Chapter 8 #3
“This is a hell of a party,” Calhoun says to me. He’s young, in his rookie season and shows a lot of promise playing for Minnesota. “You know, I grew up idolizing your dad.”
I laugh, trying not to make it sound bitter, and take another sip of Gavin’s water. “He’d love to hear that.”
“I think I’ll pass. He terrifies me.”
You and me both, kid, is what I want to say. Instead, I settle on, “I can introduce you, if you’d like.”
“No thanks,” he says and shakes his head. “I gotta know. What was it like to grow up raised by him?”
“Exactly what it looks like now,” I say. “Exhausting.”
“I don’t envy you,” Calhoun says. “I did before this week, but damn. He’s intense.”
“You’re telling me.” I laugh and this time it’s genuine.
He taps my water bottle with his beer. “But you’re alright, man,” he says. “I’m excited to share the ice with you.”
“Thanks,” I say. “That’s good to hear.” And now that I’ve heard a similar sentiment from three different teammates, I finally understand what Gavin has done here. He’s humanized me to most of the team.
“What are we standing around for?” Nichols asks, coming over and pushing me and Calhoun out onto the dance floor. “There’s chicks all around us dying to dance!”
I laugh at how ridiculous his statement is. I couldn’t care less about dancing with women. But I do spot Gavin being pulled along as well by Bouchard and I definitely care about dancing with him.
Gavin
Okay, it’s possible Connor’s drunk. Because as hard as I try, I can’t stop him from obviously trying to dance with me.
And each time he sways his hips near mine, it gets that much harder for me not to grab hold of them and press him against me.
I’d give anything to spin him around and let our bodies grind together.
Let my hands wrap around his body, placing one on his hip and the other across his chest, holding him steady against me.
But I can’t, and I know it. So instead, much to his dismay and mine, I keep spinning a new girl in his direction and watch to see how long it takes him to frown and move out of their clutches. He’s becoming well practiced at it.
“You’re such a dick,” he says to me with humor in his voice the next time he gets close enough.
“And you’re being a tease,” I say to him as I spin away and slip another female between us.
He frowns at me, but I see a challenge in his eyes. This has become a game to him. Unfortunately, I can’t give him the prize he wants. Me.
I can admit, I’m already a goner for him. There’s a ton of good-looking men here, and I haven’t been recognized nearly as much as some of my other teammates. I could score on the down-low easily. But as I look at Connor, trying to find his way back to me, I don’t want to.
But I also can’t give in to what I want.
Even taking a taste of Connor, pressing my lips against his, would be the first domino to fall, ruining me.
I know how I am. I’m capable of having the occasional anonymous one-night stand but that’s not what Connor is.
He could never be that to me. I know him, and worse, I’m starting to care about him.
Really care about him as more than even just my teammate.
All the hate I’ve ever felt for him is gone.
He’s lit a fire in me, and it’s not only felt on the ice inspiring me to play some of the best hockey I’ve ever played.
I feel it everywhere. It’s getting so much harder to contain.
I look towards the balcony exit of the club and make my way out there, hoping no one sees me go.
I need a minute to center myself. Once I’m outside, I take a deep breath of the cool desert air.
It’s quiet out here, except for the dull thumping I can hear beating against the walls inside of the club.
I find a secluded spot and look down at the Las Vegas Strip below.
It’s so different from where I come from.
I used to climb the mountains behind the ramshackle houses in the area I grew up in and look down at trees on one side and the vast ocean on the other.
Now, everywhere I go there are lights, and buildings.
They both have their perks, but right now, I miss being at home away from it all.
I miss the quiet and the privacy. If Connor and I were in Alaska, I could give in to what’s calling to me and no one would ever know.
I feel him step beside me against the railing before I hear him say, “Thought you could get away from me.”
“No.” I laugh. “There is no escaping you.”
He nudges me with his elbow, then very subtly runs his fingertips over mine where they’re wrapped around the railing. “You don’t have to.”
“I do, though,” I say and resist the urge to look at him. I lean more heavily on the railing. “If I give in to you… to this, I won’t be able to hide.”
“I doubt that.” He laughs. “You being gay is the best-kept secret in the league.”
“Me and you together would blow that secret wide open.”
“It doesn’t have to. We’re both already good at hiding.”
“We’re not that good,” I say and finally look at him.
Here, in the glow of the Las Vegas Strip, he looks truly beautiful.
Handsome and strong, sure of himself as he asks for what he wants.
“The truth about both of us lives right underneath the surface. And Bouchard’s already noticed that you’ve brought out my protective streak.
That’s only going to get more obvious if I give in to what I want.
I’m not the kind of guy who can just be casual about something I’ve claimed as mine. ”
Of course this makes him blush, and I come so close to caving in. Instead, I quickly brush his cheek.
“See,” I say. “You can’t conceal this.” I lick my lips. “And I can’t resist it.”
“You’re doing a good job of resisting it right now,” he points out, then turns away from me. “But I guess I see what you’re saying.”
I let our fingers tangle on the railing, concealed by us standing as close as we are. “Trust me, Connor. If I could, I’d make you mine in a heartbeat.”
“I’d like that,” he says and leans his shoulder against mine. I should pull away, but I don’t. I can allow myself this little indulgence if I can’t have anything else.
“Hey!” Bouchard yells, causing us to shift apart. He’s looking at us from across the large balcony, right near the doors that lead back into the club. “What are you two doing?”
“Captain stuff!” I yell back at him. “You wouldn’t understand!”
Connor busts out laughing. He quirks an eyebrow at me. “Captain stuff?”
I shrug at him. “It’s better than the truth.” I push away from the rail and beckon him over with my hand. “Come on. We should go back inside.”
He doesn’t follow. “I think it’s time for me to go to bed.”
Truthfully, it’s time for me to do that too. But I know if I follow him to our room right now, I’ll just end up tumbling into his instead of my own and wrapping him in my arms, never letting him go.
“Yeah,” I say. “I wish I could join you, but it’s for the best if I don’t.”
He nods his head and blows out a breath, and I reluctantly turn around and follow Bouchard back inside.
He steps in front of me when the door shuts behind us. He’s looking at me, deadpan. “Captain stuff? Seriously.”
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head and laughs, then steps to my side and throws his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s get you back on the dance floor.”
But it’s the last place I want to go.