Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Trina
“This place is really nice,” I say, looking around the restaurant. “You made it sound like it was casual.”
“It is for New York,” Scott says, moving over in the booth so he’s directly across from me.
I glance down at my jeans and sweater. “I feel like I should’ve dressed better.”
“You look fine.” Scott hands me a menu. “Here. Have whatever you want.”
When I open the menu, I’m shocked when I see the prices. “This place is expensive. You sure you don’t want to go somewhere else?”
“Just pick something. Don’t worry about what it costs.”
Asher would never say that. He was really careful with money. When we’d go out, he’d set a budget for what we could spend. And yet he had no problem spending money on things for himself, like golf clubs, suits, tech gadgets, expensive watches.
The waitress arrives and we place our orders. I’m so hungry I could eat everything on the menu. I was going to get groceries, but then I got to thinking about Asher and what happened and I broke down crying. I’d probably still be crying if Scott hadn’t knocked on my door. I hope he didn’t hear me. I was trying to be quiet.
“Chicago, huh?” Scott says, folding his hands and resting them on the table. “That’s where you grew up?”
“Yeah, my family’s still there. And my best friend, Callie. I really miss her. I haven’t seen her in over a year. I haven’t even met her new baby.”
“Why haven’t you been back?”
“I was busy with work and planning my—” I stop before saying it.
“Planning your what?” Scott asks.
Should I tell him? I’m trying not to think about it, and talking about it will make me think about it.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say as our drinks arrive. I ordered a coffee because I’m tired and really need the caffeine. Scott ordered a green tea smoothie, which makes me wonder if he’s a health nut. But he eats cinnamon rolls, so maybe not.
I haven’t decided what I think about Scott. Is he really the immature party guy I thought he was, or is there more to him than that?
“I’m curious,” he says. “What were you planning?”
“I wasn’t really planning it. I mean, I kind of was, but not officially. It was more like I was gathering ideas. I couldn’t really do anything until we picked a date.” I look down at the table as an overwhelming sadness comes over me. I was so excited to plan my wedding. To marry Asher.
“You were engaged,” Scott says.
“Yeah,” I mutter.
“And now you’re not.”
“He ended it.” I look over at Scott. “Friday night.”
“Shit,” he says, rubbing his jaw. “And you had no idea it was coming?”
I shake my head. “I was shocked. I still am.”
“How long were you two together?”
“Four years. We were engaged for six months. We put off picking a date because we were both so busy with our jobs we didn’t have time to plan a wedding. Then I lost my job and was going to use the time off to plan the wedding, but… it’s not happening.”
“When was this? When did you lose your job?”
“Last Friday.” I sigh. “It was a really bad day.”
“Sounds like it,” he says, leaning back in the booth. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“Why would you?” I say with a shrug. “You just met me. I wouldn’t have even told you, but you asked, so…” I pick up my coffee and take a sip.
“I assume you lived with him?”
I nod. “It was his apartment. And everything in it was his.”
“That’s why you don’t have anything.”
“Just my clothes and a few personal items. Asher had everything packed when I got home on Friday.”
“I can’t believe he just kicked you out. Without any warning.”
“I know. I was surprised too, but that’s kind of Asher’s style. When he makes his mind up about something, he doesn’t want to wait. He just wants it to be done.”
“But you were with him for four years,” Scott says with a hint of anger. “How could he just decide it’s over without talking to you first? And then he just kicks you out on the street?”
“I’m guessing he decided to do this weeks ago and was waiting for the right time to tell me. But I honestly had no idea. Everything was fine, and then I got home Friday and he tells me it’s over.” I wrap my hands around my coffee mug and look down at it. “I feel like I missed the signs, but I keep going over it in my head and I can’t come up with anything. And then I wonder if maybe…”
“He was seeing someone else?”
“Yeah.” My gaze moves back to Scott. “Do you think that’s it? I mean, from a guy’s perspective, do you think he was cheating on me?”
“I can’t say since I don’t know him. I think it’s definitely possible, but it could just be he decided he doesn’t want to be married.”
“That’s basically what he told me. He said he wanted to put all his focus on his career.”
“What does he do?”
“Investments. He works on Wall Street.”
Scott huffs. “Well, that explains it. Those guys are all assholes.” He takes a drink of his smoothie. “Maybe you don’t want to hear this, but from what you’ve told me, it sounds like you’re better off without him.”
