Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Trina
“I went on my date last night,” I say to Callie the next morning.
I called her as soon as I woke up. For the first time since moving here, I slept for the entire night. It’s because of that new mattress. It might’ve also been because of what Scott did to me on his kitchen counter. That was unreal. My entire body exploded with pleasure. It was pure bliss, until Scott ruined it by telling me to leave.
“It was a date?” Callie asks. “I thought you were just going out as friends.”
“We were, but we called it a fake date. I told Scott I was afraid to date because I’m so out of practice, so we decided to pretend last night was a date so I wouldn’t be so nervous when I went on a real date. But it didn’t really work. I’m too comfortable with Scott after spending last week with him working on the storage room.”
“What’d you guys do?”
“Drinks, dinner, and then he took me to a gallery that was having a fashion photography exhibit.”
“That’s like your dream date,” Callie jokes, but she’s right. It was my dream date… until Scott turned me down.
“It was a great night. The exhibit was amazing. We were there for hours.”
I’m sure Scott was bored being there that long, and yet he never said he was, and never once told me to hurry up. Asher would’ve complained after being there for ten minutes. Actually, he never would’ve taken me there. He has no interest in fashion. He wouldn’t even let me talk about it. Every time I tried, he tuned me out.
“It’s good you got out and did something. It sounds like you had fun.”
“I did, and I got to dress up. I’ve missed that. Getting ready to go out. Putting on a nice dress. Doing my hair and makeup. I haven’t done that for months.”
“Yeah, you love that. We’re complete opposites that way. If I’m going out, I just throw on jeans and a t-shirt, especially now, being a mom. Dressing up for me has become finding a shirt that doesn’t have a stain on it.”
“Scott dressed up too,” I say, remembering how my heart raced when I saw him. The guy knows how to dress, and he smelled really good. Too good. I kept wanting to get closer to him. “He took me to a really nice restaurant. We were there for almost two hours.”
“This is sounding more like a real date than a fake one.”
“It kind of turned into that.”
“What do you mean?”
I tell her what happened at Scott’s apartment, then describe our interactions earlier in the night. Holding hands. Standing close. Scott opening doors for me, and how I rested my head on his shoulder on the car ride back.
“I think you’re dating your neighbor,” Callie says when I’m done.
“I’m not dating him. He made that very clear last night when he told me to leave.”
“Or he was afraid of what would happen if you stayed.”
“But I wanted it to happen. I told him that.”
“Yeah, but then what? If you guys sleep together, it’ll change things. Even if you only did it one time, it’ll change how you act around each other. Plus, he’s your boss. Maybe that’s why he turned you down.”
“It’s not even a real job. I mean, it is, but it’s not like I filled out any paperwork. He’s paying me in a month of rent. The thing that really made me mad is that he sleeps with all these other girls but he wouldn’t do it with me.”
“Probably because he knows you’re not someone who sleeps with a guy you’re not dating. He didn’t want you having sex with him and then regretting it.”
“He did say I’d regret it. And he knows I’m a relationship girl.”
“So there’s your answer. He knows you want a relationship and that’s something he can’t give you. It’s actually good he turned you down. Most guys would sleep with you and not care. But this guy was thinking about your feelings, knowing you’d end up hurt if he slept with you and then moved on to someone else.”
“He shouldn’t have assumed that. Maybe last night I just wanted sex and that’s it.”
“You really think you could do that? Have sex without getting your feelings involved?”
“I’ll never know unless I try.”
“Trina, you know that’s not you. Think of all your old boyfriends. Like Lucas. The day after you slept with him, you told me you were in love.”
“I was 18. Everyone thinks they’re in love at that age.”
“What about Paul? The same thing happened, and you were 20.”
“Okay, but I had feelings for those guys before we had sex so it’s not really comparable.”
“You’re saying you don’t have feelings for Scott?”
“How could I? I barely know him.”
“You spend hours a day with him in that storage room. And he took you out on a date. It’s totally possible you have feelings for him.”
