Chapter 35 #2
My balls clench at the sound she makes. Jesus. I’m barely even in. I tighten her hair in my fist and refocus.
“Perfect,” I whisper in her ear as I ease in deeper. “You’re doing so good, angel.”
“Mhm.” She closes her eyes, nodding as she whimpers.
I push a little further. Fuck, she feels like heaven. All velvet and warmth. “You feel that?”
“Yes,” she breathes, eyes still closed. “Yes. Yeah. I—” Her eyes fly open. “What was that?”
I freeze. “It was…me?” I say. I tighten my fist again, using every ounce of my self-restraint not to slam the rest of the way into her. “I fear I…” I exhale sharply through clenched teeth. “…don’t understand…the question, Gwenna.”
“You said you had a piercing,” she says. “But—”
Oh. Semantics. “I didn’t say a piercing,” I grit out. “Are you—”
Realization dawns.
“No, no, I’m fine.” She sucks in a breath. “I’m fine.”
“Great.” I give a tense nod. “Great. Now can you please let me fuck you before I spontaneously combust?”
I wait for her answer—I do, I know I do, but barely, like milliseconds of time after I hear it, because I need to be all the way inside her so badly it’s burning through me like acid.
I thrust in as slowly as I can make myself, and she is tight, she is so fucking tight and wet for me, but I manage to hang on.
“Kai,” she breathes. “Kai. God…”
“Look at you.” I hold on to my bearings just enough to grin at her. “Absolutely perfect.”
I pull out, just barely, and then in, harder this time, and she lets out a deep, shuddery moan that literally whites out my vision for a second.
Nope. I cannot fuck her like this and last more than thirty seconds.
“Come here,” I say, clamping a hand on either side of her waist. “Get on top of me.”
Inelegantly as fuck, I spin us around, gentle with her and clumsy with myself, and position myself between her legs.
“Go slow,” I say, arching my hips up slightly as I push lightly down on hers. She slides easily down my cock and I hiss out a breath. “Perfect.”
Better. I can work with this. Except that now those spectacular tits of hers are right there—
As if on cue, she rolls her hips, making her whole body gently bounce.
“Fuck.” I reach up and palm one soft pink nipple. “Fuck, angel, you’re going to kill me.”
Gwenna doesn’t answer—her teeth in her lip, her back arching to press into my hand.
I rock slowly under her, watching, rubbing her nipple until finally it’s stiff and I’m so fucking hard that I have to take it in my mouth.
I push forward, bracing her back with one arm so she doesn’t fall, and suck on her.
“Kai.” Her voice is liquid, wavering. “Kai…”
“That’s it.” I work my tongue over that nipple, shuddering a little against the damp, firm peak of it in my mouth. “That’s it.”
My hips are moving faster, pure animal instinct now, and I shut my eyes, just praying to God that she will come in the next ten seconds so I—
“Kai!”
Hands dig into my shoulders as her pussy clamps around me in sweet, rhythmic waves. I don’t waste time. With one final thrust up, I follow, exploding inside her hard and fast.
For a moment, the only thing I can feel is her breathing on my neck. I open my eyes—which apparently I closed—and release her nipple with a wet pop.
I look up at her. “You okay?”
“I…think so.” She leans back, scoops her hair out of her face, and slowly pulls herself off of me, falling gently to the side. “Phew.” She exhales. “I need to just…lie here a minute.”
“Take your time.” In the bright light of post-nut clarity, I am acutely aware of how quickly things are going to get weird, so I push myself up to sit, and I’m starting to reach around for my pants when I see Gwenna. Looking…confused.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m…nowhere?” I pause. “Just…I don’t know. Giving you space?”
Her brows draw together. “Why would I want space?”
I scratch the back of my head. “Because…”
Because we’re done? I thought?
“Do you want space, Kai?”
Want it? Space is all I’ve ever fucking had. I’m barely aware there’s any alternative.
But I can’t lie to Gwenna.
I shake my head.
Now she sits up, too. Pats the bed next to her. “Come back.”
I come back.
I lie down, head on the pillow, and Gwenna slides over to me, resting her head on my chest.
“I just figured…” I don’t know why I’m talking, I should really shut up, but too late now. “You know, given that you just were using me for my body and all—”
“What?” Gwenna says. “Why would you think that?”
My heart is pounding so hard that I know she can hear it.
“Because I’m…ribbed for your pleasure?” I shift around underneath her. “No, I don’t know. I just…” God, I don’t know what I just. “Wouldn’t be the first time, is all,” I finish.
“What do you mean?”
What do I mean? I stare at the ceiling now, absently stroking her hair.
“Par for the course.”
“How so?”
I think a moment longer. “Bio mom used me for an Adderall prescription, her boyfriend used me for a SNAP card to cash out for cigarettes, Luther used me to fight. I guess I’m just…used to it, you know? Used to being used.”
Fuckin’ Little Orphan Annie over here, Jesus. I hate that I said all that. Now I want to curl up and leave more than ever.
“Well, in that case.” Gwenna rolls over, so she’s on her stomach, chin on my chest, looking up at me. “I have no use you for you, Kai Pendragon,” she says, suddenly deadly serious. “None whatsoever.”
I’m so taken aback I actually laugh. “Really?”
“Really.” She nods. “You’re a purely elective part of my life.”
I grin. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” I say. I mean it, too. And…
…and you know what? Fuck it.
I’m impulsive.
I’ve done stupider shit.
“I love you, Gwenna Vale.”
She looks…alarmed. No, surprised. Not…angry, I don’t think. Not that I can do anything about it now, I guess.
I just keep stroking her hair.
“You do?” she says at last.
I nod. “Preeeetty sure.” I lift a shoulder. “Sorry about that.”
“No, I…I love you too. I mean, I think…” She screws up her face. “I love all of you. Maybe. Is that possible? I’m so…” She flops on her back and flings an arm over her eyes. “What does that even mean?”
I reach over and give her head a little scratch. “Means whatever you want,” I say. “I think we’re kind of past the point of…conventional definitions, here.”
She keeps her eyes closed, but relaxes a little. “What’s your definition, then?”
“Hmm?”
“What’s it mean when Kai Pendragon says I love you?”
I’m silent a moment. Just stroking her head. Looking at her: closed eyes and long lashes, dark hair and a few stray freckles. That nice little mouth that can do and say so much.
“It means I’ll do whatever would make you happy,” I say at last. “No matter how stupid. Or small. Or dangerous. And it means…it means if anyone ever tries to hurt you again”—I hesitate only a second—“I’ll fucking kill them.”