“I keep telling myself that, but it hasn’t sunk in yet. Four years is a long time. I’m not able to just let him go.”
Our food arrives and it looks amazing. I got an omelet with a side of toasted homemade bread and fruit.
“This is really good,” I say, taking a bite of the bread.
Scott isn’t eating. He’s holding his forkful of eggs, like he’s going to take a bite, but then doesn’t.
“How does he just leave you with nothing?” Scott asks. “The guy’s obviously got money, and he doesn’t even have the decency to get you set up with an apartment? And a bed to sleep on?”
My new neighbor seems really upset about this, which is nice, but surprises me. He doesn’t even know me. Why does he care?
“Well, he didn’t really leave me with nowhere to go. He called my friend Sara and made sure I could stay with her before he told me to leave.”
“And that makes it better? I’m sure he knew that wasn’t a permanent solution.”
“He did, but he knew I’d find a place. I’ve always been able to get by on my own. Like moving here. Nobody back home thought I’d make it in New York City. But years later, I’m still here, although I may not be able to stay if I can’t find a job.”
“Jenna said you did something with fashion?”
“I was an assistant for a designer. It was an entry-level job so I wasn’t able to do any actual design. It didn’t pay well, but those jobs usually don’t. There are so many people wanting to get in with a designer that they’re willing to work for next to nothing, or for free. That’s why I was fired. They hired an intern to replace me who’s willing to work for experience instead of pay.”
“I’m sure you’ll find something else.”
“Maybe, or maybe not. A lot of the jobs I qualify for are going to people who can work for free because they have wealthy parents who pay all their living expenses. I’m on my own. I mean, I could ask my parents for a loan, but I don’t want to do that.” I pick up my coffee and take a sip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you all my problems.”
“Hey, I asked.” He smiles, which I’m finding is my weakness. Every time he does it, it makes me more attracted to him. “Have you heard from your ex? Since this happened?”
“No, and I probably won’t. Like I said, when he makes a decision, it’s final. Well, except the decision to marry me.”
“That isn’t about you. It’s about him. It doesn’t sound like he’s ready for marriage. He shouldn’t have made you think he was.”
“He was trying to make me happy. I’m the one who wanted to get married. We’d dated for years and I was getting impatient. My friend Callie is already married with a baby and she’s known her husband for less time than I’ve been with Asher.” I set my fork down and look over at Scott. “It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. I wanted to be married by now, or planning my wedding, and instead I have to start over.”
“Starting over isn’t always a bad thing. Maybe this had to happen in order for you to meet the person you were really meant to be with.”
“I thought that person was Asher…” I say, my voice drifting off as I remember back to when I met him. I thought he was so sophisticated because he wore a dress shirt and tie to class. He was way more mature than other guys his age. He already had investment accounts set up and an account for his retirement. He grew up in a wealthy part of Connecticut, had gone to private school, and had traveled the world. To me, that meant he had a good upbringing and good parents. He checked all the boxes of what I wanted in a husband. But unfortunately, that isn’t a role he wants, at least not right now.
Scott’s phone rings. He glances at it and silences it.
“You need to get that?” I ask.
“I’ll call her back later.”
“Her?” I smile a little. “You mean the girl from last night? Whipped Cream Girl?”
He sighs in annoyance, but he’s smiling. “Please stop calling her that.”
“Sorry. I forgot her name.”
“It’s Bridget.”
“Got it. Bridget.” I tap my head. “I’ve filed it in my brain so I don’t forget.”
“You have a real problem remembering names. You couldn’t remember mine either.”
That’s because I was distracted by his hotness. He was wearing a towel when we met. It’s really not fair to expect me to remember his name when he’s practically naked and has a body like that.
“Yeah, I’m not great with names. And when we met, I was calling you something else.” I cringe, regretting I said that.
Why am I telling him all this? About Asher? About my job? And now my secret name for him? I blame stress, combined with my lack of sleep. It’s making me not think straight.
“What were you calling me?” Scott asks, giving me that half-smile of his that for some reason is really sexy.
“Nothing. Forget it.” I motion to his plate. “How are the pancakes?”
“They’re good. You want a bite?”
“No. I’ve got plenty.” I’ve almost finished my meal while Scott has barely touched his. “So how long have you been dating Bridget?”
