Ben- You want one
Jesus, beautiful disaster was right.
She was completely wasted– I held her long forgotten purse over my shoulder as evidence of that– and she was completely gorgeous– as usual– with her long black hair swaying loosely around her shoulders and down her back as she danced.
She was also sad.
And I was responsible for that sadness. Again.
It was a dick move to scare everyone off her, and it clearly made her feel bad.
I wished I could’ve gone back in time and talked myself off the fucking ledge, but watching that guy with his hands on her had me seeing red in a way that I’d never experienced before.
Now I had second hand embarrassment for her with how Brian the bartender treated her, carelessly shoving the drink and bill at her. And then she definitely struck out when trying to break into conversation with the guy group that surrounded Blondie.
I hated that insecure look on her face, and I dug my palm into my chest to ease the tension I was feeling there. That insecure look is on her face because of you, asshole.
But at least her insecurities seemingly vanished now. She drank them away. I shook my head at her drunk dancing.
Leaning back against the brick wall, I lifted my hat and ran a hand over my hair. If I wasn’t on the job, I’d totally join her–
No. Nope. My brain couldn’t go there. I couldn’t let my brain go there.
Rolling back my shoulders, I fixed my stance and did another surveillance check through my watch.
Good thing I did.
Multiple guys were at the back door, hoods up, exchanging things through long sleeves.
Fuck.
“Coleson, you seeing this?” I asked.
“Yupp, was just about to contact you. Let’s get moving.”
“Make sure you give us at least five.”
Even if those guys were grunts within the organization, which looked like they were, they’d still know her face. Everyone was most likely on the lookout for her. They couldn’t risk a big wig being taken down, and she alone had the ability to do that with her testimony.
I plowed my way through the crowd to get to her. “Time to go, Mags.”
Her jaw dropped open. “What?! No! The DJ is here until 1am! I'm staying.”
“Yeah, she’s staying Benny boo,” Blondie slurred, grabbing Maggie’s hand.
My jaw tightened and I leaned in close to her. “People are crashing this party,” I whispered. “Bad people.”
I expected that to wake her up a little. I expected her to straighten up and follow me out.
I did not expect her to roll her eyes and say, “It’s fine , that’s why you’re here. I trust you to keep me safe.” She shooed me away with a flick of her wrist and tried to follow Blondie further into the dance floor crowd.
While I loved her admitting her trust so freely, she really wasn’t understanding how this worked. I grasped her wrist and pulled her back into me. I pulled a little too hard because she smacked into my chest. Her eyes widened at the contact. “I’m going to keep you safe by taking you out of there,” I forced out.
Her eyes flashed and she shoved away from me. “No, I’m not ready to go yet.” She turned on her heel and stomped away.
I dropped my head back in frustration. Why couldn't this woman ever listen to me?
I checked my surveillance watch again. The guys were still in conversation at the back door. I gave it a few minutes before they wandered inside. A few more before they scanned the crowd for who was all here tonight. She needed to be long gone by that time.
Across the dance floor, she gave me a sassy smirk that said she won and threw her hands up to the beat of the music.
I scoffed. Why couldn’t she get it through her pretty little head that we were on the same team?
Breathing deep, I made peace with the fact that I was about to cause a scene getting her stubborn ass out of here, but it’d be a smaller scene than what would happen if those guys came in here and spotted her.
Disappearing into the crowd, I made my way back to her and maneuvered behind her dancing. She didn’t even look over her shoulder, Blondie shot her a thumbs up, so she just continued dancing, enjoying the male attention behind her.
She smoothed back so we were touching, so we were basically grinding, and my dick jumped to attention. Annnd we were done.
I clasped my hands on her ribs and spun her around.
Her shocked face morphed into a pout. “I thought you were someone else.”
I hated that my heart dropped through my ass. “Gotta go,” I muttered.
“I told you already. I’m staying,” she slurred.
“And I told you we’re not. We could do this the easy way or hard way, Maggie.” She ignored me. “Maggie,” I said sternly.
“Benny,” she shot back, resuming her dancing.
“You’re not gonna like my way,” I warned, crossing my arms over my chest. “Giving you five seconds.”
“Oh please, relax, Ben. No one’s gonna come attack me on the dance floor in front of everyone. And dancing is my favorite and I barely get to–”
“Five.” I scooped her up and threw her over my shoulder.
“Ben!” she shouted in protest.
The crowd parted like the red sea for us as I power-walked straight out, ignoring the bouncer yelling at me to “put the female down.” I quickly lifted my shirt to flash him my ID. He snapped his mouth shut and gave me a tight nod.
At least she wasn’t trying to wiggle out of my grasp this time, she fell limp against me, seemingly accepting that this night was over.
I quickly threw her in the backseat and she immediately splayed across the entire bench. “Your car is spinning,” she croaked out.
Shit.
“Don’t barf,” I muttered before hightailing it to the front seat.
