Noah
Ican’t keep my damn eyes off him. It’s a real problem. One I need to fix and fast, but how can I when he’s so damn good with the players? I mean, they still don’t totally trust him. That much is clear.
But he’s wearing them down slowly. He’s wearing the black and red colors well too, if I say so myself.
A red t-shirt is stretched across his broad chest—a chest I now know is firmly muscled and defined.
Every single part of him is so damn defined.
I could have spent hours dragging my finger through every single ridge on his body yesterday.
But after the heated make-out session on my couch, where we rubbed off together until I saw the brightest damn stars I’ve ever seen burst behind my eyes, we just hung out. Watched movies and then ate dinner.
I don’t know if we can actually do this—date without anyone finding out—but God, I want to try. When he confirmed that was what he wanted too, I couldn’t take it anymore. The hope and want was just too damn great.
So now I’m standing here, ogling him while he helps the offense get ready for the game on Friday. I need to get it together.
I finally shake it off just enough to get through practice. The guys shower and change, all heading home slowly, and my eyes are trained on Chance the whole time. He smirks at me, like he knows exactly what I’m thinking, and I’m sure he does.
He walks over to me, keeping his voice low. “I’m going to run home real quick and shower. Pizza at your place?”
I look straight ahead and not at him, forcing my face to retain a bored expression. “I suppose. But we’re going to have to throw a salad in there somewhere.”
“Pshh. I’ll help you work it off.”
The fucker winks at me just as I turn to glare at him for getting me excited while some of the players are still here, but then he ducks out of the locker room and leaves.
When everyone leaves and I lock up, I’m thrumming with excitement. But instead of taking my exit toward the country road I live on, I continue down the highway to the nearest town with a fancy Walmart Supercenter.
I park my truck and go inside, feeling like a damn teenager again. I shouldn’t be here. Someone might recognize me, but it’s thirty minutes from Kensley and the chances are slim.
I head straight to the aisle I need and am instantly overwhelmed. There are so many damn choices. I groan internally and grab a simple-looking bottle of lube and a pack of condoms, then practically run to the self-checkout.
When I get back to my house, I see Chance on the porch, a pizza box sitting next to him on the small table there.
I climb out of my truck, grocery bag in hand, and walk up the steps as he stands up to his full height, looking so fucking gorgeous with damp hair and a red, Kensley hoodie and black joggers.
“Hey, I thought you were going to stand me up.”
“Never,” I say honestly.
He grins, and I let us both into the house. He puts the pizza box on the kitchen counter, and I drop the bag next to it, my cheeks flaming, just thinking about what’s inside.
“I’m sorry I was late.”
He’s eyeing the bag pretty hard and then looking at me. “Where did you go?”
I point to the bag, grabbing plates for the pizza. “Walmart.”
He chuckles. “Why? We have a store here.”
I wave him off, huffing as I plate our pizza. “Not one with those fancy self-checkout things.”
His eyes widen, and I can tell he’s amused.
I sigh and lean back against the counter with my arms folded, knowing he isn’t going to let this go.
“So . . .” He walks over, standing a foot in front of me.
“You needed a self-checkout . . . What exactly did you need to buy?” He waggles his eyebrows, playful and teasing, but I can’t help the embarrassment that floods through me.
I huff again. “I’m completely out of my element here.”
Now he frowns, all the teasing gone, and my shoulders slump even more. “Wait. Why do you say that?”
I drop my hands. “I haven’t dated anyone for a long damn time, okay? My first date was a school hayride. My last one was with the same person years ago. I just . . .”
“Hey.” He moves into me, his hands resting on my cheeks, holding my gaze on him. “I’m not sure I’ve ever gone out on an actual date before.”
Great, a reminder of how completely experienced he is and how unexperienced I am. “I wanted to get condoms and lube in case . . .” I puff out a humiliated breath. “I don’t even know. I don’t know the fucking dating rules. I’m almost forty years old, and I never expected to ever need condoms again.”
He’s watching me carefully, almost unnervingly. “Noah,” he says softly. “There are no rules. And I could have bought the condoms and lube if you’d have asked me.”
“That would have been embarrassing too. Asking my twenty-five-year-old . . .” I wave my hand in the air because I don’t know what he is. I’m rushing this, I think. I can feel it. I’m being an idiot.
This is so not me. I’m confident. Steadfast. I’m not unsure like this.
“Your twenty-five-year-old what?” His lip curls up in a knowing grin, and I shove his chest playfully, making his hands drop from my face.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what we’re doing.
Like I said, I don’t know the rules.” I step away from him for a moment, trying to think.
“Nancy got pregnant on our second date. We went from our first kiss to so much more, and then before I knew it, we were married with a baby.” I meet his eyes nervously, certain I’m freaking him out, but he doesn’t look scared.
“I loved my wife. I . . .” My voice cracks a little, and I clear my throat loudly, trying to move past it, “I loved what we did together. I . . .”
He walks back over to me, putting a soothing hand on my back and rubbing small circles there. “I’m glad you had that. I know you loved her.”
“I did.” My eyes meet his. “I was faithful and never wanted anything else, but then she left and now . . .”
“Now?” he urges softly.
“Now you’re here, and you may be the most beautiful human I’ve ever met. And I want you.”
He grins, but it’s surprisingly not arrogant. It’s sweet. “I want you too. But I meant it when I said there are no rules. None. We can just eat pizza tonight and watch movies and relax. Nothing has to happen.”
But I want something to happen. I feel alive again when he kisses me. It’s all I think about. It’s becoming a real problem.
“I want more. I just feel ridiculous. I don’t have any other experience.”
He leans in and kisses me softly. “No rules. The past doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out together. Let’s just eat for now.”
I nod slowly, feeling dumb. “Okay.”
He kisses me softly again and takes my hand, leading me over to the pizza. We grab it and head to the couch, getting comfortable.
We eat quietly while I pick a movie to watch. My head spins with so many dizzying thoughts. When we’re finished eating, Chance cleans up and then comes back to the couch, laying his head in my lap.
He places my hand on his head, and I laugh, taking the hint and stroking his hair. “I’m sorry I ruined our night.”
He laughs. “This is perfect. I love this movie.” He motions to the screen as I sift my fingers through his hair. “I’m just happy to be here.”
“I’m happy you’re here too,” I say with honesty, my heart clenching in my chest, thinking about the short time I’ve known him. It feels like too much and not enough at the same time.
What if he would have just written me off as a grumpy bastard? What if he would have quit instead of confronting me? It sends a panicky feeling through me.
“Stop,” he says calmly but firmly. “Watch the movie and relax. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not letting you sneak away from me either.”
I grin. “Is that so?”
“Yup.” I feel him nod against my thigh.
“You really don’t care that we aren’t using that stuff I bought?”
He sits up now, twisting to face me, and I turn my head to look at him.
“This isn’t a race. I didn’t expect this at all, but I know I’m not going anywhere unless you make me.
I want to see where this goes.” He grazes his hand over my cheek.
“I love that you braved the store to buy condoms and lube, but I also know you probably aren’t ready to use them. And that’s okay.”
“When did you become so mature?”
He leans in and kisses me softly, and it feels so damn good, I melt into him until he pulls his lips away and rests his forehead against mine. “Just trust me, okay?”
I nod, realizing I do. I trust him far more than I’ve allowed myself to trust anyone for a long time.
Hell, maybe ever.
And that scares the hell out of me.