Chapter Noah
Noah
Once again, I’m a bundle of damn nerves. This is new for me. Seriously. I’ve always been good under pressure.
I don’t regret walking into that diner, hand in hand with Chance. But now that school is back in session, we’re finally, truly facing it.
We walk down the halls of the high school, not holding hands this time, but side-by-side, and I let myself feel his strength. For the first time in my life, I’m depending on another person as much as I am myself for strength.
I grew up being taught that as the man, it was my job to be the strong one. All the time. Don’t cry. Don’t let them see you have any weakness. Basically, don’t feel at all. But I don’t have to do that with Chance.
I’ve learned just how toxic my upbringing was.
With Chance, we lean on each other. And it’s a beautiful thing.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says quietly as I look around and see various pairs of eyes on us, a lot of whispering going on. They could be talking about other things, but it’s almost certain that some of them are talking about us.
As we head toward the locker room and my office, we’re intercepted by Anthony. We all stop walking, and I hold my breath, waiting to see how this will go. He doesn’t look displeased, but he doesn’t seem jovial either.
“Gentlemen,” he greets us.
“Hello, sir. Did you have a good break?” Chance, ever the charming asshole, asks.
Anthony smiles at him and nods. “I did.” He looks at me now. “If you don’t mind, Noah, I’d like to have a word with you in my office.”
“Oh, sir? Just Noah?” Chance starts, but I quickly speak up now.
“It’s okay.” I know he feels like he should be there too, but I can handle this. I’m the head coach. I’ve been here longer. I can talk to our principal on my own. I turn to focus on Chance, hoping my eyes show him what I can’t say out loud right now. “It’ll be fine. I’ll see you in a bit.”
He wants to argue. I can feel it. But he just sighs softly and nods. “Okay.”
I follow Anthony to his office, and he closes the door as I take a seat. Then he moves to sit down behind his desk. All business. I don’t like it at all. But I sit and wait to hear whatever he’s going to say.
“Noah, I don’t think you ever met my son, Brandon.” Okay, that’s not what I thought he was going to start with. What the hell?
“Um . . . no?” It comes out like a question because I have no idea what the hell is going on. Why are we talking about his son?
He nods sadly, his face showing his despair. “Yeah, I didn’t think so. He left a while ago and never looked back.”
“Um, sir?” I don’t know what to say.
He sighs deeply, his sad eyes on mine. “Almost twenty years ago, Brandon told my wife and me he’s gay.
” I try to steel my gaze and not show anything, but this is definitely news to me.
“We didn’t handle it well. Not at all.” He holds up a hand in the air, kind of making a waving motion.
“Not that it’s anything to handle at all.
Or anything like that, but we . . .” He sounds distraught, and I see how painful the memory is to him.
“We acted terribly. And he left. It’s my biggest regret in life. I suspect it always will be.”
“I’m sorry . . .” I stare at him, dumbfounded.
He sighs again. “I should have acted better. I should have listened to him and tried to . . .” He huffs. “I don’t know. Just loved him. I do love him.”
“I’m sure you could tell him that,” I try.
He shakes his head sadly. “No. He hasn’t spoken to me since. I have no idea where he is, out there in the great big world. I hope to hell he’s happy. Healthy. But I have no idea, and I lost the right to know that a long time ago.”
“Sir.” I keep my tone careful. “Why are you telling me this?”
Obviously, it has something to do with Chance and me being a couple, but I’m not sure how it applies.
“You heard about Chance and me,” I say it as a statement, and he confirms it with a nod.
“I did.”
“But sir . . . I’m not your son.”
He smiles as he nods again. “No, you’re not.
But because of that experience, there’s no way in hell I’m going to mess things up between you and Chance.
You’re a damn good coach, one of the best I’ve ever seen.
And not just out on the field, but off it.
I know how much you care about these kids.
And Chance, he’s good too. He has a lot of potential. ”
“He does.”
He sits back in his chair and lets out a long breath.
“You don’t have to worry about your jobs or your reputation at this school.
I know Kensley can be behind the times.” That’s one way of putting it, but I let him continue.
“But I think things are getting better. And I want you to know that you and Chance both have my full support. Not that you need it.”
“Thank you,” I say, and it almost sounds like a question. I didn’t think he would outright fire us for being a couple, but this isn’t what I expected either.
He smiles and stands up. “I expect the same thing from you two as I do the other couples at this school.” I stand up too and wait for him to go on. “Hug and kiss when saying goodbye and hello. Keep it PG. And if things go bad and you break up, you remain civil while at work.”
“We aren’t breaking up,” I say firmly because I cannot stand the thought. “But if we do, I can promise that.”
He smiles. “Good to hear.”
He shakes my hand and then releases it, but I can’t walk away yet. “Maybe there’s a way to track down your son. I’m sure you could apologize. Make it right.”
I couldn’t leave without saying that because he seems so damn sad.
I have no doubt my parents would have acted poorly if they knew I was interested in men, but I’d like to think they’d eventually come to their senses.
That they would try to make it right, and even if decades had gone by, I’d want to hear them out.
He shakes his head and sucks in a deep breath. “He doesn’t want to be found. I don’t deserve the second chance, but I can do my best to never hurt anyone like that again.”
I nod, not totally understanding. It’s tragic that people let small things grow into great big things. Things as simple as love turning into deep-seated hate. It makes no sense, but all I can do is thank him again and walk out of his office to my own, where Chance is waiting.
“Well?” He stands up and walks to me as soon as I enter the office. “I swear to God, if he said anything shitty, we can leave today. We’ll find somewhere better.”
I shush him with a finger over his lush lips and smile. “He’s on our side. No need to pack up and leave.”
He studies me carefully and takes my hand—the one with the finger on his lips—pulling it between us and holding onto it. “It’s okay?”
I nod. “We have his full support. Not that we needed it, but it’ll help going forward.”
“I’ll be damned,” he says looking shocked but also relieved as he squeezes my hand.
I kiss him—a very quick, chaste, school kiss—and then pull back to see that sparkle in his eyes and a big grin on his face.
“It’s going to be okay.”
He nods. “Good.” He releases my hand and sits in his chair, looking overly casual and laid-back. “Because I think Kensley might be growing on me.”
I laugh and take a seat. “Yeah. I’m not much for big cities. I like it here too.”
Who knew the place where I’ve always felt just a little bit trapped could eventually be the home I always wanted it to be?
It just took a little bit of courage and a whole lot of Chance.