Travis
“So any updates on Ryan?”
I sip my beer quietly, sitting in the chair next to Jameson, my best friend in the world, who I’ve been lying to for a couple of weeks now. Because I haven’t told him about Oakley and me hooking up.
I tell Jameson everything, but it would be weird to talk about this thing with Oakley—whatever it is. He knows him. We’ve all known each other pretty much our whole lives.
And I don’t really know how Oakley identifies—he doesn’t seem to be too worried about it. Still, it’s not my place to out him in any way.
“No.”
Jameson eyes me hard now, and I do my best not to look at him. I focus instead on the fire pit in the middle of his backyard and the people he’s invited over for a Friday-night cookout. Of course, Oakley is having a damn good time with his best friend, who doesn’t seem to be grilling him.
“No? Why not?”
Because I don’t feel good enough for a guy like Ryan. Because I’ve been avoiding talking to him, and I’m not ready to meet him. Because I’ve been fooling around with who I thought was my nemesis but who’s actually started growing on me.
But I can’t say any of that. And don’t.
Instead, I just take another sip of beer and shrug. I don’t want a lecture about how I’m good enough. I don’t want to hear that I don’t have to meet Ryan until I feel like it’s right. And I can’t tell him about Oakley.
So there’s no reason to talk about it, and I just hope the subject changes quickly because not talking to my best friend is not my favorite thing. I want to tell him everything, but I’ve always been one to retreat when things get difficult.
When I didn’t get my scholarship, I avoided Jameson until he hunted me down and made me talk to him. It’s what I do.
I look over at Oakley, who’s stolen Garrison’s guitar and is strumming on it, even though he doesn’t know how to play, and it definitely shows.
Garrison takes it back from him, shoving his shoulder and sits down in his chair, his acoustic guitar resting on his thighs as he strums, telling Oakley to let the professional do it.
We all laugh, but Oakley is totally unbothered, as always. Instead, he belts out an old Garth Brooks song at the top of his lungs, unsurprisingly off-pitch, and damn it, I find it endearing instead of annoying.
Because that’s just Oakley. He’s so free in that way. He can be himself whenever he wants. Loud as he wants. And it’s contagious.
I find myself smiling in his direction, and when he catches my eyes, he shoots me a small, but very confident wink I hope Jameson doesn’t notice.
If he does, it must not seem out of the ordinary because Jameson doesn’t say a word. Just moves over to his boyfriend and sits at his side, singing loudly with Oakley and the rest of the partygoers.
When the party begins to wind down, my entire body thrums with excitement as I sneak away with Oakley over to his house. We don’t waste any time getting naked and heading back to his room, clothes flying, and our mouths smashed together with passion and need.
I land on my back on the bed as his big naked body falls on top of me, and we don’t take a breath. We kiss, and our hands roam over each other, already well acquainted. I know he likes it when I suck on his tongue, so I do. He knows I love it when he sucks on my neck, so he does that next.
His mouth moves over my collarbone and down over my nipples, taking time to tease and lick them before moving down the middle of my stomach, circling his tongue over my bellybutton, and then his lips find mine again.
Our hard, leaking cocks drag over each other’s, and we both groan with need. It’s a dance we’ve done many times now, one usually ending with my mouth on him or with a mutual jerking session, but tonight I want more.
I’m not saving myself for anything special, and while Oakley has been incredible, just going for it, I highly doubt he’ll ever let me inside his body. It’s not something I’m even sure I want, but I know if I want to try, it’ll likely be with someone else.
But I also know I want to feel someone inside me. I need to know what it’s like to feel full and have someone move inside me over and over until I cry out with my release. And I want that person to be Oakley.
He’s been patient and moved slowly with me. I know he won’t hurt me. He’s explored with his finger inside me a few times now, and I know his dick is only going to make that experience better.
Of course, a part of me wishes he was a little smaller. I hold his face in my hands and look down at his massive cock, that’s not only long but thick, and know, without a doubt, this is going to be a bit of a challenge.
One I want to take on.
“What are you thinking?” he asks, a nervous smile on his handsome face.
“I’m thinking I want that”—I nod toward his dick and then meet his eyes with mine—“inside me.”
His eyes flash with surprise as he looks down between us and then back up at me. “Are you sure you want that?”
“Do you not?” I quirk an eyebrow in curiosity, but nerves tackle my senses because what if I read this wrong. What if hand jobs and blowjobs are just fine, but this is more than what he wants?
What if he’s telling himself it’s no big deal because we haven’t crossed this line before and I’m a fucking idiot?
Shit. I’m panicking.
“Where did you go just now?” He looks down at me with careful caution.
“If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine. I know it’s a lot.”
