Chapter 11 #2
“It is if you’re working with me. I explained to you before if you don’t respect yourself or me enough to treasure your body, you’ll never treat your brand like it deserves. I won’t waste my time or energy on someone who values drugs over their dreams.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then how is it?”
“I like to let loose every once in a while.”
He nods slowly, then tilts his head. “I know, but there are other ways to lose control.”
“Such as?”
A flick of fire flashes in his hooded gaze. “Why don’t you tell me?”
The air in the room shifts, and all of a sudden I don’t think we’re talking about my business or drugs anymore.
I scan his face, searching for clarity. “I’m not sure I’m understanding.”
There’s a long stretch of weighted silence. His chest rises and falls faster than a moment before. He reaches up to his tie and works it down like he needs space to breathe.
His heated stare roams over me from head to toe. My nipples steeple, and I need to cross my legs to hold in the desire that’s building between my thighs.
I want to slap myself. This isn’t what I think it is. It never is, and I won’t cave to Jax and let him know how he affects me.
I turn to gather my belongings. “You have my word. I won’t use drugs anymore.”
“We’re not done.”
“Why?” I face him. “What else do we need to discuss?”
He remains focused on me. It’s like he’s having a fight inside his mind. Not just a battle. It’s a self-inflicted war, and I can see the ruin in his eyes.
“Why are you looking at me like that, Jax?”
“I was thinking about something.”
“What?”
He hits a button near the door, and the glass walls fill with smoke, making a barrier between us and the outside world.
He swallows hard. “What it’d be like to feel your lips against mine.”
Oh… Now this just got interesting. I let down my defenses a bit and decide to see how far he takes this.
“Well, this is a twist I didn’t see coming.” I step closer to him, taunting him. “Kissing me is dangerous.”
“Is that right?” He inches toward me while taking fiery glances at my mouth.
“Um, hmm. Some say it’s traumatizing.”
“Traumatizing?”
“Yep.”
He gets a little closer. “How about I do it once and tell you if the theory is correct?”
“No one can kiss me just once.”
He laughs, probably to release the tension. “Is that so?”
“Facts.” I tug on his tie. “If you do this, you’ll want more, and that’s why it’s dangerous.”
“Because I’ll want to do it again?” He rests his hands on my hips.
My pulse accelerates. “No, because you’ll fall in love with me and I’ll break your heart.”
“How can you be sure?”
“History. Every man who has kissed me has fallen in love with me, and I’ve wrecked them for all other women,” I lie while trying to gain the upper hand.
“Wow! So there’s risk involved.”
“Absolutely.”
“I didn’t get to be where I am today by playing it safe.” He leans into me.
And I let him. “After all this time, you’re willing to risk your heart?”
“I’ll be smart and remember this conversation forever. That way, I won’t fall in love with you, and you won’t be able to crush me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” I place my hands on his muscular chest.
His eyes lock with mine, and our breaths dance together. He closes in on me, and I lower my eyelids. His lips brush against mine, and my world turns upside down.
I never thought this would happen. To make sure it’s real, I press into him.
His tongue reaches for mine. The way our mouths fit together is like a puzzle with perfect matching pieces.
Every stroke and swipe of his tongue is like a soft but firm prod to tell me to give him more. I sink against his body as I savor the most amazing kiss I’ve ever had.
One of his arms wraps around my waist. With his other hand, his fingers weave into my hair, and he takes a fistful. He holds me tight.
It’s like he’s possessing me, but in a gentle yet commanding way. I could do this for the rest of the night. But I know I need to stop because I won’t let myself fall.
I pull away to remain in control. “And?”
“I definitely want to do that again, but I’m not in love with you, so…” His eyes twinkle like stars far in the dark sky reaching for Earth.
“Yet, but give it time and I’ll get you into my web.”
“We’ll see about that.” He releases me.
I step back, trying to maintain some sense of power. “Why did you allow yourself to kiss me?”
“I wanted to.” Something like a realization flashes in his gaze. It’s like he remembers something he had forgotten. He shakes his head and straightens out his jacket. “I’m sorry, Livianna. My actions were inappropriate.”
My arms flare out at my sides. “You can’t be serious about that comment.”
“But I am. I got swept up in the moment. It won’t happen again.”
My jaw drops. “I can’t believe I fell for it.”
“Fell for what?”
“This.” I gesture between us. “You wanted to get me to this point just so you could push me away and make a fool out of me.”
“That’s not anywhere near the truth.”
“Right.” Fire erupts in my chest. “Let’s pretend this didn’t happen.”
“Livianna… I’m sorry.”
“No, Jax. I’m so done with being dragged through uncertainty with men. I don’t deserve it, and I won’t tolerate it.” I gather my stuff and stomp toward the door. “Go get fucked.”
The fucking nerve. I rage inside.
Until he does something I don’t expect.
In a deep bedroom voice, he calls out to me. “Livianna.”
I stop right before I get to the door and spin his way. “What?”
He stands like a king with an agenda. His seductive stare hooks with mine.
He points to the floor. “Crawl.”