Chapter 11 #2
Tears rolled down her cheeks. There had to be a mistake.
She was only twenty-three years old. Women had children well into their thirties, some even forties.
If only she’d stayed with Dante and not wasted the last three years.
But like any young woman, she’d thought she’d have plenty of time to have children.
At nineteen she had felt like she had all the time in the world.
How ironic that now that she had made her peace with becoming a mother, was actually ready for motherhood, wanted motherhood, it might be denied her.
Dr. Molinari’s words echoed in her brain. He’d told her she may need a hysterectomy. Only now were the implications of those words beginning to sink into her dazed brain. Her legs, finally too shaky to hold her, forced her to find a chair at one of the cafés on the edge of the piazza.
She watched the children chasing pigeons across the square, listened to their laughter, and watched their doting mothers who, although they were trying to have coffee with their friends, were aware of every move their children made.
The loss struck her hard. She couldn’t stop shaking from a combination of anger, fear, and immense sorrow.
Funny that as the doctor calmly told her the percentages all she could picture was her future with Dante and their brood of at least five children.
She’d sworn since her brother and parents’ deaths she’d make up for being an only surviving child by producing a large family.
She didn’t want any of her children to be lonely the way she was while growing up.
She was grateful for the love she’d received from her grandmother, but it didn’t take the place of a sibling.
“Papa!” cried a small boy as he raced across the square, scattering pigeons, intent on reaching his father’s outstretched arms.
Abby couldn’t breathe. How would she tell Dante? He’d want to move forward with the divorce now that she couldn’t give him what he truly desired—a child. He didn’t want to bring shame on the Lombardi family with divorce, but not having children was likely worse and he would seek divorce for that.
Her heart hurt and she rubbed her chest trying to get it to ease. She’d lose Dante.
“Contessa Lombardi, are you all right?”
Abby drew her gaze away from the heartbreaking picture of father and son walking hand-and-hand around the tables nearby. Carla, the woman who’d been in Dante’s arms the night she’d returned home, stood before her, her face etched with concern.
“Should I call Dante for you?”
“No. Don’t do that, please…”
Carla didn’t even ask. She took a seat across from Abby and called the waiter over.
“Have you ordered?” Not waiting for a reply she said, “Two espressos please,” in Italian. She waited until the order was taken before speaking. “I know we did not start off, how do you say, on the best feet, but I’ve known Dante for many years and I’d like to become your friend, too.”
“I can’t remember you being around when I first married Dante. He did, however, mention you occasionally.” Abby sighed. “When he was picking fault with me, he would hold up this woman, Carla, whom I’d never met, as the paragon of womanhood.”
Carla laughed. The sound seemed so out of place given Abby’s news.
“That is because he was never my boyfriend or husband. Nor would he want to be,” she added hurriedly.
“I was in Antarctica studying plant life under the snow when you married Dante. I’m a botanist. Plants are my passion.
Plants that have medicinal applications, in particular.
I’m heading back to Brazil in six weeks for another twelve months.
I’m so excited I can hardly wait. The is the pot at the end of my rainbow. ”
Abby didn’t want to have this polite conversation while her world disintegrated around her, so she remained silent, hoping Carla would take the hint. Carla must have sensed her disposition.
“Why don’t you tell me what has upset you? Sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger.”
Abby felt her eyebrows rise. “A stranger who happens to be best friends with my husband?”
“Has Dante done something to upset you? Grazie,” she said to the waiter who brought their coffees. “I know how difficult he can be. But he has deep feelings for you.”
That made Abby almost choke on the strong coffee she’d just sipped. Placing the coffee cup back down, she said, “Perhaps you don’t know Dante as well as you think.”
“I tried to talk Dante out of the little scene in his den the night you arrived at his villa, but he would not listen. Why do you think it was so important to him to make it appear that we were lovers?”
“Revenge?”
“I wonder if you know Dante,” Carla said sarcastically. “You should know he would never be so petty.”
Abby leaned forward, her elbows on the table and her head resting on her clasped hands. Her bad mood made her temper flare. “Then why don’t you enlighten me since you seem to know him so well.”
“He wanted to see your reaction. He wanted to know you cared. Why would he do that if he were not still in love with you?”
“Dante has never been in love with me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“He told me.”
Abby watched the frown deepen on Carla’s beautiful face. “No, I don’t believe it. Then why did he marry you in such a rush?”
“Children, Carla. He wanted children.” Abby looked at the Italian woman. “Perhaps you can tell me why having children was so important that he’d marry a woman he’d only just met and whom he didn’t love.”
Carla chewed her bottom lip and played with the teaspoon on her saucer.
