Jameson
Ican’t believe I just did that. Garrison made me brave, that’s for damn sure. But I’m a little worried he might have made me a little stupid too.
My dad was furious. I went from probably never telling him to telling him on graduation day?
Of course, it would have been impossible to explain any other way. Although I’m sure my dad would have been fine to sweep it under the rug and pretend like it never happened. But I couldn’t do it. I never entertained that for a second.
“Not that I don’t like driving around with you, but do you have a plan?”
Nope. None. Shit.
“I have a little money saved. Let’s go to that motel on the edge of town. I can stay there for a bit while I figure out what I want to do.”
I watch his fingers tighten on the steering wheel, and I can feel the argument coming. “You can go back, tell him it was a joke or something. You don’t have to lose your family for me.”
“I’m not.” I look through the windshield at the dirt road and the trees ahead. “I meant what I said, Garrison. I love you. This is what I want.”
I see the flicker of a smile on his lips, but he doesn’t let it take over. “You can love me and them at the same time.”
Hurt burns in my belly, thinking about my dad’s words. “I do love them, but they’re going to have to love me too.”
He takes my hand in his now, using the other to drive. “I love you. I’ll love you enough for them if they’re too stupid to do it.”
I grin at that. “I have no doubt.”
“But I don’t want you to do this just for me. My parents will probably come around. Yours are different.”
He’s not wrong. I saw how serious my dad was. He won’t come around, I’m pretty sure. But crazier things have happened.
Look at Dixon and me.
“I’ll try to talk to him again, but right now, I need space too. I need to just let myself be, for once.”
He squeezes my hand and drives us to the rickety old motel in the shady part of town.
I rent a room for the week, and he walks me there.
We both look around at the mustard-yellow blanket on the bed and the television mounted on the wall.
That’s pretty much it. There’s a small bathroom I’m a little afraid of, but it’ll do for now.
“This place is shady as fuck. Why don’t you just come back to my house?”
I shake my head at that and sit down on the old bed. “Nah. You just told your dad about you. I don’t think bringing your boyfriend to spend the night is a good idea.”
“Jameson.” He sits next to me, looking so damn distraught as he cups my face in his hands. “You don’t have to do this. You have land and a house coming to you.”
“And I don’t want it,” I say out loud for what feels like the first time ever. “I don’t. That’s his life, not mine. I don’t know what I want, but I know it isn’t that. We can do this. You and me. We can figure it out together.”
“I’m scared,” he says, and I lean forward, pressing a kiss against his mouth. “I’m never scared, but I’m scared now. I don’t want you to resent me.”
“I won’t,” I say it easily because I know I won’t. “I’m going to get a job, and I’m going to rent a place. And it’ll be fine.”
It really does feel fine, even though I was thrown into a tailspin I didn’t plan on today, but I guess that’s how tailspins work. You don’t see them coming.
“Maybe we can get a place together,” he says, and finally, his smile appears.
I nod my head. “Yeah. We can do that.”
His forehead rests against mine, and we just stay like that, breathing each other in and letting the day settle.
It’s been nothing but chaos and insanity with Garrison Dixon.
And I wouldn’t trade a second of it for the world.