I do, but I’m not admitting that to Callie. And I’m telling myself the feelings are based solely on attraction and nothing else. After what happened with Asher, I don’t trust my feelings or what they mean. I thought I loved Asher, but now I’m not sure. How could I have loved a guy who kicked me out and lied about wanting to marry me?
“Scott’s my neighbor,” I say. “That’s it.”
“I said the same thing about Nash. And then I married him.”
“It’s not the same.”
“It kind of is. What you’re describing with Scott isn’t that different than how Nash and I met. I hated him at first, then liked him, then hated him again, until he finally won me over.”
“You never hated him. You just didn’t like that he kept coming over. You were annoyed with him, but you didn’t hate him. And Nash wanted to sleep with you. He didn’t turn you down.”
“No, but I made him wait a long time before we actually did anything. I was like Scott. I had no interest in a relationship. If Nash hadn’t come along, I’d probably still be single.”
“Do you think you could do it?”
“Do what?”
“Have casual sex? Assuming you weren’t married, of course.”
She pauses. “I think I could have in the year after the accident.”
“Why then?”
“Because I was numb. The grief was so bad I couldn’t take feeling that way anymore so I shut it off. I stopped feeling. It’s like I flipped a switch and turned off my emotions. Back then, I could’ve had sex with a guy and felt nothing.”
“Callie, I wish I’d been there for you back then. I’m so sorry I wasn’t. I was a really bad friend.”
“Hey, I get it. It’s hard to know what to say to someone when that happens. And you weren’t here. You were in New York, in school, and you’d just started dating Asher. You had a lot going on.”
“That’s no excuse. I still should’ve been there for you.”
“It’s the past. Don’t worry about it. Going back to this thing with your neighbor, what are you going to do? Just go back to how you were before last night?”
“I guess. It’s going to be awkward at first, but I’m sure eventually things will go back to normal. I doubt we’ll hang out anymore. I’ll finish up with the storage rooms and then we’ll just be neighbors, passing each other in the hall. It’s too bad we can’t be friends. I really liked hanging out with him.”
“Why can’t you be friends?”
“After what happened last night? We can’t be friends after that.”
“Why not? Nash and I did stuff, and then I told him I didn’t want that and we want back to being friends.”
“Yeah, but you both knew you’d eventually get back together.”
“Maybe Nash did, but I didn’t. I really thought we’d be nothing more than friends. I wanted us to be more, but I wouldn’t let myself. I wasn’t ready for that.”
“I don’t know if I could be friends with Scott. He’s too attractive. My body has this annoying habit of getting turned on whenever he’s around.”
“That’s actually good. It shows you’re able to move on from Asher. You could’ve spent all last week crying over your breakup, but instead you’re lusting after your neighbor.”
“I know. It’s weird. It makes me wonder if I really loved Asher or if I just told myself I did because I wanted to get married.”
There’s a knock on the door. “Trina? Are you awake?”
I groan. “Scott’s at the door. I gotta go.”
“Okay. Let me know what happens.” She ends the call.
“I’m coming!” I yell, making my way to the door. I swing it open and see Scott looking annoyingly hot in a fitted gray t-shirt and jeans. I didn’t check myself in the mirror, but I’m sure I look awful. I’m not one of those girls who wakes up looking perfect.
“You want to earn some cash?” he says, being very business-like. I guess that answers my question about us being friends. I’m only his employee now.
“What does that mean?” I say, leaning against the door frame.
“I need help setting up the party. Cole usually does it, but his leg is bothering him and I don’t want him making it worse.”
I sigh. “You’re having another one of your all-night parties?”
“Today’s Saturday, so yeah. I don’t know if it’ll go all night, but if it does, you’re welcome to stop over after you get off work.”
“I’ll pass.” I notice his gaze drop to my chest and realize I’m braless and wearing a white t-shirt that’s basically see through. Let him look. I don’t care. It’s not like it’ll lead to us doing anything. “How much, and what do I have to do?”
“Fifty bucks, and I need you to get the stuff from the storage room and bring it to my apartment.”
