Chapter 18 Elior #2
“It’s sad. I mean, it might be nice not to feel certain things so deeply like I do.
I’d like to not be so afraid. I’d like to be able to just not care about some things.
About Father. When I’m upset, my whole body feels it.
It’s hard,” I murmured. “But I think not being able to feel the warm joy of when the flowers bloom in Spring, or the excitement just before doing something you love, or even the melancholy that comes over me when I think about the times I enjoyed as a child. Isn’t it sad?
To live in shades of grey instead of a rainbow? ”
Jace didn’t interrupt me. He just listened, really listened, his head tilted and a thoughtful look in his eye.
“Only you could hear what I said and feel sad on my behalf.” He laughed softly, then added, “But you’re assuming I don’t have any color at all.”
I looked up at him, surprised.
“I don’t feel things the way you do,” he clarified. “That part’s true. But it’s not empty. Well, not all the time.” His thumb traced a slow line along my hairline. “It’s… selective.”
“What do you feel?”
“I feel satisfaction. Interest. Attachment. Possession. Annoyance. Anger. And when I say attachment,” he continued, “I don’t mean the warm, floating kind you’re probably thinking of… Honestly, I’ve never tried to explain this before, baby. It’s harder than I thought.”
Something fluttered in my chest. “You haven’t talked about this with anyone before?”
His short nails raked through my hair, gently scratching my scalp. “Not like this. When I was a kid, I said some things to my nanay. Things that I didn’t realize at the time should’ve remained as ‘inside thoughts.’”
I hummed, closing my eyes.
“She rightfully freaked out,” he continued, the scraping of his nails sending pleasant tingles down my spine.
I kept my eyes closed, strangely relaxed despite the subject, and just listened.
“She didn’t want anyone to know, though.
She needed me to still be the perfect son she bragged about.
So instead of taking me to a doctor, she took me to her priest. It was frustrating—a waste of time.
So I learned to pretend. If I acted the way people expected a regular kid to act, they’d get off my back. ”
I frowned a little. “Did your mom know you were acting?”
“Yeah, I think so. But it was more important for me to excel at school and in extracurriculars than to put me in real treatment.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not liking that his needs were ignored in favor of public appearance. Then I winced. It wasn’t like my father was any better.
“It’s fine. If she had gotten me actual help, then I’d have a diagnosis following me.
I wouldn’t have been able to get the job I have now.
This way, I’m able to slip under the radar.
No one knows, so they can’t bother me about it.
” He scoffed. “Although I’m sure they have their suspicions of me now. ”
“‘Cause of me?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I should’ve gotten in a fuck-ton of trouble for what I did. The only reason I didn’t is that it would’ve been a headache for the higher-ups.”
“Sorry…”
He laughed, tugging me closer. “You didn’t do anything wrong, El. I did. The only reason I’m not sitting in jail right now is that you lied and told them I never touched you.”
“They didn’t need to know that,” I mumbled, ears going red.
“No, they didn’t, baby,” he agreed, gazing at me affectionately. “You protected Daddy, you know.”
“I wasn’t trying to. I just didn’t want to tell them that stuff.”
“I know, sweet boy. But whether you tried to or not, you did,” he said, kissing the top of my head.
I was quiet for a minute, then asked, “So… what do you feel for me?”
“At the very beginning, I remember thinking you were adorable.”
I squirmed, nuzzling myself further into his side. “Really?”
His hand slid from my head to the back of my neck, squeezing lightly. “Really.”
“And um… after that, Daddy?”
His hand tightened, then relaxed. “I don’t think you’d like to hear that.”
Well, now I really wanted to.
“It’s okay. I know you were using me,” I said softly. “Tell me. Please?”
Daddy sighed, tapping a finger against my skin. “Okay. But if I do, I need you to keep listening till the end. Till I get to now.”
I nodded, my heart thudding hard.
“Alright. Well, like I said, I found you to be really fucking cute. I had several conversations with myself about not fucking the cult leader’s son.”
I laughed, imagining that.
“You were very much my type. Not like the guys I used to fuck and leave. You… you were more of a fantasy. Something I’d always wanted, but thought didn’t exist. Your innocence and naivety tempted me.
I tried to ignore it. I started getting close to you to get information on your dad.
It was rather obvious you liked me, so I was milking that,” he recounted.
“It was fun to see the reactions I could get out of you.”
“I can’t tell you when it all started to change.
You were just so fucking perfect, baby. I wanted—no, I needed to have you.
You were so pure and good, and it was just too easy.
No one was in my way. So I snuck into your room and indulged.
It just snowballed from there. You were mine.
It felt like a fact. God, and then Malachi decided to fucking lose it.
I had to hold myself back from killing him the night he whipped you.
I decided right then that I was taking you out of there with me, no matter what. ”
He continued, “By the day of the raid, I would’ve done anything for you.
I sat through way too fucking many hours of questioning and psych evals and reeducation and shit, because there wasn’t a universe where you wouldn’t be coming home with me.
I had to watch you get worse, had to distance myself, had to let so many people look at you and speak to you and touch you when none of them deserved it. It was hell on Earth.”
“For me too, Daddy,” I whispered, hiding my face in his chest.
“I know, baby, I know,” he murmured, running his hand up and down my back in comfort.
“The day I finally got to take you home was… I don’t even know how to describe it.
It was fucking bliss. I got to wash off all of their touches and scents from your skin, dress you in clothes I bought for you, keep you in my bed, eating my food.
I could finally touch you however I wanted, and no one could see you without me knowing about it.
You were finally just mine—Jesus, this is making me hard,” he swore.
“Get up here and sit your ass on my cock.”
