Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Trina
“You want the same shower head?” Scott says, getting out his phone. “I’m texting Cole about it now so I don’t forget.”
“What are my options?” I ask.
He looks up from his phone. “I could get you one like mine. It’s bigger than the one you have and the pressure is good. You want to see it before you decide?”
“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”
We leave my apartment and go over to his, which is like ten times the size of mine.
“This place is huge!” I say, looking around.
“It used to be two apartments, but I made it into one. I needed the space since it’s also my office.”
We’re standing in the living room which has two oversized couches, four leather chairs, and a massive TV on the wall. There’s a kitchen off to the left with a stove and full-sized refrigerator. I miss having those things. It’s funny how you take things for granted until you no longer have them.
I point to the hallway on my right. “What’s down there?”
“My office, a conference room, and an office my clients can use when they’re here. There’s also a bathroom and a walk-in closet I use for office supplies.”
“What about down there?” I point to the other hallway, the one that goes by the kitchen.
“My bedroom. Let’s go down there and I’ll show you the shower.”
“This is like two of my apartments,” I say as we go into his bedroom. “Maybe three.”
He smiles at me. “I’m a big guy. I need space.”
He has a king-sized bed, two nightstands, and a dresser, and still has plenty of space to walk around. As I look at his room, I imagine it filled with girls. Girls in panties and bras, or nothing at all, and Scott on the bed, trying to decide which girl he wants to be with next.
“Trina?” he says, waking me from my thoughts. “You coming?”
“Yeah.” I see him waiting for me at the door that goes to the bathroom. I walk over there, feeling flustered after thinking of him with all those girls. Why did my mind even go there? Good thing he can’t read my thoughts.
I follow him into the bathroom, which is huge. I love a big bathroom. The counter has two sinks and there’s a separate room that’s just for the toilet with a door that closes. There’s no bathtub, but there’s a shower that’s large enough to fit four people, maybe six.
Is there a reason it’s so big? Does Scott take girls in there? Multiple girls? Does it happen during his parties?
“You still with me?” Scott says.
“Yeah, sorry. I spaced out for a minute.”
I need to stop doing that. I need to stop thinking of Scott that way. I’m sure none of what I imagined actually happens, and if it does, it’s none of my business. He can do what he wants.
“What do you think?” He points to the shower head, which is a big square covered in tiny water jets.
“I like it. Do you think it’ll work in mine?”
“This size won’t, but they make a smaller version.” He takes a picture of it with his phone. “I’ll send this to Cole and tell him to get the smaller one.”
“I really like your shower.”
“Go ahead.” He moves aside. “Check it out.”
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I have my shoes on. I’ll get the floor dirty.”
“It’s a shower,” he says with a laugh. “It washes away dirt. Just go in there. Walk around.”
I step past him into the shower. “It’s so big, you really can walk around in it.”
Or do other things. There goes my mind again, imagining things it shouldn’t, except this time, I’m imagining myself in here. With Scott.
I hurry out of the shower. “I should go.”
Scott follows after me as I leave the bathroom and race through his bedroom.
“Hey, where are you going?”
When I reach the kitchen, I stop to catch my breath. My heart’s beating really fast after seeing that image of me with Scott. Why did that happen? Why would I imagine myself with someone else when I’m still with Asher? Well, I guess I’m not really with Asher, but I still love him. And he loves me. So why am I having dirty thoughts about another guy?
“You okay?” Scott asks, meeting up with me in the kitchen.
“Yeah.” I take a deep breath. “I just got dizzy for a moment, but I’m fine now.”
“You want some water?”
“Sure,” I say, since he’s already taking a bottle from the fridge. “I’m jealous of your refrigerator.”
“Sorry yours is so small.” He hands me the water. “But nothing else would fit in there.”
“I know. I just have to get used to it.”
“It’s only for three months.” Scott leans back against the counter, facing me. “Then maybe you can find a bigger place.”
“I can’t afford something bigger. I can barely afford what I’m paying now.”
“You could always stay past the three months. I’m flexible on the lease terms. You could do month-by-month if you want.”
“I don’t think I’ll need to.” I pause. “I think I might be moving back.”
“Moving back where?”
“With Asher.”
“The guy who kicked you out?” Scott asks, a hint of anger in his voice. “Are you serious?”
“I met with him today. He called and said he wanted to talk so we met at a coffee shop.”
“And?” Scott folds his arms over his chest. “What did he say?”
