Jameson
Ican’t stop thinking about Dixon and his bed, his hand wrapped around both our cocks and stroking us until we came. It’s on my mind way too damn much. It’s only been three days, and I haven’t gone back to his room since then, even though I’ve wanted to.
Every. Single. Night.
He’s definitely becoming an addiction, but I’m trying to be good and pace myself a little. I can’t have him every night.
No matter how badly I want to.
Still, I haven’t been giving him the cold shoulder either. He’s asked a couple of times if I was coming over, but I’ve told him the same thing—that we need to pace ourselves. We have to play this carefully.
But listening to our history teacher talk about some old presidential election, my mind is only on Dixon.
And the fucker keeps catching my eye as he draws in his notebook instead of listening. I can’t stop the stupid grin on my face, and then I see that I’m not the only one watching. Travis’s eyes are on Dixon and then on me.
His suspicion is clear, and I try my best to not look at either of them for the rest of the class. When the bell rings, I gather my stuff and head to my locker, but Travis is there before I can escape. “Please tell me you’re not.”
I slowly turn around to look at my best friend, and I know he can see the truth. There’s really no reason to deny it. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal.” He’s thoroughly freaked-out. “It’s Dixon.” Why does everyone say his name like that? Jesus, we are judgmental assholes because I know it wasn’t long ago I thought the same way about him as Adam and Travis do.
“I know who he is.” And what he tastes like. Well, his mouth anyway. I haven’t had a chance to taste his cock, but I want to. I clear my throat and turn around, willing my dick to calm the fuck down because now is so not the time.
His hand on my arm makes me turn back to look at him. “This is serious. You know that. He’s loud and dumb.”
“Hey,” I say a little too loudly, but I’m sick of this shit. “He’s not dumb.”
His jaw drops slightly, and his eyes widen. “What? Have you fallen for him or something?”
I laugh at that. It’s my initial reaction because that’s insane. “No.”
“No?”
My eye catches Dixon’s from across the hall, his eyes firmly on me and on Travis’s hand that’s still on my arm. I look back at Trav. “No. It’s not like that. But dammit, Trav, I just want this. I want something for me. You know how that is.”
His gaze softens slightly, and he squeezes my arm once before dropping his hand. “We have less than a year left. Have patience, and you can get out of here. You can be you and have everything for yourself.”
“That’s you.” He studies me with curiosity, looking disheartened.
But we both know my truth. “You’re going to get out of this town, and I can’t wait for you to have that.
But me?” I place a hand over my chest and look him dead in the eyes.
“You know this is all I have. When I graduate, I’m going to be expected to work full-time at the farm. To meet a nice girl and settle down.”
He shakes his head, looking at me with pity that makes my heart and stomach ache. “You don’t have to do that.”
“But I will,” I say with all the indifference I can muster, like it doesn’t kill me to admit. But we both know it’s true. I’m not going to go against my dad’s plan for me. I can’t disappoint him that way. “This is my time. This is all I have.”
“You don’t have to settle.”
My eyes glance in Dixon’s direction again.
He’s joking around with Christian and Oakley, but his eyes are still on me.
He’s gorgeous, wearing his black and red letterman’s jacket and jeans.
His hair is messy in that perfect way. His eyes shine with mischievousness and so much joy, just from making his friends laugh.
But I also see a glimmer of something else in them when he eyes Travis and me.
Something a lot more sinister.
“Yeah, I’m not settling. I could do a lot worse than Garrison Dixon,” I say with a smirk in Travis’s direction, and he shakes his head at me, letting out a puff of air.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.” He leaves me there, and I grab my next book, heading to class, but a hand captures my bicep and pulls me into the bathroom before I can say a word.
Dixon is standing so damn close to me, I can smell the cinnamon gum in his mouth. And he looks furious, which is a weird look for him. “Yeah, this isn’t suspicious at all.”
“What were you two talking about?”
I roll my eyes, but I smirk because he’s totally jealous. “Me sneaking into his window tonight.”
“That’s not funny.” He puts one hand on the wall next to my head, and I laugh.
“Relax.”
“I’m serious, Bates.” He puts the other hand next to my head, trapping me in, then leaning in close. My heart pounds erratically in my chest, knowing this is stupid. Anyone could walk in, and that would not be good. “I. Don’t. Share.”
That shouldn’t be so fucking hot, but it is. I grab the collar of his t-shirt and pull him in even closer. “Neither do I.”
“Then why were you flirting with Travis in front of me?”
I laugh at that. “You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that?”
He grins at that and steps back, removing his hands from the wall, and I can’t lie—I miss the close proximity of his body.
“I know. I can’t help it. I know you’re not mine or anything.
” I must look surprised by that because his eyes widen a little bit too, and he rushes to say, “I mean, I don’t want that.
We aren’t together, but we are kind of together.
I mean, sort of, and I don’t want you to . . .”
I decide to take pity on his rambling ass and walk a little closer to him. “Hey, relax,” I say softly. “As long as we’re doing whatever this is, I won’t be with anyone else. And I expect you not to be either.”
He looks relieved by that as he nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, okay.” He pushes his hand through his hair that I now know is really soft. “That’s good. That’s what I wanted to hear.”
“All right. That’s settled then.”
“My room tonight?”
I grin, giving him a quick nod and then risk a quick kiss before shoving him away and heading out the door to class before we get caught or we’re late.
I can’t wait for tonight. Who would have ever seen this shit coming?