“Why’d you put me back here?” she asked, looking around her as I quickly peeled out of the parking lot. “My seat is up there.”
I smirked. “Because you’re drunk and I need to focus on getting us home.”
“I’m not that– OhmyGod! My purse!” Her eyes went wild with panic as she searched the backseat.
“Relax,” I chided. “I got it.”
“Where?”
“Up here with me.” I reached across to the shotgun seat and lifted it. “You left it on the bar after drink number four.” Beautiful disaster.
“Oh,” she said softly before laying back down. “Thank you, Ben.”
God, why did she have to say my name all raspy like that? My name on her lips made me want to claim them, to claim her. No one called me by my first name except my family. I was “Capretti” of “Cap” to everyone else.
She stayed silent for the next five minutes. I adjusted the rear view mirror to see if she was sleeping. She wasn’t. She was staring up at the car ceiling. A tear tracked down her cheek.
No, no, no.
I hated female tears. And it was all my fault. I shot myself in the foot tonight. I’d take fighting off ten guys over having to face a crying Maggie. Because those tears made me feel like a helpless piece of shit. I didn’t know how to comfort anyone. At least with my guys, they knew I was emotionally stunted. They came to me for an escape, not to talk things through, and they could trust me to shove a beer at them when they were feeling some type of way and not talk about it. But with Maggie… I knew she needed more than that. I wanted her to feel better, but I was way out of my depth here.
“Can I do anything? Get you anything?” I asked lamely.
“You can’t get me what I want.”
“Uh…” I scratched my cheek. “What’s that?”
“I want to eat Ben and Jerries,” she sniffled.
“Okay.”
“In the Target parking lot.”
My forehead creased. “We can–”
“Alone.”
I shut my mouth. Yeah, that wouldn't be happening.
“For what it’s worth… ” I cleared my throat and pulled at the back of my neck, “I’m sorry I had to pull you out of there.”
She sniffled. “It’s fine. I’m not even mad about that. I’m used to you now.”
Yeah, we both knew why she was mad, and it had nothing to do with me throwing her over my shoulder. She was mad about her boyfriend mission–that I fucked her over with.
“All those guys sucked, Mags. Why do you care about what any of those assholes think?” I asked before I could stop myself. The need to help her, encourage her, was too damn strong.
She let out a big sigh. “I have to. I need one,” she murmured.
“Need?” I squinted at her through the mirror. “You don’t need anyone,” I said forcibly.
“Want. Whatever. I want one.”
“Exactly.”
Her eyebrows screwed together. “What?”
“You want one . You put the emphasis on the wrong word there, Mags. Quality over quantity. Just keep looking for your one,” I told her.
She sighed and turned away from me, making my heart thump painfully in my chest.
“That was nice of you.” She harrumphed. “Now I’m waiting,” she said over her shoulder.
“Waiting for what?” I wished she’d turn over again so I could read her face.
“For you to be an asshole, ya sour patch kid. Where’s the follow-up sassy remark, sir?”
“Sour patch kid?” I asked, amused. With the alcohol in her system, she clearly wasn’t pulling any punches. “What’s that mean?”
A steely expression remained on her face as she waited me out for an answer.
Damnit. I breathed deep at the stoplight, letting my shoulders slump. “I’m sorry for the assholeness.” I rubbed my forehead. “I’m still trying to find my footing. I wasn’t expecting to be in this situation, which I know isn’t fair to you. You weren’t expecting it either.”
“You’ve never been in a bodyguard situation before?” she asked curiously.
“I have,” I choked out. And you don’t want to know how the last one ended.
“Then what’s the problem?”
You. You’re my problem. It’s different with you and I can’t even explain why.
I caught the inside of my cheek between my teeth, mulling over my response without blurting out that she was beautiful and kind and my urge to protect her was almost overwhelming. She made feelings surge up inside of me. Feelings I hadn’t had in years. Like wanting to share my bed with someone at night. Therefore she was a danger. A huge fucking danger. To my ability to stay unattached– in more ways than one– both professionally and personally.
I settled on saying, “I’m sorry, I’ll be better.”
“God, you’re so… robotic.” She flipped back around and stared at me with those big green eyes in the rear view mirror. “You didn’t even answer my question. We’ll be spending nine weeks with each other. Nine!” She was right. Earlier today, Coleson informed us the court date would be November 8th. “I just don’t know why we can’t at least try to be friends instead of having this awkward hot, cold situation going on.”
“Friends,” I repeated. I rolled my neck, feeling slightly irritated at the word, but knowing I had no right to feel that way.
“Yeah, friends,” she said with a sigh. “If you haven’t noticed, I only have, like, two here. One more would be nice.”
The more I thought it over, the more I realized friendship was actually a good solution. A perfect way to build trust. And, now that I was officially friendzoned by her, maybe my body could give it a rest and stop reacting to her.
I nodded. “Yeah, Maggie. I can be your friend.”