Chapter Twenty-Four #5
‘It is exactly the time and the place,’ she hisses.
‘I had my own money when we married. I did not need your money. For sure, I was not a very wealthy person by your children’s standards but I had my own money, my own pension, my career.
They are still stupid, immature children who do not care who they hurt,’ she says, turning to Rose now.
‘You spoiled them, Bernard, you know you did,’ Grazia switches her attention back. ‘Their main worry was that my marriage to their father would divert some of his money away from them. Or that I’d have a child with you and destroy their inheritance.’
‘It isn’t like that,’ says Bernard in a placating tone. ‘You’re misrepresenting the facts, my dear. They care for you, but you’re not their mother, that’s all.’
Dianne snorts loudly.
Grazia’s incandescent with rage and everyone in the group can see it.
‘It’s nothing to do with me being their mother – it’s to do with what you will allow, Bernard, and how you have let Stephen and Viola worship only privilege and money.’
Again Rose wonders how she ever thought that Grazia was expressionless because her face is alive with expression now.
She’s heroic in her anger.
‘Not true at all,’ mutters Bernard. ‘You’re being overemotional, Grazia.’
India glares at Bernard but he doesn’t notice anyone else. He’s looking to Rose as if to confirm that his wife is having some emotional breakdown which is nothing to do with him.
Rose sees it all now.
Bernard runs his life his way, and he expects Grazia to do all the emotional labour in their relationship. If his kids are rude to her, that’s none of his business.
Grazia brought her husband to Corfu because she thought she could tell him how she felt only in the presence of other people. And Rose Talisman.
Rose feels both the burden and the honour of being seen as the person who can fix this.
She will do her absolute best.
But it doesn’t look good.
Grazia’s prepared to spend a week in the sun ripping her inner life open in order to fix the chasms in their family unit.
But Rose can tell that Bernard simply doesn’t care what his wife says here – he isn’t interested in other people’s opinions.
Only one opinion matters: his own. He’s clearly convinced that Grazia will calm down eventually.
‘Bernard, what does it feel like to hear these things?’ Rose asks softly.
She sees the complete calm in his eyes.
‘It is airing dirty laundry in public. I didn’t want to come here,’ he adds unnecessarily. ‘People sometimes don’t get on. I don’t know what I can do to change that.’
Rose has really only one question she can ask at this point.
‘Are you really sure you don’t know what to do?’ she asks.
‘No, I have no idea how to fix this. It upsets me,’ he says, looking not in the least upset.
Rose decides that the cage-rattling has to start. She has to get a real response from Bernard.
‘Do you feel frightened that if you stand up for Grazia, you will lose your children?’ she asks.
Before Bernard has a chance to answer, she races on: ‘You still feel the guilt for their mother dying, even though you could not have prevented that.
You still feel the guilt of not being there for them when they were younger because you were building your business.
Possibly in their eyes, you chose work over them.
‘Now that you’re older and have a wife you love, you’re scared of losing them by admitting this, so it’s easier for you to let this current state of affairs continue.’
Grazia looks as if she’s only just holding back tears and for the first time, Bernard shows some reaction to Rose’s comments. His fingers are tapping a rapid tattoo on the olive-wood table but he says nothing.
Rose continues.
‘You enable Stephen and Viola to treat Grazia badly. If you never stand up for her in their presence, it’s tacit approval for them to treat Grazia as if she is an employee, there only to sleep beside you.’
Rose pauses to see if this has any effect.
Bernard’s plaster facade is beginning to crack: a muscle in his jaw is vibrating with tension and for the first time, Rose thinks she’s seeing the real Bernard.
‘I love Grazia,’ he says hoarsely. ‘She is good to me. I am so happy with her but this is tearing us apart,’ and he stops talking.
Grazia, who is normally so demonstrative with her husband, does not touch him now.
She’s holding her little gold cigarette lighter, constantly clicking it, waiting for the next moment when she can smoke one of her beloved cigarettes.
‘I know they have stress-relieving properties but they also cause cancer,’ says Rose, looking at the cigarette lighter.
Grazia shrugs: ‘My only sin,’ she says. ‘But Bernard’s children would be delighted if I were dead.’
India winces at this.
‘But if you were dead, Bernard would have nobody,’ India interrupts, unable to keep quiet any longer.
‘Your kids, Bernard, who are obviously older than me, would have their lives but you’d be lonely as hell.
Single dinners at home. Nobody to watch Netflix with.
Is that what they want?’ India demands. ‘I’m sorry but your children sound like horrible people, Bernard.
It’s your happiness, Bernard and Grazia, versus the adult children waiting for you to drop dead before they get their hands on the serious money. They should be ashamed of themselves.’
Bernard is reddening and, this time, Grazia is back holding his hand.
‘They’re good people,’ he bleats desperately.
‘Really?’ Keera says, joining in. ‘I’ve met lots of people in my business who glue themselves to famous people for a piece of the pie. It’s gross. Blood-suckers. Some people go totally cray-cray over money. It’s all they think about.’
Rose watches Bernard’s face tighten with anger.
When Keera, a woman almost young enough to be his granddaughter, tells him that his adult children’s actions are cruel and money-grabbing, he can’t ignore that.
He might ignore Grazia or try to numb out her words, but when the whole group is looking at him with pity mixed in with faint disgust, that’s another story.
‘You’re lucky you’ve had a decent marriage, Grazia.’
Dianne surprises them all by talking.
‘You didn’t, then?’ asks Rose quickly.
‘This isn’t about me,’ replies Dianne. ‘Just that Grazia has plenty of power. Lucky her. She got her man to come here. I salute you, Grazia. Those kids sound like entitled brats. You’re lucky old Bernard there didn’t flip his lid when you told him you wanted to come to a Rose Talisman retreat.’
Everyone stares at Dianne.
‘All I’m saying is that Bernard gets a few points for that.’
‘What are you feeling now, Grazia?’ Rose asks.
Grazia angles her elegant head. She’s wearing different gold jewellery, beautiful museum-quality pieces today, along with another fitted outfit: slim cream trousers and a silk shirt that never sticks to her skin with sweat.
Rose, who is feeling the heat despite the sea breeze, wonders what Grazia does to avoid sweating in the sun. This isn’t the time to ask.
‘I feel glad I have said it, and glad you all heard,’ Grazia says. ‘Bernard does not like to air his private life in public. But …’ She shrugs elegantly. ‘I cannot go on the way I used to.’
Bernard is now looking at his toes in his sandals.
‘That is why we are here. Isn’t it, Bernard?’ asks Rose.
Bernard doesn’t reply.
Instead, he glares at Rose.
‘No comment,’ he snaps.
He shoves his chair back from the table and stumbles off.
Grazia doesn’t follow him the way she usually does.
She sits in her chair, watching, fingers still playing with her cigarette lighter.
‘A break till half six?’ Rose suggests. ‘I want everyone to write a few lines to encapsulate what we talked about today.
‘Family jealousy, perhaps. Stepfamilies. What it’s like to feel unheard. Then we have meditation on the beach tonight when it’s cooler, and then the beach barbecue.’