Camden
“How are you doing?” LeAnn smiles, taking a sip from the whiskey bottle I brought to the party tonight, and then she shrugs.
“I’m okay. Mom called me last week to check in. She’s still pissed I didn’t go with her, but I told her I don’t want her life.”
“That’s good. You’re kind of a badass,” I say with a smile, stealing the whiskey bottle back. School is winding down. It’s March already. And Sandy Thompson is having her birthday party out in the country, just outside her parents’ house.
We never have house parties like you see on television. Country kids can’t be contained. But out here with the bonfire raging and nothing but a dark, starry sky, I realize I could actually miss this someday.
I mean, not the small-town ideas. Or having to sneak around with Kingston instead of being able to make out here, out in the open, like some other couples are doing. Not that I would, but still, it’s nice to have the option.
It all feels so easy when it’s just him and me in my bedroom, locked behind the door. But then we go to school, and I want to reach out for his hand or kiss him up against the lockers, and I can’t.
That’s when it hits home how little I truly fit in here. I look up at the stars, shining bright in the black sky, and my heart squeezes tightly in my chest because I know I can’t stay.
He hasn’t even asked me to since we started fooling around. It’s almost like a parting gift. Like every time he gives me so much pleasure, and it actually feels like I might black out, he’s saying goodbye.
“You can always visit.” She reads my thoughts easily.
“I don’t know if I’ll come back after I leave.”
She lays her head on my shoulder. It’s still cool out, though spring is finally here. “I know.” She sighs softly. “He can always visit you.”
I smile sadly because it always comes back to Kingston for me, and she knows it.
Speaking of him, where the hell did he go? Last time I saw him, he was sitting with Oakley, but he’s disappeared. “I’ll be back in a little bit,” I say as I jump off the tailgate, and she holds onto the whiskey.
“Watch out for Kennedy. She’s dressed up for man-hunting tonight.”
I hope she’s kidding, but her face tells me she’s not. “That’s just great.”
She cackles, and I head off into the woods to search for Kingston, hoping I don’t find him with Kennedy. Not that I would care. I mean, I know he said he’s done with her, and I believe him, but LeAnn isn’t wrong when she says Kennedy has a hold on him.
But when I find him, he’s all alone, looking out over the barbed wire fence attached to a wooden fence post. “Hey, what are you doing?”
He turns, but he doesn’t seem startled, like he knew it would be me. “Just thinking. Can’t believe this is one of the last parties in school.”
I walk closer to him, looking out at the empty field on the other side of the fence. “There’ll still be plenty of parties.”
He looks sad, though, not smiling and bright like I’m used to as he shrugs his large shoulders. “Yeah. I know. But it won’t be the same.”
The toes of my shoes hit his now as I grab his hips and look him in the eyes. “No, it won’t be. It’s going to be okay though.” I lie because I don’t feel like it will be. Maybe I should just stay. I can’t imagine leaving him. I don’t know how.
His hand moves to the back of my head, and his forehead rests against mine. “You can’t stay for me.”
Damn, can everyone read my mind? “I want to.”
His skin slides against mine as he nods.
“I know. At least we have now.” His lips press against mine carefully, and I know we shouldn’t do this here.
We should go back to my house. But right now, I feel needy and desperate, so I grip his shirt and pull him into a heated kiss, our mouths colliding as his back hits the post.
Our hands are groping, touching as much of each other as we can as I explore his mouth, rocking and rutting together against the fence post. I’m hungry for him. The heat coming from his body, despite the cool weather, makes me want to strip him naked.
But then, to my absolute horror, I hear a loud gasp coming from behind me. “Oh, my fucking God. What the hell?”
No. No. No.
Kingston’s entire body goes rigid, and we don’t move. We stay frozen there, our bodies connected, and our lips still touching. Like if we stay still, maybe she’s not really here. Maybe she didn’t see anything.
“Kingston? Oh my God. You’re fucking Camden?”
Shit. Kennedy. My hand is shaking as I slowly drop it from his shirt and turn around to see Kennedy standing there, her jaw dropped and fire in her eyes.
I turn to look at Kingston, who’s still frozen, his face so damn terrified I could throw up from causing him that sort of pain. That traumatic sort of terror.
“Kennedy . . .” I start toward her, one hand up as if to calm a wild animal, which is kind of what she looks like right now.
