Jameson
My ass hurts. There’s no doubt about what happened last night. And God, I wanted it so damn bad, I couldn’t wait to get back here with him. I don’t know why I needed it so badly last night, needed him inside me, but I did. And he delivered.
Maybe I needed to solidify whatever the hell this is. I don’t know. I can’t really explain what’s going on between Dixon and me. I think maybe I’m afraid to look at it too deeply. Maybe it makes it too real.
But lying here on my side, with the big goofball passed out behind me, curled up into my body and making me the little spoon as I stare out the window at the sun coming up, I have zero regrets.
I probably should, but I don’t. Dixon is snoring in my ear, and I shake my head with a sappy smile on my face. My thoughts go to my dad at the farm and how I need to get home soon. Despite last night being homecoming, I’ll still be expected to do my chores this morning.
There are no exceptions in the Bates house.
“You leaving?” I hear Dixon’s deep voice and feel his breath in my ear, his morning wood poking me. I roll over to look at him.
“Yeah. I have chores.”
“Want me to go with you?” I shake my head because his hair is even more wrecked than usual, and he’s wearing a sleepy grin, already halfway back to sleep.
“No thanks. I’m good.”
“Yes, you are,” he says as his eyes fall back to closed, and I climb out of bed, finding my clothes and pulling them on. His eyes pop open as I walk over to the window, and he sits up, the blankets falling to his waist and showing off those stacked muscles.
Fuck, I want to climb back into bed with him. Bite those firm muscles with my teeth and soothe the sting with my tongue, but I know I can’t. Responsibilities fucking suck.
“What are you doing tonight?”
I shrug, grabbing my keys out of my pocket. “I have no idea.”
“Let’s go see a movie or something.”
“A movie?” I cock my brow suspiciously at that because it sounds an awful lot like a date. And we’d have to go about an hour from here to get to the nearest movie theater.
“Yeah. A movie. Maybe dinner too.”
“That sounds like a date, Garrison.”
“Come here.” He waves me over, and damn it, I go. He grabs my hoodie, pulling me down to him. “Maybe it is.”
I look into his eyes, seeing that same mischief I always see but something a little deeper too. Something that scares the hell out of me but maybe not as much as it should. “That could be a problem.”
He shakes his head, still holding on to the collar of my hoodie. “No problem.” He doesn’t seem worried in the slightest. But for whatever reason, his carefree attitude doesn’t drive me insane. “Just you and me going out. And maybe fucking afterward.”
My eyebrow rises, and I smile. “My ass still hurts.”
“So maybe you’ll do the fucking this time then.” Blood rushes to my cock so fast, I feel dizzy, and the son of a bitch grins because he knows what he just did to me. “You like that idea.”
“You know I do.”
“So go out with me.”
I swallow hard, my stomach fluttering with nerves because sex is one thing. Dating? Going out together in public? That’s a whole new thing. “What if someone sees us out together?”
“Then they do. We’re friends. Teammates.”
“We aren’t friends,” I say with absolutely no conviction, and he knows it.
“Say yes, Bates.”
I nod my head stupidly and drag my hand from his hair down to his cheek, letting it rest there as our noses rub against each other. “Okay.”
“That’s not a yes.”
“Yes,” I say against his lips before I kiss him goodbye. I should say no. I know that, but I can’t seem to. I know, deep down, this is my only chance at this. School will end soon, and I’ll have to travel down my father’s path. Dixon will do God knows what.
And this will be all I have.
By the time I get home, Adam is already in the barn, not looking all too surprised at me just getting home. “Have fun with Dixon?”
I ignore his question because I know he doesn’t really care about the answer. “Dad here?”
“Nope. Didn’t notice you weren’t either. He and Mom had to get to the farmers’ market. You lucked out again.”
He’s shoveling shit from the stalls, and I know he’s pissed-off. “You could have had fun last night too. You were there for the winning game. You actually had a hell of a game.”
“Of course, I did, but I knew I needed to be up early today, so I came home after the dance.”
I saw him at the dance too. Hanging out with Zach, but that was pretty much it. He didn’t dance, and he didn’t really talk to anyone else. That’s my brother for you. “Well, you could have. You can do something for yourself, Adam.”
He doesn’t look at me, just keeps going about his work. “I’m not you, Jameson. I’m not selfish.”
My throat tightens with the rage I feel at his statement. I hate that I feel guilty, that I let his words get to me. “Fuck. You.” Eloquent, I know.
He ignores me, working like always, and I grab a shovel and do the same.
So maybe I’m being a little selfish. I don’t care. Soon, I’ll be giving it all up anyway.