“I’m not dating Bridget.”
“Does she know that?”
He laughs a little. “Yes. She does. Why are you so interested in Bridget?”
“Because I get the feeling you’re hiding whatever’s going on with you two.”
“Okay, I’ll make you a deal.” He leans forward, his eyes on mine. “You tell me what name you gave me, and I’ll tell you my history with Bridget.”
“So there’s a history,” I say, smiling at him. “I knew it. She’s your ex, isn’t she?”
“Give me the name and I’ll tell you.”
I pause, wondering if I should make something up. But then I decide to just tell him the truth.
“Let me start by saying I was really upset when we met. I was upset about Asher and losing my job and having to live in that tiny apartment, and then you had all that stuff in the hall so the movers couldn’t—”
“Trina,” he says, his eyes still on mine. “Just tell me the name.”
“The Jerk in Apartment 1B,” I say really fast, hoping he’ll not care and move on.
“The Jerk,” he says. “In apartment 1B. That’s what you called me?”
“Yes, but it’s only because I made up this mantra that all guys are jerks. I’ve been repeating it in my head ever since Asher kicked me out so that I’m not tempted to get involved with another guy.”
“So I’m a jerk because I’m a guy?”
“Well, it was more about you leaving a mess in the hall and playing your music so loud I couldn’t sleep.”
“And that’s why you couldn’t remember my name. Because in your mind, I was the jerk in apartment 1B.”
That’s not the reason, but I’m not going to tell him what really caused me to forget his name.
“Yes,” I say. “That’s why I couldn’t remember.”
“And are you still calling me that?”
“No. I’m calling you Scott now.”
“What did I do to get rid of the jerk name?”
“You gave me something to sleep on.”
“That’s all it took?” His brows rise. “You might want to raise your standards.”
“And you fed me,” I say, pointing to my plate.
“Again, you might want to raise your standards.”
“Are you saying I should go back to calling you a jerk?”
“I’m talking about other guys, ones you’re thinking of dating. Buying you a meal doesn’t mean they aren’t a jerk. You gotta have higher standards than that.”
“I do. But I’m not even close to wanting to date again so it’s really not an issue.”
“How long are you going to go without dating?”
“At least a year. Maybe two.”
He laughs. “Two years? I could see not dating for one or two months, but two years? Are you serious?”
“After what I’ve been through? Yes. I have no desire to go through that again.”
“Going on a date isn’t the same as dating someone for years and getting engaged.”
“I still don’t want to date. I’m too angry. And too distrustful of men.”
“So you’re going to let your ex keep you from meeting a guy who might be perfect for you.”
“This isn’t about him. It’s about me.”
“And what he did to you. You’re letting that decide what you do going forward. Is that really what you want? You think he’s going to do that?”
“Do what?”
“Stop dating.”
“He doesn’t have time to date. He’s too busy building his career. That’s the whole reason we broke up.”
“You broke up because he didn’t want to get married. That doesn’t mean he’s going to stop dating.”
“But why would he—” I stop as I realize what Scott is saying. Asher will date to get sex, or to give his ego a boost, or because he doesn’t want to go to dinner alone. “Now I feel even worse.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re right. Focusing on his career doesn’t mean he won’t date. Even if it’s just for…” I don’t want to say it, but Scott knows what I mean.
“Sorry I brought it up. I was just being honest.”
“No, it’s good. I’d rather know that now than run into him when he’s on a date.” I shove my plate aside. “I don’t know why I assumed he’d stay single. I guess because it hurts less to think of him being alone than with someone else.”
“You shouldn’t be alone either, at least not because of him. I know you said you don’t want to date, but maybe just think about it some more.”
“I have, and I can’t see myself getting out there again. In my head, I’m still marrying Asher. He was supposed to be it. I can’t imagine myself with anyone else.”
“That’ll change. It just takes time. And going out with someone else may help you get over him. You’ll stop seeing yourself with only him and be able to see yourself with some other guy.”
It’s not as easy as he makes it sound. My heart is still with Asher. As angry as I am at him for what he did, part of me still wants to be with him and marry him like we’d planned.
“Enough about me,” I say. “Now it’s your turn.”
“For what?”
“We had a deal. I tell you the name I called you, and you tell me about Bridget. I did my part. Now it’s your turn. What’s your history with Bridget?”