Chapter Eleven #2
“Let’s get the bill,” she said briskly. “I’ll pay for me and Walt.”
He waved her off. “I already took care of it,” he said. She began to protest, but he cut her off by saying, “What’s the plan now?”
They stood, and she was secretly grateful she didn’t have to ask him for a loan.
“I’d like to talk to Lillie’s doctor friend this evening,” Grace said.
“About strychnine, and where it might have come from.” She thought of Walt, rejecting her offer of help.
Tonight could have turned out so differently.
It made her eyes prick and sting. As if he had rejected her, too.
“How long had it been?” Theo asked quietly. “Since you’d seen your brother?”
She shrugged. “About a year. He wasn’t always like this,” she said defensively, her voice betraying her with the slightest shake.
She heard the drone of bees around them in the sunken gardens, could smell the hyacinths as they made their way toward the fairgrounds exit.
It made her head pound to think about all the people whose depths were shallowed out to only be what others saw.
The sheen of Wealth. The cracks of Pain.
A shadow of people, not ever their true essence.
Theo paused. “What was he like before?” he asked. His voice was interested but rough, uncertain, as though he were making his way down a path he’d never been before.
“When we were younger,” she said, “my parents were working late at the restaurant. Walt couldn’t have been more than ten, and we were home alone.
We heard some drunk, jangling the doorknob, trying to get in the house.
And Walt hid me, sheltering me with his own body.
” Her voice dropped into a whisper. “I’ll never forget the way his little-boy heart was beating, so fast.” It had been a light and frantic thing.
Like hummingbird wings. “He was so little himself, but he was determined to protect me.” She scrunched up her nose, determined not to cry in front of Theodore Parker.
When that failed, she tried turning the prick of tears to anger.
“There is nothing more painful than watching someone you love drown in front of you,” she said fiercely, “in an invisible water that you can’t stop. ”
And yet the tears were rising, threatening to spill out. There were three safe places for Grace to cry—with her mother, with Lillie, and with her pillow—and she feared she wasn’t going to make it to any of them. Theodore Parker was the very last person she wanted to cry in front of.
Thankfully, they passed beneath the fairgrounds gate and she quickened her pace.
“Please go,” she said. “I’ll meet you tomorrow.”
He hesitated, seeing her blotchy face. Then he tipped his hat with a stiff bow and obeyed, striding away from her.
She crossed the street and ducked into an alley, feeling the sobs rise. She wasn’t going to make it to her safe place.
She cried, covering her face with her hands. And then she felt someone’s strong arms wrap around her.
She knew it was him by the scent. Cinnamon and smoke. He didn’t say a word, because she would die of embarrassment, and he knew it.
But in that moment the last thing she wanted was for him to leave.
This realization was made infinitely easier because she couldn’t see his jaunty, arrogant face.
Instead she melted into him, and he instinctively tightened his arms around her.
She nestled in closer. She had no pride left. She just wanted someone to hold her.
“You’re going to be okay, Covington,” he whispered roughly against her temple. She felt his voice on her skin, sending a spray of sparks down her spine.
She took a deep breath.
By the time she opened her eyes, he was gone.
That night she was dressed in her nightgown, wrapped in a blanket, when there was a knock on the artist’s studio door.
She froze.
“Who’s there?” she asked. She grabbed the painter’s tool and threw on a robe, relaxing when she heard a familiar voice.
She opened the door to find Lillie standing outside in the rain.
“I got your message,” Lillie said.
Grace ushered her inside.
Grace lit a fire in the hearth, and they sat cross-legged on the bed.
“Now what’s this about?” Lillie asked as Grace set out small, chipped teacups from the cupboard and heated a teapot over the fire.
“I promised you no more secrets,” Grace said.
Lillie arched an eyebrow. “Yes,” she said.
“I went to the Tunnels today in search of answers about Harriet,” Grace said. “And instead… I found Walt.”
“Walt?” Lillie cried with a start. “Oh, Grace. In the Tunnels?” Her eyes widened. “How is he?”
“He looks terrible,” Grace said, this time letting her tears spill freely. Lillie slipped her hand in Grace’s.
“Poor Walt,” Lillie said. “Poor you, Grace.”
“Our brothers,” Grace said.
“What’s going to happen to them?” Lillie asked.
“Do you blame me for what happened, Lil?” Grace asked quietly. “Even a little?”
Lillie sighed and hesitated. “No. That would be ridiculous. You were loyal to Oliver then, just as you’re being now. That’s all I see.”
The weight in Grace’s lungs lifted. It felt so good to have Lillie there. Her presence filled the room like light filled a lamp.