“O-oh, okay,” I said, a little startled, my cheeks pinking. I climbed onto his lap and sat on his bulge, biting back a whimper at the way it pressed against me. Daddy gripped my hips, keeping me right where he wanted.
“Good boy. Why don’t you grind a bit?” I swallowed and began to rock my hips against his erection. “There you go. You’re Daddy’s perfect little obedient boy, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“You know, I never really cared about the caregiving aspects of being a Daddy before you. I mean, I had a fantasy of finding someone like you, someone I could isolate and groom to be all mine. Someone I could make utterly dependent on me. But I didn’t think it’d ever actually happen. Fuck, I need your mouth, baby boy.”
He didn’t wait for a response before moving me off his lap. My penis was achy, pressing against the bars of my cage, desperately trying to swell up. Daddy undid his pants and fished his cock out as I got comfortable, curled up by his side, with my head in his lap.
He rubbed the head of his dick against my lips, smearing his precum over them like a gloss. I breathed in Daddy’s musk and whined, opening my mouth and holding out my tongue.
“Aw, is my baby thirsty?” he cooed, looking down at me. “Here you go. Gentle now. Just suckle on it.”
My eyes fluttered shut as the salty taste of him met my tongue. I did as he said, my cheek pressed against his strong upper thigh. I felt like I was melting into him. His fingers played with my hair as he sighed contentedly and continued talking.
“I’m convinced you were made for me, Elior. You thrive under my control; you soak up every ounce of attention I give you like a plant starved of water.”
I hummed my agreement around his length.
“And then last night… God, baby. You were magnificent,” he praised. “I had been worried that you’d pull away scared if I ever let myself loose like that. You’re just so soft, and I didn’t want to break you. I never want to break you. But you took all that I had to give you.”
I felt pride well up in my chest.
“I won’t be like that all the time, though.
That would be too much for you, even if you think otherwise.
And that’s okay, cherub, because I love being soft with you.
What matters to me the most is that you’re mine and taken care of like the precious gem that you are.
I can be sweet on you and still be in full control.
I only really need to be rough when I’m too worked up, like from that asshole of a defense attorney yesterday. ”
I unlatched from his cock for a second, “Want you to be more honest about your feelings, Daddy,” then popped it right back into my mouth, moaning at the flavor.
He tilted his head slightly, studying me. “You mean sharing the darker thoughts?”
“Mhmm.”
“I can do that… It might just take some getting used to,” he said, before thinking for a moment.
“I love you, El. I need you to understand that that was never a lie or something I said just because I knew you wanted to hear it. My love is just different than yours. I don’t get butterflies when I look at you, like I’m sure you do.
When I imagine my future, you’re in it by default.
Not as a question. Not as a hope. As a constant—an inevitability.
And when I imagine you gone—choosing someone else, living a life that doesn’t intersect with mine—it doesn’t make me sad. It maddens me.”
I hummed around him, the vibration pulling a groan from his chest. My eyes flicked up, meeting his—dark, intense, and locked on me like I was the only thing in his world. He stroked my cheek with his thumb, tracing the stretch of my lips around his shaft.
“Even if you end up wanting to leave me, understand that I will never let you go.”
I didn’t pull off to answer, just nodded slightly, suckling a little deeper, my tongue swirling under the ridge. The way he throbbed against my palate sent heat pooling in my gut, my body responding to his every word, every touch.
“I will find you wherever you go, he continued, his free hand cupping the back of my neck, holding me steady, “and I will teach you why you never run from Daddy.” His hips shifted just a fraction, pushing a bit more into my mouth, but still gentle, letting me set the pace.
I moaned softly, the sound muffled, my cheeks hollowing as I sucked harder on him.
Saliva dripped down my chin, but I didn’t care—I was focused on the way he swelled, and on the confessions spilling from him.
My hand slid up his thigh, fingers brushing his balls, cupping them lightly, rolling them in my palm to draw out more of those deep, satisfied sighs.
“Fuck, Elior,” he breathed, his grip tightening in my hair, not yanking, just anchoring. “That’s it.”
I pulled back just enough to swirl my tongue around the tip, lapping up the fresh bead of precum, before sliding down again, taking him halfway, my throat relaxing to accommodate.
The obsession in his voice wrapped around me tighter than any rope, making my pulse race. I wanted to tell him I felt it too—that pull, that need to be his completely—but my mouth was occupied, devoted to pleasing him.
He chuckled low, the sound vibrating through his body into mine.
“Look at you, so eager. Sucking Daddy’s cock like it’s your lifeline.
It is, isn’t it? Without this—without me—you’d have no idea how to live.
But I’ll never let that happen. You’re etched into me, baby.
Every inch of you.” His thumb pressed against my lower lip, feeling the slide of his dick in and out, possessive and tender all at once.
The ache in my jaw was starting to build, but it only heightened the thrill, the intimacy of the moment.
I bobbed slower, deeper, letting my lips drag along his length, teeth grazing ever so lightly.
His breath hitched, and he rewarded me with a firmer pet to my head, fingers massaging my scalp just the way I liked.
“You’re going to make me come, baby,” he said, voice dropping to a growl. “What’s gotten you so desperate? Do you like Daddy’s darkness?”
“Mmhmm,” I groaned around his length.
“Yeah? Such a perfect fucking boy,” he grunted, beads of sweat glistening on his forehead. “It’s coming, baby. Fuck, it’s coming. Drink up.”
On his next thrust, hot spurts of cum shot onto my tongue, coating my mouth with the taste of him. I swallowed continuously, taking gulp after gulp down my throat until my belly was full.
With my head delightfully fuzzy, I pulled off from Daddy’s softening cock and sprawled out across his muscled thighs.
“More hot chocolate, please,” I breathed.