“He’s having tests. Every few months I’m told. You wouldn’t know what he is being tested for?” Abby added.
She watched Carla’s face drain of color.
“Who told you this?”
“One of the nurses tried to comfort my grandmother with the knowledge that the hospital was first class. She let slip that even Conte Dante Lombardi trusted them with his tests.”
Carla said nothing for several moments. “It is probably nothing. Dante has regular tests of his prostate because of his father.”
Abby shook her head. “There is more to it. I can feel it.” She raised teary eyes to Carla. “Why else am I here? Why does he want a young, unsophisticated English girl for a wife?”
“I don’t understand. What are you trying to say?”
She couldn’t look at the woman across from her so she looked once more at the children, although to see them cut her to her core. “Dante is so desperate for a child he blackmailed me back into his bed. A child in exchange for helping my grandmother.”
Carla gasped. “No. He wouldn’t. Why?”
“Perhaps he felt he was running out of time. What if his test results were bad?”
Carla sat looking out on the piazza, twirling the string of pearls that lay at her throat. Finally she turned to Abby. “You have to ask him. Get him to admit the truth.”
“There has never been much truth spoken between us.” She lowered her voice. “Besides, now I’m too scared to know the truth.”
Carla looked at her shrewdly. “If you don’t know there is anything wrong with Dante, why are you so upset? Is there something else? Has your grandmother had a relapse?”
Abby ignored her question. “You could ask him. He’d be more likely to tell a friend.
If I know Dante, he’ll not want his family to know anything is wrong.
” She looked at Carla pleadingly. “But he might unburden to a friend, especially if he thinks we don’t know each other.
Will you? Will you ask Dante and let me know? ”
Carla looked uneasy. “You want me to spy for you?”
“Sort of. Please. Don’t tell him we’ve met or that you’re going to report the full conversation back to me.”
“Will knowing help you with whatever has you so upset?”
“I’m not sure, but someone has to make Dante realize he doesn’t have to carry his problems locked up inside.
Stress is not good for the body, and if he is ill, less stress would be preferable.
He could do with having someone to confide in.
I want to help him.” Her throat constricted.
“I love him, Carla. Even if he does not love me.”
“If you love him, can I ask why you left?”
Abby put more sugar in her coffee and stirred. “I should never have married him when I was so young. I didn’t know what I was doing. I got scared and bolted.”
She looked at Abby with pity. “If it is bad news, how do I know you won’t ‘bolt’ again? He will need you. Can I trust that you will stay and support him?”
Abby’s eyes flooded with tears once more. “I’d never willingly leave Dante ever again. I love him.” She didn’t add that Dante might well tell her to leave once he learned of her condition.
Carla reached across the table and patted her hand.
“Then I will speak with Dante.” She held her hand up to stop Abby’s thank-you.
“That doesn’t mean he’ll actually tell me.
I can ask, but Dante is a proud man. He hates showing weakness.
He tries to be like his father, contained.
Dante’s father never told his family he was sick until he collapsed and was taken to the hospital.
” Carla looked sad. “He died very quickly after that. It’s not common knowledge, but he took an overdose of morphine.
Dante was furious. He thought his father gave up on them. ”
Abby remembered his savage comment as they went to see her grandmother in hospital. “Dante once told me he’d never give up. He’d fight tooth and nail for his life. Now I know why.”
Carla stood and moved to Abby’s side and kissed her on both cheeks. “Dante’s a fighter, Abby. If he is ill, I’d bet on him beating it. Anyway, don’t worry yourself sick until I’ve found out if there is any reason to worry. Promise?”
Abby gave a wan smile and stood up. “I promise.”
“Good, cara. I’ll take him to lunch before I leave for Brazil and report back to you. Ciao.”
Abby sat and finished her coffee. Her head began to pound from all the thinking she was doing.
Finally she felt composed enough to stand.
She went directly to her favorite store and bought a couple of cashmere sweaters for her grandmother and Dante.
She had to have something to show for her supposed shopping trip.
In the cab ride back to the villa, she tried to block out everything she’d learned this afternoon.
She’d have to put on the best act of her life when she got home.
She wasn’t about to tell Dante or her grandmother about her medical situation until her gynecologist had completed his laparoscopic inspection.
Then she’d know more about her fate. It would involve a night in the hospital and she’d scheduled it for the week Dante was to be in Paris on business.
One of the major department stores the Lombardi Group owned was undergoing a major refit.
Dante wanted to ensure it was staying on budget.
Until then she’d have to act as if nothing was wrong.
She contemplated telling her grandmother, but at this point she had nothing concrete to tell her.
There was no point worrying everyone until after the exploratory operation, when she would know with certainty what she was facing.