Zach
Graduation is coming up fast and damn am I in a good mood as I walk the halls of the high school after school. I had a meeting with my algebra teacher for some extra credit so Adam is already home, but I’m heading there now and I cannot wait.
I think I’m actually whistling when I make out to the parking lot when I come to a dead stop when I see Chloe is walking toward her car.
Shit.
I haven’t talked to her so damn long and haven’t had any more altercations since Homecoming, but I don’t want to fight with her now. I still hate the look of pain on her face when she looks over at me though.
“What the hell are you so happy about?”
Yup, she’s still really angry. And she has every right to be. I wince and shake my head, trying to make it to my truck, but she cuts me off. It’s warm out but she’s wearing her Kensley Panther black hoodie and her eyes are lined with black, fiercely stuck on me.
“Answer me.”
“Chloe…” I start, but I don’t know what to say. A lot of people know about me and Adam, but no one at school. No one that will ever say a thing.
“Please.” Her eyes shift from angry to just so damn sad and it breaks my heart. “Just… how the hell are you so happy when I’m so miserable?”
“I’m….” I deflate. “I’m sorry, Chloe.”
She chokes on a sob and I hate myself even more for hurting her. “I loved you. I mean I really loved you.”
I know she did. I wanted to love her too. “I’m sorry.” I say again and I know it’s lame but I mean it. “I’m so damn sorry. I would take it back if I could.”
She flinches and I feel even worse. “Why wasn’t I good enough for you? Why? Just tell me. I mean I know….” She lets out a puff of air, “I know, I’m trash okay? I live in a shitty little house in town with my stripper mother who says she’s a waitress but we all know is a stripper.”
“What?” I say actually dumbfounded. “I don’t care about that.”
And I never did. Her mom is nice. A hell of a lot nicer than mine.
And she doesn’t have a shithead stepfather at her house.
I actually didn’t mind hanging out there.
“Don’t do that. Don’t lie to me. I know okay?
But I tried to be a really good girlfriend.
I did everything.” She sobs and catches herself.
“Just tell me why you couldn’t love me.”
“Chloe…” I swallow hard, trying to make my gut unknot with all the guilt I’m feeling. “It wasn’t you. It really wasn’t. You were a fantastic girlfriend and I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did and I can never tell you how sorry I am because words just can’t say it.”
Her eyes are wet with tears and she wipes one away smearing her eye makeup. “I just wanted out of here and you…. I thought you were one of the good ones. One who would get out.”
“I didn’t want out. Not of the town anyway and you don’t need a man to get what you want, Chloe.” Although I know growing up here sure makes girls think that they do need to rely on a man for a future.
Hell I swear half our class is engaged already planning to be married right out of high school. It’s just the way around here.
She scoffs at me. “Right.”
“Take care of yourself, Chloe.” I say, walking toward my truck again because as bad as I feel, I don’t think there’s anything I can do.
“I’m pregnant.” I stop and turn to look at her, my eyes wide. She rolls her eyes, “Do you need to go back and take biology again? It’s not yours.”
I snort a disturbed laugh because that wasn’t on my mind at all, but I’m still totally shocked. “I know that, but… you’re pregnant?”
She tries to stand tall, her small shoulders lifted, but it’s a front. She’s scared to death and I can see it plain as day. “Yeah. I’m a total fucking cliche.” Her tiny shoulders droop and her chin lowers, “The dumbass cheerleader getting knocked up senior year. I’m becoming my mother.”
I don’t know what to say. She looks so damn lost and distraught, and no matter what anyone says, I had a hand in getting her into this place. She trusted me and I failed her. “What are you going to do?”
She laughs, but it’s not joyful in anyway.
It’s cold and angry…a little sad. “I went to the abortion clinic. I was ready you know? I was just going to make it go away, but….” Her eyes shine with tears as she meets mine and I think she decides not to say what she was going to.
“I didn’t. I’m going to have the baby. And I know you think I’m stupid… .”
I shake my head vehemently. “No. I don’t. Not at all. I think you’re brave.” I grab the back of my neck with my hand, “Really brave. This isn’t going to be easy.”
She scoffs at that, “Nope. It won’t be. Not at all. I’ll probably wind up on the pole just like my mother, but I couldn’t…” She shakes her head again and I step forward, wanting to hug her.
Wanting to comfort her. Wanting to be there for her the way I should have been. Not because I’m in love with her, but because we were friends and she deserved so much better.
I don’t touch her though. I’m not that stupid. “Who’s the father?”
She laughs at that again and again there is no joy whatsoever. Her mouth forms a deep frown and she cups her stomach delicately with both hands and looks down at her belly affectionately and for some reason, in that moment I know that she’s going to be okay.
I don’t know how I know. I just do. She loves this baby already. She wants it.
“My baby was conceived at a Bear party, with me smashed up against a tree and of us drunk out of our minds. Classy. I know.”
I stare at her and take that in, “Wait.” I stare some more. “Your having a Big Bend Bear’s baby?”
She rolls her eyes but I see a flicker of a smile on her pretty face for the first time in a long time. “That’s what you focus on?”
I shrug playfully, “I don’t know Chloe. Lots of people get drunk, have sex and end up with babies, but a Bear? Come on. That’s just wrong.”
She shoves my chest but she’s laughing now as she says, “Shut. Up.”
I laugh too and damn does it feel good. I sober up a little though and then I do place on very careful hand on her shoulder, “It’s going to be okay.”
Her bottom lip trembles but she manages to lift her chin and then nod. “Yeah. I think it will be.”
“Hey you should come for dinner.” I blurt before I really get a chance to think about it and it surprises us both, but I stick with it. “I moved out of my mom’s. So did the girls, but we’re staying with the Bates.”
“Wait. You moved?”
I nod, my expression going grim. “Mary ended up hurt. Elliot…” my hands clench at my sides, “The fucker pushed her and she bruised her head when I wasn’t there.
We left. Me and Adam, we took the girls to his parents and they’re taking care of them for a little while until I can get everything settled. ”
“Is Mary okay?” She asks with sincere concern.
I smile now and nod, “Yeah she’s okay. She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her actually. She really loves Adam’s mom.”
That makes Chloe smile, “Yeah she seems really nice.”
“She is.” I confirm. “Anyway, I’m staying with Adam in the world’s ugliest camper while he builds his house out there. You should come over for dinner tonight.”
“Um…” She looks conflicted and nervous. I can’t really blame her. But she needs a friend and that’s what I should have been to her all this time. “I need to pick up my sister.”
I nod at that, understanding all too well what it’s like being responsible for a sibling. “Is your mom working tonight?”
She shakes her head, “No she had the day shift, but I need to get my sister and wait until mom gets home around seven.”
I squeeze her shoulder gently. “Come over. Okay?”
She studies me closely and a tear slides down her cheek, “Why are you being so nice to me. I was horrible to you.”
“I deserved it and more, Chloe. I don’t blame you at all for being mad.”
She sniffles and wipes at her face, “I’m sorry. I know what I had in you, Zach and I was so upset that I lost it.”
“You didn’t lose me.” I say firmly and I mean it. “We just….” I sigh loudly, “We didn’t fit. But you don’t need anyone to take care of you Chloe. But I’ll be your friend.”
She smiles brightly at that and reminds me of the girl she was before we started dating and things started going south. “Okay. I’ll be there.”
And I should maybe regret that, but I only feel lighter as I walk to my truck to go tell my boyfriend I invited my ex to dinner.