide eyes. Tears streaked down her pale cheeks.
‘Bloody hell, Lola.’ Putting the phone down, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. ‘You still need to get an injunction, but this might just mean he’s given up pursuing you.’
* * *
Lola didn’t exactly creep through the hotel, but she was conscious that she was in the dress she’d been wearing the night before and looked like she’d just got out of bed, but that didn’t really matter when she had other things on her mind.
In daylight, the threat of Jarek and his disturbing letter wasn’t quite so frightening, even after that morning’s message.
The possibility that he’d decided to cut his losses and move on for good was more than she could have hoped for.
Brunch had been arranged for eleven, a decent time after a wedding, although she’d been up for quite a while already talking to Rhys.
The kiss they’d shared before she’d left his room had been chaste, as if neither of them wanted to allow the rumbling feelings of desire to take over.
The night before had definitely not been the right time, while this morning hadn’t felt quite right either, even if there was a tug of war happening between her heart and head.
Brunch was in the herb garden, with groups of family and friends clustered around tables dotted between raised borders packed with salad leaves, mint and marjoram.
Mirabel glowed with happiness and Fabs’s own contentment shone through; perhaps they were the only two people that morning who were truly happy.
For everyone else, the wedding was over and real life beckoned.
Lola found herself sitting with Deni, Mark, Sarah and Polly enjoying a breakfast of fresh bread, local honey and deliciously salty charcuterie in surroundings awash with sunshine.
Rhys was on another table with Barnaby, Gareth, Freddie and Zoe.
They caught each other’s eyes and Lola smiled, holding his gaze and drinking him in; dark hair and smiling eyes, pale skin that had caught the sun and perhaps flushed a little as he looked at her, and sensual lips that she’d spent a long time kissing last night.
‘You made up with Rhys then,’ Sarah said with raised eyebrows. ‘I saw you coming back to your room this morning. Hell of a night, eh?’
Lola switched her focus to her friends: Sarah with a mischievous grin, Polly smiling encouragingly, while Deni and Mark watched on with amused interest, their hands clasped together.
Full disclosure – that was what she’d promised herself from now on, to not withhold stuff from her friends or feel as if she had to hide any part of herself, both the good and the bad, either the things that worried her or brought her joy.
Lola rested her hands on the table, leaned in and kept her voice low. ‘I haven’t slept with him. I mean, we have slept together in the same bed, but we’ve not had sex.’
She could have laughed at the incredulous look her friends were giving her. Mark took a large gulp of coffee.
‘How is that even possible?’ Sarah sat back wide-eyed. ‘And there was me thinking I was the only one out here not getting any action.’
‘I’m not,’ Polly said.
‘I wasn’t either.’ Deni shrugged. ‘Till Mark arrived.’
Lola laughed as Mark’s cheeks flushed poppy-red. ‘And that’s my cue to leave.’ He kissed Deni and scraped his chair back. ‘I’ll finish packing and check us out.’
Deni waited until Mark had escaped across the herb garden terrace and was out of earshot before whispering, ‘I’m actually getting quite a lot of action.’ She flapped a hand in front of her own flushed cheeks. ‘You were right, Lola, about this island being made for romance.’
Polly whooped and Sarah high-fived her. Lola smiled, but her heart was twisted with longing for the happiness that was now radiating from her friend. From all three of her friends, actually. And she knew without a doubt how happy Mirabel was.
Her friends’ attention turned back to her.
‘So you haven’t done anything with him?’ Sarah asked.
‘Our first kiss was at the restaurant when Freddie and Zoe announced their engagement and it wasn’t even meant to be a proper one, just my way of taking Rhys’s attention away from his friends having stomped all over his heart.
And if you all believed Rhys and I were together, then everyone would leave us alone. ’
‘Wait?’ Deni frowned. ‘So it was all pretend?’
‘The first night at Villa Sereno when I went out for some air I got talking to Rhys. We were both escaping.’ Lola cleared her throat.
‘We were both escaping from our friends. I’m so sorry.
’ She looked between Deni and Sarah. ‘Jarek treated me appallingly. He shattered my confidence, my self-belief and he destroyed so much of me. You were all pushing for me to hook up with someone and move on, except that was the last thing I wanted.’
‘Oh my goodness, Lola.’ Deni reached across the table and held her hands. ‘You should have said something.’
‘I know, but it would have unravelled everything and I couldn’t face that, talking about Jarek with you. I foolishly thought by bottling everything up and pretending I was okay, I’d be able to move on and forget about him.’
‘But he didn’t let you.’
‘No, he didn’t.’ Lola gazed across the herb garden.
Her friends were quiet, watching her, waiting.
‘But I found I could talk to Rhys. Because that was all we were doing. That first night we made a love pact.’ Lola laughed.
‘It sounds ridiculous now, but at the time it seemed like a good idea and a way to help each other out.’
Sarah folded her napkin. ‘So you pretended to be together?’
Lola nodded.
‘And you didn’t do anything that first night apart from talk?’ Deni asked, her eyebrows furrowed.
‘Nope.’
‘Oh shit, the night in Bosa when I rearranged the room so you two could share!’ Deni put her face in her hands.
‘Yeah, thanks for that.’ Lola laughed. ‘We had an understanding and everything was pretend until it wasn’t.’
‘Oh my good God!’ Sarah grinned manically. ‘This is the best love story – please tell me it has a fairy tale ending.’
Polly nudged Sarah in the ribs and raised an eyebrow. Of all Lola’s friends, she understood that nothing was straightforward, and a fairy tale ending after what Jarek had pulled would have been a miracle.
‘Something changed that night with Rhys. Nothing had really happened, but I think he began to see me in a different way and then when I kissed him that night at the restaurant…’
‘You realised he meant something to you,’ Polly said quietly.
‘Yeah, and after that I don’t think either of us understood what was pretend and what was real.
And we talked. Like, really talked. I told him stuff that I hadn’t told anyone, not you lot, not even Mirabel.
And when Mirabel ran off that day, it was Rhys I asked to drive me there to find her, and when Mirabel persuaded Fabs to find us somewhere to stay, it was so completely different sharing a bed with him to the first time.
And stuff did end up happening; we desperately wanted each other and I’m pretty sure of the direction that night was going until Fabs got the call about?—’
‘His mamma. Fuck.’ Deni huffed. ‘That was what stopped you two from getting it on?’
Sarah grimaced. ‘Oh my God, I’m sexually frustrated on your behalf.’
Polly’s hand brushed the top of Lola’s as she leaned closer. ‘And last night?’
‘We kissed and talked and cuddled. But last night I went to him because I was scared, after… well, you know.’ She waved her hand in the air, not willing to say his name or go into the full details about the letter he’d left or his final message.
‘It was not the right time. I don’t know, there’s so much expectation and we’ve shared so much over the last few days.
I treasure his friendship and I really don’t want to mess that up. ’
‘But on the flip side we’re going home tomorrow.’ Deni gave her a firm look that she imagined she used quite often with her clients when she didn’t want them to argue back. She folded her arms. ‘If you really think about it, what do you have to lose?’
Nothing , Lola thought, particularly if she didn’t want to leave Sardinia with any regrets.