Chapter Adam
Adam
Idon’t want to pull Zach from his deep sleep, but I just got a text from my mom telling us that lunch is ready and I know we need to face this head on as soon as possible. My parents are cool, but I’m not sure where their heads are at.
They’ve raised four of us, I’m not sure they really want to take on three more. Although, I always got the feeling my mom wanted to have even more kids and I know how much she cares about those girls.
“Zach.” I breath into his ear, loving the scent of him despite the mess that we’re in. He rolls over to his back and groans, but keeps his eyes closed. “Zach.”
“Hmm?”
“We need to get to lunch. Mom wants to talk I think.”
He sits straight up now, his whole body going rigid. “What time is it?”
I sit up and hug around his waist, hoping to calm him. “It’s noon. Everyone is okay. It’s just time to go back to my parents.”
He nods slowly at that and I feel him release his breath slowly. “Okay. Let’s go.”
We climb out of bed and put our coats on, walking back to the house and when we walk inside we’re greeted with laughter. Lots and lots of laughter and warm heat from the fireplace.
Mom sees us walk in and directs us to the kitchen where we join dad, my brothers and the girls all already at the table and digging into to fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
“Sit boys.” Mom says as she hands us both a plate. We take it and load up as she sits down.
Mary seems awfully content and I’m grateful she has a smile on her face right now after so much trauma this morning.
“I took Mary to the doctor.” I feel Zach stiffen next to me and I look over at my mom waiting for her to continue. “She’s okay. They think she might have a stomach bug and there’s no sign of concussion.”
“Uh…” Zach seems at a loss for words, but I know he’s worried about what I am. Doctors would and should ask questions when a child comes in with a bruise like that.
She waves him off with a smile, “We may have told a little white lie.” She looks over at Mary and then back at us, “That Mary was staying with us and fell. Don’t worry. They know us well after all the years you boys have gone in there hurt. They just checked her out.”
“No cops!” Mary says happily and my heart breaks for her that she was stuck in such hell for so long that she knows if the cops were called she’d likely be taken into child protective custody.
“No baby. No cops.” My mom says and I send a sad smile her way. I’m grateful as hell to her.
We all eat and chat about mundane things until the younger kids finish and they all bounce off to play in the snow that has started to fall since we got here. It’s not much, but enough for them to be excited.
That’s when the discussion turns serious and mom sets her eyes on us. “I talked to your mother, Zach.”
Again he stiffens again and looks like he’s going to puke.
“And?” I ask, even though I’m as afraid as Zach looks right now.
“And the girls are going to stay here for a while. She understands and while I don’t feel much sympathy for her.” Her gaze softens on Zach, “I’m sorry, Sweetie.”
Zach lifts a dismissive hand, “I don’t have any for her.”
She smiles sadly at him. “I don’t blame you.
I don’t have much, but I have a little bit maybe because I’ve known her for so long or how devastated I know she was when she lost your father.
” He looks pale again, but my mom keeps on, “But I told her that if she leaves Elliot and gets herself together, we can talk. Until then, she’s agreed the girls are not safe there and she knows where they are. Knows we’ll take good care of them.”
My heart is racing, but I’m in total awe of my mother.
I shouldn’t have doubted her, but I’m amazed that in the few hours Zach and I were sleeping my mother handled everything.
“Now, we won’t be their official guardians, obviously.
It’s all verbal agreements, but I know your mother pretty well and I don’t think she’s going to make this difficult. ”
Zach nods, “She’s probably relieved.”
My mom reaches out and places her hand on Zach’s that resting on the table. “She knows they weren’t safe. I think she wants the best for you kids even though she’s done a poor job of achieving that.”
My dad grunts and I know there are things he wants to say, but keeps his mouth shut.
“Now.” That’s my mom’s serious tone and I focus on her again, “You boys can stay in the camper, but if it gets too cold at night or too cramped you can always come here. The couch won’t fit both of you but we have an air mattress.
We can figure it out. You’re both to still go to school every single day and Zach? ”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“If you want to get a job, we can’t and won’t stop you, but it would be better for us if you would help out here.”
