Chapter 40
Lola stared at Rhys’s reply for a long time, not because she was trying to understand the meaning behind his words, but because she was trying to figure out how his words made her feel.
Their relationship had shifted dramatically in the short time they’d known each other and now it was happening again, a transition that was as confusing as it was wonderful.
A thundering pop beat shook the walls, pulling Lola back to the here and now: on location at a stately home in Yorkshire where Starlight’s video was being shot.
Lola was there with MTV, who were doing a fly-on-the-wall-type documentary about the band.
As she’d told Rhys, this was a perk of the job; the downside had been missing out on seeing him before he went travelling.
She’d been telling the truth when she’d said she’d been thinking about him all day, even with the distractions of a bustling pop video set.
Simon Cowell had dropped by to say hello to the girls before lunch, and there’d been semi-clad dancers wandering around all day.
The make-up artists had been none too subtle about eyeing up the sexy male models, while one of the runners had looked up the forty-something-year-old owner of the house to discover with glee that he was a bona fide eligible bachelor.
None of that had stopped Lola from daydreaming about Rhys.
And now after that message… So few words, yet with her heart racing and palms sweating, they’d physically done something to her.
After coming home from Sardinia, it had been straight back to work.
She’d had little time to consider the what-ifs with Rhys.
Lola shouldn’t have had to make concessions or change anything about her life, but if it meant she was safer and further away from Jarek’s damaging influence, then she was willing to take action.
On her first day back home, she changed her number and saved all of the screenshots and photos to do with Jarek into a folder.
Barnaby had been an absolute godsend, giving her legal advice and starting the process of applying to the civil courts to get an injunction to stop Jarek’s harassment and stalking or face the consequences.
Now, just over a week after returning from Sardinia, she was in Yorkshire for work, while Rhys was in Paris sending messages like that.
The longer she left it to send a reply, the more she knew he’d be freaking out, wondering if he’d been too honest. Yet wasn’t their ability to talk about everything the reason they’d both left Sardinia happier and more positive?
She bit her lip and studied his message again. She missed talking and laughing with him as much as she missed being with him romantically. Most of all, she missed his friendship – a friendship they could maintain long distance if they continued to be open and honest with each other.
Lola glanced around the entrance hall with its stone pillars and gothic touches, the driving beats at odds with the history.
She was wearing a jumpsuit and high heels, and felt sure of herself and confident in an environment she was comfortable in.
Yet this wasn’t real life. Everything the band was projecting was a dream, something to aspire to – a glitzy side of life that was all for show.
Real life wasn’t as polished and perfect as the biggest girl band in the world was portraying it to be.
Lola bought into this lifestyle, though – she helped to showcase it to the millions of fans around the world.
Not that there was anything wrong with being swept up in the fantasy, but it was make-believe.
While Jarek had shown her all that was wrong, Rhys had opened her eyes to new possibilities and opportunities, a new path to happiness.
That was why she was struggling to know what to reply.
‘Thank you’ was lame, and gushing about how wonderful he was would seem like an afterthought, even if she meant it.
Clutching her phone, she strode outside, away from the thumping beat.
The gardens were spectacular, the formal one in front of the house all clean lines and sculptured hedges, but it was the view beyond to a silver-grey lake surrounded by trees flaming gold, red and yellow that captured her attention.
Rhys would love it here. It was funny how she was somewhere like this while his first stop was a city she’d love to visit.
His whole trip through Europe was peppered with cities; he was moving from place to place with the opportunity to meet new people and take stock of what he wanted while exploring and discovering.
It sounded idyllic and something she’d have jumped at before?—
She cut that thought short. It would be something she wanted to do now, but she had responsibilities and stuff to sort out. Turning down Rhys’s offer had been sensible, even if it hadn’t felt right.
The air was damp and Lola shivered despite her long-sleeved jumpsuit.
She dragged her eyes away from the countryside view and scrolled through the photos she’d taken in Sardinia until she reached the selfies of her and Rhys on the evening they’d made their love pact.
She hadn’t realised it then, but Rhys’s smile was different to the smile he’d woken up with on their last morning together.
That one had been a real smile that reached his eyes and made her heart swell with all sorts of feelings that she still couldn’t put into words but had meant everything.
Attaching the photo to her reply, she added a few words:
This was perfect, the start of us x
She faltered for just a moment, wondering if that promised too much, because there wasn’t really ‘an us’; they hadn’t talked about the possibility of them being more than just friends.
Even if she had accepted his offer to go travelling with him, it would only have been an extension of what they’d had on Sardinia.
They’d probably have ended up broken-hearted.
It would be extra time, nothing more, and yet she’d promised herself to be open and honest, not just with herself but her friends, and wasn’t Rhys a friend?
Someone she’d grown incredibly close to in a short space of time, who she’d shared so much of herself with, so perhaps she should be honest with him even now.
Be brave, Lola , she thought and sent it.