“That he didn’t think it through. He said he shouldn’t have just ended it like that. He said he needs more time.”
“More time for what?”
“To think about how to make it work with us.”
“Isn’t that something you two should decide together?”
He has a good point. But if Asher’s job is his issue when it comes to us being together, I can’t really help him with that.
“This is really more Asher’s issue than mine,” I explain. “He needs to find some balance in his life and not have it be so focused on work. Talking to him today, I think he’s finally realizing that.”
“Why? What did he say?”
“He talked about how much pressure he’s been under at work. I knew he was stressed, but he never told me why until today. I guess there was some guy at his job that was doing better than him and he panicked and decided he had to put all his focus on his career. He didn’t think he had time for both a relationship and his job. That’s why he broke up with me.”
“So what’s he going to do? Get a less demanding job?”
“I doubt it, but I don’t really know. He’s still figuring out what he wants to do. He just wanted to meet to tell me he made a mistake. He said he acted on impulse instead of thinking it through.”
“That’s a big decision to make on an impulse. You two were planning to get married, and then he just dumps you? Tells you to leave?”
“He was stressed. He wasn’t thinking straight.”
“If you’re stressed, you deal with it by going to the gym. Taking a walk. Seeing a therapist. You don’t break up with the person you claim to love.”
“You don’t know Asher. He’s very driven and competitive. Having some guy at work doing better than him made Asher want to do everything possible to beat him. That’s just the type of guy he is.”
“Yeah, I know guys like him. I used to work with them. And let me tell you, they never change. They may say they will, but they don’t. They’re obsessed with getting ahead, even if it means sacrificing their family. By the time they’re in their fifties, they’ve been married and divorced two or three times. Their kids want nothing to do with them. Their health is suffering. And yet they don’t stop. They keep wanting to achieve the next big thing. It’s never enough.”
“That’s not Asher. He’s not like that. Back in college, I took school more seriously than he did.”
“That was college. He’s in the real world now. That’s different. I bet he changed after college, when he got his first job.”
“Well, yeah, but it’s because he was just starting out and had to prove himself. But he’s been at this job for three years now so he doesn’t have to keep working so hard.”
“Trust me, it only gets worse. You get promoted and they expect you to do more, not less. They expect you to be there on weekends and work holidays and never take time off.”
“That’s not true for every job.”
“It’s not about the job. It’s about the person. Those high-stress jobs go to people who can handle it. People who thrive on the pressure and the competition. Sounds like your ex is one of those people.”
“Maybe a little,” I admit, because that does sound like Asher. “But that doesn’t mean he’ll become like one of those guys you described. Asher doesn’t want his whole life to be about work. He wants a wife and a family.”
“And yet he broke up with you.”
“Because he was overwhelmed and not thinking straight.” I set my water down on the counter behind me. “We shouldn’t be talking about this. You’ve never even met Asher. You don’t know him like I do.”
Scott sighs. “So let me guess. You took him back.”
“Not exactly. I agreed to give him more time.”
“Which means what?”
“It means I won’t date other guys. But I wasn’t going to anyway, so nothing’s really changed.”
“How much time does he need?”
“He said he doesn’t know.”
“So you’re just supposed to wait around until he figures this out?” Scott says.
“Basically, yeah. But I don’t think he’ll take long. He said he misses me and that he still loves me.”
“If that’s true, he’d want you back now. He wouldn’t want to wait.”
I glare at him, my pulse going faster. “Why would you say that?”
“Say what? That he wouldn’t want to wait?”
“Yeah. You’re implying Asher doesn’t love me. Or miss me. Why would you say that?”
“Because it’s true. Ask any guy and he’ll tell you the same thing.”
“Tell me what? What’s your point?”
Scott pushes away from the counter and stands in front of me, his eyes on mine. “Every guy wants to succeed in their career. And a lot of us are competitive and driven. But if we find the girl we want to be with, the girl we love more than anything, there’s no way we’re ditching her for our career. It’s not even an option.”
Hearing him say those words, and the way he looked me in the eye as he said them, is affecting me in ways I wasn’t expecting. Making me feel things I shouldn’t. I need to get out of here.
“I’m leaving,” I say, going around Scott and hurrying to the door.
“Trina, wait!”
But I’m already gone. I race down the hall and into my apartment.
And then I cry. I sink to the floor and cry. Because of Scott, and what he said about Asher.
Because I’m worried he might be right.