Zach isn’t dumb, he knows that while my parents will always take the extra help, but this is more for him and not having to work while juggling school. Still, he smiles and nods, “I can do that. I’ll do my fair share, I promise.”
My dad pats him on the shoulder, “We have no doubt whatsoever, kid. We just want you to finish school.”
“I will.” He promises. “And I’ll help with the girls. You won’t have to do anything. I promise.”
My mom holds up one hand and stops his rambling. Thank fuck. “Stop that. Those girls are little angels compared to what I’m used to.”
“I feel like I should be offended.” I say and my mom laughs.
“Zachary, we’re here to help. You need to let us.”
He nods his head, but looks unsure and I know he’s held onto way too much responsibility in his eighteen years, but I hope he’ll hear what they are saying. They’ll help and so will I.
He’s not alone.
We do the dishes and help to clean up after lunch, going outside to play with the kids for a bit and Zach spends some extra time with Mary making sure she’s okay before we head back to the camper.
When we walk inside Zach flops down on the bed, looking tired and worn. I hate this for him. I know he’s worried. I know it all still feels up in the air, but I also trust my parents.
My mom wouldn’t bullshit us, not even to protect us. That woman only knows how to tell the truth and if she doesn’t think his mother is going to be a problem, then she’s probably right.
I drop down on the floor in front of him and take each one of his shoes off, tossing them behind me. His hand smooths over my hair and I lean against his thigh, the denim still cold from outside.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“But for how long?” His voice is strained, but neither of us move. I rest against his thigh and he strokes my hair.
“For as long as you need. My parents wouldn’t offer to take care of the girls if they weren’t totally up for it. My mom is right, compared to me and my brothers, they are angels.”
“I can’t ask them to do this.”
“You didn’t.” I shift so I can look up at him and his hand falls to my shoulder.
“Adam…”
“No.” I stop him because I know what he’s going to say. “You didn’t. You never ask for help and you need it now. Let them help you. Please. Let us all help you.”
His hand moves up and sweeps over my cheek and he huffs, “You know I love you right?”
I smile because I do. We’ve always loved each other. “You know I’m completely and totally in love with you, right?”
His eyes shine, wet and tired, “You are?”
It’s my turn to huff as I climb off the floor and sit next to him on the bed, cupping his face in mine, “I am. I am so in love with you and everything we do going forward will be with that in mind.”
His shoulders slump but I don’t release him from my grasp. “I can’t ask you to do that either. My future is….” He sighs, “It’s going to be hard. It’s no secret that I want custody of my sisters. That I want to give them a good life.”
“And you don’t think I want the same thing?”
“Adam…” He starts but my hold on him tightens and I hold his eyes on me.
“Zach, you’ve always been part of my future and I’ll do anything I can to make sure that future is bright.”
His eyes are still wet with unshed tears and I want them to fall. Because I don’t want him to hold anything back with me. “We’re eighteen in Kensley. I don’t know how the hell to make it happen. I can’t lean on you and your parents for forever.”
“You’re right. We are eighteen. And my parents taught me it’s okay to lean on family—that’s what they are to you.”
“And us?” He looks pale now, “We’re…”
“Together.” I finish.
“Yes. And how do you think that’s going to go over with custody here in Kensley? This town…they’ll….”
“Hey.” I hold onto him and look straight into his eyes, “No one will find out about us. We can keep it quiet. My parents will take care of the girls. We’ll finish school and the house and we will figure it out.”
“How are you always so damn sure?”
I grin at that because I can feel him starting to settle which makes me calm. “Because I am. I love you, Zach. And I’ll make damn sure you’re safe and your sisters are safe for as long as I’m breathing. So please just trust me.”
He leans forward, my hands still on his face and he presses a hard kiss to my mouth. “I love you too. I’m so damn in love with you. It feels like a dream. I wanted this for so long and I never thought it could happen, but here we are.”
I smile against his mouth that’s still pressed against mine. “We are.”
“Thank you.” He says softly and I want to tell him he never has to thank me, but he’d just argue and I don’t want to argue right now.
I pull him down on the bed and wrap my arms around him, not bothering to take our coats off because it is pretty damn cold in here, but I’m not getting up to turn on the heater.
We’ll be okay.