He doesn’t move his big body off mine, and I’m starting to feel vulnerable, the need to get him off me and run away beginning to take over. But he doesn’t move. “It is a lot. You haven’t done that before, right?”
He asks it in a way that says he already knows but wants me to confirm it. “No, but it’s not that big of a deal for me.”
He studies me carefully, and I start to fidget beneath him. He really needs to let me up if he’s going to reject me. It’s fine. I’ll be fine but not when I’m pinned underneath him, completely naked.
“It’s a big deal for me.” His weight is braced by both his arms on either side of my body, and I can see the veins in his biceps popping with the strain. “I want this, but I want you to want it too.”
I meet his eyes, confusion swirling in my gut. He wants this. “I wouldn’t have asked for it if I didn’t want it,” I say honestly.
“With me?”
I nod, and then I see the vulnerability in his eyes. Oh. Ohhh. “Yes, with you,” I say and brush a hand over his cheek. “I want this. I just didn’t want to pressure you into it.”
“Pressure me?” he says with a startled laugh that breaks the tension. “I’ve wanted this since the first time we kissed. I just didn’t know if you were saving it for someone special.”
I move my hand down over his throat and then over his thundering heart. The vulnerability is back for both of us, it seems. And I don’t want to think about the weird thoughts swirling around in my brain—screaming at me that I was waiting for someone special, and Oakley is that someone special.
Because I don’t want to confuse myself. We both know what this is. He wants easy—simple. It’s who he is. He doesn’t want complicated, and we started this because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.
Because to him and to me, there was no chance of either of us complicating this. It’s just sex. A new friendship with an old nemesis. At least for my part, but I’m pretty sure Oakley thought we were always friends.
“I have one request then.”
“Okay?” It comes out like a question, my throat dry from the nerves coursing through me.
“You can say no . . .” he starts, and my heart is rapidly beating in my chest, tired of the anticipation.
“What is it, Oakley? What do you want?”
Part of me wonders if he’s going to request that I turn over, away from him, so maybe he can convince himself he’s not with a man.
And God help me, I’ll do it. Not because I’m okay with that, but because I’m already planning on doing that.
I don’t want to look at him. I don’t want my dumbass brain to get all confused.
“Can we do it without a condom?”
“W-what?” My eyes widen in shock as I gape at him.
He looks almost sheepish now, and it would be adorable if I wasn’t so surprised by his request. “I mean, I have one. We can use one, no problem, but I was just thinking . . .” He sits back on his knees between my spread thighs, his dick only half hard now but still insanely impressive.
“I’ve never done it that way. Never wanted to risk it and never been with someone exclusively. ”
Is that what we are?
“You’re only with me?”
His eyes darken at the question as they meet mine. “Of course. I thought that’s what this was.”
“It’s a hookup arrangement,” I say because while I didn’t know if he was fooling around with anyone else, I didn’t ask. Because I didn’t think it was my right to.
“An exclusive one though, right?” he asks me, his eyes imploring me to tell him the truth. I know I haven’t been with anyone else. I haven’t even thought about it. But I never thought he was only planning on being with me.
“Is that what you want?”
He nods quickly, easily answering, “Yes. And I’d never put you at risk by messing around with anyone else while we are.”
He’s so damn earnest, it’s refreshing. It seems the rest of the world is busy playing games, but not Oakley. He doesn’t do that. He says what he wants, and he means what he says.
“I don’t want anyone else either.” He grins, and I realize how my words could sound, so I quickly add, “I mean now. I don’t. One is enough. I’m just getting used to the one dick. I don’t need more than that.”
Shut. Up. Travis.
He’s grinning bigger now, sliding his big body back over mine as he kisses me softly. “So if neither of us is fucking anyone else, and we only plan on being with each other, the condom seems stupid.”
I grin, threading my fingers through his soft hair. “Have you been tested?” It’s important to be smart, even though my cock has gone back to full-mast, fully ready to have him in every way I can get him. And I feel his hard shaft dragging over mine, making it hard to think.
“I’m negative. Tested two months ago, and I haven’t been with anyone for . . .” He pauses like he has to think about it. “Fuck. I haven’t been with anyone in six months.”
I know he won’t lie to me. For whatever reason, I trust Oakley because I can feel it. He doesn’t lie. “I’m negative too.”
His plump lips move over mine slowly, taking his time to lull me into a whimpering mess under him. My cock is throbbing and leaking, sliding against his and begging for relief.
“I want this,” I say, and he nods, sitting back again to grab lube from the drawer next to the bed.
“Me too.”
I smile, the breath leaving my body, relieved and ready for this.
I didn’t see this coming at all, but this—with Oakley—in this moment, it’s what I want more than anything else.