Chance
My stomach is in knots, and I feel tears threatening to fall, just thinking about the worst time in my life. But Noah’s here, sitting next to me and hearing me out like no one else would.
He’s giving this to me.
And I can’t believe it. How we got here, I don’t know. It feels almost like a dream. But for some reason, I need him to know the truth.
I trust him with the truth, no matter how painful it is to relive it.
“I thought he wasn’t going to that club anymore after the time I saw him there and took him home. I thought I made it clear just how dangerous it was. But apparently, he thought he could handle anything.”
I shake my head incredulously.
“He was big for sixteen. Built for football. He didn’t think anything bad could happen.” Terror creeps back in when I think about the naive sixteen-year-old at a bar an hour away from home where he didn’t know a soul.
“Hey.” Noah’s strong hand lands on my thigh for the second time tonight, and I swear I can feel the heat from his palm. It makes me too stupid to speak for a moment. Just from the goddamn contact.
I really need to get a grip.
And then it’s not so hard to do when my mind returns to the story. To when it felt like my entire life blew up. “He had a picture of me on his phone. It wasn’t anything bad, but it was me in the bar dancing with a few guys. I didn’t see him there, Noah.”
My voice sounds broken, even to my own ears, and he squeezes my thigh in comfort. His deep voice fills the sinking void in my gut. “I know you didn’t.”
The fact that he believes me is enough to push through.
“They were convinced I dragged him to that bar. That I had been doing all sorts of things with their son. They called me everything they could think of, and each one landed deep inside me, slicing at my heart.” I close my eyes, thinking about the vile things they shouted at me when I joined them in the superintendent’s office.
They came for my job, and they took it.
No one asked my side. The superintendent seemed appalled by the picture. By me being gay. But he held his tongue.
Fired me on the premise of inappropriate actions with a student, even though they had no proof.
I open my eyes and look directly at Noah. “They fired me. They couldn’t press charges, but they could fire me. Ruin my reputation.”
Noah looks horrified, but not like he’s disgusted with me. No, he looks disgusted with them, and relief floods through me. “Over one picture of you with grown men and not the student?”
I nod. “It didn’t matter to them. They thought from the way the kid talked about me and the picture on his phone, they had enough.” It was all bullshit. It never would have held up in a courtroom, and they knew it, but they fired me all the same.
“Anthony hired you though.” It’s not said with malice. More like awe.
I nod, smiling when I say, “Yeah, he and my dad actually go way back.”
“What?” His brow furrows, and goddamn, it’s so cute, it actually lightens my mood a little.
I fight back a small laugh. “They grew up together. Bet you didn’t know your principal was originally a Bear.”
He removes his hand from my thigh, and I mourn the loss but can’t help smiling at the shocked expression on his gorgeous face as he scrubs at his chin with his hand. “A Bear? How the hell did he keep that a secret?”
“I love that you’re focused on that after my whole story,” I try to joke.
His expression grows stormy again, though, and he looks flustered. “No. I’m sorry . . .”
I hold up a hand, and this time the laugh just tumbles out.
“I know. I’m kidding. But yes, Anthony grew up with my dad, and my dad called in a favor.
He didn’t believe what was being said about me, and Anthony took his word for it and gave me a shot.
Although he told me in no uncertain terms that I’d better keep it all a secret as much as I can. ”
He winces. “The thing with the kid or being gay?”
I shrug but can’t hide the hurt I feel. “I’m pretty sure all of it.”
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. After a moment, he asks, “So your parents . . . ?”
I know what he’s asking, and I sigh. “Eh, I came out to them pretty early. In our house, it was always pretty much accepted but not talked about.”
“So not really accepted,” he growls, and damn, that’s cute too. I really need to be careful with this weird little crush I seem to be forming.
“I don’t know. It was like they were scared. They knew what town they were raising me in. Knew it would be a struggle, at the very least. They wanted to protect me, but yeah, I think in the end, they stifled me.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Chance.” I can feel the guilt pouring off him, no matter how misguided.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I should have told them to shut up today. I should have shut it down. I just . . .”
His eyes meet mine, and I see that same haunted look that was on his face today in the teachers’ lounge. I don’t know what it means or what he’s hiding, but I know it’s something big.
Something he fears deeply.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m fine. I’m grateful you gave me a chance to tell you my side.”
He shakes his head, looking so damn distraught. “You didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry. I should have said something.” He huffs and then takes a deep breath. “I’m such a goddamn coward. I always have been.”
“Yeah, that’s not at all how I see you, and I’m pretty sure no one else does either,” I say, hoping to push him past this. “You’re the great Coach Asher.”
He snorts and shakes his head, but a small smile plays on his lips now. “You’re ridiculous.”
I grin wide now. “That’s what they tell me.”
He settles back into the couch, and the tense moment seems to be over. But I’m also praying he doesn’t kick me out. I don’t want to leave yet. Even if friendship is all we can ever have, I’ll take it.
I could definitely use a friend these days.
To my utter shock, he hands me the remote. “Okay. You can pick the movie. I’ll pick it next week.”
My eyes light up, and he chuckles, not saying anything else. But I think he must know how much the gesture means to me. Next week. We’re doing this again next week.
We’re going to be friends.