“The storage room next to me?”
“Yes, and you only have to get what’s on the floor. Ignore the stuff on the shelves. That stuff’s only for themed parties and holidays.”
“You have themed parties?”
“Yeah, they’re a blast. I’ve got a waiting list of people wanting to be invited.”
“Are you sure you’re 29?”
He laughs. “Having fun doesn’t have an age limit. Why don’t you come tonight? You don’t have to stay long. Just show up, have some food, maybe a cocktail.”
“No, thanks. I’d rather sleep.”
The truth is, I don’t want to go there and see Scott flirting with other girls or taking one back to his room. Why can’t I be one of those girls? If they can have casual sex, why can’t I?
“You won’t get much sleep with the party going on. Come on. Just stop by.” He smiles. “You might actually have fun.”
“When do you need this done?” I ask, trying to ignore my body’s reaction to him. Seeing him in that tight shirt. Smelling his intoxicating cologne. Watching him rub his scruffy jaw with his hand, the one that was all over me last night. It’s got my body all warm and tingly in places it should be feeling nothing, especially at nine in the morning while talking to my employer.
“That depends,” Scott says. “What time are you working for Frank?”
“Two, but I’ll probably go there early and get something to eat.”
“Then you should get started soon. It might take a few hours.”
“A few hours? I thought I was just taking stuff out of the storage room.”
“You’ll need to inflate all the chairs and get the tables set up. Oh, and you’re coming over for breakfast. Cole’s already next door with a pan of his freshly baked cinnamon rolls.”
I stare at Scott like he’s lost his mind. Does he really think I’d have breakfast with him after our fight last night?
“I’m not having breakfast with you.”
“You can’t work on an empty stomach. It’s like what I said about sleep. I need my employees to be at their best, which means rested and adequately nourished. Speaking of sleep, how was the mattress?”
“Good, but I’m still not agreeing to breakfast. I’m going to shower and get to work.”
“How’s the new shower head?”
I put my hand on my hip. “Are you just going to stand there and keep asking me questions?”
“I’ll leave if you agree to come over for breakfast.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Because your stomach’s growling,” he says, pointing to it.
How in the world did he hear that? It wasn’t that loud, was it? Maybe he has exceptional hearing.
“Go ahead and get ready. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He leaves.
“I’m not going,” I call after him. “And I want to be paid upfront.”
He walks back to me, pulls out his wallet, and hands me a fifty-dollar bill. “I’ll give you an extra ten if you show up for breakfast.”
“Why do you care if I eat breakfast?”
“Why are you refusing to go? I’ve got eggs, bacon, and homemade cinnamon rolls.”
That does sound good. My stomach’s growling just hearing him talk about it.
I sigh. “Did you forget what happened last night?”
“Not at all. Last night was great.”
“Yeah, until you kicked me out.”
“I didn’t kick you out. You left.”
“After you turned me down,” I say with a huff.
“You’re mad because I didn’t take advantage of you?”
“I wanted it. You wouldn’t have been taking advantage of me.”
“You’d been drinking. And you just broke up with your fiancé.”
“So if I was sober and had been single for months, you would’ve done it?”
“Why are we talking about this? You know what I’m like. You were disgusted by me when we met. Judging me for having girls over. But now suddenly you’re okay with it?”
Am I? If I became just one of the many girls Scott’s been with, would I be okay with that?
“You’re invited to breakfast,” he says in a curt tone. “Up to you if you want to show up.” He takes off and goes back to his apartment.
Is he mad at me? He can’t be. He rejected me. I’m the one who gets to be mad.
As I’m showering, my stomach growls even louder. The only food I have is a box of crackers and a stale loaf of bread. Maybe I should go have breakfast. I need to eat, and Cole will be there so it won’t just be me and Scott.
I finish up in the shower and get dressed. Instead of my usual sweats, I put on tight jeans and a fitted t-shirt. I’m tired of wearing sweats. I need to mix it up. My clothing choice has nothing to do with wanting to look good for Scott. Or that’s what I’m telling myself.