She looks panicked as she steps back. “Don’t talk to me. Oh my God. You’ve been fucking him? No wonder you wanted me out of the picture. You’re disgusting.”
I try not to flinch. “No. I haven’t.”
“What the hell was that?” She waves her hand rapidly. “I saw you two. I saw you kissing each other. Groping. Oh my God.”
“Stop,” I say calmly, but she’s pacing now.
“This is why you dumped me?” She’s looking at Kingston now, who’s still just standing there. His face is pale, and he looks like he may be sick. “Answer me! Were you cheating on me . . . with . . . with . . . Oh my God. You’re with a guy?”
“Stop,” I say again, but then LeAnn walks through the trees and spots us, a worried expression on her face as she tries to catch up.
“What’s happening?”
Kennedy turns to LeAnn frantically. “He’s fucking Camden. That’s why he broke up with me. He wanted to be with a guy.” She hugs LeAnn tightly, and LeAnn turns to me, looking a little confused but also knowing.
“Okay, just calm down.” She pries herself free from Kennedy. “I don’t think that’s why you two broke up. And why do you think that?”
Kennedy’s voice is high-pitched and shrill. “They were kissing. Like full-on kissing.”
“You don’t know what you saw,” I say, trying to cover. Trying like hell to save Kingston from this, because I know he can’t do this. He’s the King of Kensley High. His reputation is everything to him. And in town, it’ll ruin him.
“I know exactly what I saw.” Kennedy turns to me, her eyes furious. “You were kissing him.”
“Hey, you and Kingston are not together anymore. What he does is his business,” LeAnn says firmly, and it’s good to know she’s on our side, even though the whole situation is fucked.
“But he’s gay,” Kennedy says the word gay like it makes her sick, and I want to scream.
“No, I’m not.” Kingston finally speaks, and it’s only to say that. My stomach twists, and my heart actually aches, but I ignore it.
“He’s not.”
Kennedy just shakes her head from side to side. “I’m telling everyone. This makes so much sense. This is why you broke up with me.” She’s crying, but there’s no part of me that feels sorry for her. Only hot rage.
“You aren’t going to tell a soul,” LeAnn says with an almost deadly edge. “I mean it.”
Kennedy turns to LeAnn, blinking like she’s shocked. “Did you know about this?”
“None of it matters. All that matters is you aren’t saying a goddamn word, or I swear to Christ, you’ll regret it.”
LeAnn looks a little scary right now, and once again, I’m glad she’s on my side. Kennedy looks horrified. “How can you defend them?”
“Because they did nothing wrong. And you will keep your mouth shut. It’s not your place to say anything.”
Kennedy turns to Kingston. “I can’t believe I let you touch me. Were you fantasizing that I was a guy?”
“Jesus Christ,” I say, disgusted with her.
Kingston doesn’t say anything. He’s in shock, and I know I need to get him out of here. “Come on, let’s go.” LeAnn grabs Kennedy’s arm, leading her away. “Not a word.”
LeAnn shoots me a sympathetic look as she ushers Kennedy away, and I move toward Kingston, gripping his face in my hands to check on him. But he flinches and pulls away. It hurts. It cuts so damn deep, I think my insides are shattered, but I just drop my hands. “Kingston. It’s okay.”
“I can’t believe that just happened. Fuck.”
“She’s not going to say anything. I promise.”
He doesn’t look sure. In fact, he still looks pale and terrified. I did that to him. I put him in this situation. I knew better, knew we were getting too comfortable. But I did it anyway. “She’s vindictive. She’ll tell everyone.”
I can’t allow myself to be hurt by his fear of being outed when he’s not even gay. When this whole thing just started to give me some experience. So, I try to push past those feelings. “We’ll tell everyone she’s lying. No one else saw anything. They all know how she is.”
“They’ll come at you, Camden. You’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“So?” I feel defensive and can’t hide it.
“So we’re fucked,” he says, the anxiety in his tone frightening me because Kingston doesn’t worry about anything.
“Let’s just go back to my place, and it’ll be okay,” I say.
“I think I should probably go to my house tonight. Let it all settle down.”
That fucking hurts. Slices right through me. But I agree and drive him to his house before going to my lonely, empty bed. Hating myself for putting him in this position.
I was almost out of here. Why the hell did I have to tell him? Why did I start this whole thing?
I was almost in the clear.