Grace wiped her cheeks with the base of her palms and rose to pour them tea. “Walt’s agreed to look into some things I hope might help Oliver.”
“How good of him,” Lillie said.
“In the meantime, I was thinking you and I could pay a visit to your doctor friend.” She offered Lillie a steaming teacup. “Would she answer questions for us?”
“I’m certain she would,” Lillie said, accepting the hot tea.
“Should we go tomorrow evening?” Grace asked. “Could you slip away again?”
“Not tomorrow,” Lillie said. She sighed, taking a sip of tea.
“There’s a ball I’m expected to be at. Mother thinks it’s important we still go to functions, to show that we believe the charges against Oliver to be meritless.
But she won’t admit how drastically our social status has fallen since his arrest.” Lillie wrapped her elegant fingers around the teacup.
“So far that I’m not sure I can get you in this time. ”
“That’s all right,” Grace said, heart sinking. She had been hoping they might be able to interview some of the people who had been there the night of Harriet’s murder. “Let’s speak with Dr. May the night after, then.”
“Yes. I’ll send her a note arranging it.”
“How was your day?” Grace asked. “Did Copper, Earnest, or Frannie see anything of note?”
Lillie took a short sip. “Frannie didn’t seem much interested in my company,” she said delicately. She gave a little laugh, the way she did when she was hurt but trying not to show it. “I suppose she was just tired today.”
Grace’s eyes narrowed, her anger rising like a roused animal. She’d had more than enough of Frannie Allred.
“Please allow me to inform you that Frannie Allred is a notoriously heinous stuck-up shrew, Lillie.”
“Grace!” Lillie said, shocked into laughter. She covered her mouth. “What do you mean?”
“She just is,” Grace continued. “I’m sorry you finally witnessed her true colors, but I’m afraid this is how she’s always been.”
“To you?” Lillie’s face fell. “Has she treated you badly, Grace, and I didn’t even notice?”
“You don’t notice anything but the good in people, Lillie, and I can hardly fault you for that.” Grace squeezed her cousin’s hand.
Lillie frowned. “I can forgive a slight to myself but not to you,” she said. “I hope you know I would heartily run someone through with a sword for you.”
“Oh, I count on it. And in Frannie’s case, I’d happily supply one for the job.”
Lillie laughed. “It’s her loss,” she said, shrugging, with a jutting chin. “You’re my favorite person in the world. Anyone who doesn’t see that is beyond my help or good graces.”
“Something you might find from this unfortunate incident with Oliver is that misfortunes come with one benefit. They’re like a lens, showing who the people in your life truly are.”
Lillie drained her tea to the dregs, and Grace paused, clearing her throat.
“But Earnest still treated you well today?” she asked carefully. She stole a glance at Lillie’s face.
Lillie flushed, and Grace’s stomach turned a little. With what? she asked herself. Jealousy?
“He was kind,” Lillie admitted.
Grace looked at Lillie’s face in the firelight. She was so lovely. Grace had always adored her, thought she was the most enchanting person she’d ever known. She could hardly blame Earnest for feeling the same way.
“It’s all right, Lillie,” she said gently. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
Lillie’s mouth twisted. “Grace, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She buried her face in her hands. “I truly want him for you. It would solve everything.”
Grace slowly set down her teacup. It was true.
Earnest had been a dream she had hoped would resolve all her problems, and part of Grace wasn’t eager to let that go.
After all, she liked Earnest. He was funny and clever and attractive.
He had demonstrated good character. Her mother would be overjoyed.
She could stay in Lillie and Oliver’s lives.
And the petty part of her loved the way his attention toward her drove Frannie Allred mad.
It all worked so well on paper.
But perhaps, even given all of that, she liked the idea of him more than him.
“I would never stand between him and you,” Grace said. “Especially if you have feelings for each other.”
“But I don’t want to have feelings for him,” Lillie said, her voice muffled from where her face still lay in her hands. “So how can I?”
She lay her head down on Grace’s shoulder. “Perhaps it’s just because it’s all been so confusing this week.”
Yes, Grace thought. Perhaps that’s all it is, for both of them.
Her mind turned toward what Theodore Parker felt like, his heart beating strong and steady through his coat, his comforting arms wrapped around her—first that horrible night months ago at the winter ball, and then on the street corner only a few hours ago.
The memory of it set off a thousand glittering stars, erupting like fireworks in her night sky.
She rested her own head on top of Lillie’s. Why couldn’t she have fallen for Earnest?
And he for her?
It would all be so much easier.
She stifled a groan at the utter inconvenience of it.
That she might be developing feelings for the last person in the world she wanted to. That arrogant, irritating, and utterly bewildering Theodore Parker.